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Hello everyone, it is me, the man who eliminates last names from WWE Superstars, and I’m ready for another night of Dynamite!

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AEW starting hot with CM Punk! The crowd is pretty pro-MJF. Punk decides to fall in line and goes heel, saying the Jersey hockey team sucks. Is this what they want? What MJF wants? That’s’ their guy? Punk isn’t mad, he just feels a bit sorry for MJF. Punk says he has his eyes set on the championship match next week, and Punk wants next, and he’s gotta believe that MJF does too, but there’s something between the two of them, and they gotta settle it. Punk challenges again, saying he doesn’t want MJF to run, he wants him to stand and fight like they do in Chicago. There’s no out. MJF v Punk. He’ll do it tonight. MJF calls the entire crowd chicken shit.

Admittedly, an odd choice to make Punk lean into the heel heat. Not to say they didn’t feel like they had to, but I just think MJF is talented enough to make even his hometown hate him.

WE come back, and MJF gets a video package introduction going over his accolades, such as a 1 minute chug and pulling chicks.

Match 1: AEW Dynamite Diamond Ring Battle Royal
Lethal is quick to almost get rid of MJF, but he lands into the arms of Spears on the outside. Sydal gets some kicks in and sends MJF over the top rope, but Spears is there to spin him back in. Wardlow has Lee up in the air and sends him flying. Lethal and Hardy are going at it and Bunny gives Matt some brass knucks! Matt clocks Lethal then sends him over the top rope. Matt Hardy celebrates and Dante sends him over the top rope. Dante and Lio Rush meet in the middle of the ring, but Wardlow is there and so is Hobbs! The big guys meet in the middle of the ring! Tackle from Hobs. Tackle from Wardlow. Wardlow sends Hobbs ove the ropes! Wardlow hits a right, Hobbs blocked, springboard from Lio sends Hobbs off the apron!!! Starks is here though, and he sends Lio over the ropes. Lio lands on the apron!

WE come back and MJF is hyped in the corner behind Wardlow. Crowd loves him. We are left with Starks, Martin, Rush, Kazarian, and

Lio heads straight for MJF and the crowd hates him for it. Wardlow grabs Lio,GOOZLE! Another to Johnson! Dante with a dropkick to Wardlow!!! Rush, Johnsno, and Wardlow are up against the ropes! MJF eliminates ALL THREE OF THEM!!!

Kazarian rushes MJF. MJF holds the ropes! Kaz oes over the top! WE got Starks and Dante Martin vs MJF.

The lights flicker red and blue for some reason. No one mentions it.

MJF is in the corner. DANTE SENDS STARKS OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!

MJF to the corner! He is all smiles!!! He mocks Punk.

It looks like we got Dante vs MJF next week…?

Winner: Dante Martin and MJF
Foolishly, I did not know this was essentially a Number One Contender’s Match and was a bit confused at the end. After the fuzz left, I’m intrigued with the MJF v Martin match, even if it looks like MJF gets his third win (and rightfully so). It’s hard to impress me with a Battle Royal, and although this one didn’t do much, I do enjoy how more often than not, we see matches like these give start to mini programs (such as Hardy vs Lethal).
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 8:38

Dante Martin stands in the ring with MJF. MJF extends his hand, tells him to shake it. Dante shakes it. MJF holds the hand high of Dante Martin. MJF leaves the ring.

Starks enters the ring and beats down Dante Martin! MJF watches at the top of the ramp. He decides to leave. Starks continues to stomp him out. MJF stops at the top. He turns, asks the crowd what to do. Then he makes a b-line for the ring!!! He faces Starks head to head. Slap to the chest.THEN THEY BOTH BEAT DOWN ON DANTE MARTIN!!!!

Here COMES PUNK!!! HE SLIDES IN AND MJF SLIDES OUT! Starks is left in the ring to stare down Punk. Dante with an enziguri! Go2Sleep!!!

Martin leaves the ring with Punk while Taz screams how he breached the contract they signed.

Match 2: Jurassic Express and Varsity Blondes vs The Acclaimed and 2.0
JB and Bowens to start. Lockup! Go behind from JB. Reverse, side headlock from Bowens. TO the ropes, JB shoots him off, hard shoulder tackle. Bowens hits the ropes, leap frog, kick is missed, Jb spins Bowens, Bowens hits a chop. Tag to 2.0, JB locks hands with both, arm drags both, they slide to the outside with The Acclaimed. Tag to Pillman, who tags in Garison. Pillman with a dropkick through the ropes! Garrison hits the ropes and flies over th top rope to the outside on all four men.

Back in the ring with Max, Pillman hits a few chops then dropkicks the raised Max by Garrison. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Brian, who hits a chop. Another. Right hands in the corner, Bowens tries to interfere but Pillman punches him, only for Bowens to grab the leg and Max to send him off the corner. Lee sends Pillman back into the ring and the heels corner Pillman with boots. Tag to Bowens. Lee celebrates in the corner while Parker barks at Pillman. Bowens with abunch of elbows. Tag to Lee. Lee kicks, sends Pillman into the ropes, hits an elbow. Cover for 1…NO!! Lee smacks Pillman around a bit, pulling on the hair. He locks the head, whips Pillman into the corner back first. Tag to Parker. Dropkick off the whip. Tag to Max, who drops an elbow to the back of the neck. Cover for 1..2..N!O!! Max sends Pillman to the corner. Tag to Parker who sends Griff off the apron. Right hand, elbow to the back of the head of Pillman. Pillman shoves Parker to the corner, Lee tags himself in, lock up but Pillman spins out of it. Pillman crawls towards the corner. Tag to Anthony Bowens, he comes in and hits a punt kick to the fucking face. Nice!! Tag to Max. They try for a suplex, but Pillman hits a double knee, tags in Lucha. Tackle to both Acclaimed. Big Boot to Lee, sends Parker into the ring, then into the corner, he sends Lee into a corner, Bowens into Parker, Max into Lee. Back elbow to both corners, then a clothesline to Lee and Parker!

Tag to Jungle Boy and he coms in a house of fiyah!!! He gets taken down as Bowen comes in to send Griff out. Pillman comes in to drop him with a modified Falcon Arrow. Crossbody from Max of the corner. DDT from JB!!!

Daniel Garcia on the apron to distract!! Eddie Kingston here to pull Garcia off! JB turns and gets hit with a huge clothesline from ax! Max t othe top rope! Elbow drop, but it’s missed! Snare Trap! Max taps!

Winners: Jurassic Express and The Varsity Blondes
Man, they left Pillman in there for waaaaaayyy too long, causing the middle of this match to be a bit of a drag. Ending was coo enough.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:51

Eddie takes a camera man backstage. He is stopped by Ortiz. He wants to talk to the camera. Kingston tells Ortiz to step back. Kingston cuts a promo of some sort, but we can’t hear him.

Here come 2.0 and Garcia! Lee grabs a box and smacks everyone. With it as some security comes up. Ref come back to stop the fight. IN comes Santana as Garcia pulls Ortiz off the crowd and punches him.

FTR is backstage with Tully, and Tully tells us that they will be two-time champions. FTR says no more fun and games. It’s time for them to be back at the top. Friday Night, Dax says, is the biggest match of their careers. Friday Night, they become the first ever two-time champions and write their names in the history books.

Match 3: The Young Bucks vs Chuck Taylor and Rocky Romero
Rocky and Nick to start! LOCKUP! Wrist control from Nick, Rocky escapes, hip throw to Nick, Nick flips out of the hold, works the arm, Rocky escapes, hits a dropkick. Rope work and Rocky ducks under, over, Nick off the ropes with an arm drag, spins with a kick, misses, rana from Rocky, arm drag to Nick. Tag from Chuck, whips Nick into a tag from Mat. Matt attcks from behind, sends Chuck to th ropes, Chuck hops over the back, rolls Matt up with 1…2..NO!!! arm drag into a hold from Chuck. Chuck twists the arm and sends Matt into the corner. Kick to the gut. Tag to Rocky. Whip to Matt into the corner. Chuck rushes, gets sent over the ropes, Matt locks the head with his feet, and Nick kicks Chuck off the apron. Rocky hits the ropes, holds on, lured Nick into the outside, hits the ropes under a clothesline, and Rocky with a suicide dive! Dropkick from Matt! He pulls himself back into the ring. Nick sends Rocky into the ring. Matt awaits. He hits a right hand. Chop from Rocky. Another chop. Matt sends Rocky into the corner, Matt back flips, another flip, he’s way too short, so he walks over to the back and rakes it. Matt kicks Rocky then hits a snapmare. Tag to Nick who flies over the top rope with a senton. Nicky corners Rocky. Hits a shoulder. Tag to Matt, Rocky whips a kick into Matt’s face, rolls through, tag to Chuck. Chuck in, sends Nick into Matt, locks the head, DDT/Flatliner combo! Chuck hits the ropes, dives over the top rope and flips onto all men, and lands on his feet!!! SUPERKICK FROM MATT AND NICK!!! Rocky flies with a crossbody, Bucks catch him, toss him onto his feet, Superkick from Nick! Nick wants an Indytaker possibly. Nick and Matt in the ring. They look to dive. They hit the ropes, hit the ropes, slide outside, KISS TO ADAM COLE BAYBAY!!!!!!!

Tag to Nick as Chuck stands outside. Nick hits the apron, runs, punt kick! Matt sets Chuck up legs first on the apron, Nick with a swanton bomb onto the laid out Chuck! Nick reaches into his pants to mock Orange Cassidy. Kick from Matt to Chuck. Nick sends Chuck into the ring. Nick kicks the back of Chuck. Tag to Matt. Matt sets Chuck up on the 2nd rope ,tag to Nick, and he goes for another Swanton Bomb onto chuck!

WE ARE BACK and Nick looks to hit a running kick to Rocky on the outsid, but Orange stands in the way! Cole comes out of nowhere to pump kick Orange down hard!

IN the ring, Chuck T is wearing Orange’s Ray-Bans! He sends Nick into the corner with a belly to belly, causing him to crunch Matt in the corner. Tag to Rocky who hits a clothesline to each Buck in their respective corners, then hits a double rana to both men. Nick runs to the outside, and Rocky follows. He flies off the steps with a rana to Nick! Back in the ring, he hits a running sliced bread and a cover for 1..2.. NO!!!! Rocky with a chop to Matt. Another Nick with a shoulder on the apron, springboard, faceuster, moonsault, Nick lands on his feet, SOULFOOD FROM CHUCK!!! In the ring, Northern Lights is hit by Matt! Roll through, another! Goes for a thied, but Rocky hits a tornado DDT!!! Both men down!

Cutler in the ring to spray Matt’s hands down. Cole enters the ring off the distraction, but Orange is there to kick the back of Cole! Superkick from Nick to Orange! One from Chuck to Nick! Matt in, locks up, reversal, Cutler sprays cold spray, Rocky ducks! Piledriver from Chukc! Rocky with a running jackknife cover for 1..2..NO!!! Nick breaks it up! Nick sends Chuck to the outside. Matt stands, palm strikes from Rocky. Rocky loks for a bulldog off the corner, Matt tries for a Tombstone!

Rocky flies off, sends Matt INTO Nick on the apron! Rollup for 1..2.NO!!! Knee strike from Rocky! Enziguri! Matt pumphandles Rocky upside don! Nick on the apron! Meltzer Driver! Cover for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: The Young Bucks
Oh what fun it is…
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 15:42

Cole and The Bucks attack!!! Orange comes in to make the save, but Cole is here to stomp Orange out! YUTA runs down!!! He attacks Cole! SUPERKICK TO YUTA!! Cole stomps Wheeler out as Matt puts a boot to the chin of Orange! Cutler sprays Chucky down. Matt and Nick pick up Orange. Cole sits at the top rope. Panama Sunrise to Orange Cassidy!

They look for the BTE Trigger to Orange, but Best Friends music hits!!!

ITS SUE!!!!!!!

TRENT BARETTA IS HERE!! He’s got a sick buzz cut and beard and gets a kiss from his momma before heading down to the ring!!! SPEAR TO CUTLER!!!! Trent lookin sexy af. Huge clothesline to Matt! Trent slides in, clothesine to Cole! Half Nelson supel!!!! He sends Nick to the outside!!!!

Sue and Kris Statlander stand proud!

Trent stands in the center of the ring!!!

YOU GOT TO GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!!!!!!

Sue is invited to the ring! THY ALL HUG!!!! Trent points out the hard cam for Sue as she dances to Roppongi Vice!

In a nice little moment, Orange Cassidy is shown pretty pissed off.

Just as Ruby is bout to drop some sick interview bombs, Bunny comes in with Penelope Ford to tell Ruby that when Nyla wins, they’ll get the first shot at the title, so this Friday it’ll be Ruby and two of her friends vs Nyla Rose and them two. They call her Ruby Solo.

Ruby takes her jacket off, saying let’s do this right now.

Ruby punches Bunny, Ford locks up Ruby, in comes Nyla with a, “Surprise, bitch!” lol. Punch to the face. In come Tay and Ana Jay with chairs. Lol. Weird segment but sure.

We are at the top of the ramp with Tony and Sammy. He is about to speak, but gets cut off by….

CODY RHODES!

Lol. Massive boos.

Cody has a mic. He shakes Tony’s hand. He’s got burn marks on his left arm. Cody says, “From one good guy to the next…” lol. He says the challenge is going great, but on Christmas, Sammy will be defending against Cody Rhodes.

Sammy shkes his hand, pulls Sammy in, and says, “Good luck, kid.” Then makes a point to walk back towards the face tunnel.

Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky are in the crowd, and Ethan is pissed. OF COURSE CODY gets his title shot. Ethan had to hop through hoops, but maybe if he was an EVP and kissed Khan’s ass, he’d get a title shot, too. But guess who got him one….Dan Lambert. He’s coming back! Sky tells Sammy what would he even say? A fighting champion? Someone who would face anyone….except for anyone in the Top 5, right? Step up to the plate. Stop calling yourself a champion, and prove that he is one.

Sammy says he’s ready now.

Match 4: Jamie Hayter vs Riho
Hayter starts by shoving Riho. Lockup and Hayter backs Riho into the corner. Another lockup. Riho gets some rights, hits the ropes, tries for a tackle, but Hayter doesn’t drop. Scoop slam and a foot pin for 1…NO!! Another cover but Riho bridges out, hits the ropes, then a dropkick, another dropkick gets swatted away. Hayter with a backbreaker. Hayter with a bck elbow in th corner. Ref holds Hayter back, so Britt hops on the apron to give Riho a cheap shot. Kick to Hayter out of the corner, dropkick out of the corner, hurrivanrana, drop toe hold to Hayter. Riho with a 619! Riho to the top rope! She flies with a crossbody and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Riho to the top rope again, but Hayter catches her…sort of, and drives her spine into the post.

Back from a break, and Hayter has full control. She stomps the arm of Riho, another. Right hand from Riho, antoher, another, Whip. Cant do it. Hayter sends Riho to the corner, Riho kicks out of it, tries for a rana, but Hayter hits a backbreaker. Whip to the corner hard. Hayter tries for a spinebuster, but Riho rolls her up! Stomp to the stomach!!! Jamie is standing! She grabs Riho, Riho with a right, another, Jamie with a punch, another. Scoop, Riho floats over, rollup for 1…2..N!O!! Riho ducks a clothesline, tries for a dragon suplex, but Jamie elbows out of it. Riho dodges, DRAGON SUPLEX!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! RIho hits the shoulder, tries for a Northern Lights, but Hayter stops her and hits a sick brainbuster!!! Cover for 1..2…….N!O!!! Hayter beats her on her back, GOOZLE!!! CHOKESLAM ONTO THE FUCKING KNEE!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Pin for 1….2……NO!!!! Single leg crab to Riho! Riho tries for the ropes, turns into the hold, floats up and over for a rollup. Gets 1..2..NO!!!! Jamie with a kick to the face, Jamie hits the ropes, Riho with a leaping knee, she locks the hips of Jamie, turns upside down on her back! CODE RED!!!! Pin for 1..2…….NO!!! Riho to the top rope!!!! DIVING STOMP TO THE CHEST!! Cover for 1….2…..NO!!!! Both girls on the corner, Jamie tries for a SUperplex, but Riho fights back with fist after fist in the corner, over and over!! Hayter falls off the corner! Rebel on the apron! Riho kicks her away! Jamie hops up to the top, gets Riho to her shoulders. Riho drops elbows and rolls with a Crucifix Bomb!!! Riho with the finisher! Cover for 1…2….3!!!!

Winner: Riho
Whereas the eightman had this entire first half that seemed relatively boring and unnecessary, particularly due to Pillman, this was a match that built upon itself beautifully. They didn’t break the mold, as it was a classic big person/little person match, but they needed the time to remind people of the heart she had, and Jamie, who has struggled a little in the past, did her thing. Good job, ladies.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 13:11

Britt attacks after the bell! She grabs her glove from Rebel! Lockjaw to Riho!

Tazz has an announcement, saying this Friday, Hook vs Fuego Del Sol.

Varsity Blondes are at the top of the stge with Tony. They are going to get some interview time, but the lights go out. They come back on, and Malakai Black is here with a mask on. He removes it, stares down the team, and spits mist into the eyes of Julia Hart. Lol.

We are back with lights on, Pillman is screaming for help, while Griff removes his jacket ready to fight…

Lockup to start! Ome chain wrestling. Silver gets a nice shoulder tckle then flips Bryan mid-air. Nice. Rope work, Bryan misses a kick, Silver hits one of his own.

Match 5: Daniel Bryan vs John Silver
Back from a break, Bryan kicks out of the corner, Bryan to the top rope, tries for a dropkick, but Silver moves and Bryan crashes and burns! Kicks from each man. Silver gets the better of it till Bryan catches, but Silver picks the ankle! He’s got a submission on Bryan!!! Heel hook is locked in! Bryan rolsl towards the rope! Bryan rolls to the outside.Silver on the apron! Cannonball senton! Kick and kick and kick! Silver goes for a German! Bryan lands on his feet! Kick to the back of the head! Bryan waits, wants the knee, Silver counters, rolls him up for 1..2..NO!!!! Silver trips Bryan up! Kick to the back of he head! GERMAN TO BRyAN!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Bryan locks up from behind! Wants a Spin Doctor, but Bryan gouges the eyes! Rolling elbow! Bryan drops elbow after elbow against the head over and over and over and over to the ear, until Silver goes down.

Bryan lifts Silver, locks the head for a Neutralizer! Instead of a pin, Bryan rolls him over for a submission, and Silver is out!!!

Winner: Bryan Danielson

Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:32

Bryan grabs a mic, talks about kicking heads in. He goes over Uno, Colt, Angels, Johnny…

Not yet.

Bryan lifts Silver up by the hands and goes to stomp him out, but here comes Adam Page!! He attacks Bryan and they go at it in the ring until Bryan rolls outside!

Page grabs a mic and says that next week, he will stomp the Cowboy shit out of Bryan.

End Show