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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 1.3.23
Image Credit: AEW
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I had it all planned out; a well-intended goodbye to 2023 letter to all y’all with a thoughtful and meaningful thank you to wrap up the year. Then the tamales hit and I went comatose for like two days. So, instead of a goodbye to last year, how about a hello to this one! For 10+ years, I’ve been a part of this site, and for most of those years, I’ve been the go-to guy for Monday and Wednesday Nights. Since the lowly days of NXT Season 3, I’ve been a mainstay, and I can honestly say that through the darkest of times (and man did WWE have some dark, dark times), till now, the one thing that kept me from leaving the fandom altogether was and is you readers. Thank each and every single one of you. I hope 2024 is as bad ass as we all deserve it to be.
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Immediately after Samoa Joe’s win, he cut a scathing promo that basically says he’ll murder anyone that tries to take the title away from him.
WE get a recap of World’s End, including the reveal of The Devil.
Adam Cole’s music hits, then it remixes into an “UNDISPUTED” video as a background. He comes out with those who helped, Roderick Strong, Wardlow, Mike Bennett, Matt Taven. They sit Cole down in a chair, with his left hand still in a boot.
Roderick tells everyone to shut up and listen to his best friend, Adam Cole.
Cole has the mic now, and he wonders where the sympathy is. He finds it ironic that people were shocked and disgusted. This means two things: we are all stupid and we don’t understand right from wrong. We think he’s bad because he betrayed MJF. The guy who made enemies with everyone, who has ran his mouth about everyone, including us. He is the bad guy? If that makes him The Devil, buy him a first class ticket straight to hell. Most of that locker room will thank him. Most of us will thank him. Even Tony Khan will thank him. Fact is, MJF is gone and he’s never coming back.
“How could you, Adam?” Well there are plenty of reasons. First of all, MJF would have done it to him, he just beat MJF to the punch. Cole never needed MJF, MJF needed Cole. He sacrificed everything within that friendship. It’s how he broke his damned ankle. He lost something, not MJF. MJF needed Cole. None of us would be cheering or chanting without him. Cole made us fall in love with MJF. He saved MJF’s reign, and he ended it. In the beginning, it was all about the title. Then, it turned into something so much more. This is about destroying a man to his core. Ripping out a man’s heart and bringing him to his knees. You can chant, but MJF is dead. You know who’s alive? The Undisputed Kingdom. Aside from their disdain, they have one goal in common: win championship gold. The Kingdom has the titles, Strong has a title shot at the International title, and Wardlow, finally with a group that respects him. Wardlow will go after the AEW World Championship. And when the time is right, and he is healed, Wardlow will do the right thing and forfeit the title to Cole.
Wardlow seems farcically committed.
Cole brings up Joe. It was a pleasure. He hopes that by the time Wardlow is ready to challenge, he hopes Joe isn’t the champion, because it would really suck to hurt a friend. Self esteem is built on action, and they took action. They were sick and tired of waiting for things to change, because AEW needed change, and they gave it to us. The UK starts a new chapter, and The Devil is here to stay, baybay.
Before The Kingdom can leave the ring, Jay White is here with a mic.
His good friend, Cole, he says. Or as we now know, The Devil. He is impressed. Hell of a plan. He’s a big fan of what they did to MJF, but what he doesn’t like is being collateral for his cause, and making him the catalyst of this all. Now that we know who was under the mask, he’s not alone.
Here come The Gunns and the three men enter the ring to attack Strong and The Kingdom. They go man v man, but here comes Wardlow to destroy The Gunns then help with the attack to Jay White.
But here come The Acclaimed! to chase The UK out the ring. Bowens and Caster are pissed. The doc screams that Cole is not cleared.
We look to the ring and The Acclaimed realize that The Gunns are staring them down. There’s a pause, the crowd chants for scissors, but Jay White tells The Gunns to bounce, and they leave.
Daniel Garcia has a video promo for his match against Swerve Strickland talking about applying pressure to someone who doesn’t fold.
AEW International Championship Match
Orange Cassidy vs Dante Martin
OC does a bit of a cocky walk into a lockup. Dante flips out, Orange drops him on his stomach, elbows the back, then pulls Dante up. Dante tosses OC into the corner. He asks for the ref to hold him back. OC with a pin, Dante reverses into a crucifix for 1..2…NO!! OC with a bow and arrow stretch but Dante flips OC into a pin for 1..2.NO! Side headlock from OC. Dante works the arm, wrist lock, OC reaches for the ropes, Dante pulls him into the center. OC tries for the pockets, but Dante locks the fingers and they go chest to chest. Monkey flip from OC, but Dante reverses and kicks him hard. OC leap frogs, Dante flips over the back, OC holds his hands up to stop him. He wants pockets, Dante stops him, turns him, flips OC over the head, more rope work, and Dante gives OC the thumbs up. OC runs, Dante flips. Backslide for 1.2..NO!!! Cradle for `1.2..NO!!!! OC rolls to the outside. OC, on the outside, tries for pockets, Dante rolls out and OC rolls into the ring then hits a suicide dive!!! He shoots Dante into the barricade back first. OC goes for it again, sending Dante into the barricade! OC WITH THE POCKETS!!!!
OC walks his way around the ring with his hands in his pockets, building up momentum, all the way around, and a huge dropkick to Dante!
YOU SICK FUCK chant.
OC grabs Dante by the head and hooks him up for a suplex, but Dante reverses!
WE ARE BACK FROM BREAK and Dante flies out of the ring with a suicide dive! He sends OC into the ring and springboards into a crossbody! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! He tries for a Full Nelson, but OC elbows out, turns and hits a right hand. Dante stops him. Dante with an OC chop! OC shoves Dante. Dante with an OC kick! Another! Another! He winds up and goes for another, and another, and another, GIMMICK INFRINGMENT! Dante tries for a final kick, so OC hits him with a Superkick!! He corners Dante! KICK KICK KICK!!!! DDT From OC spiking Dante! OC to the top rope! Dante runs up to the top, OC with some body shots, an elbow sends Dante off the top. Dante flies back up, OC shoves him, Dante lands on his feet, OC flies wit a diving DDT!!! Cover! 1.2….NO!!! OC calls for Orange Punch, Dante dodges it so OC goes for Beach Break, but Dante pulls him up for a powerbomb. OC punches down, Dante pops OC up and hits him with a knee on the way down! Cover! 1..2…NO!!!! Dante to the top rope! But OC rolls away slowly! Dante runs and hits a senton to the back of OC then hops back up to the top rope, only for oC to roll away! Dante walks the ropes and flies with a splash! COVER! 1…2…NO!!!
Dante with a Half Nelson, OC reverses with. Crucifix pin for 1..2.NO!! Orange Punch missed again! Dante counters, but here he comes with another attempt! This one connects! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Orange Cassidy
I hope Orange Cassidy holds onto his title longer than Roman Reigns has held his.
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 13:30
Orange Cassidy offers a handshake to Dante Martin. They shake after some hesitation.
After some music issues, we hear Private Party’s music!!!! Quen is back!!!
They want to re-introduce themselves. They’ve been keepin tabs on the tag division – it’s been lacking. It’s been missing some….flavor, excitement, and private party.
Crowd chants WELCOME BACK
Kassidy enters the ring and wants to put every tag team on notice. This means everyone, FTR, Young Bucks, The Hardyz. They say New Year, New Me, but they say New Year, New Champs.
A nice welcome back for them, but this was the weirdest moment of the show to make said return. Also interesting to note a lack of mention of…well, you know, the champions.
Toni Storm is backtage with Renee. Storm says her perfume is offensive. Mariah will be wrestling, will Toni be watching? She says she doesn’t watch wrestling. How had can it be?
House of Black has a message for FTR. Challenge accepted. But they want to do it in front of their friends and family. If they win, FTR will walk up to their family and disown them, and they’ll have to watch as they walk back with their new family. He tells Dax’s daughter not to worry about the tears of her father, because he will finally be home with a family that truly loves him.
Swerve Strickland is backstage with Renee. She asks about his first opponent of 2024. WE get it, says Prince Nana. Garcia is respected, but doesn’t realize who he is getting in the ring yet.
Swerve calls Garcia a Blue League guy. The reason he’s getting tis match is because he is after the same thing Swerve is after: championship gold. Earlier, he was talking about big pressure. Swerve says the pressure isn’t about making diamonds, it’s about making pain. As for 2024, he wants the big belt. He calls out Joe directly. Says he will be coming for championship gold, so be ready.
Mariah May vs Queen Aminata
May with a huge slap across the face. May with a right hand. Slams Queen down hten pulls her back up. Queen attacks the mid section, misses a slap. May with a chop, another. Whip to the ropes, rana from May. She hits the ropes, running dropkick, and daaamn that looked good. Cover for 1..NO! May sends Queen to the ropes and pulls her aroms around the ropes. May hits the ropes and dives with another dropkick to the back. Queen rolls to the apron as May celebrates.
WE ARE BACK FROM BREAK and Queen is hitting a kick out the corner. A hard slap sends May reeling, so Queen hits her with another, another, she ducks a right and chops the chest. Clothesline, another, snapmare. Running kick to the spine! She hits the ropes and Queen with a running knee! Crowd has her back! May in the corner, running elbow strike from Queen. She locks May up on the ropes then hits a double chop to the chest.
Queen hits the corner, runs and hits yet another elbow. She goes for another one but May with a slingblade!!! Fireman’s into a May Day and a cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winner: Mariah May
The final minute was great, but the commercial completely gutted any quality we may have been able to see. A solid debut for the most part.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 6:37
Renee enters the ring to ask Mariah about her first win. She says she cant believe it, she won her debut. She’s wanted to be a wreslter since she was a little kid, so the fact that she is here is so surreal, and she hopes Toni Storm is watching and is proud. It’s all about Mariah. Her only regret is that she had to do this in Jersey.
Deonna Purrazo is here at the mention of Jersey!!!
She enters the ring, pretty much ignores Mariah, and poses. Renee introduces her as “The Virtuosa.” Deonna gets a chant. She is sure Renee knows this, but she is from Jersey. If Storm doesn’t want to be here, then they don’t want her here. As for Mariah, Deonna has a message she can pass along to Storm. It doesn’t matter where she runs or hides, Deonna will find her. She is All Elite, and they are in The Age of The Virtuosa.
Mariah says she isn’t the messenger, so tell her yourself, bitch.
Ah yes, every Woman’s Feud Starter Kit isn’t complete without the word “bitch.”
Christian Cage is here with his family. Tony calls him the second time champ and gives Cage a chance to speak, but Nicks mom grabs the mic and is curious as to why we boo her, a mother. How dare us? She demands us to stand and pay respect to the greatest TNT Champion that’s ever lived.
Cage wants us to keep it down while he conducts his business. IT has been 200 days since he won the title, and it’s been historic.
Tony tries to interrupt, but Cage tells him if he does so again, he’ll have Mother Wayne give him a spanking. He tells the crowd to sit down and shut up. It’s no secret that he went through a war. He needs to thank some people. First, he wants to thank Mother Wayne. He also wants to thank his pride and joy, his boy Nick Wayne. Adam put him through a flaming table and tried to end his career at 18, but Nick sucked it up and stayed in the fight. He loves Nick. Lastly, Cage wants to thank the man that sealed the victory at World’s End. The man that put the final nail in the coffin that is Adam Copeland. He wants to thank…himself.
LUCHASAURUS chant
Cage feels it’s his duty to address Copeland for the final time. He has beatend him twice. He is 2-0 against him. Back of the line for Adam. He can stand here and talk about how Edge grew up without a father, how his mother is no longer with us, but instead Copeland now knows that Christian Cage is superior to him. They both left a bit of their souls in the ring, but the difference is that one of them doesn’t have a soul, and that’s why he is still the champion. This is a warning: what happened at World’s End was just a glimpse of what he is willing to do to hold onto his title. Do not forget that he has made this title the most prestigious.
Another LUCHASAURUS chant
This is the most important title in this company. He will remain the champion for as long as he wants until he hands it down to Nick to continue his family legacy. They run AEW, they are the faces, now and forever.
Konosuke Takeshita vs Darby Allin
Takeshita with a big gutwrench and slam back to the mat. They lock fingers and Darby breaks it then arm drags Takeshita. Cradle for 1..2.NO!!! Darby backs into the corner, flies over Takeshita, locks up behind, Takeshita shoots him off then leg locks the head, flips him into a German but Darby lands on his feet! High knee from Takeshita. Whip to Darby, big back body drop! Side headlock from Takeshita. Darby is able to send Takeshita to the outside, hits the ropes, dives, and Takeshita hits him with a knee!! DARBY IS DEAD!!! Takeshita sends Darby into the ring then pulls him right back out by the leg. Takeshita with a waist lock at the bottom of the ramp. He walks Darby up the ramp then hits some fucking ROLLING GERMANS DOWN THE RAMP!!! WTF.
WE ARE BACK! Both men are up top! Darby is able to flip and hit a modified blockbuster/cutter off the top! Takeshita rolls out of the ring, but Darby don’t give a flying fuck! He shoots himself out of the ring onto Takeshit! Darby sends Takeshita back in, follows, right, left, rlll out, tries for a Code Red, but Takeshita turns him around and hits a modified piledriver WITH AUTHORITY!!! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Takeshita to the outside! Darby to the to prope! Coffin drop onto Takeshita! He is OUT! Darby enters the ring and the count starts. Takeshita is out. Don is at the announce table to give him a stir and Takeshita runs into the ring at 9! CODE RED! COVER! 1…2…NO!!!! Darby to the top rope! COFFIN DROP! KNEES ARE UP!!! Takeshita locks the waist! His knee is hurting! RELEASE GERMAN FLINGS DARBY LIKE A RAG DOLL! Takeshita locks up and hits another German! Takeshita lifts Darby into a suplex, but Darby cradles for 1..2.NO!! Crucifix Bomb and pin for 1.2..N!O!! HUGE LARIAT TO DARBY!! Takeshita looks to Don. Don signals to end it. Takeshita hits te corner. Big Boot in the corner. Takeshita locks the hip and sits Darby up on the top.
Takeshita to the top rope. He lifts Darby in his clutches. GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! DARBY WANTS MORE! RUNNING KNEE FROM TAKESHITA!!!
Winner: Konosuke Takeshita
BRISCOEEEEEEEE!!!!! They had NO RIGHT having a match this fucking good. If Takeshita was supposed to look like the beast we all know he is after tis match, then they did their job, and they did that shit well.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 12:47
The Don Callis Family gets to cut a promo backstage. Takeshita goes off in Japanese, and Don tells Darby to bring Sting for some tag team action next week in Daly’s Place.
Eddie Kingston is here for some action! Looks like we got a four way to crown his first challenger.
Trent Baretta vs Brian Cage vs El Hijo De Vikingo vs Bryan Keith
Cage drops Bryan and Trent then gets kicked by Vikingo. Suicide dive sends Braian into the announce booth. IN the ring, Keith and Trent are going at it. Rolling elbow from Trent but Keith eats it. Rights and lefts until Trent hits a throat thrust. Keith with a whip, high boot to the jaw. Trent rolls to the outside and here comes Vikingo. Big kick, spinning kick, whip to the ropes, reversed, springboard from Vikingo, lands on his knees, springboard, arm drag to Keith, runs the ropes, spinning rana sends Keith outside. In comes Cage to miss a clothesline, Viking tries for a rana, but Cage catches him, sunset flip from Vikingo, but Cage grabs him by the neck and flips him over his head! In comes Trent and he hits a knee. Half and half suplex. Trent stands alone. He flies over the top rope onto Cage. Right hands to Cage. Danhausen is ringside. Trent turns into a kick, Cage hits a brainbuster on the outside!!!
WE ARE BACK! VIkingo spins out of the ring and Cage crashes in the buckle. Big dropkick from Vikingo. Huge DOUBLE KNEES to Cage! Vikingo to the top rope. Bryan is shown stirring. He enters the ring and flies up with a headbutt. He climbs the buckle and grabs Vikingo by the head. Tries for a suplex, but Vikingo holds on. Headbutt drops Vikingo to the mat outside. Cage with a high kick to the stomach. Cage grabs the head and tries for a suplex. He gets to the top rope, but here comes Trent! He locks up behind. GERMAN!!!!!! Trent with a running knee to Cage! Cover! 1.2…….NO!!!! VIKINGO FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH SOMETHING! Clothesline from Keith, and all four men are down. Keith is up first. Double underhook to Cage. Cage spins out of it, big shoulder to the chin. Fireman’s, F-5! Keith rolls out. Trent rushes Cage, and Cage hits him with a powerbomb! LIGER BOMB! Pin! 1..2…NO!!! Cage calls for the end but Danhausen enters the ring. HE CURSES CAGE!!! Cage lifts Dan and spins him but here is Keith to hit a kick, Vikingo with a kick to Cage! Cage to the outside! Vikingo to the top rope! MOONSAULT TO CAGE!
In the ring, Keith runs and hits a high kick. Saito SUplex! Running headbutt from Keith! Cover! 1..2……N!O!!
Keith double underhooks! Trent lifts up, locks the legs and head, and drops Keith on his head! COVER!!! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Trent Barreta
Trent v Eddie could be fun. This match was perfectly average.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:40
Renee is backstage with Matt Menard for an interview, but here comes Hangman Adam Page pissed now that he knows who The Devil is and Joe’s relationship with them. He wants blood and he wants it tonight.
Swerve Strickland vs Daniel Garcia
Side headlock, to the ropes, shoulder tackle to Garcia. Gets right back up. Swerve with a surprise side headlock, to the ropes and again Swerve hits a tackle. They run the ropes, Swerve with a surprise rollup, flies over the back, tries for a sunset flip, but Garcia drops to his knees for a pin, Swerve with a rana, Garcia on his ass as Swerve stands tall. Garcia wants Swerve down to the mat. He pulls Garcia into a crossface but Swerve gets a rope break. Garcia smacks him on the ass. Swerve is pissed. He’s up and they have a shoving match. Swerve kicks off the ropes, duks under, knee from Garcia. Garcia with a running knee sending Swerve outside. Garcia sends Swerve into the barricade. Nana is talking behind Garcia. Garcia turns, they stare each other down and you know what the fuck its about!!!
THE DANCE OFF!!! They do the Rock/Hogan head turn thing. Lol.
HERE IT IS!!!!!!!
Swerve comes to attack but Garcia felt it coming! Knee to Swerve! Into the post! Garcia slides Swerve onto the apron, hops on, locks the head, he locks the waist, here is Nana to grab the leg! Swerve with a big boot to Garcia on the apron! Fireman’s! Death Valley Driver on the apron!!!
WE COME BACK to Swerve getting in the face of Matt Menard. Mat ttells him to keep it in the ring. Swerve asks what he’s going to do about it. Here comes Garcia to shove Swerve! He gets Swerve on the table and tries to lock in a Sharpshooter but loses his footing and they both fall off the table in an obvious botch. Swerve crawls away, Garcia too. They both head to the ring. Garcia in. Swerve to the apron. They fight with rights, Swerve to the top rope! Garcia chops the chest! SUPERPLEX FROM GARCIA! But Swerve holds on! Suplex from Swerve! Garcia with a HUGE knee to Swerve! Running boot! He hits the ropes! Swerve pops up with a Flatliner! House Call! Cover! 1..2…..NO!!!! Swerve to the top rope. Garcia is seated. STOMP!!!!!! COVER! 1..2…..NO!!! Holy shit!
SURPRISE CRUCIFIX FROM GARCIA!! 1..2…NO!!!!! HOUSE CALL!!!! He’s not done! Half Nelson into a package piledriver! Pin! 1..2….3!!!!
Winner: Swerve Strickland
A great main event with the right win. The quality was so good that the table botch doesn’t even matter. That’s some real shit.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 13:17
Swerve reaches out for a handshake. Garcia, holding his head, extends his hand, and just as he does, Prince Nana hits him with a LOW BLOW!!!
Menard has had enough!!! He runs in to attack! Swerve with a nut shot!!!
Prince Nana has the mic! Says we are looking at the next AEW World Champion, but here comes Hangman Adam Page!!!
They stare each other down. Neither saying a word….then the fight starts! Both men with right after right until security and refs come down to break them up!!! Hangman flies out of the clutches to attack momentarily, then Swerve with the same and we are out of time!
End Show
