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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 04.02.18
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 04.02.18
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Bayley defeated Sonya Deville @ 9:52 via pin [**]
– Seth Rollins defeated Finn Balor @ 22:05 via pin [***¾]
– Matt Hardy defeated Goldust @ 3:10 via pin [*]
– Elias defeated Heath Slater @ 1:12 via pin [NR]
– Dana Brooke & Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 10:38 via submission [*½]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
Steph & HHH Face Off With Angle & Rousey: HHH opens up by running down Angle, claiming that he’s setting up Rousey to lose in her first match. Stephanie again says they will rebuild Rousey after she loses. Stephanie says Rousey is a star, and that bringing her to WWE is best for business, but says Angle has derailed her career, costing all involved millions. Steph is really good here, this is the time for her to play her bitch role to build the match and because this time she will get some comeuppance. HHH says all of Rousey’s past accomplishments mean nothing is WWE, but WWE is everything to them, and Rousey has no idea what’s going to happen to her. HHH says they will win. They go Q&A now. Steph says that they will win, because when there’s an uprising, they will shut it down and everyone will respect the Authority. Angle puts over “Ronda Rowdy” as his partner. Steph has some final thoughts, saying that Rousey chose this path and will lose her first match to her. “And the world knows how she handles losses.” Rousey asks if Steph is right or left handed, because she wants her to be able to sign her checks after she rips an arm off on Sunday. Coach sets them up for the pre-match photo op. HHH & Angle shake, and Steph offers to shake Rousey’s hand, but Rousey is pissed and Angle has to separate then, but HHH attacks him and Steph slams Rousey through the table. This was a good opening segment, with Steph playing the ultimate bitch, and she and HHH getting one up ahead of Mania.
Bayley vs. Sonya Deville: Rose & Paige are at ringside. Deville works leg kicks, but Bayley cuts her off and hits a running cross body. The side headlock follows, and Bayley grounds the action. Bayley fights out and powers her to the corner, but Bayley stuns her off the ropes and they blow an arm drag spot and Bayley ends up with more of a high cross. Bayley slams her to the buckles, but Deville fires back with strikes and kicks. Post break, and Deville has the action grounded. Bayley escapes, but Deville hits a slam and cuts that off. She follows with knee strikes, and the running knee follows for 2. She follows with kicks, but Bayley fires up with rights. She lays the boots to her in the corner, heads up top and hits a high cross and follows with a knee strike for 2. Deville powders, Bayley follows and Deville cuts her off but back in, Bayley hits the stunner in the ropes for 2. Bayley takes out Rose, and Deville rolls her up for 2. Bayley then rolls her up for the win. Bayley defeated Sonya Deville @ 9:52 via pin [**] This was an ok match, with a rough first half, and a better second half. The post-match angle was good to add some build to the women’s battle royal.
– Rose & Deville beat her down post-match; Banks arrives and makes the save. They clear the ring and Banks demands Bayley raise her hand because she saved her, and they brawl. Rose & Deville join back in and they beat down Banks & Bayley, and stand tall.
– Next up is a video package on Asuka’s undefeated streak heading into Sunday’s match vs. Charlotte.
– They hype that Maryse & Miz had their baby.
Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor: Balor won their last meeting on Raw. Miz is out on commentary. They worked some fast paced back and forth to begin. Rollins hits a shoulder block and then grounds the action. Miz hypes the Mania match on commentary and then talks about his daughter as Balor fights back, hits arm drags and they work into a stand off. Post break, as Balor hits a basement dropkick and takes control. Rollins gets pissed and they push and shove each other. They trade strikes now, going crazy fists and Rollins dumps Balor. He follows and slams Balor into the barricade. Back in they go, Balor dumps Rollins and then hits an apron PK. Back in we go and Balor covers for 2. Rollins slams him to the buckles, and hits the blockbuster for 2. Rollins now grounds things, as we get a screen in screen hype package for Nakamura vs. Styles. Rollins hits a neck breaker, covering for 2. They trade chops, working into counters and Balor fires up with forearms. Balor maintains control, but Rollins gets a cradle for 2. Balor hits the final cut, covering for 2. Rollins counters sling blade, and sends Balor to the floor and then hits the suicide dive. Post break, and Balor hits sling blade. Rollins cuts of the dropkick and hits a superkick for a great near fall. Great crowd tonight. Rollins misses a corner attack, eats an enziguri and Balor heads up top and gets crotched. Rollins follows him up but Balor battles back. Rollins back and hits the superplex and Balor cuts off the falcon arrow into a cradle for 2 (shades of how Balor previously beat him). Rollins hits the knee strike, covering for 2. Rollins heads up top, and the high fly flow eats knees and Balor rolls him up for 2. This crowd kicks ass. Rollins rolls to the floor, Balor’s PK is blocked and Rollins looks for the barricade bomb, but Balor escapes. He follows with John Woooooooooo! Back in and Balor heads up top for the double stomp, he misses and Rollins hits the superkick, the curb stomp finishes it. Seth Rollins defeated Finn Balor @ 22:05 via pin [***¾] This was a very good and tremendously fun back and forth match, with an awesome crowd. Just let your talented performers go out there and do what they do best.
– Both battle royals and the cruiserweight title match are the kickoff matches on Sunday.
Here's what YOU can see THIS SUNDAY on #WrestleMania Kickoff starting at 5e/2p!
– @CedricAlexander vs. @MustafaAliWWE for the @WWE #Cruiserweight Championship
– #AndreTheGiant Memorial Battle Royal
– @WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal pic.twitter.com/aNtdGUYzt4— WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 3, 2018
– Next up is a Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar video package.
– Heyman is on the phone, teasing that he’s taking to the UFC. He meets with Angle, and Angle says the WrestleMania main event has to stay in place. Heyman promises to do it Angle’s way, but laughs when Angle mentions not to get Brock hurt tonight.
– Shane returns on Smackdown tomorrow.
#SDLive Commissioner @shanemcmahon RETURNS TOMORROW NIGHT at 8/7c on @USA_Network just FIVE nights before teaming with @WWEDanielBryan against #KevinOwens & @SamiZayn at #WrestleMania! pic.twitter.com/0VDFuVqafT
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
– The Bar arrives. They don’t care who Braun’s partner will be on Sunday, it doesn’t matter, because this is a tag team match, and they are the superior team. Braun arrives, and says he doesn’t play well with others. But he has to have a partner, and he has a partner. His partner doesn’t appreciate what the Bar was saying, and the Bar challenges them to come to the ring. Braun says his partner wants a match with one of the Bar. They agree. The partner is… BRAUN IN GLASSES AND A DRESS SHIRT, his brother “Brains”. The Bar attacks, and beat him down. Braun fights them off and tosses them around, clearing the ring. That was fun and a good way of not giving away the partner.
– Goldust cuts a promo on the Andre Battle Royal, Matt Hardy interrupts and says he also wants to win the Andre.
Matt Hardy vs. Goldust: JIP as matt claps for Goldust. Goldust attacks and posts Matt, and follows with rights. Goldust hits a spinebuster, covering for 2. Matt fires back, hits the side effect and that gets 2. Goldust fights of the twist of fate and hits a spinebuster for 2. The second rope elbow misses and the twist of fate is countered again, but Matt finally hits it, and that’s that. Matt Hardy defeated Goldust @ 3:10 via pin [*] This was some attempted build for the Andre Battle Royal, but was really a nothing match, just here to give Matt some momentum.
– Matt talks to the Andre trophy after his win.
The mission is clear for #WOKEN @MATTHARDYBRAND at #WrestleMania…
PROCURE! PROCURE! PROCURE! #RAW pic.twitter.com/fbkX60Uf6R
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
– Mickie & Alexa make fun of Nia.
– We get an NXT Takeover: New Orleans video package.
John Cena Wants an Answer From Undertaker: Cena says he was wrong, he’s out of time, and there’s no answer from Undertaker. Silence means no, no Undertaker. But he’s not upset; he did his best to get Undertaker to do something. He will go to Mania fired up, and teases being Braun’s partner, or being in the Andre, but that won’t happen. He lost a lot recently, losing his chances for big matches. He won’t take a spot from a star that busted their asses to get there. He says he and Undertaker is a big Mania match, it would have been two larger than life stars facing off. One year ago today, his life changed, and he thanks Nikki. He has a lot going on outside of WWE, and this year’s Mania could be the site of a big change. He’s proud to go to Mania as a fan to watch great performers on a great card. They don’t need him. He’s happy Bryan is back where he belongs. He’s proud to watch AJ Styles as WWE Champion at Mania, and is even happy it falls on Rusev day. He’s even happy to see what Elias will do and the women’s matches as well, as they continue to grow. But he apologizes about Undertaker, he did everything he could to summon him. He tries to fire up the crowd and try one more time to summon the Undertaker. He gets them chanting for Undertaker, but no Undertaker. Cena says the fans have poured their hearts out for Undertaker, but he won’t do anything. He’s mad Undertaker has ignored the fans, and is a dead man walking. It’s clear you left your hat in the ring and your balls at home. Cena leaves and that’s that. Cena again did a good job, and got the crowd involved again, but it really feels like a big mistake to not have Undertaker appear to make things official. Maybe his return will make for a great moment on Sunday, who knows.
– Commentary hypes Sunday’s card.
– Kurt Angle meets with Roman Reigns, and tells him not to fuck up Sunday’s title match. Reigns says he will stay because he respects Angle (before accusing Angle of pawning his Olympic medals), but is tired of Heyman & Lesnar. If they piss him off, it’s on.
– Elias buries Atlanta, but says he has a great performance scheduled for Mania. Heath Slater & Rhyno interrupt.
Elias vs. Heath Slater: Elias beat Rhyno last week and attacked Slater after that. Elias controls early, but Slater fires back and hits a knee strike. Elias cuts him off and hits drift away for the win. Elias defeated Heath Slater @ 1:12 via pin [NR] Filler.
– Braun walks and meets with Curt Hawkins, who wants to be his tag team partner. Braun throws him through a wall to give Hawkins his “big break.”
Nia Jax Interview Time: We get a sit-down interview with Nia, hosted by Renee Young. Nia says that emotionally, Mickie & Alexa’s words hurt, and it took her back to her childhood. But she says she is true to herself and has respect for herself. She doesn’t claim to be a goddess, she’s just Nia. She’s been disappointed in herself for trusting Bliss, she thought that they were friends. She doesn’t take any shit, and she’s strong and confident. She loves who she is. She’s proud of herself, and Bliss represents everyone who tried to keep her down. She tells Bliss that she’s nothing but an insecure little girl and at Mania; she will squash her like a bug. This was fine, Nia should squash Bliss in under a minute on Sunday.
– Knowing WWE, I truly expected Bliss to wear a sumo suit at some point to make fun of Nia.
Dana Brooke & Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James: Brooke and Bliss to begin. They work some basic back and forth, Bliss cuts her off with rights, but Brooke counters back and hits a back handspring elbow in the corner. James tags in and takes control, the crowd chants for Asuka. Brooke fires back with rights, slams James to the corner, and misses the corner elbow. James hits a running kick, and lays the boots to Brooke. Brooke hits a slam, but quickly gets cut off again. Post break, and James works the heat on Brooke. Brooke slowly battles back, but James grounds her again. Brooke again starts to fight back, gets cut off and Bliss tags in. Bliss slaps her and then lays the boots to her. Brooke again starts to fight back, hits a suplex and finally tags in Asuka. James in as well, and Asuka runs wild on her, hits the knee strike and follows with kicks. She takes out Bliss and James bails, but Asuka takes her out with a kick. Back in and James cuts her off with a head kick for 2. James up top, misses and Asuka locks on the Asuka lock for the submission. Dana Brooke & Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss defeated Mickie James @ 10:38 via submission [*½] This was extremely bland until Asuka got in there with Mickie (who’s been really great), the post match was solid.
– Post match, Bliss & James attack, but Nia makes the save as Bliss runs away.
– Paul & Brock walk and Angle warns them not to fuck things up.
One More Time, Brock & Roman: there are a ton of undercard goofs on the ramp to “try and save the main event”. Heyman runs down Angle and says that they control things because they have the universal title. Heyman promises to tell the truth, and says before Mania 30, he promised Brock would beat Taker’s streak and he did. And they laughed at all of the fans for doubting them. At Mania, Brock & Roman collide, the only two men that have beaten Taker at Mania. Everyone thinks Roman will win to complete the story. Heyman says he can respect Roman, but at Mania, Brock will F5 Roman and beat him 1, 2, 3. That’s a spoiler. Accidents could happen, and if it does, and Brock loses, this will be the last time you see them on Raw. Heyman then says that the image they have built is 100% true. Brock hates everyone and thinks no one can hold his jock or win his title. Nobody is better, so on Sunday Roman will have to accept defeat. Roman’s options are like his ass; they both belong to Brock. Roman will have to go home to his family Sunday and admit defeat again. “You ain’t the big dog and this is not your yard, you’re just another notch on Brock’s belt, and you’re just Brock’s bitch.” Roman arrives and asks why the full time talent will protect the part timer. They allow him through and Roman hits the ring. Brock bails, and grabs a chair. He gets back in the ring and Roman attacks with Superman punches, four of them. Roman hits another and grabs the universal title and poses over a fallen Brock. Brock rises from the dead and lays him out with an F5. Heyman’s promo was good, but other than that, this was a flat and disappointing go home angle for these two. There was just no real energy and they did nothing to get me excited for the match.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
~GLORIOUS~
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