411’s WWE Raw Report 12.23.02

411’s WWE Raw Report 12.23.02
Live from the Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411 by Brad Jennette

WWE Opening Video w/ the usual creepy Bischoff picture.

WWE Raw Video

A “last week” video package of HHH and Steiner is shown. I’m stoked to say
the least.

Kane & RVD v. Three Minute Warning
Rosie and Kane start it off and Rosie takes control early. Rosie takes Kane
down with some hard rights. Jamal is tagged in but Kane is able to come back
and pound away on Jamal. Kane hits a big boot on Jamal and tags in RVD. RVD
climbs to the top on Kane launches him onto Jamal in a super bodypress. That
was pretty impressive I have to admit. RVD trys the cover but it only gets
2. Jamal gets dropped toeholded onto the middle turnbuckle and then hit with
a split legged moon sault by RVD. That also gets a 2. RVD goes off the ropes
but gets lowbridged by Rico. A nice and loud “Rico Sucks” chant starts up.
He is really over as a heel but is not used at all, its sickening. Rosie and
Jamal do their patented double team moves on RVD but only get 2. Rosie trys
to knock Kane off the apron but it only pisses him off. Kane climbs the top
rope and hits a flying clothesline even though he wasn’t tagged. Or was he?
Either way, RVD hits a staight kick on Jamal and rolling thunder for good
measure. Rosie gets clotheslined over the top rope and taken out by Kane.
Kane then hits a chokeslam on Jamal and RVD heads up top and hits the *****
star frog splash and the 1-2-3!
Winners: RVD & Kane

RVD does the thumbs while Kane does the fire pyros. Ummm just like last
week.

Jamal and Rosie get back in the ring and tease a breakup. Who cares?

Chief Morley heard a big rumor that HHH we be calling out Scott Steiner.
Spike Dudley walks in and gets to be squashed by Batista for his troubles.

Test v. D-Lo Brown
I guess D-Lo figured he would pull a page out of Mark Henry’s book and go
back to the “Who’s Fatter?” angle. Lord has he packed it back on already.
D-Lo talks some trash to Test but runs like a girl. Test follows him to the
outside but gets thrown into the stairs. Back in the ring Test gets crotched
on the ropes and pounded on by D-Lo. D-Lo. D-Lo misses the fat man moonsault
and Test hits the pumphandle slam for 2. D-Lo leavs the ring and stalks
Stacy. Test follows but gets slammed into the post. D-Lo rolls him in and
puts his feet on the ropes. THe ref, who is white, refuses to make the
count. D-Lo spits back “If I was white, you’d count!” D-Lo shoves the ref on
his ass for the DQ.
Winner: Test by DQ

RAW Retro: JR kissing Vince’s ass last year.

Bischoff and the Chief come out to and say that the Rumble will be 15 RAW
guys and 15 Smackdown guys. The winner will get a title shot at
Wrestlemania. Eric then shows F-View (that is still going on?) on the
Rawtron and it shows JR and King complaining about the Raw Retro. Eric makes
the main event JR and King vs a tag team of his choosing. Eric threats to
fire JR and King if they refuse. He also scares the hell out of me by saying
he would replace them with Tony Shavonie and Jessie Ventura. At least he
didn’t say Mongo or Arn Anderson.

Chris Nowinski v. The Hurricane
Funny bit: A sign across the area says “Harverd Sucks”. That is just so
funny I’m going to beat it into the ground. Harverd gets a powerbomb not
even a minute into the match but it doesn’t get the three? COME ON!
Hurricane comes back with a neckbreaker and clothesline. Hurricane heads up
top and hits the Buff Blockbuster for 2. Harverd comes back using heel
tactics and heads to the top. Maven runs down and distracts Harverd.
Hurricane hits the Shining Wizard for the 1-2-3!
Winner: Hurricane

Coach is backstage with HHH. HHH says he isn’t afraid of Scott Steiner. HHH
says he is going to call out Steiner later on tonight.

Batista v. Spike Dudley
Total squash. Batista hits both the spinebuster and the sitout powerbomb for
the 1-2-3.
Winner: Batista

Morley and Bischoff agree to face JR and King but my FAVORITE TAG TEAM
(except Bookerdust and Vitamin C ) Regal & Storm say they will do the job
for Eric. Do the job? Nevermind me, I am an idiot.

Next week show will be a year in review. I’m so happy.

Victoria, Molly & Ivory v. Trish Stratus, Jackie & Stacy
Everyone in the ring fighting to start and Stacy (and her legs) spinkicks
Molly for an early 2. Victoria comes in without a tag and suplexes Stacy for
2. Another funny bit, Trish bends over the top rope and someone take a
picture of her ass. Stacy is finally able to tag Jackie who hits Victoria
with a headscissors, but ended up getting beaten on. I’m too distracted to
follow this excitement! It ends when Trish bulldogs Ivory for the 1-2-3!
Winners- Trish Stratus, Jackie & Stacy

Steiner can’t wait for HHH to call him out. JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Goldust sees Jericho backstage. Jericho rips into Goldust AGAIN. Goldust IS
the weakest link….goodbye. Lord I am not funny.

RAW Tag Team Titles: Bookerdust v. Vitamin C
Goldust and Christian start off. Christian gets the early advantage but
Goldy comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline. Goldust tags Booker
who grabs an armbar and works the sidekick for 2. Jericho runs in but Booker
hammers him down. Booker hits a suplex on Jericho and sends him into the
corner. The champs pound away in heel fashion in the corner. Christian tries
to sneak up on Goldust but Dustin slingshots Christian into the corner onto
Jericho. Goldust hammers away in the corner some more but Christian hits the
cheapshot the 2nd time around. Jericho gets a dropkick to the back then
works the back over some more. Christian is tagged in and he gets a
backbreaker. Christian slaps on a chinlock but Goldust escapes. Goldust
almost tags but gets cut off. The heels continue their heelish ways with
double teams. Goldust eventually fights out of the corner and hit a
neckbreaker. HOT HOT HOT tag Booker who sidekicks Jericho and backdrops
Christian. Booker continues the hot streak by sidewalk slamming Jericho and
hitting a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER on Christian for 2. The heels go for the
double-team, but Booker noggin knocks them and Goldust clotheslines Jericho
over the top. SPINAROONIE! Booker with the axe kick for Christian gets a
dubious 2. Booker argues as we go to break.

We return with Jericho in control. Jericho is choking away on Booker.
Jericho slugs away but gets smacked with a sidekick. Goldust gets a false
tag and the heels double team Booker. Booker comes back but Christian
dropkicks him. Jericho unleashes the chops in the corner, but Booker fires
back with his own Harlem chops and gets a rollup out of the corner for two.
Jericho clubs him down again and Christian comes back in to hit the
chinlock. Booker charges and hits elbow but comes right back with a flapjack
and makes the real hot tag to Goldust. Goldy hits the Butt-Butt on Jericho
and starts using the right hands on both. Small package on Jericho gets 2.
The heels come back with double teams moves but Goldust ends up hitting a
DDT on both guys at the same time. A distracted ref allows for Shattered
Dreams for Christian. Goldust hits the Final Cut (powerslam) on Jericho for
2. Jericho reverses the Curtain Call into the Walls but Booker makes the
save before Goldust can tap. Jericho ducks the axe kick and Christian takes
Booker and himself out of the ring. Jericho rolls up Goldust with his feet
on the ropes 2. Jericho will the bulldog but the Lionsault misses and
Goldust rolls him up for the pin in a super match.
Winners: Bookerdust

RVD gives Kane Hungry Hungry Hippos for Christmas. Kane says he used to
torture squirrels in a basement with razor blades. Riiight. RVD knew he
should have gone with Chutes & Ladders. IDIOT!

HHH & Flair walk to the ring to CALL OUT STEINER!

HHH FINALLY calls out Scott Steiner. HHH says Steiner waited until he was
injured and beaten down to confront him last week. Steiner comes out and
takes the mic. Steiner wont give the mic back. HHH finally challenges him to
an arm wrestling match. Steiner wins about 4 times easily. Throwaway crap
here.

OKLAHOMA MAIN EVENT!: Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler v. William Regal & Lance Storm
Bischoff & Morley take over on commentary here. Lawler and Regal start and
Lawler gets hiptoss! Storm comes in and pounds away. Storm misses an
elbowdrop and gets dropkicked”by Lawler for 2. Regal runs in and the heels
take over. Regal USES THE KNEE for 2. Storm tagged back in and he gets a
flying forearm for 2. Lawler trys to make comeback and hits Regal with the
FISTDROP OF DEATH for 2 but the was knocked out earlier. Regal tries the
knux, but Lawler fights him away. Lawler gets beatdown. JR tags himself in
and steals the knux but he too gets beatdown. The Dudley Boyz run in and 3-D
Storm while the ref is still down and JR uses the knux on Regal for the
1-2-3!. At least JR didn’t do the J-O-B.
Winners: JR and King

Well, the tag titles match was awesome at least.

Have a Merry Christmas every one!

End of Show.