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411’s WWE RAW Reunion Report 7.22.19

July 22, 2019 | Posted by Tony Acero
RAW Reunion Stone Cold Steve Austin

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Daddy’s home, and he’s late as fuck! Let’s get to the show!

We start the show strong as hell with the music of John Cena!!! He’s hyped af, and says that he could not miss this. This is home, says Cena. He doesn’t mean because he lives in Florida. He means this right here. Is his home. He is eventually interrupted by The Usos the minute he says DAY ONE. Usos say what would make this even more lit is what the people want, and what they want is for The Usos and Cena to drop some rhymes…

Pretty sure no one asked for that.

Cena looks to leave the ring. The Usos say the people came to see The Dr., Who this is? That’s John Cena, the cat the left us for the movie biz.

Cena gets back in the ring.

Respect for calling me out, but int no way I’m getting bested
Y’all look just like your mug shots, how was it getting arrested?

Haha. Usos give a shout out to Hillsborough.

They ain’t done cuz….out comes RIKISHI!!!

Here comes the big man, lookin as Rikishi as ever.

Cena looks to leave, but Rikishi tells him to back that ass up and come back into the ring. Rikishi tells him that although he is the man, tonight, he can’t let Cena leave Fast and Furious without bustin a move.

They are just about to bust said move, but The Revival interrupt, and they’ve got some backup in the form of D-Von Dudley!

Backstage, Hogan is with Jimmy Hart talkin nonsense.

Y’all, I have the shittiest of feeds right now, so bare with me for a second.

Match 1: The Usos vs The Revival

Rikishi and D-Von are in the corners of each team. I’m sure you can figure out who goes where. Lockup with Dawson and…


Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating:

*Feed went out for the first match, but let’s assume it was a good time, Rikishi stink faced someone, and D-Von testified.

I finally find a good enough feed to see the horridness that is Alicia Fox talking. Thankfully, hot ass Kaitlyn comes in to talk about her hat, and they are interrupted by Torrie Wilson. Then, Santino comes up to say that his sister is under the weather. Alicia then asks about his little friend, and here he is. The Cobra loves the girls.

Drew McIntyre is here to spoil the fun. He walks away after scaring the others. Santino, hilariously, bulks up when Drew leaves.

Back to the show, and we get a recap of truth in a penguin costume at Comic-Con. He said the weather was iffy, and just as he does, The Hurricane is here! He suggests Truth stands back….then The Hurrican rolls up Truth, but only gets a 2 count. Hurricane bounces, and in comes a banana. It’s Drake Maverick, who rolls up Truth for a 2 count as well.

Truth said that had he known Penguins were second cousins to chickens, he would have gotten a different bird.

Here’s Drake Maverick’s hot ass wife. Her and Carmella get into it long enough for Drake to roll up Truth for the 1…2…3!!!

Our lovely interviewer stands stunned for seemingly ever until The Godfather comes in to talk like he’s got dentures.

Before Cedric can make it to the ring, Drew leaves it and gives Cedric a huge boot to the face. He sends Cedric to the post, but Cedric moves and Drew runs into it. Kick off the steps from Cedric. Moonsault off the top. He attacks Drew until Drew catches him and just tosses him into the barricade. Drew mounts and beats down Cedric with a bunch of right hands. One straight to the face. Drew sends Cedric into the barricade back first hard. He goes for the Alabama Slam, and he hits it! INTO THE APRON CHEST FIRST!!!!

Backstage, Drake is slinking around backstage. He enters a locker room and finds a box full of worms. The lights go red, and The Boogeyman is here! He scares the shit out of Drake, and he falls to the floor. The lights go back on, and Pat Patterson comes in with a referee!!! Pat stomps Drake out a bit then puts his foot on his chest! The ref counts! 1…..2…..3!!!!

Pat Patterson is your 24/7 WWE Champion.

CHRISTIAN! is here!!! He’s on commentary!

IN the ring, Lillian Garcia stands lookin all cute n shit.

The lights go out.

Here are The Viking Raiders.

Match 1: The Viking Raiders vs Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins

Ryder and Hawkins on the attack with some rights, but get shoved away. Double dropkick to Ibar, but Erik sends Hawkins to the outside. Ryder gets a knee to the face. Tag to Hawknis, and they double team. Cover for 1…NO! Tag to Ryder. Ryder in with a right to the side. Another to the head, then a club to the back. Hard right from Erik who tags in Ibar. Erik sends Ryder into the crotch of Ibar, who sits Ryder down hard. Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Snapmare and Ibar with a crossface swing to Ryder. Another across the nose. Tag to Erik. Body slam and Erik lifts Ibar then drops him onto Ryder with a body slam .Cover for 1..2..NO!! Tag from Ibar. Right hand and a punch. Ryder slinks off a hold and tags in Curt, who misses a right due to a cartwheel, then Ibar hits a hard right. Whip to Ryder into Erik. Splash in the corner to Hawkins from IBar. Erik lifts his partner and drops him into the corner. Ibar with a SUICIDE DIVE TO THE EDGEHEADS!

Tag to Erik,and we get The Viking Experience. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: The Viking Raiders
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Backstage, Kaitlyn is pretending to be ok with getting hit on by Jimmy Hart.

Mike K is talking to Eve….Maria comes up is ready to beat dat ass.

Mike introduces Eve…then Eric Bischoff!!!

Maria says Mike is supposed to be lotioning her up so she doesn’t get stretch marks. She is the bread winner. I see she uses Cocoa Butter by Palmer. Good move.

Ron Simmons comes in and grabs Hart’s megaphone.


Backstage, AJ and The Boys are waiting for their cue to speak. They have a new shirt and proclaim that they are THE OC. Anderson says they run RAW, not the old folks here trying to hold onto nostalgia, and not the current roster either. AJ Says he’ll beat Seth tonight, and if he gets up and wants some more, they should make a statement. They are the most dominant group in the WWE. Then, Now, and Forever is The OC. Too Sweet.

Backstage, Patterson is chillin on the floor, and here’s Briscoe who has apparently won the title. He walks away, touting the title. In comes Kelly Kelly to congratulate him. She then kicks his nuts and covers for 1..2…3!!!

Kelly Kelly is the champ and she still looks hot as fuck.

Joe heads down to the ring. He introduces himself to the crowd. He claims that there has been a vile atrocity here in the WWE. Tonight, we come together in celebration for the RAW reunion. We celebrate the longest running episodic television series today. Therein lies the problem; we shouldn’t be celebrating, because show like RAW REUNION are a plague to the WWE. Shows where they let us put on our rose-colored glasses and indulge our ridiculous addiction to nostalgia. Allow him to make his point. Tonight, we could have seen Samoa Joe wrecking shop on superstars left and right, do what he does best, painting in brutality, sculpting in violence, but instead, you got The Usos out here with they daddy spittin limericks at John Cena.

It’s embarrassing. He’s surprised they weren’t pandering more to us.

Roman Reigns interrupts to the cheers of only Michael Cole.

Reigns takes a half-Taker to get to the ring.

Reigns says if Joe has something to say about his family, say it.

Joe says he doesn’t have something to say, HE ALREADY SAID IT! Reigns says, since he’s from the same island, he knows what happens next.

Joe backs up, says yeah he does. But before they really get into it…BOOM, but nope! Reigns stops the hit and gets some rights. Joe with a rake of the eyes. He sends Reigns into the ringpost. Reigns favors the shoulder. Joe grabs Reigns on the outside and sends Reigns into the barricade. Joe screams at Reigns, then sends Reigns into the barricade again. Hard right from Joe. He starts in with the jabs. Headbutt to Reigns. Joe sends Reigns back into the ring. Joe with a right hand to the face. Joe with a kick. Joe with a headbutt, sending Reigns back ot the outside. Joe sends Reigns back into the ring yet again, then hops on the apron. Surprise SUPERMAN PUNCH!!! Joe tumbles to the floor. Joe looks to get in the. Ring, but considers it, and opts not to. He grabs a mic. Joe wants to know if Reigns is down to do it the right way. You think these people wanna see this tonight? Well too bad. He’s not doing a damned thing for these people.

Reigns apologizes. He says not all Samoans are cowards. Joe will tell them one thing; he’s going to put Reigns out permanently tonight. Reigns wants it. Joe says he’s got it.

Match 2: Samoa Joe vs Roman Reigns

We come back to the bell ringing and Joe attacking Reigns in the corner. Joe with a right hand to the face. Joe with a snapmare. He wrenches the head. Reigns is able to stand and turn into the hold. Right hand from Reigns. Joe returns the favor and drops Reigns. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Joe sends Reigns to the outside! He hits the ropes. SUICIDE DIVE FROM JOE!! Joe grabs the straps of the vest of Reigns and sends him into the ring. Joe rolls in as well. Joe mockingly claps for Reigns. Joe with a right hand to the face. Chop to Reigns. Right elbow. A forearm. Reigns is sent outside again. Joe hits the ropes, looking for a suicide dive, but Reigns moves, Joe heads out and lands on his feet, but Reigns hits a Drive By to the face!! Reigns grabs Joe and sends him into the ring. Joe misses a clothesline. Clothesline from Reigns. He hits 10 in the corner. Reigns goes for a Superman Punch, but Joe with an Inverted Atomic Drop! Kick to the face! Senton to Reigns! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Reigns with The Clutch!!! Reigns is able ot break it, though, by sending Joe through the ropes.

Joe enters the ring. SPEARS TO JOE!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!

Winner: Roman Reigns
In a vacuum, this was an example of something that could have stretched across a few weeks for a Summerslam match, but was condensed into a 20 minute segment of RAW. Neither good nor bad, but obvious.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

The Miz is Awesome.

That is all.

Just kidding, his music hits and he’s here to point with two fingers.

We come back from a break and The Miz welcomes us to MizTV and introduces his guest, Seth Rollins. WE get a recap of Brock winning the title.

WE come back to Seth laughing because Miz called the biggest match of Seth’s life a predicament. He gets it, it’s Brock. Seth then mocks saying his name like Heyman. He’s this big thing on our screen, and he’s got a big ol face and beady little eyes. Who wants to be Brock? Not Seth. He’s not a Brok wannabe. In fact, Brock is a Seth Wannabe.

Heyman is on the tron. His name is Seth Rollins’dose of reality. Brock looks in the mirror as the champion, and Seth thinks tht Brock is a wannabe? Don’t start bitching about Brock cashing in, because Seth did just that at 31. Seth says it took Brock four years to return the favor, because he is a Rollins wannabe.

Heyman tells Seth not to move, to just stay right there.

Out comes Heyman, who says that this is the very last time that

Seth says no, this is the last and only time he will tell him this. Heyman wants to talk for Brock, then he better be prepared to walk the walk for Brock. Seth will give him five seconds before he comes down the ramp to stomp Heyman’s head in.

Heyman says he is just an advocate.

Seth counts down to 1 and fakes leaving the ring. Heyman leaves through the back. Seth says over the past 20 years, Heyman has been billing Brock as a beast. He is not, though. He is a man, and any man can lose. At Summerslam, he will face Brock with the title on the line, and Brock will lose. As for tonight, let’s talk about it.

Seth doesn’t get ready for the biggest match of his life by resting, he gets ready by facing the best of the best. So tonight, he’s going one-on-one with AJ Styles. Tonight, it’s time to ignite the fire and burn it down.

Backstage, Charley is here to interview some legends, but Sami wants to drop some knowledge. He says this is pathetic. One more cheer for losers that just happened to be there at the time. He calls the audience pathetic. He tells all the legends to go home. Don’t come back. Go home and stay home. IN comes Mysterio who says Sami needs to show some respect and remember who paved the way. Sami says he doesn’t respect any of these people, but he’ll pave the road right through Rey if that’s what he wants. IN comes Angle who says when he was GM, they settled problems in the ring.

Rey says he is down and bounces.

Backstage, Kelly Kelly celebrates with Candace Marie. In come Melina and Naomi. Melina says she has gotten her license! AS A REFEREE!!! Candace trips up Kelly, attacks her, and pins! Melina counts it. 1…2…3!!!

Candace does the twirl, but comes off as a 60 year old pretending to be cool. Blayze comes in to tap Candace out, take the title, and proclaim that she won’t be champ very long.

Coach is on commentary.

Match 3: Sami Zayn vs Rey Mysterio

Sami works the arm, Rey uses the ropes to try and escape, but Sami kicks the arm. Sami with a right hand to the face. Sami whips, gets kicked for the trouble. Rey hops over the ropes, lands on the apron. Kick to the face, Rey up top. But Sami shoves him and Rey is left hanging. Sami stomps while Rey is in the Tree of Woe. Running dropkick to Rey’s gut and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Right hand from Sami. He grabs the arm, kicks it, then gets a snapmare into a cravat.Rey escapes, hops on the shoulders, Sami turns it. POWERBOMB!! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Sami punches Rey around a bit. Rey sets Sami up for it, but Sami rolls to the outside. Rey calls him to get back in. Sami doesn’t want to continue the match. He looks to leave, but RVD IS HERE!!! He’s in his singlet!!!

He’s not alone! It’s Sgt. Slaughter! Yeah, that makes complete sense. The Hurricane is here, too! Not one to be left out, Kurt Angle comes out too to help build the wall that will prevent Sami from leaving.

Sami gets back in the ring. Rey with a hurricanrana. 619!!!! Frog splash and a pin for 1..2…..3!!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *1/2

Backstage, there is a limo. The door opens, and Ric Flair is here.


Backstage, RAWs current annoyance is singing backstage until he walks up to his homie who is putting in eye drops and coughing. He must have spent some time with RVD. Hahaha, “You been skatin with the pilots?”

Alundra Blaze is here to toss the 24/7 title in the trash.

She told us all she wouldn’t be champ for long. Here’s a trash can that is a little on the small side. She grabs the title and is about to dump it into the trash, but Ted Dibiase is here! He tells her that he will buy the title. Because everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Ted pulls out a stack of some money, hands it to Alundra, and she leaves. Ted is now the champion, I guess. He laughs and leaves.

Someone thought this was creative.

We return to Lawler’s music. Cole welcomes him back as AJ’s music hits.

Gallows and Anderson are with him. They got a new entrance video, and are announced as The OC.

Match 4: AJ Styles vs Seth Rollins

Lockup to start. Seth with the side headlock. Seth backed up into the ropes. Shoulder tackle from Seth. AJ rolls to the ropes to stop Seth’s offense. They go for the test of strength but AJ kicks Seth and hits a right. Seth sent into the corner face first. AJ sends Rollins to the outside after a distraction from Anderson. The Club stand by the ring, then get ready to attack Seth Rollins until…..

Shawn Micheals and Triple H come out to the music of DX. They stand aside Seth and stare down The Club.

We return and both guys are going at it until AJ drops Seth. Back suplex attempt but Seth lands on his feet. Slingblade. AJ runs into a boot in th econrer. Seth to the 2nd rope. Blockbuster. Seth heads to the apron. Springboard knee, and he misses poorly. Superkick from Seth. He looks to stomp. AJ is up, though. Kick to the gut, Seth hits the ropes. Anderson grabs the leg for the DQ!


Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating:

DX enters the ring. Gallows and Anderson stand on either side of AJ. AJ holds the guys back, prevents a fight, and tells Triple H and HBK that they are one of them. They’re just like The OC. AJ holds the TOO SWEET hand up in the air. Triple H and HBK hold the sign up in the air along with them, then change it into SUCK IT! We get a brawl! The Club is sent to the outside. They grab chairs and surround the ring. It looks like a beat down until…

ROAD DOGG, X PAC, SCOTT HALL, AND KEVIN NASH COME DOWN!!! Road Dogg mentions Chyna, then laughs that he forgot Billy. He says math has never been his thing, but he wants to introduce The OC to the OGs! DX and The Clique. His advice is to get to steppin and do so quickly. They all enter the ring and The OC leave it, dropping the chairs while they’re at it.

AJ talks some shit. Road Dogg asks if everyone wants to do the honors until he turns to Seth, gets down on one knee, and offers him to do the honors. Seth grabs the mic, tells The OC that if they’re not down with that, they’ve got two words for you.

Who did that help?

Backstage, Mark Henry is talking to Mick Foley about beards.

Further backstage, DiBiase gets in a limo and gets pinned by Drake to lose the title he just bought.

Mick Foley is in the ring, and talks about the 24/7 title after the cheap pop. Drake and some other peeps come through the crowd to interrupt Foley. He looks to try and grab the title, but goes back to his speech. He was asked to pick out his favorite memore, and we go back to January 4, 1999…but the video is warped. The lights go out section by section, then completely. They come back on.

BRAY WYATT IS HERE!!!! HE GETS THE MANDIBLE CLAW ON FOLEY!!!!! The lights flicker as music plays ominously, and Wyatt chokes Foley down to the mat. Bray is on his knees with his arms outstretched.

Alexa Bliss is here with Nikki for a Moment of Bliss. She wants us to say hello to Nikki. We do. She then welcomes Becky Lynch.

We are reminded of Becky’s upcoming match against Natalya in Canada.

Nattie comes out because Becky can say whatever she’s gotta say to her face.

We recap last Monday when Nattie got the chance to face Becky.

Nattie says they’ve had a similar journey, and Becky has shown her such little respect.

Becky says they did fight together in Japan, but when Becky finally got here, Nattie tried to pull her feet out under her. She even volunteered to train Ronda to beat her at Mania. Becky says after Summerslam, she’ll still be carrying the title.

Nattie says she’ll be embarrassing becky. We get a tussle as Nattie attacks and they rumble until refs come in to break it up.

Backstage, Nattie is talking to Charley. She repeats what Becky already said, then says that the Evolution was built off the back of her. Nattie is going to take the title away from her. Man.

Another shitty Nattie promo, another shitty night.

Drake is backstage, running with the title. His wife tries to pull him into the limo, but Truth is there to roll him up and get the 1..2…3!!!

Truth hops in the limo with Drake’s wife, and he tells the limo to leave. It does.

Drake looks up to see Carmella and freaks out that both his wife and his title will be wearing a black man tonight.

Braun’s music hits, and there’s a jobber in the ring. He grabs a mic and tells us not to blink.

Braun grabs the kid and tosses him across the ring, then does so again. Big Boot from Strowman. Chokeslam. Braun pins. I won’t even justify this with a proper highlight and rating.

-eye roll inducing-

Here’s something more enticing…

We return to all the special guests from tonight on the stage. Ric Flair’s music hits, and he comes out to some cheers.

Hogan’s music hits, and out comes the man of black. In black. Against Bla—ah shit…uh…

Hogan wants to tell us something, and thinks we are related. He is happy to be here to celebrate, and is sorry to say it, but gets a cheap pop for the hometown. Some of his greatest memories were right here with Tampa Hulkamaniacs, and throughout all the years, to all of the peeps who loved him, he thanks them times a million. He guesses there’s just one last question to ask…

He then asks Flair what’s he gonna do?

Hogan’s music plays and Cole reads off some facts no one cares about but the WWE.


Austin asks for a HELL YEAH, and gets it. He says it’s good to be back here in Tampa. He remembers comin when times were tough, payin dues, telling stories, bein on the road with his brothers and sisters, and don’t think for one second that he’s going to come out here and get all sad cuz he’d just as soon drop everyone up on that stage.


He asks us to look on that stage. Every person on that stage has bleed, cried, sweat, pissed themselves, etc. That’s his damned family. Everyone. He looks at us, and we are family, too! Austin points at the hard cam and calls them family. We are all apart of the WWE Family. So he is thankful for the chance to come out here and celebrate. He came out early, spent the day with the one and only Hulk Hogan. They did a podcast, drank some beer, then ate sushi.

He has never hung out with Hogan a day in his life and enjoyed the hell out of it. Then last night, he stayed up all night with Flair listening to stories. By the time he got done listening and drinking, he had to order some room service. So he ordered a bunch of food. Then said he wasn’t done. He got down, went one floor, they both smiled, and Austin said DAMN before Simmons could.

They were so happy to see each other.

It’s all about the brotherhood and sisterhood and he’s thankful for the family reunion. So he invites some people down to the ring for a toast.

He toasts to every single sumbitch in this arena.

Austin gets in the face as he cuts the promo. He toasts to Tampa, to USA, to the world, to us, Thank you and that’s the bottom line.

End Show

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411's WWE RAW Report, Tony Acero