411’s WWE Over the Limit Report 05.23.10

Hey yo. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 411’s LIVE coverage of WWE Over The Limit. I’d like to start by congratulating 411’s longest-tenured wrestling zone writer, Stephen Randle, on his wedding today. May you know many more years of happiness than Kane and Lita did. And now, in honour of the newly-minted Mrs. Randle, allow me to introduce our guest host…

Hey Raggy! I’m a Chain Gang Soldier! Ruh Roh!

Welcome one and all! I’m not sure what to make of tonight’s card, but I’m fairly sure we’ll have some fun with it! Who you got?

Now that I think about it, did we ever find out how this PPV was “a revolutionary concept in sports entertainment” or whatever they were billing it as?

Striker and Lawler are hosting with Daniel Bryan’s best friend. Here! We! Go!

IC Title Match: Drew McIntyre © vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is out first and we see the clips leading up to this match. Drew and his awesome entrance and music clock in tonight at 1:43. Seriously, I need that song and the entrance is truly awesome.

Kofi starts with a series of kicks, a drop kick and a clothesline to send Drew to the floor. TOPE to the outside! Drew fights back with some rights, but back inside Kofi hits a corner splash and another clothesline. Drew goes to the apron and suckers Kofi in, then sends him into the cornerpost. Drew runs Kofi’s back into the apron, then throws him inside. Corner beatdown by the Scotsman. Not that Scotsman. Cover gets 1. Seated abdominal stretch by Drew, Kofi gets to his feet and hip tosses out of it. Shots to the ribs by Kofi, a whip is reversed and Kofi tries to go up and over a charging Drew but lands on Drew’s boot. Mounted punches by Drew, he goes to the second rope and lands on Kofi’s feet. Forearms by Kofi, RVD style. Which is to say they look soft. Drop kick followed by the leap and the corner punches. Drew kicks Kofi off then tries to launch him into the turnbuckles, Kofi botches the landing on the turnbuckle but rescues it by kicking Drew in the face and hitting a HIGH crossbody from the top for two. Gutbuster by Drew gets 2. Drew tries to run Kofi into the post but Kofi reverses and then kicks a field goal into Drew’s ribs. Drew is draped across the bottom rope in the corner…BOOM DROP! 1…2…no. Nice spot. Kofi wants Trouble…misses! Kobashi DDT…COUNTERED! SOS…NAILED! 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Kofi Kingston at 7:50 via pinfall (SOS)

He absolutely NAILED that SOS. Beautifully done.

Drew McIntyre summons Teddy Long, and says the PPV will stop until Teddy reverses the decision and declares Drew the IC champion. WOAH YEEEEEAH! Matt Hardy is out! He Twists Drew’s Fate! However he has left Drew in the ring. So ummm…how does that help?

CM Punk is backstage talking to a mirror. No, really. Gallows and Serena are reciting his name every time Punk says something. He says Rey is joining them tonight, they all hug and we cut to a monorail. Monorail! Monorail! Hey, it put Ogdenville and North Haverbrook on the map!

WHAT’S UP?

Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth

I always thought Truth and Burchill should have been a team. Arrrrrr, Truth. DiBiase is accompanied by Wrestling Superstar…VIRGIL! This is pure gold.

Truth starts on the arm of DiBiase. He makes the ropes, they lock up and Truth goes back to the arm. Truth does some more juking and jiving and hits a big leg lariat, then clotheslines DiBiase to the floor. Virgil comes over for the distract but Truth smells it coming and cuts off the attack. Back inside and Virgil distracts Truth again, allowing DiBiase to hit a neckbreaker. He tosses Truth HARD to the floor. DiBiase follows, rams Truth’s back into the barricade and then rolls him back in. Flapjack from DiBiase connects for 2. Beatdown in the corner now. Cole mentions that DiBiase paid off “a couple guys” to take out R-Truth, but won’t name names. Excellent. Truth tries to fight back but DiBiase catches him unawares with a clothesline for 2. Chinlock by DiBiase, Truth tries to fight out and gets nailed with a back suplex for 2. From the second DiBiase…into a shot to the gut from Truth! Truth perches DiBiase up top, asks Detroit “What’s up?” and tries a superplex. DiBiase pushes him off and stands up on the top rope…and gets crotched. Clotheslines and a hip toss from Truth, Flatliner connects! 1…2…no. Axe kick misses…ELECTRIC CHAIR by DiBiase! 1…2…no! Truth ducks under a shot and tries…some sort of hold, but DiBiase makes the ropes. WHAT THE…OSAKA STREET CUTTER by Truth! Suplex lift into a Stunner, haven’t seen that outside Japan in YEARS. It gets two only, but DAMN. Lie Detector connects! 1…2…3!!

Winner: R-Truth at 7:40 via pinfall (Lie Detector)

Drew McIntyre barges into Teddy long’s office and demands that Teddy reverse the decision and fire Matt Hardy. Teddy declines, so Drew beats up the office. He thinks about beating up the picture of Martin Luther King, Teddy begs him not to so Drew leaves it and says he’s more like Dr. King than Teddy will ever be. Ummm…yeah.

Video package for Punk-Rey. Speaking of video, I hope Mr and Mrs Randle aren’t making one right now. That should never see the light of day.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk If Rey Loses, He Joins The Straight Edge Society. If Punk Loses, He Gets His Head Shaved

Punk is out solo. “I refer to them as lemmings” says Cole. “Isn’t he in Motorhead?” asks Striker. Rey is in yellow tonight, or Rey lleva amarillo esta noche for our Latino readers.

Punk gets the kick to the gut early and then kicks the crap out of Rey in the corner. Rey fights back with right hands but Punk slips away and hits a couple of stiff shots to the spine. Punk drops his head and gets kicked but then backdrops a charging Rey to the floor. Ouch. Punk tries the slingshot crossbody to the floor…MISSES! Rey dives through the ropes with a headscissors, sending Punk’s head into the barricade. They fight by the barber’s chair, Rey has the upper hand and tosses Punk inside. Springboard headscissors, 619 position! Punk counters with a knee and LAUNCHES Rey through the ropes HEAD FIRST into the barber’s chair!!! OUCH he hit that like a dart! Oh man that looked worse in slow mo. Oh FOR FUCK’S SAKE Punk is bleeding from the skull so the ref stops the bout and has a towel to Punk’s head. They call for the ringside medic. Detroit is SHITTING all over this and Striker is following suit. On the floor Rey is favouring his right arm and is slowly getting into the ring to stall for time. This is so fucking stupid. “Boring!” chant. Suddenly Punk jumps to his feet and hits a basement dropkick to send Rey to the floor. He follows him out, launches Rey into the barricade and suplexes him on the floor. Back inside and Punk gets 2. Figure four headscissors now by Punk. The heat between Lawler and Striker is getting pretty noticeable. Rey tries to fight back and gets a quick rollup but then gets his head removed by a clothesline. That gets 2. Punk drops forearms across the back and chest of Rey as he recites the Straight Edge Pledge. Muay Thai knees by Punk, he whips Rey in and charges into a boot. CODE RED by Rey! 1…2…no! They exchange shots, Punk misses a haymaker and Rey hits a springboard crossbody for 2. Knee to the head by Rey. Springboard La Silla and a Frankensteiner get 2 more. Rey tries again for a rana but Punk uses the momentum to launch Rey overhead and into the top turnbuckle. High knee in the corner! Rey comes out and gets Punk in 619 position…Punk is up and gets a knee…WELCOME TO CHICAGO MUFUGGA! 1…2…NO! Punk goes for the GTS, Rey counters and tries a rana but Punk holds on! BUCKLE BOMB! Top rope bulldog by Punk! 1…2…no! Forearms by Punk, STIFF head kick! 1…2…2.7! Lawler says we’ll need a Black & Decker weed whacker to get rid of the chest hair. Rey gets a knee, Punk counters into GTS…Rey slips out! Dropkick to the back…SEIS! UNO! NUEVE!!! Rey with the springboard splash…MISSES! Rey with the quick rollup! 1…2…3!!!!!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio via pinfall at 14:20 (rollup)

As Punk looks stunned and bleeds from his head, Rey is blitzed from behind by Joey, err the mystery man. Gallows has handcuffs…KANE! He takes out Gallows, throws mystery man to the floor and chokeslams Punk! Kane and Gallows fight their way up the ramp and Rey has handcuffed Punk to the ropes! 619 to the face!!! Another set of cuffs, and Punk is stuck! HERE COME THE CLIPPERS! Needs more Ed Leslie. I hope they aren’t LA Clippers, they’ll suck if they are. Rey shaves the bleeding Punk and Vince must be losing his shit. Bad time to bleed. Which also goes for Mr. and Mrs. Randle, funnily enough. Rey has done a real hatchet job on Punk’s hair. “Shave his chest!” – Detroit. Rey has a handful of Punk’s hair as he heads up the ramp. He returns with a mirror and Punk has a shit fit when he sees himself.

Big Show is preparing backstage when Jericho drops by to thank him. He says neither he nor Miz needed Show, and now that they’ve trimmed the fat, they will go all the way. Show brushes them off and makes with the funny.

Cole tells us the PPV is brought to us by Prince of Perza. Seriously, fuck Michael Cole.

Unified Tag Team Title Match: The Miz and Chris Jericho vs. The Hart Dynasty ©

Awww, no mashup theme for the challengers. Somewhere in midwest America, Ryan Byers is happy.

Miz and Kidd to start. Miz with the quick boot and some stomping to gain control. Kidd slides out the back of the scoop slam, hits a snap mare and lays in a series of kicks to the back and chest of Miz. Tag to Smith, delayed vertical gets 1. Miz rolls to the floor, Jericho comes in but gets backdropped to the floor. Smith military presses Kidd over the top and to the floor on top of both heels. Kidd is somehow the legal man again but gets backed into the wrong corner. Jericho tags in to a huge “Y2J” chant and tries a back body drop…Kidd lands on his feet and kicks Jericho silly. Tag to Smith, Kidd with the drop toehold and Smith drops the leg over his neck. 2 count only. Whip by Smith, Jericho gets a boot to his face and then a missile dropkick. Basement dropkick sends Smith to the floor. Back inside Jericho gets a back suplex for two. Chinlock applied by Jericho. Smith fights out and gets a side suplex. Miz tags in and cuts Smith off from the tag, then lays in some stiff crossfaces to the baby Bulldog. Running kick to the face by Miz gets 2. Smith gets an electric chair on Miz! Both men are down…hot tag! Kidd with an elbow, a pair of dropkicks, a kick to the cut and a low dropkick to the head! He slide-kicks Miz’s feet out on the apron and gets a sweet rollup for 2. Jericho counters the next move to the Walls! Kidd makes the ropes, then kicks Jericho in the head from the apron! Springboard CODEBREAKER! Both men are down. Perfect timing there by both men. Jericho rolls over for the cover! 1…2…NO! Jericho argues with the ref, yells at Kidd to stay down then gets kicked in the temple. Tag to smith! Clotheslines for everyone! He is a house! En! FUEGO~! Belly to belly throw to Jericho! POWERSLAM! 1…2…NO! Fucking Cole calls it a scoop slam. He tries the running powerslam, Jericho slips out the back! Small package by Jericho! 1…2…no! Miz argues with the ref, Jericho gets tripped by Natalya! RUNNING POWERSLAM! 1…2…2.8!!! Whip, Miz makes the blind tag and hits the inverted DDT backbreaker into a neckbreaker! 1…2…NO! Wow, this match is picking up. Miz tries a Sharpshooter, small package by Smith! 1…2…NO! Miz tries the Skull-Crushing Finale…no! Smith pushes him into Jericho! Rollup! 1…2…NO! Miz rolls through! 1…2…NO! Superkick by Miz (!!), he hits his corner clothesline…Smith holds on to him, tag to Kidd…HART ATTACK! 1…2…3!!!

Winners: Hart Dynasty via pinfall at 11:23 (Kidd on Miz, Hart Attack)

Video package for the Rated RKO Explosion.

Grudge Match: Randy Orton vs. Edge

This PPV is really moving, much like the bedsheets in the hotel room of Mr. & Mrs. Randle. Good on ya, buddy. MASSIVE pop for Orton. Like, huge. It doesn’t last though. Orton’s entrance clocks in at 2:07, with no Taker on the card he wins!

Orton gets a whip and a clothesline, then lays the stomps to Edge. HIGH knee drop. Orton tangles Edge in the ropes and beats him up, and the crowd has gone quieter than Lindsay Lohan’s career. Orton kicks Edge in the chest and he bails to the floor. Edge suckers him in and throws him to the barricade, then drops him gut-first over it. Edge rolls in to break the count, rolls out and rolls Orton back in. 2 count for Edge. Orton is favouring his left arm. Edge ignores it and stomps on the midsection. Orton kicks his way out of the corner but Edge knees him in the gut and locks in the body scissors. Orton tries to elbow free but that baby is locked in tight. Orton finally manages to get free but Edge kicks him in the gut then drapes him over the top rope gut-first. Edge goes to the top, Orton cuts him off. Orton goes up with him now and tries a superplex…Edge blocks…headbutt sends Orton to the mat but Orton crotches Edge. SUPERPLEX! Orton and Edge exchange right hands, Orton wins the exchange with a clothesline. Snap powerslam by Orton! 1…2…No. IT IS NOT A FUCKING SCOOP SLAM! Edge cuts off the momentum of Orton and tries to spear Orton off the apron…he runs into Orton’s knee! Rope-assisted DDT by Orton! 1…2…rope! Edge goes to the floor, Orton drags him to the apron but gets his neck snapped over the top. Edge wants a Spear (as does Mrs Randle…), Orton wants a kick! He wants the RKO…Orton seems to have hurt his right arm while pounding the canvas. That’s sad. If he injured himself pounding the mat I will die laughing. Orton kicks Edge to the floor, he follows and we hear the ref whisper something to the timekeeper. We hear a VERY loud count from the ref as both men fight on the floor, so I guess we’re getting a double count-out. Edge measures for a Spear on the floor, Orton moves, Edge spears the barricade and there’s the 10 count. Sad ending but the injury necessitated a quick finish. Looks like something with his forearm.

Winner: Nobody via double countout at 13:25

Injuring yourself while pounding the mat?

I’m laughing. A lot. Video package for Big Show vs Jack Swagger.

World Title Match: Jack Swagger © vs. The Big Show

Champ’s out first, I hate that. Also, he is no longer the special ed gorilla. This makes me sad.

Swagger looks for the technical takedown, which just isn’t gonna work. Lawler keeps interrupting Striker, it’s sad really. Swagger tries a go behind, Show reverses and gets a waistlock takedown! SHOW DOES PUSHUPS! Swagger gets made and runs into pain. Shhhhhhh…CHOP. And again. Show walks on the back of Swagger a couple times. Whip by Show, GOOZLE! Swagger escapes and bails to the floor. Swagger comes back in, ducks a right and SPEARS the thigh area of Show! And again! A pair of running Vader splashes get 2…Show kicks out by throwing Swagger to the floor. Facelock by Swagger, Show just throws him off and crushes him in the corner. Show wants the chokeslam…goozle! Swagger kicks the leg but Show just throws him to the floor, so Swagger gets the belt and clocks Show with it.

Not Impressed Kid is not impressed

Winner: Big Show via DQ (belt shot)

Swagger gets a chair and lays into to Show, who no sells a couple of big chair shots and chokeslams Swagger. CHAIR SHOT by Show BENDS THE CHAIR over Swagger. Chokeslam to the chair! KO PUNCH! Swagger is helped from the ring, but still has the belt.

Josh Matthews is with Batista. He says he’s going to make Cena scream I Quit again. Randle is making his wife scream something, I bet.

WWE Divas Title Match: Eve © vs. Maryse

Maryse has had some hair extensions put in. They look ridiculous. Eve is out with the belt, and that looks ridiculouser. It is so a word, because I say so.

Maryse kicks Eve in the shins then throws her to the corner shoulder-first. Stomps by Maryse and a quick pin gets 1. Camel clutch locked in, FACK HER ASS, MAKE HER HUMBELL! Eve is able to get free but Maryse knocks her back down. Maryse stretches Eve in the ropes and knocks her to the floor, then does her hot little hair flick. Maryse tries to kick Eve in the head but KICKS THE POST instead! Damn. Back inside Eve gets a dropkick, Maryse slaps her in the face but Eve throws her down and hits a standing moonsault (!!!) for 2. Sunset flip by Eve gets one, Maryse gets both boots up and into the face of Eve. “DO YOUR FRIGGING JOB!” – Maryse, to the ref. AWESOME! Eve lays in the knees, the ref breaks them up and Maryse charges…Eve catches her and hits a Flatliner! 1…2…no! Big kick by Eve, she goes for the running senton…KNEES! Maryse finds that amusing. French Kiss coming…REVERSED! Kick to the gut by Eve, she straddles Maryse’s head and jumps, planting Maryse’s face into the mat! I’m calling that the Eve ‘n’ Flow. 1…2…3!!

Winner: Eve via pinfall (Eve ‘n’ Flow). Forgot to time that one, sorry.

Video package for the main event.

WWE Title I Quit Match: John Cena © vs. Batista

I wonder if Cena will dislocate his elbow telling Batista that he can’t see him. Super special ring announcing for this one.

Batista gets on the mic right away and says that Cena knows he’s capable of making Cena quit, so he’s giving the champ one chance to quit now before a world of pain starts. Cena thinks about it, then waffles Batista in the head with the mic. We’re on the floor already, Cena swings and misses with the chair, strike one. Clothesline by Batista on the inside, STRONG whip and Cena crumples. Cena has never tapped, apparently. Snap mare and a running boot by Batista. Cena is asked and says no. Rabbit punch by Batista. Cena tries to fight back but eats an elbow. Batista throws Cena into the corner, he is asked and says no. Batista kicks him off the apron to the floor and rams him into the barricade. Back inside, Batista gets a suplex. Duelling chants already. Cena fights back with a pair of flying shoulder and the Protoplex. You can’t see him1 Five-knuckle shuffle! Attitude Adjustment attempt, Batista fights it off and pulls the ref between him and Cena, then pounces with a Spear! RINGS OF SATURN! FUCKING A! Well, Rings of Saturn with crossface attachment. Cena stands with Batista on his shoulders!!!! He drops him then locks in the STF!!! Batista makes the ropes…and it doesn’t matter! Cena releases the hold, the ref asks Batista if he wants to quit but Batista is out. Apparently that means the match is not over, so Cena fetches a bottle of water and wakes up Batista. He is asked again and says no. Cena charges…SPINEBUSTER by Batista!!! BATISTA BOMB! Cena says no. Batista demolishes the Spanish announce table, then the English one. He drags Cena out of the ring, and this can’t end well. “Do you have any idea what his intentions are?” – Lawler. “To make Cena say I Quit.” – Striker. Batista tries for a Batista Bomb from one table to another…countered! Attitude Adjustment! COUNTERED! POWERSLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Cena is bleeding, which brings out the medic. While he is being patched up Cena says no. “Come back later, he’s gonna need you.” – Batista, to the medic. Batista throws Cena over the barricade and into the crowd. Oh good, a crowd brawl. They go up some steps and Batista slams Cena into a brick wall. They are up on some sort of balcony now, Batista gives him the option of quitting or he will throw him over the rail. Cena says no, Batista goes for the Batista Bomb over the rail!! He has him up…Cena fights out! He gets Batista over the rail, he’s holding on…he falls! The ref asks him, he says no. They head back down the steps and to the entrance ramp, Cena is in control. Batista finds a chair and jabs Cena in the ribs repeatedly, now he’s in control. Chair shots to the back now. Cena says no again so Batista hits him once more then gets in one of the cars on the stage…and BACKS IT INTO CENA! Cos, you know, the keys just happened to be in it. CENA IS UP! He drags Batista out of the car then bounces his head off the hood, Attitude Adjustment on the hood! Batista won’t quit, so Cena takes him to the roof off the car…Attitude Adjustment coming! BATISTA QUITS before Cena can drop him! The bell rings and Cena throws him THROUGH THE STAGE anyway!!!

Winner: John Cena via fear at 19:00 (attempted Attitude Adjustment through the stage)

-As Cena celebrates, Sheamus makes an appearance to beat him down.