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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 12.03.18
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Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 12.03.18
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Ronda Rousey & Natalya defeated Tamina & Nia Jax @ 1:57 via DQ [NR]
– Sasha Banks & Bayley defeated Mickie James & Alicia Fox @ 4:30 via pin [**]
– Lucha House defeated Scott Dawson @ 2:30 via pin [NR]
– Dolph Ziggler defeated Drew McIntyre @ 13:30 via pin [***]
– AOP & Maverick defeated Roode & Gable @ 3:31 via pin [*]
– Loser Gets Fired Match: Heath Slater defeated Rhyno @ 1:15 via pin [NR]
– Finn Balor defeated Jinder Mahal @ 7:30 via pin [**¼]
– Ronda Rousey & Ember Moon defeated Tamina & Nia Jax @ 7:30 via submission [*½]
– Follow all of my reviews at this link.
– You can check out my top 49 matches of OCTOBER list at this link.
Dear 8 pound, 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent, Monday Night Raw has been really bad as of late, and I’m sure you’re really busy, but if you could do a brother a solid and fix this shit up, I’d appreciate it.
– We’re in Texas, and open with a 10-bell salute for George H. W. Bush.
– Natalya actually makes it to the ring without getting attacked.
– The Riott Squad arrives with a table, causing a distraction.
Ronda Rousey & Natalya vs. Tamina & Nia Jax: Jax and Tamina take immediate control, slamming Rousey to the steps. The Riott Squad kick Natalya’s ass at ringside. Rousey rolls back in and gets double teamed right away. The Squad puts Natalya through the table. I guess that’s a DQ. Ronda Rousey & Natalya defeated Tamina & Nia Jax @ 1:57 via DQ [NR] This was all angle to allow Jax to get some heat on Rousey and likely set up a tables match at TLC with the Riott Squad vs. Natalya and two partners, I’d guess Bayley & Banks as they have nothing to do. It wasn’t particularly good, but at least it had a purpose behind it.
– Ronda helps Natalya backstage. Ronda demands help for her and makes angry faces.
Don't mess with @RondaRousey's friends. #RAW pic.twitter.com/Kr2XrDk80w
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) December 4, 2018
A Moment of Bliss: Bliss talks about being in charge of the women’s division. She promises to work hard but last week’s open forum didn’t go well, so she’s going to do it again. She brings out Banks and Bayley. Bayley asks how long do they have to wait to get jumped this week. Bliss apologizes and says she reprimanded Dana, James, & Fox. The first question is about Banks using Bayley. Banks says Bayley wasn’t supposed to find out she’s going to stab her in the back, “right Graves?” Banks says they will be tag partners for life. They are asked about who they’d like to face and they say Trish & Lila at Mania. They are asked about superpowers they’d like to have, and Bayley says she’d make Bliss disappear. The next question is what changes they would bring to the division in 2019, and Bayley says they want to be the first women’s tag team champions. Dana, James, & Fox arrive, Bliss reprimands them and books James & Fox vs. Bayley and Banks. So they basically ran the same bullshit as last week, with a slightly different outcome, and it wasn’t good either time.
Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Mickie James & Alicia Fox: Bayley has control until Fox distracts her and James takes control. Fox tags in and hits a northern lights suplex for 2. Fox grounds things, and James tags in and hits a running boot on Bayley. James ground the action, Fox tags in and accidentally kicks James to the floor. Tag to Banks, she runs wild, locks on the banks statement but James makes the save. Banks fights her off, but James fires back with a head kick and covers for 2. Bayley takes out Fox and Dana, Bayley tags in and the backstabber and Bayley to belly finishes it. Sasha Banks & Bayley defeated Mickie James & Alicia Fox @ 4:30 via pin [**] This was ok, but like much of the shows these days, felt like more of the same. They desperately need to shake up the women’s rosters.
– We get highlights of Corbin and his goons running wild on Raw.
– Bliss walks backstage and Ronda arrives to yell at her. Bliss sent the Riott Squad home and will deal with them next week. Ronda wants revenge on Tamina & Jax, and will find a tag team partner to do so.
– Now we take an “inspirational” look at Corbin’s rise to power.
– Corbin meets with Roode & Gable, they want a rematch with AOP. Corbin says they can have a shot if Roode beats Maverick tonight. Gable & AOP are banned from ringside.
Lucha House Party vs. Scott Dawson: Dawson cuts a promo, explaining that the Luchas have no respect for tag team wrestling. He wants a singles match, but it’s a 3 on 1 handicap match. The luchas run wild and pick up an early near fall. Dawson takes out Kalisto and Metalik, and then isolates Dorado. The Gory special follows, Dorado escapes and tags in Metalik. They double team Dawson, take out Dash as Kalisto hits a dive. High cross by Dorado, Metalik tags in and hits a senton after Kalisto’s salida del sol and that is that. Lucha House defeated Scott Dawson @ 2:30 via pin [NR] Again, none of this makes any sense, and the Revival are in the right as they just want to have a proper tag match, while the Luchas have special, and unexplained rules. God forbid we have the Revival vs. Luchas in a proper 10-minute tag, because that might be good.
– Corbin meets with a backstage goof, who brings him a present for McIntyre.
Drew McIntyre Appreciation Night: Corbin is out to run the segment. Corbin says he will be the permanent GM when Strowman forfeits at TLC. He kisses his own ass for a while and then says he had some help with one special person, so tonight is Drew McIntyre appreciation night. We get a video package. McIntyre now arrives. Corbin thanks McIntyre for his work and support. Corbin has a gift for him, and it’s a special medal. You took out Kurt Angle, so you are now Raw’s gold medallist of excellence. McIntyre says he was just doing what no one else was strong enough to accomplish. When he arrives, guys were playing video games, had no fire, and were re-tweeting fan compliments. He wanted to make Raw in his own image, and he did. Balor likes to think of himself as the voice of the fans, but he’s a boy in a man’s world. Ziggler now arrives. Ziggler says they had an alliance, and he brought McIntyre to Raw. Ziggler didn’t see himself in the video package, and was apparently not invited. McIntyre says he wasn’t invited, because he doesn’t meet the height requirement. McIntyre says he was the brains, muscle, and talent. Their relationship doesn’t work for him any more, Ziggler’s role was to get McIntyre here, and he succeeded for once. McIntyre dismisses him, noting that he made Ziggler relevant for the first time in 10-years. Ziggler attacks, hits zigzag and bails. Corbin now books McIntyre vs. Ziggler. It was nice to see McIntyre get some time to talk and he did well. Also, any chance someone gets to bury Ziggler, I am all in.
Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler: JIP as McIntyre talks shit and catapults Ziggler to the floor. McIntyre follows, snatches him up and tosses him back into the ring. McIntyre grounds the action, Ziggler slowly fights back, but McIntyre cuts him off with an overhead toss. They work to the floor, McIntyre gets the mic and says he feels like he’s going easy on Ziggler, but will now pretend he’s Balor. McIntyre starts kicking his ass, rolls him back in and demands Ziggler fight. McIntyre lays in chops, Balor arrives on the stage, and walks to the ring. Post break, and Ziggler is firing back. McIntyre cuts him off with the reverse Alabama slam for 2. McIntyre sets Ziggler up top, follows him up and lays in chops. Ziggler fights him off and flies off into a DDT for 2. Ziggler dumps McIntyre, and hits a high cross from the apron and follows with ground and pound. McIntyre cuts that off with a head butt, crotches Ziggler on the barricade, and rolls him back in but Balor attacks McIntyre. McIntyre beats the count, eats a superkick and Ziggler pins him. Dolph Ziggler defeated Drew McIntyre @ 13:30 via pin [***] They made a big deal of this being McIntyre’s first singles pin loss since arriving on Raw. I get that the booking is that Balor cost him the match, in theory giving some extra heat to the match, but having McIntyre lose ahead of the PPV, to a Ziggler that was doing nothing and isn’t booked on the PPV felt like the wrong call to me. On one hand it was nice to see the faces not get owned, but not in favor of hurting Drew’s momentum; good match, with questionable booking.
– Drew walks backstage and is pissed. Dolph was never his friend, and now he’s his enemy. He basically promises to kill Dolph and says Balor is a marked man.
– Elias is here. He’s been searching for Lashley so he can wrap a guitar around his head. He knows Lashley is afraid, but before he can play his tune, Lio & Lashley interrupt. Lio says Lashley will dominate Elias at TLC and praises how great Lashley is and Lashley poses. Elias gets pissed and charges Lashley. Lashley cuts him off, but Elias slams Lashley into the LED board and chases Lio & Lashley away. Balor tosses Lio back on stage and Elias gives him the El Kabong to stand tall. I did like this, Balor & Elias have had issues with these two for a long while so them coming together for revenge made sense.
– Jinder Mahal wants to take out Balor for Corbin tonight. Corbin then meets with Slater & Rhyno, and says that he crunched numbers and one of them has to go. He says one can quit and save the other. Slater says he has kids, and he can’t quit. Corbin books a match between them and the loser is fired.
Bobby Roode vs. Drake Maverick Roode & Gable vs. AOP & Maverick: Gable & AOP are banned from ringside; if Roode wins, he and Gable get a tag title shot. Roode apparently only owns one robe as he comes out without a robe tonight. Maverick throws his vest at Roode, so Roode kicks the shit out of him as we see AOP beating down Gable. Corbin makes this a 3 on 2 handicap match. Roode hits the glorious DDT and AOP make the save. They beat down Roode, Gable slowly makes his way to the ring, he fights with all he has, but is quickly cut off by double teams. The super collider follows, and Maverick tags in and pins Roode. AOP & Maverick defeated Roode & Gable @ 3:31 via pin [*] More overbooked heel authority crap and the AOP’s tag title run continues to be a complete joke.
The Inoculated Dean Ambrose Arrives: Riot squad dudes accompany Ambrose to the ring as they all wear gas masks. Ambrose does his best Vader impersonation and tries to promo with the mask on, “Theatricality and deception are powerful agents to the uninitiated… but we are initiated, aren’t we Seth? Members of the League of Shadows!”. He runs down the city and fans as diseased. He takes off the mask and says he was viciously attacked by Rollins. He riled Rollins up, noting that Rollins is needy. Rollins always has to have control and have things be his way. Rollins and the fans are weak and needy. The Shield used to be something to be proud of, but Seth &Roman wanted to be role models. They chant for Roman and Ambrose says life sucks and you don’t get what you want. They changed, they sold out, but Ambrose has never changed and still has his integrity. He made the mistake of trusting people, but no longer, he’s now WWE’s moral compass. At TLC, he will make Rollins lose control of everything, including the IC Title. That will fall safely into Ambrose’s hands. Rollins arrives and takes out the riot geeks and dumps Ambrose to the floor. He takes out the riot geeks as Ambrose tries to run and they brawl into the crowd. Ambrose finally uses a gas mask to cut off Rollins, and beats him down at ringside. Ambrose hits dirty deeds on the floor and stands tall. The geeks roll Rollins back in the ring and Ambrose hits dirty deeds again. Once we got past the wacky Dean and his inoculation bullshit, this was a good segment, playing off of recent weeks and building to the upcoming TLC Match.
– They keep asking Renee questions, she has no answers, and gets pissed that they are invading her privacy.
– Tamina & Nia Jax are informed that Ember Moon will be teaming with Ronda Rousey tonight. Jax intimidates Charly, and they plan to take out Ronda & Ember. Jax says she will rearrange Moon’s face just like she did with Becky Lynch, and will then torture Ronda ahead of getting her championship back.
Heath Slater vs. Rhyno: Rhyno attacks at the bell and works over Slater. Rhyno controls with ease until Slater sidesteps him and hits a neck breaker for the win. Heath Slater defeated Rhyno @ 1:15 via pin [NR] I love that they went to the trouble of setting up this angle to give them 75-seconds. At least Rhyno has his marina in Monroe, Michigan, which he named Big Daddy’s Boat Yard.
– Corbin claps for Slater keeping his job, and then makes him a referee.
Finn Balor vs. Jinder Mahal: Mahal overpowers Balor right away, works him over in the corner, and hits a back elbow. Mahal grounds things under a minute in, stuns Balor off the ropes, and Mahal does his shanty bullshit. Post break, and Mahal has things grounded again. Balor fights back, picks up the pace and hits the standing double stomp. The enziguri and sling blade connect, Balor hits John Wooooo and the Singhs get involved and cut off the double stomp. Apollo Crews takes them out, Mahal attacks him and Balor hits a tope on Mahal. Back in, John Woooooo, double stomp, and Mahal is done. Finn Balor defeated Jinder Mahal @ 7:30 via pin [**¼] This was ok, the right man won, and the babyface actually got to stand tall; it’s been an oddly good night for Balor.
– It was a good night for Balor until Drew attacks and kicks his ass backstage.
– We get a Lars Sullivan video package.
Ronda Rousey & Ember Moon vs. Tamina & Nia Jax: Rousey is jumped as Moon makes her entrance. Moon arrives and she and Rousey clear the ring and run wild. Post break, and the heels have taken control, isolating Moon. Moon fires back, tags in Rousey and they work double teams on Tamina, and Moon covers for 2. Jax distracts Moon and Tamina hits a superkick for 2. Jax tags in and works over Moon with body shots and head butts. Moon counters a powerbomb with a RANA, but Jax knocks Rousey to the floor to stop the tag. Tamina runs into Jax, and Moon hits an enziguri and gets the tag. Rousey runs wild on Tamina, and she wants Jax. Tamina tags her in and Jax tags back out. Rousey drags her back in and then works over Tamina. Rousey hits something, it was supposed to be a kick but it didn’t go well. It breaks down, takedown by Rousey, eclipse by Moon, and Rousey arm bars Tamina for the win. Ronda Rousey & Ember Moon defeated Tamina & Nia Jax @ 7:30 via submission [*½] This was really rough, Moon & Rousey looked good, but Jax and particularly Tamina were bad.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
~GLORIOUS~
