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Hey there people, it’s Friday so it’s time for WWE Smackdown. We’re in Saudi Arabia for this episode as Night of Champions is tomorrow, and speaking of champions we’ve got three title matches set for tonight. The WWE tag team titles are on the line as the Street Profits defend against Dexter Lumis and Joe Gacy of the Wyatt Sicks, despite everything the Profits still can’t get on PPV it seems. Also the WWE women’s title will be up between champion Tiffany Stratton and Nia Jax in a Last Woman Standing match, and one has to imagine that the presence of Naomi with her MITB briefcase will be looming large over those proceedings. Lastly on the title front women’s US champion Zelina Vega defends against Giulia, and honestly Giulia seems very likely to pick up the belt here. WWE champion Jon Cena will be here and likely trade more barbs with CM Punk after Cena got to do his own play on the infamous Pipe Bomb promo last week, which was pretty great as a segment. Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton are the finalists for the King of the Ring so there will doubtless be words if not blows exchanged, ditto for Jade Cargill and Asuka as the Queen of the Ring finalists. LA Knight has moved from the Bloodline Vortex into the Seth Rollins Vortex, neither of those are good, but we’ll see what he’s got as a response to getting Tsunami’d repeatedly by Bronson Reed last week. Solo Sikoa will be getting a shot at Jacob Fatu’s US title tomorrow, so there’s sure to be some kind of interaction on that front. Aleister Black and Ron Killings had a bit of a run in last week when Ron attacked Kit Wilson when Wilson was waiting for Black to make his entrance. Still no story for Rey Fenix it seems, which is a shame. Anyway that’s the preamble so let’s get to the action.

Commentary welcome us to Saudi Arabia, where you better not express the thought that women should be allowed to drive or the government will have you killed. We see wrestlers arrive with a focus on the championship matches. Michael Cole and Wade Barrett are the ones on commentary.

Cody Rhodes heads to the ring to get the show started proper. Naturally Cody enjoys the crowd signing his song after the music cuts out, but before he can talk here comes Randy Orton. Second week in a row Cody wasn’t allowed to speak. Randy also enjoys karaoke night in Saudi Arabia for a bit, though the crowd isn’t quite as coordinated with his song. There’s a podium set up in the ring with the crown for King of the Ring set up on it, and Randy gets a mic of his own. Randy talks first, he’s got a question for the audience and asks if they watched RAW and Cody beat Jey Uso. Well Randy thinks that match was Match of the Year quality and he puts over Cody, but with that said he’s here to talk about King of the Ring. We’ve got a weird camera angle as the original recording had technical issues, at least according to the graphic on the screen. Randy needs to be KOTR, not because he gets a title shot at John Cena which is well and good but he also needs it because it’ll be redemption for him. Last year in this same tournament he fell short in the finals in a raw deal with Gunther and now he’s getting retribution. At Backlash Randy was screwed and John Cena embarrassed him by pulling basically a Jeff Jarrett TNA match on him. He needs to right that wrong. They might respect each other but Randy cannot allow how they feel about each other effect what he’s going to do. Randy will do anything to make sure he leaves Saudi Arabia with the crown. That goal of his will come true tomorrow when he reintroduces Cody to the RKO. Cody has heard everyone talk about why they want to be KOTR, but now he finally gets to talk. He mentions Cena again, Randy feels embarrassed him but between Cena and Randy they have 30 world titles so embarrassment doesn’t enter into the equation. Cody remembers his first night in the company when Randy slapped his father, but he also remembers the good and Randy told him everything that a student could ever want to hear from a teacher last week. He’s grateful, and he knows Randy thinks he needs this but no matter if it’s Cena or CM Punk Cody needs this just a little bit more. Tomorrow when it’s all done, RKO will still be the most dangerous letters in WWE. . . but Randy wont be KOTR because Cody will.

Commentary apologizes for the technical difficulties.

In the back JC Mateo is with Solo Sikoa. Solo wants to give Jimmy Uso one last chance to come home, Mateo will remind him what it means to be alone and then tomorrow Solo will hand Jacob Fatu. After this weekend everyone will see that they’re just getting started. That would be terrible given how much time they’ve dedicated to all this.

Jimmy Uso heads to the ring and we head to break.

Post break here comes JC Mateo.

Match #1: Jimmy Uso vs. JC Mateo w/ Solo Sikoa

25 minutes before the first match, that’s pushing it. Mateo attacks Jimmy right away and corners him with strikes. Jimmy fights back with strikes of his own and lays in chops but then runs into a standing avalanche. Mateo winds up on the apron then gets kicked down by Jimmy, Jimmy sets to dive but solo stands in front of him and that stops his momentum and we head to break.

Post break we find Jimmy make a comeback but his crossbody is caught and Mateo slams Jimmy down. Falling clothesline from Mateo then a standing moonsault for a 2 count. Mateo with a bearhug as Cole likens Mateo to Taz, surprised that mention flew from an editorial perspective. Jimmy fights back with a whisper in the wind and both men are down. Now some more strikes from Jimmy then he fails a Samoan Drop but does land an enziguri. Hip attack from Jimmy then a superkick which sends Mateo out of the ring. Jimmy sets to dive again and hits a suicide dive. Back in the ring Solo talks with Jimmy as Jimmy is on the apron, Jimmy just goes up top but Mateo is upright and avoids a flying nothing then hits a Tour of the Islands to win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: JC Mateo won in 8:13

Rating: 2 stars
Thoughts: Heatless and more than a little plodding in terms of pacing, Mateo still hasn’t found his footing and presentation in WWE.

Post match Solo again asks Jimmy to give him a hug and come home. Jimmy fakes the hug and slaps Solo so Mateo clubs him down. Solo wants to Spike Jimmy but of course the Samoan Werewolf Jacob Fatu shows up. Fatu lays into Mateo and hits a pop up Samoan Drop. Fatu and Solo stare down but Solo powders and declines the fight. The crowd want violence though so Fatu obliges them with a double jump moonsault to Mateo. Jimmy and Fatu stare down next, Jimmy shoves Fatu away and superkicks Solo as Solo tried a sneak attack. Solo and Mateo retreat while Fatu and Jimmy share the ring and continue to tease some kind of association.

DIY are in the back, they’re trying to rally the tag team division to help the Profits retain the titles as the Sicks winning the belts would be a disaster. If the Wyatts win no one will get a title shot. Nick Aldis comes over to see what’s going on and DIY asks why the Wyatts even got a tag team shot. Aldis has an idea and calls over Andrade, and offers him a tag team match against DIY if he can find a partner. Andrade thinks it’s a good idea and heads off.

Giulia video, she’s been calling out Zelina as long as she’s been here. She doesn’t have to work as hard as Vega, her hard work already speaks for itself. That belt is just a stepping stone for Giulia, it doesn’t belong to Vega and she’ll prove it. Vega says she’s suffered and sacrificed everything to win this belt and if Giulia wants it she’ll have to take it from her cold dead hands. I get the feeling Giulia finds those terms acceptable.

Zelina Vega heads to the ring for our next match while we get commercials.

Post break here comes Giulia.

Match #2 – Women’s US Title Match: (c) Zelina Vega vs. Giulia

Vega with a low single leg early and they trade some pin attempts on the mat then we get simultaneous head kicks and they’re both down. Both women recover and Giulia slams Vega down by the hair then hits a suplex. Giulia up top but Vega kicks her to the apron the knees her to the floor. Vega heads up to the second rope for a moonsault to the floor and Vega starts selling the knee as we go to break.

We come back to Giulia setting up a Curb Stomp but that only leads to a 2 count. Vega rolls to the floor, Giulia follows but Vega lands an arm drag then hits a Meteora into the ring steps. They head back into the ring, Vega still selling her leg as they start trading strikes. Vega fires up with some clotheslines then she avoids a Northern Lights Bomb and hits a kneeling Codebreaker style move. Corner double knees from Vega then she hits a second rope Meteora for a 2 count. Vega heads up top but Giulia kicks her then climbs up for an avalanche butterfly suplex. Code Red from Vega but Giulia gets a foot on the rope to break the count. Vega goes back up top but eats the mat on a moonsault attempt then Giulia with an Arrivederci knee. Another Arrivederci knee from Giulia then a Northern Lights Bomb seals the deal.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Giulia won the title in 8:21

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: I feel like the commercial break hurt this one, also I prefer a bit more selling of big spots but I might be in the minority given how the business is moving.

Giulia celebrates with the belt while Vega is a sad panda.

Next week we’ll only have a 2 hour show, thank heavens.

We get a recap of Alexa Bliss saving Charlotte Flair last week but of course Charlotte is a strong independent woman who don’t need no friends.

Charlotte walks in the back and finds Alexa Bliss. Charlotte doesn’t want to be friends, Bliss doesn’t want a friend either but an ally of convenience wouldn’t hurt either of them. Bliss tells Charlotte to think about that and then she walks off.

After this break Wade Barrett will talk with Jade Cargill and Asuka.

We get a reminder that Wade Barrett won a KOTR tournament a full decade ago in 2015. Wade is in the ring and brings out Jade Cargill first. Asuka follows and the two stare down in the ring. The crowd seems to be mostly pro-Asuka. Jade speaks first, she only sees an opportunity tomorrow to prove her purpose. At SummerSlam she’s taking the whole throne. Asuka says Jade is strong, but the power is not everything. She has skills and experience and reminds us who she is. She goes into Japanese for a bit and then reminds us all that no one is ready for Asuka. Jade starts to talk but gets interrupted by Naomi. Naomi speaks from the ramp as she walks, she says the briefcase means she has the power and can do anything she wants. Maybe she’ll cash in on Tiffany or Jax tonight, or maybe she’ll wait for one of them getting a title shot. She knows Jade hates that Naomi has the power to take away everything from her, again. Her promo isn’t really landing. She thinks about how great it would be to ruin the biggest night of Jade’s career. Jade shoves Asuka over to threaten Naomi, Asuka cares not for that and lays out Jade with kicks. That got a pop from the crowd. Naomi poses over the fallen Jade because clearly that’s the most important part of this.

In the back Nick Aldis and Adam Pearce talk to iron out things about the women’s tag team scene. Aleister Black wants a match, but here’s Ron Killings to interrupt. Ron wants another match with John Cena. Aldis can’t let that happen tonight, Ron says not to worry about it. Black then follows Ron.

DIY then head to the ring and we head to break, we’ll find out Andrade’s partner after the break. Logically it should be Rey Fenix.

Post break we’re given a little recap of Los Garza winning the AAA tag team titles. Hey, remember when Berto was at odds with Santos Escobar?

Andrade heads to the ring, followed by his partner of Rey Fenix.

Match #3 – Tag Team Match: DIY (Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa) vs. Andrade and Rey Fenix

27 minutes between matches, no es bueno. Andrade and Ciampa start, Andrade with a go behind but Ciampa elbows him. Chop from Andrade then Fenix tags in and Ciampa takes some double team kicks then but Ciampa and Johnny set to take double kicks in the ropes. Fenix and Andrade with stereo top rope cross body dives that land and we head to break.

We come back to Johnny and Ciampa working over Fenix. Fenix starts his comeback and sends Johnny over the ropes to the floor then unloads on Ciampa with a flurry of kicks. Johnny yanks Andrade away from a tag and Ciampa hits Fenix with a knee to the back of the head for a 2 count. Fenix with a fairly big bump off of a chop and we get a mid match commercial for the new Jurassic World movie. That franchise has been kind of a miss, certainly Dominion sucked out loud at least. Ciampa works with Fenix on the top rope for an avalanche Air Raid Crash but Fenix fights that off then chops him down and hits the Adios Amigo kick to put both men down. Both men tag out and Andrade gets to run wild for a bit including a Dragon Screw to Johnny who’s been favoring the knee since that spill to the floor. Johnny avoids some corner double knees but his slingshot Spear is countered by Andrade then he hits a tornado reverse DDT for a near fall. Ciampa tags in kind of blind and he sets up Andrade to take a Shatter Machine but again only a 2 count. That sends us to break again.

We come back to Johnny and Andrade both down. Johnny pulls himself towards the top rope, Andrade chops him then climbs up with him to look for a superplex but Johnny fights him off then tries a Sunset bomb but Andrade flips through then hits his corner double knees and tries the double moonsault but Johnny doesn’t roll right so they have to improvise. Fenix with the Tiger Feint wheel kick to Ciampa then a sick suicide dive onto him as well. In the ring Johnny and Andrade trade strikes, Johnny tries a roll up but Fenix blind tags then hits him with flip into a bridging German suplex for a near fall, nice move there. Fenix sets for the Mexican Muscle Buster but Ciampa shoves Andrade off the top rope then Johnny rolls up Fenix for 2. Poisoned Rana to Fenix and Ciampa tags in. Fairy Tale Ending plus superkick but only a near fall. Project Ciampa connects as well but Andrade breaks up the pin. Johnny and Andrade trade strikes then Ciampa lines up Fenix for a knee but Andrade pulls him out of the way. Corner kick from Fenix, Andrade tags in, Fenix with the Mexican Muscle Buster then Andrade with The Message to Ciampa and Fenix plays goalie to keep Johnny out of things so we get the pin.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Andrade and Rey Fenix won in 16:20

Rating: 3.5 stars
Thoughts: Surprise match that really delivered, I’m not surprised given the talent of the four men but giving them north of 15 minutes was a bit of a surprise. Still, credit to everyone involved and this was probably even better without the commercials.

We head to break as commentary remind us that the team of Andrade and Fenix are now 2-0.

After the break we get a video recapping the storied rivalry between John Cena and CM Punk, pretty sure it’s the same one from last week just with a few bits from Cena’s pipe bomb last week.

Ron Killings is in the ring, he plays with the crowd and he is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. John Cena, he isn’t letting anything slide or ride, he wants to settle things right now. He doesn’t get Cena, but Aleister Black does appear behind him to land a Black Mass. Black sits and tells Ron he talks too much, but in weird way they’re even now.

In the back the Street Profits are found by Byron. They have waited four years between title reigns, so anyone must be out of their minds to think they’re taking the belts from them. The Wyatts are the only threat they have so they’re going to eliminate them. B-Fab wanders over to them and says she’s got their back if necessary. The Profits head to the ring after that and we head to break.

Post break we find Aleister Black and Damian Priest. Priest and Black trade words as Priest is Truth’s friend and he says if Black wants payment do it face to face. Black isn’t opposed to that. Carmelo Hayes comes over as Black leaves, and he says Priest should mind his own business. Priest tells Hayes to walk away, he does.

Back to the ring and here come the Wyatts.

Match #4 – WWE Tag Team Title Match: (c) Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) vs. Wyatt Sicks (Dexter Lumis and Joe Gacy) w/ Uncle Howdy, Eric Rowan, and Nikki Cross

Ford and Lumis start us off by trading strikes. Lumis hits the ropes but runs into a dropkick. Gacy tags in and clocks Ford into a Lumis spinebuster then Gacy with a senton. The rest of the tag team division shows up to be ringside and play peacekeepers. Handspring clothesline from Gacy to drop Ford and send us picture in picture as we see that DIY, the Motor City Machine Guns, Fraxiom, and Los Garza are present and accounted for.

Lumis with a scoop slam then Gacy tags in and they hit double back elbows then Gacy gets hip tossed onto Ford for a 2 count. Lumis back in as they’re keeping Ford isolated. Ford tries a School Boy but then eats a clothesline for his troubles. Gacy tags in and lays into Ford with strikes then Lumis tags back in and they hit a suplex into a powerbomb double team, nice little move. Neck crank from Lumis as we come back to broadcast. Ford flips out of a back suplex then lands a superkick but runs into a pop up right hand, then they trade clotheslines before we get a double crossbody spot and both men are down. Both men make tags and Dawkins gets to run wild on Gacy for a bit. Corner combination from Dawkins then Gacy fights back with a headbutt and tags out. Lumis gets gripped by Los Garza, ref didn’t see that. Dawkins then Pounces Lumis into Los Garza, I’m sure this wont cause problems. DIY comes over and we’ve got a big brawl so no finish.

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest in 6:29

Rating: 2 stars
Thoughts: The action wasn’t bad but wasn’t standout either, and the ending was telegraphed as well as making much of the match kind of pointless. I do wonder what they’ll do to settle this as we had a TLC match not too long ago.

Everyone fights, then Eric Rowan comes over to clean house for a bit but the Guns and Fraxiom are able to land enough superkicks to send him out of the ring then Frazer tries a suicide dive but Rowan catches him so the Guns hit a baseball slide. Howdy then spikes Axiom with Sister Abigail. Ford and Dawkins show up to dispose of Howdy and Dawkins then dives onto the pile of bodies, and of course Ford then leaps over the ring post to add to the chaos. Ultimately the Profits stand tall.

We get a recap of the Jimmy and Mateo match from earlier plus Fatu showing up.

In the back Jacob Fatu walks and finds Jimmy Uso. Jimmy says he didn’t need help, Fatu says he didn’t need it last week either. Both men give each other a bit of respect and Fatu says he and Big Jim are OK if Jimmy gets in where he fits it. Jimmy “yeet” Fatu “Yadda mean”. OK then.

Nia Jax heads to the ring for our next match and we head to break.

Post break here comes WWE Women’s champion Tiffany Stratton.

Match #5 – WWE Women’s Title Last Woman Standing Match: (c) Tiffany Stratton vs. Nia Jax

Jax attacks just before the bell then begs the audience for a reaction, they do not oblige. Jax posts Tiffany then removes a turnbuckle pad. Tiffany sends Jax out of the ring then hits a baseball slide. They brawl on the floor for a bit then Jax gets the ring steps but Tiffany rams her into them then tries to jump at Jax but Jax brings the steps around so Tiffany jumps into them and is down. Jax takes apart the announce table, Tiffany tries to fight back but takes a Samoan Drop onto the table which does not break. Tiffany is down as we go picture in picture.

Jax sets up a table while Tiffany recovers then they brawl again. Next Jax gets a couple of kendo sticks, one goes in the ring but then Tiffany kicks the other out of her hands and then starts whacking Jax with it. Jax gets the stick back and hits Tiffany. Tiffany gets rammed into the barricade, she fights her way back up as Jax puts chairs into the ring. Jax wanders over but Tiffany gets the kendo stick and whacks her with it until Jax retreats into the ring. That’s the state of things as we come back, Tiffany heads up top and hits a crossbody. Tiffany up top again, there’s a table set up outside the ring and one that isn’t set up in the ring. Swanton Bomb from Tiffany connects but Jax is up at 5 because she doesn’t sell. Low dropkick from Tiffany puts her back down but Jax gets Tiffany in an Electric Chair and drops her face first into the exposed turnbuckle. That puts Tiffany down for an 8 count. Jax tosses Tiffany out of the ring then follows and runs her into the ring steps. Another 8 count then Jax sets Tiffany on the table outside the ring. She again wants a crowd reaction which isn’t forthcoming. Jax then does a falling splash from the apron through Tiffany and the table. Tiffany barely beats the count at 9. Jax goes under the ring for more plunder and finds a third table, then a fourth and we go picture in picture again.

One of the tables gets set up but then Tiffany comes over and hits Jax with the kendo stick, they fight over it for a bit as they fight up and down the ramp a couple of times. Eventually they go all the way onto the entrance stage but Tiffany avoids a Jax charge and Jax runs into one of the LED boards. Tiffany gets a rolling crate and runs over Jax with it then follows her back to the ringside area. Tiffany rams Jax into a ring post then sets up the other table next to the first one. That all allows Jax to recover and take over again. Jax tosses Tiffany into the barricade, Tiffany then gets a chair and starts whacking Jax with it. They head into the ring as we come back to broadcast. Some chair shots from Jax now then an Annihilator. Jax doesn’t think that’ll do it so puts a chair on Tiffany and hits another Annihilator. The ref counts and gets to 9 again but Tiffany is able to pull herself up. Kendo stick from Jax then she sets up the ring table near the corner. Jax wants an avalanche Samoan Drop through the table but Tiffany slips free and powerbombs Jax through the table to put both women down. The ref starts counting again but there’s still a couple of unbroken tables so both women pull themselves up. Naomi’s music hits and she runs down with the briefcase to cash in but Tiffany kicks her then brains her with the briefcase, then a briefcase shot for Jax and she bulldogs Jax onto Naomi. Prettiest Moonsault Ever onto both women who are stacked up. Naomi rolls out of the ring, why would you cash in on a gimmick match like this anyway, you’d have to get both other women down for a 10 count. Jax pulls herself up then drags Tiffany to the apron and looks to suplex her through the tables but Tiffany fights back and brains Jax with the briefcase again to send Jax through both tables. Tiffany stands in the ring and that’ll do it as Jax can’t beat the count.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Tiffany Stratton retained the title in 17:36

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: Decent plunder match but this didn’t quite click for me. Maybe it’s one of the inherent issues with Last Man Standing matches that the rhythm is just different but they never quite overcame that. It doesn’t help that we’ve seen a lot of these two and it’s all kind of the same.

We’re reminded again that RAW has an early start time and Smackdown will be 2 hours going forward.

Commentary then runs down Night of Champions with it’s whopping. . . two title matches. It’s far from a bad card on paper but that’s just a failure of branding.

After this break Cena and Punk will go face to face with Punk aping the Doctor of Thuganomics.

Post break here’s WWE champion John Cena. Cena wants his special intro and gets it then gets a mic and says this is what a winner looks like. He is a winner, Punk is a loser because he’s been out maneuvered and is out of tricks and Cena is a genius. Night of Champions is a formality and Punk can do nothing about it. That gets Word Life to play and here’s Punk dressed in jorts and Chicago sports attire, he’s got the chair and drug free knux as well. Cena seems befuddled and Punk gets a mic then heads into the ring. Punk welcomes us to basic punkonomics, Cena plagiarized his pipe bomb so he’s stealing word life. He mocks Cena’s speed and rapping ability. He accuses Cena of burying more talent than the Undertaker. Cena’s the champ and lost his respect, but Punk would retire too if this company rehired his ex. Given the number of Punk exes that’s a big claim. Cena gets good movie roles, but then we see Batista act and realize Cena’s not all that. He accuses Cena of being more problematic than Hogan. When it comes to best in the world Punk is the vessel, millions chant his name but at Cena they chant “you can’t wrestle”. That does prompt the chant. Punk will still be here in six months while Cena washes underwear for James Gunn, and no matter how many how hard he tries he’ll always be The Marine. We all see Cena now as a washed up bum. 14 years ago today Punk dropped a pipe bomb, now Cena has tried to make it all about him. 17 time world champion but never in Punks class. Good content but Punk hasn’t kept the rhythm right to really nail this. Before Cena leaves there’s one more wish to make, you’re gonna lose to Kendrick because bitch you’re my Drake. Again the rhythm wasn’t quite there for Punk but I like the general idea of this.

Cult of Personality plays and Punk celebrates with the fans as the episode ends.