Join 411’s Live AEW Collision Coverage

Hey kids! Steve Cook here, and there are few things in pro wrestling that get my excitement level higher than a brand new TV show. I remember where I was for the first WWF Monday Night Raw, the first WWF SmackDown, the first WCW Monday Nitro, the first AEW Dynamite. Heck, I remember where I was for the first ECW on TNN! So when I heard that AEW was debuting a new Saturday night program and I saw that my schedule was clear that evening, I let the 411 higher-ups know that if they needed somebody to recap & review the show for the masses, I’d be their huckleberry.

Sir Elton John lets us know that Saturday Night is all right for fighting! Kevin Kelly lets us know he’s here with Nigel McGuinness, and the fans chant for CM Punk. CM Punk’s music plays, and here is the Straight Edge Savior! Dasha Gonzalez introduces him to the few Chicagoans that didn’t know who he was. Punk tells us he’s tired of being nice. Gone for 10 months, but he’s still here, but as long as he’s still here this is the professional wrestling business. Never been a popularity contest. He wants to have a conversation about his past. He talks about all the buildings he’s sold out. He’s tired of being nice. He puts over the Chicago wrestling fans. He loves them because they love him. There are some people that hate him for the same reasons the people love him. He is the truth, and the truth is painful. Boo him, cheer him, love him, hate him, you all know he’s right. He’s the one true genuine article in a business full of haters & marks. He’s got a lot of things to get off of his chest. Why would he change? He will always speak truth to power, he will never compromise. There are people that they they are owed an apology. He’s sorry that the only people more offended are the wrestlers you like. Tell me when you think I’m telling lies! He’s got a bag in his hand. He won a dog collar match, so he’s got a bag. He’s also got some shoes in his hands, but nobody can fill those shoes.

TNT Championship Match: Wardlow (c) vs. Luchasaurus (w/Christian Cage): Arn Anderson is not here due to an attack on Dynamite. Tie up goes nowhere. They trade shoulderblocks & Wardlow wins. Christian whispers to Luchasaurus on the outside. Wardlow chases Christian around the ring. Christian distracts Wardlow on the apron leading to a big boot from Luchasaurus. Wardlow gets sent into the steps. Luchasaurus works Wardlow over in the ring. Big superkick from Saurus as we go to picture in a picture. Luchasaurus keeps on with the offense while I try to act interested. We return, Wardlow drops Luchasaurus on that electric chair. Wardlow with a clothesline, drives Luchasaurus into the corner. Wardlow with another spear in the corner. Wardlow going up top, gets crotched. Saurus choke slams him to the mat for two. Wardlow blocks the choke, gets elbowed, strike exchange now. Wardlow wins. Goes for the powrbomb, lands one. I think some more are coming! Christian is losing his mind at ringside. Luchasaurus counters with a chokeslam for two after Christian’s distraction. Wardlow goes up top, hits an Alabama Jam! Christian keeps with the distracting. Christian hits Wardlow with a foreign object, and Luchasaurus gets the pin? No! Stop!

Winner: Luchasaurus (10:42 via pinfall)

Lexy Nair is with Will Hobbs & QT Marshall. The Book of Hobbs is continuing on.

Buddy Matthews (w/Julia Hart) vs. Andrade El Idolo: Buddy gets the HOB entrance & Andrade gets some pyro for his entrance. Kinda wild! The two Wellness-proof boys square off! They trade shoulderblocks since they’re big boys. Buddy whips Andrade into the ropes and he does his trademark pose. Andrade kicks Buddy off the apron and hits a cartwheel into a moonsault. Not long after, Buddy chucks Andrade into the first row. But then Andrade ranas Buddy into the guardrail. Cover gets two. Andrade sent into the guardrail, back in the ring Buddy hits a Meteora for two. Buddy sells his knee as we go picture in picture. I must put Kevin Kelly over here for being several thousand times better at pbp so far. Andrade down on the floor as we return to full picture. He returns before the 10 count. Buddy with some kicks. Andrade with a legscrew. Flying forearm! Nipup from Andrade. Standing moonsault gets two. Andrade motions for the hammerlock DDT, then gets dumped on his head as a counter for two. Buddy goes up top, Andrade meets him there. Buddy still selling that knee, which gives out on a powerbomb, and Andrade kicks him into the corner. Andrade runs into a strike from Buddy that gets 2. Buddy with a reverse cloverleaf, but Andrade reverses that into the Figure 4. He makes it a Figure 8 & Buddy taps!

Winner: Andrade El Idolo (13:00 via submission)

The lights go out, and the rest of the House of Black is in the ring! They lay Andrade out.

We get a video hyping Scorpio Sky! I almost forgot he existed!

Miro vs. Tony Nese (w/Mark Sterling): Thank Jeebus. Nese launched into this ridiculous nonsese and I hoped it would end in Miro crushing him, and that’s what we’re getting. MIRO CRUSH! Nese talks a lot of stuff and walks out of the ring. He tries, but it fails. Miro stomps a mudhole and walks it dry. Clotheslines the man out of his boots. 10 Beats of the Balon for Nese. Nese does hit the Macho Man rope clothesline, but gets a Last Call for his trouble. Sterling gets knocked off the apron, then Nese hits some moves but gets dump trucked. MACHA KICK! Time to break his ass and make him humble! It’s GAME OVER!

Winner: Miro (3:20)

I’m kind of pissed because Nese & Sterling made it last longer than 3:00, the proper time for a squash.

Willow Nightingale & Skye Blue vs. Toni Storm & Ruby Soho: The Outcasts attack at ringside, and the faces react proper. Willow & Skye are matching and it works. Willow works Ruby over in the ring, but Ruby takes a shortcut and takes over as we go to picture in picture. We retuen and Willow gets an advantage. Tag to Skye! She & Toni square off. Skye with a big kick, gets launched to the apron, a crossbody gets two. Toni with a Cloverlaf on Skye. Skye keeps fighting & gets the ropes. Willow tags back in. SHE PULLS THE STRAPS DOWN. Doesn’t seem to matter as Skye gets Germaned into the corner & assblasted. Willow comes back, hits a DVD on Toni! Skye hits the Code Blue on Ruby and gets a three count!

Winners: Willow Nightingale & Skye Blue (8:36 via pinfall)

Ricky Starks tells us he’ll be entering the Owen Hart Tournament. Seems like a proper thing for him to do.

We get a video from Jeff Jarrett challenging Mark Briscoe to a proper brawl. I’d like to see that!

Tony Schiavone is in the ring to introduce The Accliamed. Max Caster lands some bombs, then Anthony Bowens tells us that The Acclaimed have arrived. Billy got himself a new scissor outfit. AEW stands for Accliamed Every Wednesday & Acclaimed Every Weekend. Bowens points out how Chicago made the Acclaimed the People’s Choice, and that Everybody Loves The Acclaimed. Lotta scissoring going on in Chicago!

CM Punk & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) vs. Jay White, Juice Robinson & Samoa Joe: Jim Ross joins Kevin & Nigel on commentary for this match. White & Harwood start. White begs off into the corner. Harwood with a nearfall, White with a chop. Some shots exchanged. Dax wins that battle. Clotheslines in the corner. Dax goes for the Sharpshooter, Jay begs off. Juice tags in & he’s all over Dax. Cash tags in & the mood changes. Backslide gets two. Jucie slams Cash. Cash with the Gorilla Press! Tag to Dax, then tag to Punk! A very near-fall on Juice on that suplex. Joe tags in because he wants all of CM Punk. LET’S GO! Joe takes Punk into the corner, some chops. Punk with a headlock! We go PIP as Punk gets a headlock takeover. We return & Punk & Cash want a tag, but Jay White is working Dax over. Joe tags in and beats the crap out of Dax. Jay & Juice go back on that offensive. Dax with a German on Juice! Cash tags in & he goes all ham. Gets a couple of near-falls on Juice, Punk tags in, drops an elbow for two. Punk with a backbreaker, tag to Cash as we go back to that PIP. We return while Joe stretches Cash out in a half crab. Tag to Juice. Juice with a back suplex to Cash, then back to that rear positioning, Joe tags in, he’s all over Cash. Juice tagged back in, got suplexed. Jay almost prevented the tag, but Punk got it. Punk’s got neckbreakers for Jay & Juice. Bulldog. Punk motions for the GTS. White breaks out. Punk takes him down, goes up top, the elbowdrop is broken up. White with a urinagi for two on Punk. Blade Runner blocked, Punk takes White down. Power Plex with an elbow from Punk! Too much stuff going on in the ring, so it got broken up. Joe & Punk face off! I am here for this! Everybody else runs in and it’s a mess. Punk with a knee to Joe in the corner, Joe responds with the choke! We’ve got some holding from BC Gold! FTR eventually breaks it up. Juice gets his head kicked off, eats the Big Rig from FTR, then the GTS. That’s all she wrote.

Winners: CM Punk & FTR (25:10 via pinfall)

CM Punk & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) vs. Jay White, Juice Robinson & Samoa Joe: Jim Ross joins Kevin & Nigel for this match.
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