The Top 8 Bad Versions of Good Games

Welcome all to another edition of The 8 Ball! This week I’m here to talk about good games that turned out bad. This is usually the result of a bad port job, due to inexperience with the new system, lack of budget, lack of technical skill and so on. So I’m here to talk about some of the worse versions of good, to great, games. I only have one PC game on this list, otherwise it could get bogged down with a bunch of lazy PC ports. Let’s begin:

#8: Saints Row 2 (PC)

The Metacritic rating on Saints Row 2 for consoles is about 83% positive. For PC it’s at 71%, which is a bit of a decline and, of course, that’s the version I played. While the game is semi-functional enough, it has some really wonky gamepad support that doesn’t have the usual Xbox 360 gamepad buttons. So instead of “Press A to run and press X to reload” it goes “Press the 3 button to run and press button 5 to reload”, since older-style gamepads had numbers on them. Keyboard and mouse support isn’t any better. I know a former Volition developer was trying to get a new patch of the game out there but I think he passed away a few years ago, and with Volition also deceased, a “correct” version of this game on PC isn’t going to happen.

#7: Bayonetta/Skyrim (PS3)

In the 360/PS3 era, multiplatform games generally managed to be more or less the same. Some games like FF13 clearly were better on PS3, while the 360 version of Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is better than the PS3 version. Those examples are fairly minor though. What wasn’t minor was both Bayonetta and Skyrim basically launching all-but-broken on PS3. Both games were unoptimized as hell. Skyrim, at launch, had a neat memory leak so if your save game got too big, the game would chug like a train. Bayonetta just had a worse framerate overall, along with slowdown. The various companies did manage to stabilize these games but they still weren’t as good as the 360 versions.

#6: Gex: Enter The Gecko (N64)

I’ll state that sometime N64 ports are magical. Resident Evil 2 being the obvious one, but Starcraft and Mega Men Legends are solid enough as well. What wasn’t entirely solid was Enter the Gecko. While it did play more or less the same as the PS1 version, it massively reduced the draw distance of the game and filled it with fog. So instead of a decent Mario 64 style platformer, it looks like you’re playing as Gex while he is in Silent Hill. It’s harder to actually see the goals or collectibles that you are trying to grab, which makes it a more frustrating experience, overall.

#5: Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy – The Definitive Edition

The original PS2 era GTA games, GTA 3, Vice City, and San Andreas are all still great. Even when on other consoles like the original Xbox, or even on mobile devices (originally) they held up. This “Definitive” Edition, however, does not hold up. It had bad graphical effects, the personality of each game was gone and had a lot of AI upscaling stuff that proved that AI is bad without someone guiding it. It’s only within the past month or so that they released a patch to get each game in a functional state, which is nice, however it took them three years to get to this point. If you want to play these games, best to hunt down the older versions and play those instead.

#4: X-Men vs. Street Fighter (PlayStation 1)

On the surface, this game looks great. It’s as colorful and fast as the arcade version. Then you press the “tag character” button and it falls apart. What it nominally a 2 vs. 2 fighting game becomes 1 vs. 1, due to limits with the PlayStation 1 RAM, which needed more. So it’s not a tag game, but just a normal fighter. They do have a faux-tag mode, but it’s just you picking two fighters and going up against the mirror versions. So if you pick Ryu and Cyclops, you go up against Cyclops and Ryu, since it’s all the PS1 could handle. The Sega Saturn version needed an extra RAM cartridge to even play the game but it was a very good port, at least.

#3: Dead Rising (Wii)

In a word: yeesh. Capcom, in their infinite wisdom, decided to port Dead Rising to the Wii, three years after the Xbox 360 version. However, it omitted small things like the story timer, or photo mode, or really, exploring while on missions. You know, the things that die-hard Dead Rising fans don’t care about at all. Even the basic melee combat is pretty dumbed-down since they want you to use guns more, which was never really a focal point in Dead Rising. This version could barely even get a few dozen zombies on the screen which is a far cry from the hundred plus the 360 version could manage.

#2: Cruis’n Blast (Nintendo Switch)

I legitimately feel bad for anyone who owns a copy of this game. I’ve really enjoyed the arcade version and years ago saw this game on sale and almost bought it. Then I looked at video of it. That desire to purchase it went away. While the game has basically the same tracks/cars as the arcade version, the impressive sense of speed has been toned way down and the visual fidelity and sense of beauty was pretty much gone. It also just looks a lot more drab and uninspired. Sadly, “Cruis’n” is a Nintendo-owned franchise so the chance of seeing this on something that could actually run it, is nil.

#1: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Sega Saturn)

This is actually the reason for this column topic. I recently picked up “Akumajou Dracula X: Gekka no Yasoukyoku” for the Sega Saturn, which is the Japanese port of Castlevania: SOTN to the system. To say it’s shocking, is an understatement. A playable, and unique, Maria to the game is cool and there are a few more areas to explore that are unique to this version but that is where the good ends. To get into the status screen takes about 5.5 seconds, there is some massive slowdown early on with the Richter vs. Dracula fight

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For comments, list which bad versions of good games you like, and what is wrong with them.

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Top 8 Games I Wish I Reviewed in 2024