411’s WWE Fastlane 2016 Report 02.21.16

Welcome to 411’s WWE Fastlane 2016 Report. We are LIVE in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio.

Kickoff Show Match: 2-out-of-3 Falls Match for the United Stated Championship
Kalisto (Champion) vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto goes for an arm wringer to start, but Del Rio reverses and slams Kalisto to the mat. Del Rio whips Kalisto to the corner and goes to work with the mounted punches, but Kalisto slides under and lands of volley of low kicks. Del Rio chases Kalisto out of the ring, but Kalisto catches Del Rio with a hurricanrana as the action returns to the ring. Del Rio rolls out of the ring, but Kalisto dives off the top turnbuckles and takes out Del Rio on the outside. Del Rio fights back and slams Kalisto’s head into the ring steps before rolling Kalisto back into the ring and getting a two count. Del Rio hits a snap suplex that sends Kalisto rolling out of the ring. Del Rio gives chase and whips Kalisto into the barricade. Del Rio lifts Kalisto and tries to javelin him into the ring post, but Kalisto floats over and shoves Del Rio face-first into the post. Kalisto hits a hurricanrana off the barricade that sends Del Rio into the time keeper’s area. Kalisto goes for another hurricanrana off the barricade, but Del Rio grabs a steel chair and connects with Kalisto in mid-air. That’s an immediate disqualification, so Kalisto leads one fall to none. Kalisto may technically be in the lead, but Del Rio is firmly in control. Del Rio whips Kalisto into the barricade again and again and again. We head to a commercial with Del Rio continuing to dominate Kalisto. We return from the break with the action back in the ring. Del Rio hits a springboard double stomp with Kalisto on the second rope, and that’s enough for the three count. Del Rio’s strategy paid off, and the match is now tied one fall a piece. Del Rio takes Kalisto up top and goes after Kalisto’s match. Del Rio ties up Kalisto in the tree of woe and heads up top, but Kalisto pulls himself up and hits a gorgeous hurricanrana off the top. Kalisto hits a springboard senton and a springboard tornado back elbow shot to regain control. Kalisto hits the ropes, but Del Rio catches him and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. Kalisto springs back to his feet and hits a tornado DDT for a two count of his own. Kalisto heads up top, but Del Rio catches him from behind and ties him up in the tree of woe. Del Rio heads up top with Kalisto and hits a gorgeous inverted superplex, but the impact sends Kalisto out of the ring. Del Rio heads out, sets Kalisto on the barricade, and hits the double stomp off the barricade. Del Rio heads back into the, and Kalisto just barely beats the ten count to keep the match going. Del Rio heads up top and goes for another double stomp, but Kalisto evades contact. Kalisto goes for Salida del Sol out of the corner, but Del Rio blocks, but Kalisto whips Del Rio into the corner and catches him with a rollup on the rebound for the three count.

Match Result: Kalisto defeats Alberto Del Rio two falls to one.
Match Length: 15:07
Slimmer’s Rating: ***¼ – Great match by Kickoff Show standards.

Divas Tag Team Match
Becky Lynch & Sasha Banks vs. Naomi & Tamina

Becky and Sasha start by arguing about who is going to start the match, but Naomi makes the decision for them. Naomi whips Sasha to the corner and bounces her head off the top turnbuckle, but Sasha escapes and makes the tag to Becky. Becky hits a leg drop, an elbow drop, and another leg drop to Naomi, but Naomi gets back to her feet and makes the tag to Tamina. Tamina works over Becky in the corner before making the tag back to Naomi. Naomi hits a rapid fire volley of kicks, but Becky counter with the Bex-plex and sends Naomi out of the ring. Becky retrieves Naomi and takes her up top, but Naomi dumps Becky gut-first onto the top turnbuckle. Becky tumbles to the outside and barely beats the count back into the ring. Naomi tags Tamina, and Tamina locks in a seated rear chin lock. Tamina whips Becky to the corner and then slams her to the mat. Naomi gets the tag and hits a standing leg drop for a two count. Naomi locks in a rear chin lock of her own before making the tag back to Tamina. Tamina drives Becky into the corner and goes for a scoop slam, but Becky floats over and dives to the corner to make the tag, but Naomi pulls Sasha off the apron to prevent the tag. Tamina sends Becky out of the ring, and Naomi works her over on the outside while Tamina distracts the referee in the ring. Tamina drags Becky back into the ring and tags Naomi. Naomi lands an uppercut but eats a high elbow. Naomi goes for a crossbody, but Becky low bridges the top rope and sends Naomi to the outside. That gives Becky the time she needs to FINALLY make the hot tag to Sasha. Naomi charges back into the ring but eats double knees from Sasha. Sasha hits a modified Backstabber out of the corner and goes for the Bank Statement, but Tamina pulls Sasha out of the ring. Sasha breaks free and heads back into the ring, but Naomi catches her with the Rear View for a two count. Tamina gets the tag and hits a super kick, but Becky breaks up the pin. Tamina and Naomi go for a double suplex, but Sasha floats over. Becky hits a double missile drop kick off the top, and Sasha locks in the Bank Statement on Tamina. Naomi tries to break up the pin, but Becky locks her up in the Dis-arm-her. With Naomi unable to make the save, Tamina has no choice but to tap.

Match Result: Sasha Banks defeats Tamina with the Bank Statement.
Match Length: 12:00ish (stopwatch issues)
Slimmer’s Rating: **½

Intercontinental Championship Match
Kevin Owens (Champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler and Owens lock up to start, but Owens takes control with a head butt. Owens locks in a side head lock and wrenches on Ziggler’s neck, but Ziggler uses his amateur wrestling background to reverse into a rear chin lock. Owens fights out and locks in a front face lock, but Ziggler breaks free and hits a standing drop kick. Ziggler hits a big splash in the corner, but Owens whips Ziggler HARD into the opposite corner. Owens goes to work with the ground and pound before stomping on Ziggler’s chest. Owens hits a running senton and gets a two count. Owens goes back to the rear chin lock and drags Ziggler down to the mat, but Ziggler fights back to his feet and hits a jaw breaker to break the hold. Ziggler hits a swinging neck breaker, but Owens regains control with a running senton to Ziggler’s back for another two count. Owens goes right back to the rear chin lock, but Ziggler again fights back to his feet. Owens whips Ziggler to the corner and goes for the cannonball, but Ziggler slides out of the way, sending Owens tumbling between the ropes and to the outside. Owens charges back into the ring but eats a splash in the corner. Ziggler hits a neck breaker and a volley of standing elbow drops for a two count. Ziggler goes for a leaping DDT, but Owens catches him in mid-air and dumps him onto the top rope. Ziggler stumbles into the corner, and this time Owens connect with the cannonball. Owens goes for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Ziggler counters into a leaping DDT for a LOOONG two count. Ziggler takes Owens up top and goes for a superplex, but Owens counters into an avalanche fisherman’s suplex from the top. The action spills to the outside, and Ziggler connect with a super kick. Both men stumble back into the ring to beat the referee’s count, and Owens counters a Zig Zag into a super kick. Ziggler springs back to his feet faster that Owens expects and catches Owens with a super kick of his own. Owens rolls out of the ring and pulls Ziggler to the outside with him. Owens tries to powerbomb Ziggler on to the ring apron, but Ziggler counters into a hurricanrana that sends Owens head-first into the ring steps. Both men head back into the ring, and Ziggler catches Owens with the Fameasser for another long two count. Ziggler tunes up the band and goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Owens counters into the Pop-Up Powerbomb for the three count.

Match Result: Kevin Owens defeats Dolph Ziggler with the Pop-Up Powerbomb.
Match Length: 15:05
Slimmer’s Rating: ***¾

Six-Man Tag Team Match
Ryback, Big Show & Kane vs. The Wyatt Family

It’ll be Harper, Rowan, and Strowman for the Wyatt Family, with Bray Wyatt seated at ringside. Ryback and Rowan start the match, because alliteration is fun. Ryback muscles Rowan to the corner and drives his shoulder into Rowan’s gut. Ryback hits a shoulder tackle off the second rope and makes the tag to Show. Show traps Rowan in the corner and chops his chest before stomping him down to the mat. Show makes the tag back to Ryback, but Rowan catches Ryback with a clothesline to take control for the first time. Harper gets the tag and tries to whip Ryback to the corner, but Ryback reverses. Ryback hits a splash in the corner, but Harper catches Ryback with a drop kick and makes the tag to Strowman. Strowman works over Ryback in the corner and makes the quick tag to Rowan. Rowan goes for a suplex, but Ryback blocks and counters into a suplex of his own. Kane gest the tag and hits a running DDT to Rowan. Kane connects with a low big boot but only gets a two count. Kane lands a clothesline in the corner, but Rowan creates enough distance to tag Strowman. Strowman continues the assault on Kane before tagging Harper. Harper drives his shoulder into Kane’s gut in the corner and follows up with a snap mare takedown. Strowman gets the tag and once again works over Kane in the corner. Kane finally connects with a back elbow drop and ducks a big boot to send Strowman tumbling to the outside. Ryback gets the hot tag as Harper gets the tag from Strowman. Ryback hits a volley of high knees in the corner and follows up with five straight scoop slams. Ryback hits a running power slam and goes for the cover, but Rowan breaks up the pin. Kane takes out Rowan, Strowman takes out Kane, Show takes out Strowman, and Show tosses Harper over the top rope onto both Rowan and Strowman. Show spears Strowman on the outside, but Harper catches Ryback with a super kick back in the ring. Kane briefly distracts Harper by attacking Bray Wyatt on the outside, and that gives Ryback time to hit Shell Shocked for the three count.

Match Result: Ryback defeats Luke Harper with Shell Shocked.
Match Length: 10:30
Slimmer’s Rating: **¾

Divas Championship Match
Charlotte (Champion) w/ Ric Flair vs. Brie Bella

Brie is wearing Daniel’s WM 30 kick pads for this match. Brie quickly ties up Charlotte in the ropes, so the referee pulls them apart. Brie gets the best of a test of strength and locks in a key lock on the mat. Charlotte reverses into a head scissors, but Brie gets back to her feet and hits a fireman’s carry takedown into an arm bar. Charlotte connects with a running high knee, but Brie counters a hip toss into an arm drag. Brie does the Flair Strut to mock Ric and follows up with a face buster. Charlotte fights back and goes for an Alabama Slamma, but Brie rolls through into a sunset flip for a two count. Charlotte locks in a standing bow-and-arrow with her boot right in the back of Brie’s neck. Brie gets back to her feet and gets a hella sloppy crucifix pin for a two count. Brie locks in a sleeper, but Charlotte drops to the mat to break the hold. Charlotte locks in the head scissors, rolls, and pounds Brie’s head into the mat. Brie ducks a big boot and hits a running knee. Brie goes to work with forearm shots and gets a long two count. Charlotte fights back with Flair chops and hits a neck breaker, but Brie rolls up Charlotte for a two count. Charlotte goes for the Figure Eight, but Brie kicks Charlotte to the outside. Brie connects with a drop kick between the ropes to the outside. Brie rolls Charlotte back into the ring, heads up top, and hits a top rope missile drop kick. Charlotte is down, but Brie is selling a leg injury after the drop kick. Brie hits a volley of Yes kicks and a sit-out facebuster for a LOOONG two count. Charlotte again goes for the Figure Eight, but Brie counters into the Yes Lock. Charlotte tries to count, but Brie transitions into a single-leg crab. Charlotte refuses to tap and is finally able to kick Brie to the ropes. Charlottes catches Brie in the Figure Eight on the rebound, and Brie has no choice but to tap.

Match Result: Charlotte defeats Brie Bella with the Figure Eight.
Match Length: 12:29
Slimmer’s Rating: **¼

Singles Match
AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Styles and Jericho lock up to start but quickly break. Jericho catches Styles in a rear waist lock before transitioning to a rear hammer lock, but Styles rolls up Jericho for a quick one count. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Styles counters into the Calf Crusher, but Jericho rolls out of the ring to escape. Jericho charges back into the ring but eats a knee drop from Styles for a two count. Styles and Jericho trade forearm shots in the middle of the ring, but Jericho creates distance and lands a clothesline from the top. Styles hits a flipping drop kick and charges at Jericho, but Jericho catches him with a huge back body drop. Styles rolls to the outside, but Jericho connects with a baseball slide. Jericho whips Styles into the barricade before rolling him back into the ring and heading up top. Jericho catches Styles with a top rope flying crossbody but only gets a two count. Jericho heads to the outside to catch a breather and Styles flies over the top rope, but Jericho catches Styles with a drop kick in mid-air. Jericho drags Styles back into the ring and locks in a rear chin lock. Styles regains control and hits a springboard back flip side Russian leg sweep, although I’m not sure if that’s what he originally intended for it to be. Jericho tries to catch Styles in the walls, but Styles rolls through. Styles hits a sit-out facebuster but eats a stiff back elbow shot from Jericho. Jericho follows up with the Lionsault but only gets a two count. Jericho hits a clothesline in the corner and takes Styles up top. Jericho set up for a superplex, but Styles slips through his legs to escape. Styles goes for a springboard forearm shot, but Jericho counters with a springboard drop kick that connects in mid-air. That took amazing timing from both guys. Styles counters a suplex from Jericho, and Jericho counters a suplex from Styles. Styles lands a forearm shot and takes Jericho up top. Jericho slaps Styles, but Styles retaliates into a Pele kick to Jericho up top. Styles heads up and goes for a hurricanrana from the top, but Jericho grabs Style’s legs to counter. Jericho tries to jump down into the Walls of Jericho, but Styles lands right on the back of his neck. Damn, that was ugly. Jericho does then lock in the Walls, but Styles makes it to the ropes. Jericho tosses Styles of the ring and locks in a Liontamer on the outside. Jericho drags Styles back into the ring and works him over in the corner. Styles fights back with a boot to the chest, but Styles rolls through a double underhook powerbomb into the Styles Clash. Styles makes the cover but only gets a two count. Styles locks in the Calf Crusher, and Jericho has no choice but to tap. After the match, Jericho shakes Styles’ hand in a show of respect.

Match Result: AJ Styles defeats Chris Jericho with the Calf Crusher.
Match Length: 16:31
Slimmer’s Rating: ***¾

The Cutting Edge Peep Show

Edge & Christian make their way down to the ring for the Cutting Edge Peep Show. Before the New Day come out, they need to do a little shameless self-promotion. Right after Fastlane is the debut of the Edge and Christian Show That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness. Edge does want to be serious for a moment (which he says is probably upsetting Lance Storm), but Edge wants to say how great it is to be home in WWE. Christian begins to talk about how special this arena is to him and Edge, but suddenly they’re interrupted by the New Day. New Day say that nobody cares what Christian has to say, because it’s out with the old and in with the… New Day. Woods says that history has shown that the New Day can do whatever they want. Well Christian also wants to about history. When New Day first came on the scene, they were all about positivity, and nobody cared. But then something happened… they watched every Edge & Christian promo and copied them all. Edge says that if he and Christian had a three-way with Beyonce, the kids would be New Day. Kofi wants E&C to understand that New Day aren’t rip offs of E&C, they’re better than E&C. In fact, they’re better than everyone. Better than the Ascension, better than the Usos, better than the Dudleyz, and better than the League of Nations. E&C skillfully goad New Day into talking trash about the League, and that brings all four members of the League to the ring. The New Day think better of the situation and head to the back, but now the League have turned their attention to E&C. Del Rio reminds Edge that he’s the one that ended Edge’s career five years ago. E&C head up the ramp to avoid a beatdown, but they stop on the way to call the League the International House of Dumbasses. E&C join the New Day to continue taunting the League from the safety of the top of the ramp.

Impromptu Match
R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel w/ The Social Outcasts

Truth leap frogs Axel and hits a huge hip toss that sends Axel across the ring. Truth traps Axel in the corner and goes to work with mounted punches. Dallas cheap shots Truth as Slater and Rose distract the referee. The numbers are clearly not on Truth’s side, but Goldust heads down to the ring to even the odds. Goldust sends Slater into the barricade and whips Rose into the ring. Truth has to jump over Rose to avoid falling, and that lets Axel roll him up for a three count. No part of this needed to happen on PPV.

Match Result: Curtis Axel defeats R-Truth with a rollup.
Match Length: 2:14
Slimmer’s Rating: ½*

Triple Threat Number One Contender’s Match
Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman

Lesnar goes right after Ambrose to start and knocks Ambrose out of the ring. GERMAN SUPLEX TO REIGNS! WELCOME TO SUPLEX CITY! Lesnar works over Reigns in the corner, but Ambrose makes the save. GERMAN #2 to Reigns. Ambrose drives Lesnar into the corner, but Lesnar fights back to the middle of the ring. Ambrose goes for a German on Lesnar, but that doesn’t work out well for him. Lesnar hits Ambrose with a belly-to-belly suplex, but Reigns pulls Lesnar out of the ring. Lesnar whips Reigns into the barricade and catches Ambrose in mid-air when Ambrose goes for a suicide dive. Lesnar gives Ambrose another belly-to-belly suplex on the outside and then drags Reigns back into the ring. GERMAN #3 and GERMAN #4 to Reigns. Lesnar hits the F5 and makes the cover, but Ambrose makes the save. Ambrose slaps Lesnar right across the face, and that’s enough for GERMAN #1 to Ambrose. GERMAN #2 and GERMAN #3 to Ambrose. Lesnar sets up Ambrose for the F5, but Reigns catches Lesnar with a spear for a two count. Reigns connects with a Superman punch to Lesnar, but Lesnar rolls out of the ring. Reigns launches himself off the ring steps toward Lesnar on the outside, but Lesnar catches him in mid-air. Lesnar goes for an F5 through the announce table, but Ambrose low blows Lesnar from behind (no DQ in a triple threat match). Ambrose and Reigns set up the announce table for some carnage and then give Lesnar the Shield Powerbomb through the announce table. It’s down to Ambrose and Reigns, and Ambrose goes on the offensive first. Ambrose whips Reigns into the ring steps before rolling him back into the ring. Ambrose hits the running bulldog and a clothesline off the top for a two count. Ambrose goes for a neck breaker, but Reigns counters. Ambrose and Reigns slug it out in the middle of the ring, but Reigns lands a big boot. Lesnar gets back to his feet on the outside, so Reigns and Ambrose head to the outside and whip Lesnar into the barricade. Ambrose and Reigns set up a second announce table and deliver a second Shield Powerbomb through it. Ambrose and Reigns bury Lesnar under the wreckage of the table in hopes of finally keeping him down. Reigns turns his attention to Ambrose and rolls him into the ring. Reigns traps Ambrose in the corner and punches him down to the mat. Reigns hits a modified sunset flip and then takes Ambrose up top. Ambrose flies off the second rope at Reigns, but Reigns catches him with a standing Superman punch. Ambrose posts Reigns in the corner and follows up with Dirty Deeds for a LOOONG two count. Ambrose gets to his feet first and goes for a second Dirty Deeds, but Reigns lifts Ambrose for a Samoan Drop, but LESNAR STORMS INTO THE RING AND GERMAN SUPLEXES BOTH MEN. That man truly isn’t human. Ambrose rolls out of the ring, but Reigns gets back to his feet and spears Lesnar, but Lesnar grabs an arm and locks in the Kimura. Reigns gets his feet under him and lifts Lesnar, but Ambrose attacks both men with a steel chair (again, no DQ in a triple threat match). Ambrose beats Lesnar out of the ring with a volley of chair shots, but he turns and eats a spear from Reigns for the three count.

Match Result: Roman Reigns defeats Dean Ambrose with a spear.
Match Length: 16:04
Slimmer’s Rating: ****

After the match, Triple H comes down to the ring with the WWE World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder. Reigns and Triple H circle each other in the middle of the ring.