Ask 411 Wrestling: Did Kenny Omega Once Wrestle a Nine-Year Old Girl?

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Kerry Von Erich breaking Mr. Perfect’s streak
As pointed out by numerous commenters, I screwed that up. I had KVM’s ending of Perfect’s first IC Title run mixed up with his undefeated streeak. My bad, and I wanted to make sure all readers saw my mea culpa.

Bringing back the trivia question
I appreciate the enthusiasm for it, but it’s just not my thing. If someone has another idea for a fan-interaction segment, however, I’m all ears.

The formatting
I’m not sure how the formatting of column #2 got all wonky like that. I swear on Tom Baker’s scarf that I wrote it properly. Hopefully it won’t happen again. Once I send the column to Bossman Larry for posting, it’s out of my hands.

You Q, I A

Okay, let’s kick this pig. Chris Geddis, you get first crack. Make it count.

Have any tag teams ever had an amicable split? Staying friends and cohesive afterwards, or do they always end with one turning heel on the other?

That depends on how far we’re willing to stretch the definition of “amicable split”. If you mean a situation where team demonstrably says “hey, it’s been cool, but it’s time to make hay in our own fields”? I’m sure there’s been one, but for the life of me, I’m drawing a blank here. I think the hurdle to it all is that it’s such a non-starter for angles in the aftermath. You lose the ex-partner feud, and neither man has an immediate and obvious direction. Still, I’m sure somebody’s done it.

Now, if you’re willing to stretch the definition to “separated by circumstances, and no hostilities occurred following”, yes, that’s happened quite a few times. The Hart Foundation didn’t have a nasty break-up; Bret just started getting a singles push and Neidhart put on Hammer pants and tried to make the New Foundation a thing. The Gangstas and The Eliminators both broke up when one half of each of the teams (Mustafa and Saturn, respectively) left ECW; this resulted in the two joining forces as The Gangstanators. This team, incidentally, would also drift apart rather than break up, as the duo focused on solo ventures, until Kronus outright left ECW for XPW. During their original run in WWE, The Dudleyz were broken up by the Draft, sending D-Von to Smackdown to become a reverend, while Bubba Ray tried some modern-day Dusty Rhodes gimmick. And just recently, American Alpha broke up because of the whole Kurt Angle/Jason Jordan thing (which I’m still waiting for them to pull a Vince McMahon/Hornswoggle/Finlay retcon to end it). There’s more, as always. No way to make a definitive list of these, but those are a few solid examples, which may not have been in the original spirit of your question. Dems da breaks, dawg.

Brian Garber thinks he has something to add to Bray Wyatt to make him better. Beyond reuniting the Family.

I think it’s time Bray adopted a submission finisher. Upper card faces hardly ever get to tap out (well, on the men’s side, anyways), so perhaps it won’t be as worthwhile unless he turns face entirely at some point, but it would fit well with the character’s mind games.

I don’t disagree in principle. Wyatt with a submission finisher could be used to really highlight his sadistic side, especially if it was a rather unpleasant, less technical submission (e.g., the Mandible Claw, or the Tongan Death Grip, but not exactly those). Something that underscores he gets a kick out of inflicting pain. There are some issues, though, that put the brakes on this idea.

For starters, there’s been a noticeable de-emphasis on submission finishers. Before you all run to the comments to point out that there are several people with submission finishers (Becky Lynch, Charlotte, Rusev, Neville pre-being Judy Winslow’ed), I did not say nobody has them. But there is a distinct dearth of submission finishers on the upper end of the male side of the roster. Reigns, Rollins, Ambrose, Owens, Orton, Mahal, Strowman, Miz, Ziggler, Roode, the individual members of The New Day, Kane, Zayn … they’re all impact finishers. AJ Styles and BUH-ROCK both have submission finishers, but they’re been relegated to triangle+directional alternates; the Phenomenal Forearm/Styles Clash and the F5 are still the primary. It’s been said the front office like finishers that can hit suddenly, as they look good on a highlight reel. Submission finishers just don’t pop a crowd the same way as a Pop-Up Powerbomb or whatever Rollins’ stupid knee strike is called this week.

But more than that … Wyatt, as a character, is so far down the hole, using a submission finisher to show off his sadism won’t move the needle enough to dig him out. Every feud amounts to the wrestling version of the Underwear Gnomes’ business model: creepy, cryptic promos are Stage 1, attacks someone for ??? is Stage 2, and feuding for 2-3 months are Stage 3, where he wins one match and loses every other. He has no defined motivation. No character definition beyond “existing” and “likes lanterns” and “possibly a train-yard hobo”. Even Finn Balor, as adrift as he is in the midcard, still mentions how he hasn’t gotten a rematch for the title he never lost. Wyatt doesn’t even seem to remember he was champion last February, and if he does, he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t aspire, he doesn’t chase, he doesn’t do anything other than engage in the same pointless cycle, bettering neither his own standing or anyone else’s. A submission finisher won’t help that. He needs a top-to-bottom overhaul. After an intense rehabbing, only then could it be considered to add in a submission finisher.

Up next is Richard, who wants asks a question that sounds terribly uncomfortable on the outset. Way to make it weird, bro.

Did Kenny Omega once attack and beat up a little Japanese girl in a wrestling ring?

Yes. Ish. I mean, there’s no denying it when there’s video:

But there’s a backstory here that puts this in context.

This went down in the Japanese promotion DDT. If you’re not familiar with DDT, they make Chikara look straight-laced. Words like “absurdist” and “Python-esque” are good adjectives. For example, their hardcore title has been held by (among many, many other non-human things) a ladder, a sex doll, a monkey, Vince McMahon’s Hollywood Walk Of Fame star, a pint of beer, a bus, and once, the title belt itself. The blow-up doll could “do” a Canadian Destroyer. In that light, adult v child (which, my research has turned up, is not uncommon in Japan) isn’t so off the reservation.

The specific backstory to this match is that – and this comes directly from Kenny Omega – they were scouting talent, and in the beginner’s class, this little girl was there. She was passed over in favor of others with other athletic experience, not to mention older, and she was devastated. The promoters of DDT felt bad for her and wanted to find something for her to do, and they knew Omega had done some inter-gender stuff, as well as having a reputation for being a very safe worker. Given her passion, they wanted to ease her into the sport while getting something out of the situation. And it’s not uncommon for the trainees to be in the ring with an experienced veteran to help ease them into it, get them experience, teach them how to work in a live environment, etc. So, they booked the match. And the weird thing is, it’s actually an entertaining match. Provided you don’t just suspend disbelief but smother it with a pillow.

Wow, that got dark at the end. Yohannes Setiadji, ask a question to bail me out!

Do you think that WWE is ready to add more titles ? Especially Women Tag Team Championship or Trios Championship? Think about it. Lately, WWE has a lot of faction consist of 3 people. (The Shield, New Day, Balor Club, The Miz & his Miztourage, The Zo Train, Undisputed Era, Sanity) Would it be nice if there are championship dedicated for this division. Same goes for the women. I do think the women deserves another championship, and that is tag team championship. I could name a few like Absolution, Bayley & Sasha, Alexa & Nia, Riott Squad, Welcoming Committee, Iconic Duo.

No. 1000 times no.

Oh, you probably want some exposition on that, don’t you. Okay, fine.

Look at any division that isn’t the main event and tell me how many distinct storylines are going on. The tag scene on both shows consists of champion v challenger for MONTHS on end (see the New Day/Usos feud) with dozens of rematches, and every other team stuck on the sidelines. The IC Title situation, up until Raw 25, was Roman Reigns holding it because Miz had a movie to film, Miz wanting it, and nobody else acknowledging it existed. The women’s divisions were just like the tag divisions, prior to the debut of Absolution and Absolution II: Electric Boogaloo. Now, both divisions are stuck in neutral while they have endless reruns of tag matches with the same six people. Meanwhile, Charlotte and Alexa have been relegated to watching the division run on a treadmill and wait for the Rumble. Creative can’t even get multiple storylines going for the divisions they have. Adding more championships would just inspire more of a logjam, as we’d get more “divisions” with extended, repetitious champ v challenger rematches, and everybody else staring up at them, doing nothing. Now, if the women had their own two hour show? I could see a set of women’s tag straps being useful then. But right now, they need to focus on making each wrestler have value and a solid storyline. A championship doesn’t do that; it’s just a prop.

Nelson Capullo wants me to make a list. I like lists! Nobody can ever argue with a list!

I’d be interested in the top 20 busts in Johnny Ace’s hiring portfolio. There’s gotta be a ton.

I regret this choice.

See, you’re putting me in an uncomfortable position here.

One where I have to defend Johnny Ace.

I’m not gonna say there is a misconception that Johnny’s tenure as head of talent relations was fraught with some less than desirable hires. It’s indisputable. Even the Devil can’t advocate that. But here’s my problem with painting him as the worst thing to ever happen to the Talent Relations: probability.

Over the course of time, everybody who holds the power to hire talent is going to strike upon some gold and some busts. Jim Ross gets well-deserved credit for Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Triple H, The Radicalz and The Rock. But, under his tenure, we also got The Headbangers, Marc Mero, Public Enemy, and most everybody associated with Gang Warz. Nobody talks about that, though, because his hits were home runs. In the same vein, Trips has Kevin Owens, but he also has Apollo Crews. Nobody bats 1.000. Johnny isn’t the only one with failures on his resume.

I would have to say, though, that above all else, his biggest failure was turning the women’s division into a combined Playboy/Victoria’s Secret fashion show. “Wrestler” after “wrestler” of untrained women who had big tits and little talent, but he saw them in a Hawaiian Tropic ad, so they were good for TV. Coming off the phenomenal Trish/Lita/Victoria/Molly era, Johnny’s additions to the division made it arguably worse than the Alundra Blayze/challenger era; the latter had fewer wrestlers, but had demonstrably more talent than the days of Kelly Kelly being the centerpiece-of-ass. There’s other failures on his resume for sure (I believe he was responsible for Kenzo Suzuki and Kevin Fertig), but nothing is more notable and more shameful than his driving the women’s division into the Earth’s core.

Yeah, that was kind of a cop-out. But it’s really the best answer. Just make a list of all the interchangeable, useless centerfolds and boom who didn’t have the talent to walk and think at the same time, you got your list.

Over now to Katamari Damacy, who wants to know about a possible legit beef. Not as in a piece of meat, but … never mind.

Supposedly the Dogs and Rougeau’s had legit heat and this was the reason the Rougeau’s were the first team eliminated in the Survivor Series ’88 10 team elimination match, so they could leave the arena right away.

Was there legit heat and if so, why? Also, why did the Rougeau’s want to get out of the building so badly that night?

There was very much legit heat between the teams. It started between Jacques Rougeau and Dynamite Kid. Both sides have their own version of events, which are definitely colored by their prejudices (and Dynamite being a surly misanthrope) but the common points are thus:

The teams did not like each other, but the major heat from the Bulldogs came from (shock) Dynamite. He thought the Rougeau’s to be arrogant and stupid, while the Rougeaus found the Bulldogs to be bullies.

There was an incident regarding the clothing of Dynamite Kid being cut up while no one was looking. All accounts pin the act on Curt Hennig playing a rib, as he was the last person Dynamite saw with it, and was notorious for being a ribber. Unfortunately, Dynamite thought the Rougeaus did it, and with their existing animosity, this did not help one bit. Dynamite, ever the cooler head, physically assaulted Jacques in the locker room over it, and cold-cocked Raymond when he tried to break up the fight.

Jacques got revenge at a TV taping in Fort Wayne some weeks later in an ambush. The sucker punch would knock out four of Dynamite’s teeth, which did wonders for his attitude.

Hostilities continued to escalate over the ensuing months, to the point where Vince himself tried to broker a peace. Dynamite demanded payment for his broken teeth before peace could be considered, Jacques refused, but Raymond insisted. But Dynamite was still upset because he’s Dynamite Kid, and he was born miserable.

When the Bulldogs gave notice shortly before Survivor Series 1988, the Rougeaus went to management and asked if they could leave the arena immediately after their elimination, as they feared that the Bulldogs – with nothing to lose, since it was their last night – might shoot on them in the ring or in the back. Officials said that was okay, so that’s what they did.

Whether the elimination was scheduled first to hasten this process, I can’t confirm. But it would make sense. There’s a whole lot of other he said/he said stuff in there (supposedly, Dino Bravo offered the help of people he “knew” to bring the situation to an end), but I’m not getting into that. We’ll never know the truth, as Davey Boy is dead, and Dynamite is not exactly reliable. Long and short of it, yeah, it was a nasty personal feud that got out of hand real fast.

Now we move on to Andrea, a reader from Italy, who wants to talk about big words with small results.

Can you give some examples of promos that could have been the start of something hot (even if not at the level of Austin 3:16 or the first Pipe Bomb) but instead failed miserably and felt like wasted opportunities? Matt Hardy with that horrible promo on RAW in 2005 and Jarrett when he returned to WWF in ’97 come to mind.

You probably nailed the most notorious one with Matt Hardy, and the Jarrett one isn’t far behind. That Hardy one … man, that one is still painful to think about. A few more to add to the list:

AJ Lee’s attempt at a “Pipe Bomb”. I know this may be divisive, but hear me out. Aside from the incredible shot she got on the Bellas and the Total Divas cast, this didn’t have nearly the impact CM Punk’s comparable promo did. Part of that can be blamed on how the other women sold it; the Bellas should’ve been disgusted and embarrassed and driven to prove themselves, not come off like teenagers dismissing an insult with “nice burn”. And Creative didn’t really follow up on it the way they should’ve.

Billy Gunn had a particularly painful one shortly after his repackaging as “The One”. He was having a pre-match promo against someone in the Right To Censor, and he was trying to sound fired up and … I don’t know … dangerous? Something. Anyway, the last words of his promo burned themselves into my brain for how unintentionally bad they were. He said, and I quote, “One of the members of the RTC is going bye-bye!”. That’s how you get your dog to go outside for a walk, not a threat.

But, for my money, the absolute pinnacle, the worst of them by far, would be the promo given by Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo the night they rebooted WCW to launch the New Blood/Millionaires’ Club angle. Stuffed full of inside references that the vast majority of fans did not understand, and delivered with an over-abundance of snotty privilege and defiant entitlement, the promo had the exact opposite effect of the intention. The New Blood were supposed to be the faces, a group of hungry youngsters who’d been held down and were finally striking back as a collective against the rich, lazy, complacent main eventers. The promo was so bad, it made The New Blood sound like a bunch of whiny, entitled upstarts, and cast The Millionaires’ Club – who were also vastly outnumbered – as the valiant heroes fighting off a much larger army of obnoxious whippersnappers. This was supposed to be a fresh start for WCW; they vacated every championship, and were finally going to use the old timers to make new stars. It was the man behind the Attitude era and the man behind the New World Order, working together to bring WCW back from the abyss. And their promo killed the angle, and doomed WCW once and for all, from the starting gun.

What a Maneuver is not only a fun Vince McMahon cliché, but someone asking a question too! What have we got, WAM?

This week I would like to examine Koko B. Ware’s missile dropkick. Often, when performing his “Birdbuster” dropkick, Koko would land on his feet. I think this just looked lazy, but would that take more athletic ability than to bump at the end? Also, are there others who have landed on their feet at the end of a top rope dropkick?

For point of reference, when I looked up Koko’s “Birdbuster”, I found it to be an alternate name for his brainbuster finisher, not the missile dropkick. But that’s neither here nor there. Just a note I wanted to pass on.

And for additional reference, is an audio-visual assist on said dropkick:

Not being a trained pro wrestler, I’m probably not the right person to ask. But in my untrained, armchair athlete opinion, I would think it’d take more athletic ability to kick off an opponent and get your feet down, all while shifting your body weight from a horizontal plane to a vertical plane, all in midair in a couple seconds tops. Because the standard way of executing a dropkick ends with the person doing the kicking just falling. Succumbing to gravity isn’t quite as impressive, even if it looks cleaner than Koko’s weird post-off move.

And, finally, Rahil wants to talk American indies.

What are the top indy feds in the US?

Well, first, we have to define indie, mainly because of one promotion: Ring Of Honor. They have a large touring circuit – larger than TNA – a weekly TV show, pay-per-view and steaming options, and a global presence, with alliances with Japanese promotions. But do they FEEL like they’re on the same level as TNA? Ehhhhh, I’m not so sure. Something about them still feels a step down … a very small step down, but a step nonetheless. Wrestlers seem to treat ROH-to-TNA as a promotion. But that’s my subjective opinion. I could be way off. If I’m being objective, I can’t find a reason not to put TNA and ROH on the same level. And if TNA isn’t an indie, that means ROH isn’t either.

So, with ROH out of play, I would say your biggest players are, in no particular order:

Pro Wrestling Guerilla out of California. Most famous for the Battle Of Los Angeles tournament, and having a tendency to name their events with very witty titles (Man On The Silver Mountain, 1.21 Gigawatts, The Secret Of Guerilla Island).

Combat Zone Wrestling, out of Jersey/Philadelphia, is the biggest promotion to fill the deathmatch niche, although they do have straight-forward wrestling too. Their Best Of The Best tourney gets overlooked, in my opinion.

Chikara, also out of Philly, is … its own beast. Leaning heavily into geek culture, they use very original gimmicks, such as time-traveling cyborgs, a stable of wrestling ants, a yachtsman, and incredibly complex (some would say convoluted) storylines that can take months, if not years to play out.

House Of Hardcore, which is an ECW-esque clone run by Tommy Dreamer, is still kicking around. Probably a bit of an exaggeration of their size to include them among these other promotions, but they do get some notable wrestlers on their cards, so that counts for something.

SHIMMER is the nation’s top all-women promotion, running out of Chicago. No cheesy GLOW characters or mud wrestling nonsense. This is serious wrestling by serious athletes who just happen to be carriers of two X chromosomes.

And, if you want to stretch the definition of promotion to its most liberal borders, there’s Lucha Underground. Personally, I think of that more as a TV show done in a wrestling format, but your mileage may vary.

Beyond that, you get into the very small promotions, the truly regional ones that operate in very specific geographic locations (states, or even cities). Nobody worth mentioning on that level.

Time to close this out now. Drop me a fat beat!

A Question I Want Answered!

Honest question. Not hyperbole. I’m really curious.

Is there anything WWE can do at this point to appease the IWC regarding Roman Reigns, or is he a lost cause?

I’m not being sarcastic. I really wonder if the ship has sailed, or if he can be redeemed. I think a heel turn is off the table, much in the way it never happened for Cena. But if they continued to book him as the mostly-silent bad-ass, and he continued to put on strong performances … could he ever regain the value lost when he was quoting lisping cartoon cats and acting like a cliché WWE face (i.e., a spoiled brat)? Or have the constant attempts to anoint him as the face of the franchise spoiled him forever, regardless of how they book him? I’d like to hope he can be redeemed … but I also know that, for some fans, it might be impossible.

Alright, that’s enough fun for this week. Be back next week for more of the same!