My Stolen Take On 08.05.08: The CM Punk Title Reign

Yes, I stole something from the boss, sue me! Fact is I had something to say and since I don’t have my own column around here anymore, I needed to piggyback my way into a good rant. Some of you – if you follow things like WOTW and Fact or Fiction – have heard some of this before, but I felt the need to revisit and expound upon a serious problem I am having with a particular part of the current booking.

I would of course be talking about the booking of CM Punk – not only leading up to – but DEFINITELY including his current title reign. It’s been utter shit. I’ve heard the reasoning and the excuses and the goals, and I’m not buying any of it. So I figured I would take a look back at how things have developed, and tell you exactly why I have hated just about each and every moment of it. So, to help me with this, I decided we would go back in the form of THE CM PUNK TIMELINE!

WrestleMania 24, April 1st, 2008

CM Punk, after gaining some momentum heading into the big show, wins the fourth ever Money In The Bank Ladder match, gaining ownership of the briefcase and ensuring himself a title match anytime, anywhere, anyplace. Things seemed to be on track for the straight-edge up and comer. But then, things didn’t go so well after that night. Punk couldn’t seem to get a win; he was losing clean to guys like JBL and The Miz. No offense to Miz, but you can read that again if you’d like. CM Punk lost clean to The Miz. This is potentially our next champion. This is a guy who is supposed to be believable as a major threat to a major title. Why can’t he pick up a win?

RAW, June 30th, 2008

RAW opens, and eventually after JR speaks our friend Edge is here (that is an ENTIRELY different booking rant on its own so I’ll spare you). He wants us all to know that he’s the man, RAW sucks, and nobody will ever have the pleasure of dealing with him on Mondays again. One problem, Big Dave is now on RAW and in the building AND pissed! He comes down, gives Edge a beatdown worthy of Edge not being on television for a month, and leaves him there. BUT WAIT! Punk is out and he is in a hurry! Ring the bell fuckers! Hits the quick GTS and WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! WOOOOOOOOOO! A very unexpected turn and a nice way to start the show (and also, very different than the norm). Now, I don’t blame Punk for winning this way. Edge did the same and that is exactly what the MITB contract is designed to do; allow you to capitalize on the ultimate opportunity (hello, Cole) to win gold. But what now? Well we’ll find out soon, because JBL has stepped up and we are getting his first title defense!

Big fat spectacular pile of crap that was. Sure Punk got in some offense, but at the end of the day nothing he did was enough to put him away. He needed JBL to be distracted by 23 guys on the outside in order to sneak in the GTS to get the win. Okay, I can live with that. He hasn’t started strong but there is time. The opening segment was enough EPIC WIN (you love it, you know it) to garnish a pass. We could only wait and see where it goes from here.

RAW, July 7th, 2008

CM Punk interrupts Vickie Guerrero because well, he’s just here to gloat and done listening to her. This ended up being a big circle jerk. Did CM Punk get some mic time in? Absolutely. More than I thought even. But it was mostly him in the background listening to seemingly *more important* guys in JBL, Cena, Batista, etc. He consented to the Fatal Four Way, and headed off. His night was not done though. Snitsky was in a mood, and it wasn’t his fault. So CM Punk went ahead and defeated Snitsky. Let me put some things in perspective for you. 1. CM Punk got a victory over Snitsky. THAT’s doing a lot for your credibility as champ. Oh, and also:

2. This was on shortly after or around 10 p.m. (I originally said 9; I meant the middle of the show just misspoke), because the main event was clearly more important. Guess what people. KOFI KINGSTON VS. CHARLIE HASS was higher on the card. Cena, JBL, Kane, and Big Dave were all in the main event.

Yes… things are certainly going much better this week /sarcasm.

RAW, July 14th, 2008

This week, we have some more serious competition, because our champ will be facing Kane! He got in some offense, but not much. Kane certainly looked like the more dominant one. BUT, CM Punk managed to retain when sneaking into the ring at the count of 9 and winning by default via count out. Yeah, looking real strong there. So maybe the champ would get away with a victory and not look like such a puss this week, right? Of course not, silly. Kane immediately started to beat the fuck out of him (to which he could do nothing), and he actually had to be SAVED by Batista. This was of course followed by CM Punk sneezing in the wrong way, pissing off Batista and leading to a massive Batistabomb which left Punk laid out in the ring dead. Yeah, I’m REALLY buying that Punk can beat him on Sunday!

Again, I will note this was in the 10 p.m. area (again, middle of the show, misspoke), NOT main event area. No, no. We had far more pertinent things on the card like Jamie Noble vs. Snitsky. Cena and JBL were in the main event. Main players anyone?

WWE Great American Bash, July 20th, 2008

Okay, so to this point Punk has done exactly dick and squat to have me believe in any way that he will retain here. But it’s a PPV, perhaps now is his time to shine. Perhaps he’s just been dealt a bad hand lately; I can work with that. Now I give the WWE credit here. Punk got in some SERIOUS offense, and actually controlled most of the match. Things are looking up. Perhaps I was wrong about our young, new champion. One problem. again no matter what Punk did, it just wasn’t enough to put the challenger away. He simply could not get the job done. Surely it couldn’t get any worse right?

WRONG. After nine minutes of Punk offense that can’t put Dave away, we get ONE SPINEBUSTER, killing all momentum I thought he had built and I honestly thought “well, we’re about 15 seconds and one Batistabomb away from the new champ”. That’s how poorly Punk had been booked. I literally thought there was no way he could beat Dave; not only that, Dave was about to end it with TWO MOVES REQUIRING 30 SECONDS OF TIME. Our champion was lucky though, as he was again saved via Kane interference resulting in a double DQ and him retaining.

Yup, I’m really buying Punk as champ now.

I will again note this was middle of the card, and guys like Cena, JBL, HHH, and Edge all got top billing. Boy, the most important title on the flagship show and virtually the most notable and featured belt in the entire company still can’t break NEXT TO LAST on a PPV.

RAW, July 21st, 2008

Wait, wait, wait. You mean CM Punk is actually going to main event? It’s finally here? The WWE – even after making him look like a bitch the last month – is going to give him a shot! Could we be seeing change!?

Of course not. Of course Kane has to come and beat Dave down first hand. Of course Punk has to ask the beaten up guy if he wants the shot. Of course he wants it. Of course Punk again gets in a ton of offense for most of the match. AND OF COURSE DESPITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES HE CANNOT PUT DAVE AWAY. Of course at the end of the match Batista hits like two moves and Punk is done and about to lose his title KILLING ALL MOMENTUM AND CREDIBILITAY. I don’t believe in any way Punk can beat Batista, and I don’t believe in any way Punk can kick out of the Batistabomb coming. BUT OF COURSE JBL HAS TO SAVE PUNK BY ATTACKING BATISTA, THUS AGAIN CREATING A DQ allowing Punk to retain.

As if that wasn’t enough, the champion scours out the ring because the WWE – despite giving him the main event – would rather focus on the DREAM MATCHUP! Of Cena vs. Batista to end the show.

Anyone else seeing a fucking ridiculous bullshit pattern here yet? Or no, still just me?

RAW, July 28th, 2008

I’m going to be brief here, because there is no need to explain. This week epitomized my feelings. Punk …….stop transmission……

Punk had a match AGAIN around the 10 p.m. timeframe, leaving a women’s match and a main event featuring Cena, JBL, Batista, and Kane; not to mention some Jericho/HBK continuity overshadowing things.

…..resume transmission….. Punk took on William Regal who – and let’s be honest – just beat the fuck out of him for about 10 minutes no questions asked. Kicked his ass up and down the ring and Punk snuck a GTS out of nowhere. Welcome to Mr. Regal’s Bitchland, population CM Punk.

RAW, August 4th, 2008

The champion will finally be in a position to do something right? No! He must face two guys getting more face time and higher placement on the card! At the same time! What ever will happen! Oh! He’ll get his ass kicked for eight minutes! Which is exactly what happened. He then got in 45 seconds of offense on both men (after they kicked the crap out of each other over who’d get the pin), but really, it didn’t matter. He got his ass beat, and then – by fluke or not – got pinned. He now goes on to face JBL and even though I know he’ll win, I don’t buy it.

And a big fat italicized reminder that AGAIN this was half way in, focusing the main event on other people and other storylines. At the end of the night did anyone give a shit about Punk match at SummerSlam? Or was the focus the new tag champs who are the dream match? Exactly.

My Stolen Take On: CM Punk’s Championship Reign

It’s sad really. I’d like to address a couple of things in closing.

First and foremost, I like Punk. I really do. I like the idea of Punk as champion. I really do. It’s fresh and new and not the norm, and because I am familiar with Punks work before the WWE, I know he can pull it off. I wish him success. I in fact, don’t blame him for the booking. The problem is, the booking isn’t what’s on TV every week, it’s the wrestler adhering to the booking. I don’t blame him for what’s happening, but the fact that it’s him on television every week doesn’t do him any favors. Bottom line, before anyone gets defensive and ancey, I LIKE CM PUNK AND LIKE THE IDEA OF HIM AS CHAMP.

Secondly, I know. People keep telling me how he’s being booked this way on purpose and we’re not supposed to think he can win and it’s all leading to this grand snapping-of-punk heel turn in which he loses it and it turns into the greatest thing ever. I keep hearing how it’s this “super slow turn being gracefully and beautifully orchestrated”. Well, that burn has been almost five months now and I am done.

Finally, I end with this. I have said this before and I will say it again. I WANT a Great, credible and believable champion. I CAN DEAL WITH a fighting and make it work champion. I will SETTLE FOR an underdog champion.

What I have now is a champion that doesn’t apply to any of those. This isn’t even a Rey Mysterio push, it’s a David Arquette push. What I’m getting now is a guy being booked like a total pussy and being made everyone on the planets bitchboy. When he’s not doing that, he’s getting saved by run-ins and DQs. He looks like total shit and I don’t believe in any way he can beat any contender and even if he does, I don’t find it credible because he’s been thrown to the fucking wolves while holding the most important title in the company. Not only that, he can’t even get himself a main event or a main focus storyline; they continue to focus on the other main players and keep him in the background. If my friend asked me tomorrow why they should buy SummerSlam, I would list at least three matches and two other reasons before I even remembered Punk was on the card. Nice.

I said to someone a couple few weeks ago I might change my mind based on what they do. Well, here we are a couple few weeks later and nothing has changed. None of it matters now, even if it turns into the greatest heel turn and most fantastic championship run ever. I don’t care if they turn the ship. I don’t care if it becomes the next Attitude Era. If it happens, I’ll give them their due, but this will never be forgotten.

No matter how it turns out, at least for the first six weeks, the end will never justify the means. Way to go booking team.

Fuck, even Shannon won’t disagree with me, and you all know what means… or at least, 3 of you do.

Can’t wait for SummerSlam, can you? See you around, kids.

By the way, go read Hidden Highlights