Dunn’s Countdown To The Rumble: Royal Rumble (1998)

So, WCW has just blown off the biggest feud in their history — one that took a year-and-a-half to build. Your top star just took a walk to the competition in one of the most controversial matches in the history of wrestling. What do you do?!

Royal Rumble 1998 — January 18, 1998

Live from San Jose, Cali.

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

TAFKA Golddust (w/Luna Vachon) vs. Vader.

TAFKA Golddust is coming off a bad breakup with wife Marlena (Terri Runnels). This led to weeks of Golddust’s attention-getting antics, culminating in hitting Vader over the head with a coconut. Golddust jumps him as he gets in the ring. Vader avalanches him and beats the crap out of him on the floor. Big “Vader” chant. Vader was really over for the early part of his face run. Unfortunately, he would get jobbed out before resurrecting his career in Japan. Luna grabs his foot, distracting Vader long enough for Golddust to hit a clothesline. Golddust drops an elbow to Vader’s ample gut. Luna gets in a few shots. Golddust mounts Vader in the corner to lay in some punches. He kisses Vader, prompting the big man to spin him around with a clothesline. Vader gets two off a splash. He goes up for the pump splash, but Golddust low blows him while Luna distracts the ref. Vader splashes him on a sunset flip attempt and sets up for the pump splash again. Luna jumps on Vader’s back to prevent the pump splash, but Vader does it anyway and gets the pin at 7:51. Luna took a pretty wicked bump there because she’s a professional with a dedication to her craft. *

Michael Cole tries to get a word with the arriving “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Austin mistakes him for valet and tells him to park his car. The Godwinns demand to know where Austin went. See, Austin was such a renegade that he pissed off everyone, heel and face alike.

Battalion, Tarantula & El Torrito vs. Max Mini, Nova & Mosaic.

Sunny is the special guest during her “Christy Hemme” just-find-something-for-her-to-do phase. Nova starts out with Tarantula. Nova is not the man currently known as Simon Dean. They all go through a series of impressive armdrags as Ross and King exhaust their “He’s so short…” encyclopedias. Someone in the crowd chants “boring,” but they speak Spanish, so what do they care. I’m not entirely convinced Battalion isn’t Tazz. Tarantula bails and begs away from Max Mini. Lawler says Mini tried to commit suicide by jumping off a curb. Sunny gets involved to a big pop. They hit a series of “high” spots to the outside, ending with an Asai Moonsault by Nova. Max Mini cradles Torrito for the win at 7:49. I don’t remember anyone really talking about it at the time, but I’m pretty sure pushing the minis as luchadoritas was Vince’s way of saying “fuck you” to WCW’s cruiser division. Not a bad spotfest actually. **

The Nation of Domination bust into Austin’s locker room, but they only find a foam middle finger.

We see Vince and Shane McMahon (before he was really “on TV”) sitting with Mike Tyson.

Recap of Ken Shamrock’s problems with the Nation of Domination, leading to his partner Mark Henry turning on him and joining the Nation.

Intercontinental Championship: Rocky Maivia vs. Ken Shamrock.

Big “Rocky Sucks!” chant from the crowd. Rock pushes Shamrock to the corner but misses his cheapshot. Another cheapshot attempt is blocked. Shamrock catches him coming off the ropes with a muay thai roundhouse kick and sends Rocky over the top with a punch. Back in, Rock hits a stiff corner clothesline and talks trash. Shamrock comes back with his own, but Rock counters a huracanrana to a hotshot. Rock stomps away. Shamrock comes back with a flying crossbody and a Fisherman’s Suplex for two. To the outside, Rocky rams Shamrock’s face into the ring steps. Back in, Rock busts out the float-over DDT for two. Shamrock elbows out of a chinlock. Rock goes for another float-over DDT, but Shamrock counters to a Northern Lights Suplex. Powerslam by Shamrock! ONE, TWO, TH–NO! Shamrock fires away with punches. He finally does get that huracanrana, bringing Kama Mustafa and D’Lo Brown down to ringside. Shamrock takes them both out, tying D’Lo in the ropes in the process. Rock busts out the brass knuckles and POPS Shamrock with them. He hides them in Shamrock’s tights for good measure. ONE, TWO, THRE—NOOO!!! The ref goes back to getting D’Lo untied as Shamrock plants Rocky with a belly-to-belly suplex. ONE, TWO, THREE! Shamrock picks up the win and his first Intercontinental Title at 10:54. Oh, but wait! Rocky tells the ref to check Shamrock’s tights. The ref finds the brass knuckles and reverses his decision, handing the IC Title back to the Rock. This pretty much set the tone for the Rock/Shamrock feud. **1/4

To the back, Rock is unlacing his boots when Shamrock jumps him, screaming about how Rock cost him the title. WWF officials break up the fight as the Rock yells for them to “get that piece of shit out of here.”

Los Boriquas jump Austin in the locker room, but it turns out to be Skull of the Disciples of the Apocalypse.

Recap of the New Age Outlaws attacking and humiliating the Legion of Doom. They team up with DX to powerbomb Animal through the announce table. Animal screams a lot about it.

WWF Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. the Legion of Doom.

Road Dogg had not yet perfected his intro for maximum pop. The NAO attack from behind, but Road Dogg gets hit with a powerbomb. Billy makes the save, and the champs take a walk. The LOD chase them down and pull them back to the ring. Road Dogg bleeds from the mouth. Hawk delivers a neckbreaker to Road Dogg. He gets distracted by Billy, though, and Road Dogg is able to make the tag. Hawk locks in an STF. Okay, if a Crossface Chickenwing is abbreviated CFCW, why isn’t a Stepover Toehold Crossface abbreviated STCF? I know, I know, STFU and recap the match. Road Dogg cheapshots Animal on the outside. On the inside, the NAO doubleteam Hawk, but he comes back with a double clothesline. Road Dogg handcuffs Hawk to the ringpost, leaving Animal as easy pickings. Animal catches Gunn with a powerslam, but Road Dogg hits him in the already-injured back with a chair for the lame DQ at 7:55. Hawk breaks the handcuffs and makes the save. Pretty bad. 1/2*

Recap of Austin causing mayhem and pissing on everyone’s leg, setting up the major story for tonight.

Royal Rumble Match.

Cactus Jack is #1. He brings a couple of garbage cans with him cuz HE’S HARDCORE! Speaking of hardcore, Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) is #2, carrying a chainsaw to the ring. Cactus bails and throws some chairs into the ring. They do some silly chairshot dueling as the ref slides in to get the chainsaw out of there. Charlie asks for a chairshot, and Cactus gives him one. Cactus hands him the chair and asks to receive his own. Tom Brandi is #3. Cactus and Chainsaw team up to toss him right off the bat. Brandi would disappear not long after and resurface in All Japan as the Patriot II. Cactus sets up some chairs and suplexes Charlie through them. Rocky Maivia is #4. He attacks both guys, who have weakened each other. Cactus puts a trash can on Maivia’s head and they spin him around with punches. Cactus sends him between the ropes with a chairshot. Headbanger Mosh is #5. Charlie throws a chair at him. Rock and Cactus go at it in a preview of the following year’s title match. Charlie goes up and misses a moonsault. That’s just stupid to begin with. Lawler: Look at the guys in the ring. I feel like calling “Unsolved Mysteries” and saying, ‘I found everybody!'”

Phineas I. Godwinn is #6. He and Mosh go at it in an extension of the Headbangers/Godwinns feud. Charlie lays in to Rocky with a series of chops. 8-Ball is #7. Cactus goes for the Cactus Clothesline, but Charlie ducks. Cactus goes over the top as the second elimination. Lawler and his “source in the back” inform us that someone has gotten to Steve Austin. Future World Champion Blackjack Bradshaw is #8. I actually liked the New Blackjacks. Too bad injuries and an outdated gimmick derailed them. Owen Hart is #9, but Jeff Jarrett and Jim Cornette attack him from behind and hit him with a tennis racket shot. I remember Jarrett being an NWA representative, but I don’t remember why he’d be pissed at Owen. Steve Blackman is #10. He knocks Chainsaw Charlie out, but Charlie skins-the-cat back in. Mosh falls victim to a Clothesline from Hell as 8-Ball piledrives Chainsaw.

D’Lo Brown is #11. He and Rocky doubleteam Bradshaw, then D’Lo turns on Rocky. Kurrgan is #12. Sure he sucked, but just look at him! He was a total badass. Kinda like Ludvig Borga. Kurrgan tosses Mosh and goes after Blackman. Marc Mero is #13. Sable gets a big pop. Mero fires away at Blackman. Bradshaw and Kurrgan go at it. Kurrgan takes a break from that to send Blackman out. Rocky is abusing D’Lo. Ken Shamrock is #14. He softens up Kurrgan’s legs and sends him down with a roundhouse kick. Everyone teams up to eliminate Kurrgan. Headbanger Thrasher is #15. D’Lo chokes the Rock down in the corner. Bradshaw tags Thrasher with the Clothesline from Hell. Big “Sable” chant.

Mankind is #16. He knocks out Chainsaw Charlie. Bradshaw fights off Thrasher from the apron. Golddust is #17. Bradshaw hits Mankind with a Clothesline from Hell. Lot of that going around. Mankind and Golddust go at it. Shamrock and Rocky fight in the corner as Mero fishes for accolades. Golddust eliminates Mankind. Jeff Jarrett is #18, coming in as the NWA North American Champion. Who knew he’d wind up being the NWA World Heavyweight Champion? Owen Hart returns and goes right after Jarrett. Jarrett sends Owen over the top, but Owen skins-the-cat back in and tosses Jarrett to a HUGE pop. Honkytonk Man is #19. Triple H and Chyna come down to doubleteam Owen with Helmsley’s crutches. They pull Owen out. Vader? Who’s Vader? Rock eliminates Shamrock in here somewhere. Ahmed Johnson is #20, winding down his once-promising career.

Mark Henry is #21. He goes after Ahmed. Wow, there are a lot of guys in there. Too many to do anything. Henry tosses powder into Ahmed’s eyes. The bell rings for #22, but no one comes. Henry and D’Lo eliminate Ahmed. Henry tosses Phineas by himself. Kama is #23, picking a fight with Ahmed on the way down. For some reason, Kama goes after D’Lo. No wonder the Nation imploded. Steve Austin is #24. Eveyrone stops what they’re doing and turns toward the entrance. Austin comes from the crowd and tosses Marc Mero. Everyone jumps him, but he fights them off and eliminates 8-Ball. D’Lo attacks from behind as Austin is assaulting Thrasher. Austin chokes him down with his jacket. Henry O. Godwinn is #25. He goes after Austin too.

Savio Vega at #26 and las Boriquas run down and attack Austin. Only Savio gets to stay, but that’s okay because Austin whips all their asses. Farooq is #27. He goes after the rest of the Nation members. Again, no wonder they tossed him from the group. Austin and Rock go through the middle ropes and continue their fight on the floor. Dude Love is #28. He knocks out Bradshaw. Six years later, they would debate election issues. Rocky hits D’Lo with a People’s Elbow. Austin jumps him with a series of fierce punches. Chainz is #29. He tries to get Henry out. Farooq backdrops D’Lo out. Henry chokes Austin. Vader draws #30. He and Golddust brawl. Vader sends Honkytonk Man flying. Austin backdrops Thrasher out. Kama tries, and now he gets backdropped out. Savio attempts a piledriver, but Austin backdrops him and tosses him out. Golddust clotheslines Vader out in retaliation for their earlier match. HOG misses a charge at Dude Love and goes out. Chainz tosses Golddust. Austin backdrops chains all the way out to the ring steps. Farooq and Rocky eliminate Mark Henry.

Austin, Rocky, Dude Love & Farooq are your final four. Austin and Dude team up and go toe-to-toe with the heels. SWEET SHIN MUSIC! Austin doublecrosses Dude, but Dude grabs the Mandible Claw. He kicks Dude in the giblets to counter. Dude Love is so stunned that Farooq is able to clothesline him out. Rocky waits until Farooq has his back turned and eliminates him. That leaves Rock and Austin in a precursor to the following year’s Royal Rumble. Austin tosses Rock, but Rocky lands on the apron and sneaks back in. Austin sees him coming, gives him a Stunner, and eliminates Rocky for real. Austin picks up his second consecutive Rumble win. Kind of cluttered, but they managed to squeeze in numerous storylines, making for a decent enough match. **1/2

Mike Tyson tells Michael Cole that “Cold Stoned” is the man.

Recap of the Taker vs. HBK feud and how Kane fits into all of this.

WWF Heavyweight Title, Casket Match: Shawn Michaels (w/Triple H & Chyna) vs. Undertaker.

BREAK IT DOWN! Now THAT’S good entrance music! Don’t pretend you didn’t walk around your house doing the crotch chop. Michaels fires away in the corner, but stops to gloat, and Taker chokeslams him into the corner. Taker catches him in a choke lift. Michaels escapes a press slam, but Taker backdrops him over, clipping his lower back on the edge of the coffin. Taker press slams him on the outside and boots him into the coffin. Michaels jumps out almost as fast as he went in. Back in, Michaels runs right into a soupbone. Taker hits the ropewalk forearm. Michaels takes out a cameraman as Taker whips him over the top. Michaels snaps Taker’s neck off the top but falls victim to a powerslam on the way back in. Taker rolls him into the casket, but Michaels gets his hands up to block the lid. Taker opens the casket up, and Michaels tosses powder in his eyes. Michaels moonsaults onto the Taker and clotheslines him out. Taker pulls him out and rams him into the ring barrier. Shawn reverses a whip, sending Taker’s knees into the ring steps. Michaels one-ups himself by piledriving Taker on the steps. SICK! Triple H takes a few shots with his crutches. Back in, Michaels delivers a reverse elbow and stomps Taker in the face. Taker fights his way out of the casket, even taking a moment to tag Helmsley with a shot. Michaels grabs a sleeper. Taker fades but suplexes out of it. Michaels hits the flying elbow and kip up. ELBOW DROP! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Michaels rolls Undertaker to the coffin, but Taker grabs a handful of nuts and sends Michaels all the way into the ring with a roundhouse left. Michaels runs into a big boot. Taker misses the flying clothesline and lands in the casket. Michaels goes up to the top rope and dives onto Taker with an elbow drop. The coffin lid closes, but since both guys are in there, the match must continue. Back in, Shawn avoids a big boot, but runs right into a chokeslam. Taker brings Michaels to the apron and TOMBSTONES HIM INTO THE CASKET! Chyna, sensing the end is near, rams the ref into the ring steps. The New Age Outlaws and Las Boriquas run in to attack the Undertaker. Of course, that brings Kane down to make the save. But then Kane turns on the Undertaker and chokeslams him into the coffin. DX closes the lid to retain at 20:35. Kane and Bearer padlock Taker in the casket and light it on fire. Of course, when the WWF officials open the casket, Taker is gone. The whole thing plays like a smarter (and more believable) take on the 1994 casket match. ***3/4

Final Thoughts: After a month or so of staggering around, wondering what to do about Bret leaving, the WWF decided to get serious about pushing Austin and it obviously worked. The Rumble itself is okay. This was the beginning of Russo-style booking in earnest. Gone were the days of one guy hating another guy, building to a blowoff. Here you have Rocky feuding with Shamrock, who is challenging for the IC Title. Rocky feuding with Austin, who threw his title in the river. Rocky feuding with Farooq over control of the Nation. And, of course, all of those feuds intertwine. The title match was good, but only served to bridge the DX and Kane feuds. All things considered, a pretty good show.

Mild recommendation for Royal Rumble 1998.

J.D. Dunn