411’s WWE Smackdown Report 12.06.13

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: Randy Orton
World Champion: John Cena
US Champion: Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Big E Langston
Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes and Goldust

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WWE Smackdown Report 12.6.13

– Randy Orton heads down to the ring. He cuts a really good promo to start about proving himself. His voice is slow and deep but not quite at the boring level in my opinion. The authority have done wonders for this company according to Orton. Sometimes Orton thinks that he takes them for granted, He says that he’s not going to be a problem anymore. During the middle of this, I’m putting batteries into my daughter flashflight friend and I cut my finger open with a fucking screwdriver. I’m one handed and blown up before the first commercial. Writer’s Rust. Daniel Bryan heads down to the ring. D-Bry says that Orton never legitimately beat. He hasn’t forgotten all of the times Orton has screwed him over. This crowd is really weak. They barely get in sync with their “yes” chants after D-Bry challenges Orton. Orton leads them into a yes chant and they finally get into. I guess Daniel Bryan needs to remind everybody that the fingers to the air chant is a thing every once in awhile. JBL thinks the match isn’t going to happen later, so we have our main event booked for the evening.

–

–Commercial Break–

We’re back and the match is already booked sans segment.

Big E Langston vs. Damien Sandow
This is like a retread of The Miz, vs Fandango feud earlier this year. Sandow’s in the booth. Big E dominates Fandango to start until he makes a mistake on the outside. Fandango begins wearing him down with an front face headlock. Big E tosses him off and hits follows up with a huge looking gut buster. Big E goes for the Big Ending but Fandango catches him with a kick. Upstairs? Nah. Big E tosses him and then hits the Big Ending on second attempt.

This was just a squash. Fandango is more of an afterthought than ever, Big E looked solid, and Damien Sandow did a very good job being a prick while still putting E over on commentary. Decent enough segment to advance the feud but these midcard rivalries really need more than guest commentary and ambushes.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Big E Langston @ 2:50 via pinfall
RATING: SQUASH

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–Commercial Break–

Ryback and Curtis Axel vs, Cody Rhodes and Goldust The heels are quick to tag in and out and take it to Goldy for the first few minutes of the bout. Axel runs at Goldust and falls victim to a power slam. He gets to Cody who jump in with a missile dropkick. Sunset flip? That gets Cody two. He goes upstairs. MOONSAULT. Two. Goldust and Axel get involved but get through to the outside. Cody rolls to the outside and saves Goldust with a Disaster Kick off the announce table. Cody gets back in the ring and Curtis Axel rolls him up with a schoolboy for the victory. Looks like they’re next up for the titles, aye?

There wasn’t much substance as they worked the beginning of a longer match here. I actually appreciate that because it makes the finish less obvious. Rybaxel are getting their shot at TLC, I presume. It’s the first time in a while that I haven’t been super excited for the tag division on PPV. Two handicap matches and one of the tamest title matches they could book. I can’t judge until I see it though. All three matches could suck or kick ass and neither would surprise me.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Curtis Axel and Ryback @ 4:11 via schoolboy
RATING: *1/4

–Commercial Break–

Bad News Barrett time. He could tell us nice and thoughtful things that we want to hear but he’s not! You know why? BECAUSE HE HAS BAD NEWS. HE’S BAD NEWS BARRETT. YEAH. He takes a couple cheap heat jabs at the fans and that’s it.

Kofi Kingston) vs. Alberto Del Rio This match isn’t happening. Alberto jumps him before the bell even rings. He assaults him inside and outside of the ring for a few minutes before locking him in the Cross Arm Breaker. Kofi gets stuck with these segments more than anybody else on the roster. They don’t even put his name in the script. The script says assault and Kofi puts his trunks on.

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest
RATING: N/A

The Shield cut a promo on CM Punk from the back. Reigns wants to ruin CM Punk. Reigns cuts the best promo of his on-air career about what he wants to do to Punk. He wants to demolish him and break every bone in his body with a single spear. It’s going to take the baddest man in The Shield to take him down, says Reigns. “So that means… Me.” Says Ambrose. I think Reigns is going to get over great as a face. I’m not ready for The Shield to break up though. I’m all tears.

–Commercial Break–

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose Michael Cole is already sucking the proverbial dick of Roman Reigns. Is it too soon or is that turn happening sooner than expected? Ambrose pretty much takes control right out of the gate and I’m a little distracted by Cole putting Reigns over heavy like he is already. That and the fact that I’m still bleeding halfway through the show here.

–Commercial Break–

We’re back with Ambrose in control. Punk fights out of a headlock but can’t gain control. Ambrose goes upstairs for a clothesline but Punk gets out of the way and Dean hits the mat hard. Punk begins gaining some ground with dropkicks, and springboard planchas. He goes for a swinging neckbreaker but Punk reverses into a roll up. Nah. That’s not going down. Ambrose fights out and locks him in a sleepahhhh. Punk locks in THE VICE~! But Ambrose makes it to the ropes. Punk gives him a scoop slam and goes upstairs for an elbow drop. Ambrose makes it to his feet and cuts him off. Superplex? Superplex? Yuh-huh. Nice. TWO. That was actually more of a super snap-plex but ah well. Ambrose goes back to the arm bar he had applied earlier. Punk’s not tapping. Ambrose argues with the ref and Punk roles him up for two. He follows that up with a heel kick for another two. The crowd is coming alive for Punker. It’s GTS time. Reversed. Bulldog Driver? Reversed! GTS!? NO! CM Punk ends up getting tossed shoulder first into the ring post. Remember when that meant a bit more and wasn’t a multiple time occurance every ep? CM Punkl catches Ambrose with another kick. He follows up with the GTS and covers Ambrose.

OFFICIAL RESULT: CM Punk @ 9:22 aired
RATING: ***

– Mysterio is being interviewed by Renee Young before Colter interrupts accompanied by The Real Americans. Colter says his normal stuff, which is far more entertaining in the small doses he’s in now and not the main event programs earlier in the year. He eventually challenges Rey to find a partner and take on the R.A’s.

–Commercial Break–

Natalya vs. Tamina AJ is on commentary. Natalya hits Tamina with a huge discus clothesline to start the match off. Tamina is not down with that and gets in control. AJ says that if she doesn’t win that the fix is in. Natalya sells a backbreaker and a beating on the outside very well. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and Natalya hits he with a clothesline and a dropkick. Roll-up for two! Tamina gets in control and goes upstairs. She misses the superfly splash. Natalya rolls her up and wins.

The divas division, much like the Intercontinental division, relies on the most simple of segments to get the angle over for the PPV, but with only a couple minutes, even the best of wrestles can’t get the audience invested.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Natalya @ 2:38 via pinfall
RATING: ¾*

The Funkadactyls do a really good job doing the WWE merchandise segment. They may not be your cup of tea, but they have the ability to shine through their characters and be themselves on screen. That quality alone makes them far more interesting and fun to watch. Compare this segment to the Bella’s awkwardly pimping merchandise and you’ll appreciate it even more.

–Commercial Break–

The Real Americans (w/ Zeb Colter) vs. Rey Mysterio and Big Show Big pop for Big Show. I know you have to rotate wrestlers in and out of the main event programs but wreslters are just falling into midcard nothing stories every month with unfinished business at the top of the card. Big Show chops Swagger and tags in Rey. Rey gets taken down by Swagger and in comes Cesaro. Cesaro beats him up a bit. Quick tags back and forth. Swagger man handles Mysterio and tosses him to the floor. Big thud. Rey fights back. He hits a tilt-a-whirl DDT but Cesaro gets in! Show uses his long as arm to stop Cesaro and Rey makes the tag. Big Show cleans house. He spears Cesaro but Swagz breaks it up. If Reigns is using the spear so heavily and as such a big trait right now, I feel like Big Show should drop that for the time. 619. Chokeslam. Assisted frog splash off of Big Show’s shoulders. That’s all she wrote.

This was a fun little match that has me itching for Cesaro to swing Show more than anything.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Big Show and Rey Mysterio @ 4:08 via pinfall
RATING: *1/2

–Commercial Break–

Trips/Cole WWE.com exclusive recap. It’s not very exclusive by Friday as it’s aired on Main Event and been online for a couple days.

Bad News Barrett actually has some good news. There will only be one champion after TLC. He has some bad news too unfortunately… He goes on a long tirade about the winner will be scratched and clawed at from every direction. I’m optimistic about the Bad News gimmick. It can work at any card position with any level of comedy or seriousness. Once they get the gimmick established, we’ll see what route they go.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan They start off brawling back and forth with neither man gaining a clear cut advantage. Bryan works over the arm of Orton in between bevies of kicks. Orton goes for a knee drop when he gets Bryan down but there’s nobody home. Bryan goes back for kicks! He dropkicks Orton to the outside and Orton gets out of the way before commercial.

–Commercial Break–

We’re back with Orton in control. He keeps it monotonous for a little bit before D-Bry goes back to the high energy, high impact offense. Yes kicks and Yes dropkicks all around. A round for the house on D-Bry. Bryan walks into a powerslam and Orton follows up with the assisted DDT from the middle rope. He signals for the RKO but Bryan gets him with a backslide. Bryan hits the heel kick and heads upstairs. The lights go out! Rowan and Harper are outside the ring when the lights come back. Orton hits a really nice looking RKO when Bryan is distracted. Orton covers Bryan for three.

This a really good main event! Another entertaining match in the series of entertaining Orton/D-Bry matches..

OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 8:08 via pinfall

The lights go out again and Bray Wyatt pops up on the Tron. He doesn’t wanna keep haunting Bryan like this but Bryan doesn’t have to fight this war alone. One day D-Bry will finally realize what he is. Bray says “join us” and laughs as we fade to black.

OVERALL: Nothing stood out on either side of the spectrum. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton was good, but it was still just another Orton/Bryan match with less time than we’re used to. All of the storylines are being built well though. Everybody who should be featured was featured but I can’t help but feel that axing a match or two would have made the show a lot better. Anyways, this was a completely middling episode of Smackdown.

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