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Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 2.09.17
Image Credit: Impact Wrestling
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Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 2.09.17
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– DCC defeated Tyrus and Eli Drake @ 6:35 via pin [*½]
– Aron Rex defeated Robbie E @ 5:05 via pin [**]
– Impact Grand Championship Match: Champion Drew Galloway defeated Mahabali Shera @ 2:23 of round two via pin [**]
–TNA World Title Match: Champion Lashley defeated Eddie Edwards @ 12:52 via pin [***]
– The Broken Hardys arrive, Matt questions King Maxel’s choice to consume carbs, but brother Nero reminds Matt that young King Maxel is undefeated.
DCC Talky Time: DCC makes their way to the ring, and Storm said that they had a mission and no one would get in their way. they are in the ass kicking business, and business is good. Eli Drake & Tyrus arrive, they aren’t happy about last week’s ass kicking. Drake is still not talking, having Tyrus do the talking for him. Tyrus says they are calling DCC out, Tyrus wants all three, but Drake tries to talk him out of it. Tyrus has some jokes, and we get the brawl around the ring and on the floor before going to a commercial break. This was a solid follow up to last week, in regard to Drake and Tyrus looking for revenge, but the brawl was completely flat and had absolutely no heat to it.
DCC vs. Tyrus and Eli Drake: JIP with Kingston eating some suplexes from Tyrus. Drake worked over Bram for a while, but Storm tagged in and he took control, Drake avoided the superkick and tagged in Tyrus. Storm then did the Funkasaurus dance to distract Tyrus, but this only angered the big man. Drake takes a walk on Tyrus, who eventually eats a superkick, allowing DCC to pick up the win. DCC defeated Tyrus and Eli Drake @ 6:35 via pin [*½] This was a lifeless match, similar to the brawl to open the show. There is simply no heat on DCC, no one buys them as a threat and no one bought Drake and Tyrus as the faces. Between last week and then the pre-match this week, it felt as if they were setting up the Drake and Tyrus split, but that it simply came too soon. I al so get the feeling that despite his overall positioning, that TNA has no clue what to do with Drake. I’m not his biggest fan, but make a fucking decision if you’re going to push him and make the call before it’s too late and no one cares. Also, they desperately need to change the presentation of the DDC and really need to let them run wild a bit and build some heat on them.
– Brandi Rhodes will call out Rosemary tonight.
– Allie and Braxton run into each other, Maria arrives and yells at her to get her a coffee. Allie was great, “Now miss Maria, when you say coffee, do you mean coffee, coffee or whiskey coffee?” Maria still expects him to propose to Laurel Van Ness.
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Brandi Talks: Brandi thanks the fans and says they make this fun, she is the kind of person who when she has an issue, wants to solve it. She runs down Rosemary, and asks if Rosemary wants to throw hands, “You want to throw hands, I’m right here baby girl, what’s up?” Brandi trying to be all street tough there was funny. Decay made their way out, noting that they saw potential in her. But Brandi rejected them, and decay comes for everyone by choice or by force. Decay surrounds Brandi, looks to attack, but Moose makes the save and clears the ring. The segment just ended. Wow, that was not a good segment, Brandi did something I thought impossible and made me not care about Rosemary and decay. She talks, she is not good and makes me tune out and lose any and all interest. I have no desire to see a match between the ladies, Rosemary is really good but Brandi isn’t. I also have no real interest in a mixed tag coming out of this. They signed Brandi and feel like they need to use her, and I get that, but signing someone with next to no in ring experience and poor promo ability was such a bad call when there is so much female talent out there to choose from. I also have no idea why they moved away from everything involving the Jade feud; it makes no sense because the ladies were getting some momentum.
– Moose said that Decay better leave Brandi alone, and Brandi got her back. Brandi proposes a mixed tag for next week, damn it!
– Rex makes Spud sing his name repeatedly.
Robbie E vs. Aron Rex: Robbie is fired up to begin, Rex slapped him and they hit the floor for the Scooby Doo chase. Back in and Robbie takes control, hitting some charging strikes; Spud distracts him as he tries to pull Rex to the floor. Rex pokes the eyes and tosses Robbie to the floor; Spud choked him out with his coat. Rex took a solid, but shirt heat. Good fire by Robbie, he hits the high cross for the near fall. Spud tries to help again, but gets pulled into the ring; Robbie gets distracted and Rx knocks him out with the ring-assisted punch. Aron Rex defeated Robbie E @ 5:05 via pin [**] The Rex gimmick really isn’t doing anything for me; he comes off as a stale act with a fresh coat of paint. There is nothing about the act that interests me, or makes me care about him. He’s a dude doing a wacky gimmick at this point, that’s all I’m getting from this. Robbie E has been the standout to me in this mini-feud, which I am sure is the opposite of what they want.
– The Hardy family has a meeting about Matt’s latest premonition
– We see Eddie Edwards with wife Alexxis Neveah, tag team partner Davey Richards, and his wife Angelina Love getting ready for his big match.
– Mike Bennett tries to give Braxton Sutter a pep talk, about doing the right thing.
The Broken Hardys are In The ring: Matt reveals that he’s had premonitions about the expedition of gold. Matt reveals Vanguard1, who has been upgraded by the seven deities, and now Vanguard1 can teleport them as they travel to every promotion on earth with tag team gold so that they can win and conquer all of the titles. They must will all of these titles until the deities call them the greatest tag team in all of space and time. Matt says that they may go to territories, to the honorable ring or the MEEK-mahaan show. Matt has a premonition, and they must teleport right away, and they arrive in Tijuana. WONDERFUL! Well that was easily the best segment on the show so far, I needed some fun. I do worry about TNA not being able to sign the Hardys to a new deal, same with Drew. They have been consistently entertaining parts of the show for me.
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– Edwards’ wife Alexxis Neveah, tag team partner Davey Richards, and his wife Angelina Love are here to support Edwards…
Impact Grand Championship Match: Champion Drew Galloway vs. Mahabali Shera: Shera went for roll ups, cradles and backslides to begin. Galloway fired back, went up top but Shera tossed him off and to the mat. They brawled to the floor, Galloway lit him up with chops and then slammed him to the barricade. Shera whipped to the corner, paused for a long time, and then fired up and attacked Galloway and hit the sky high after the bell. (Round One: Shera 29-28) Galloway straight up kicked Shera in the face to open the round, fired up with chops and suplexes. Galloway is busting up the chest of Shera with these chops. Shera fought back, hit clotheslines and slams; Galloway up top, misses as Shera ducked; he rebounded with the claymore and future shock to pick up the win. Champion Drew Galloway defeated Mahabali Shera @ 2:23 of round two via pin [**] This wasn’t bad, it was mostly Galloway dominating and picking up another win, which was what it was supposed to be.
– Sutter meets with Laurel, drops something and kneels down and accidentally proposes as Laurel is quick to accept and bails.
Helms Dynasty Time: Helms says thanks to him, he introduces Lee as the new X-Division champion. He knew he would break DJZ down and he is now the crown jewel of the X-Division and the Helms Dynasty. Helms says he can look in a mirror and see his weaknesses, and says it is Everett. Helms says he gave Everett opportunities, but he wasted them. Helms asks how many times he will fail and threatens to trim the fat. Everett grabs the mic, says Helms is wrong because he has always sacrificed for the team, and he knows Lee is great and they win gold everywhere they go and did it without Helms. Everett says the problem is an old man living off of his former glories. Lee attacks Everett, and they beat Everett down. Knee strike by Lee and then the double stomp. Lee and Helms stand tall. Good angle, as the Helms Dynasty as a unit did what they could and it was time for a break. If allowed, these two will absolutely tear it up.
– More with the Hardys in Tijuana, he heals a man. We then get footage of them walking the streets, leading delete chants and singing obsolete. Matt demands they be taken to the tag team champions of Mexico. Next week we get footage of the Hardys vs. Psicosis and Super Crazy.
– Edwards’ wife Alexxis Neveah, tag team partner Davey Richards, and his wife Angelina Love are at ringside to support Edwards…
TNA World Title Match: Champion Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards: Lashley overpowers Edwards to begin. V to the floor, talks shit to Edwards’ wife and Edwards hits a suicide dive. They brawl on the floor, but back in Lashley hits a spinebuster and takes control. Post break, Lashley maintained control, just beating Edwards down. Good control by Lashley here, he wastes no time and just gets to business in kicking his opponent’s ass. Edwards hits a desperation clothesline, and follows with chops. Lashley catches the RANA try, but Edwards pulls him to the floor. The suicide dive follows, Edwards up top, hits the missile dropkick and covers for 2. Lashley looks for the powerslam, but then transitions to the dominator. Lashley grabs the world title, Richards takes it away, allowing Edwards to hit the blue thunder bomb. Lashley avoids the double stomp, but gets sent to the floor, but catches the dive and hits an overhead belly to belly on the floor. Back in the ring, and Edwards counter s the spear with the knee strike, but Richards pulls out the ref before he can count three. Richards yells that it is always about Edwards, Love attacks Neveah, and Lashley hits the spear to retain. Champion Lashley defeated Eddie Edwards @ 12:52 via pin [***] Good match as expected, but on the lower side of their series in terms of quality. The turn had been teased since Richards returned from injury, and came across well between making it more personal with the wife, made it even worse since this was Edwards’ last shot at Lashley’s title. The feud has a lot of potential.
– Love and Richards continue their attack post match, as Love makes Neveah watch Richards choke out Edwards. Love and Richards stand tall.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
