On the Marc Reviews: 1999 Royal Rumble

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Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California; January 24, 1999

Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler

This was back when the WWF was at its peak in popularity; you would miss your own funeral to watch a PPV. The background here is that Steve Austin won the WWF title at WrestleMania XIV (full review, click here) and Vince McMahon, now going by “Mr. McMahon” only, wanted to make him a “corporate” champion; this lead to the biggest wrestling angles of all time with Vince continuously trying to screw Austin out of the title. He eventually got his wish and Austin’s only hope at getting another title shot is to win the Royal Rumble. Mr. McMahon put himself in the Rumble at #30 and Austin #1. Commissioner Shawn Michaels did not care for that so he overruled Mr. McMahon and made Vince #2 and gave the #30 to the winner of a DX/Corporation mini-Rumble on Raw (which Chyna won). To further stack the deck against Austin he put a $100,000 bounty on his head to whoever eliminates him from the Royal Rumble. This is also the debut of No Chance in Hell, as it is the theme of the Rumble.

The DVD has home video exclusive interviews with Road Dogg, Big Bossman, Mark Henry, Jeff Jarrett and Jim Cornette all discussing the $100,000 bounty on Steve Austin and the Rumble itself. They are in plain clothes in the back; very realistic sounding interviews.

Road Dogg vs. Big Bossman:   This is part of the DX versus Corporation storyline; Bossman and Ken Shamrock beat the New Age Outlaws for the tag titles a month or so earlier. So, Road Dogg challenged Bossman and Billy Gunn is challenging Ken Shamrock. On top of that, the Road Dogg beat the Bossman for the hardcore title a week or two prior to the Rumble. Get all that? Anyway no belts on the line here, just a challenge match. Bossman throws Road Dogg around a little but Road Dogg keeps the crowd into it through his overness. Bossman punches Road Dogg and avalanches him. Road Dogg misses a second and crotches himself on the top rope. Ten-punch in the corner (with a crotch chop) by Road Dogg; he adds a dropkick. Road Dogg grabs Bossman’s nightstick to distract the referee then crotches Bossman on the ringpost on the other side of the ring. Bossman counters a corner charge with a reverse elbow sending Roadie to the floor where Bossman abuses him. The Bossman takes over with punches and eye gouges; big boot by Bossman followed by a bearhug. Road Dogg bites free but Bossman stays on top with a knee to the gut and a spinebuster for two. Bossman traps Road Dogg on the ropes and uniquely hangs on the ropes upside down smothering him there. More punching by the Bossman followed by more rope choking. Yay. Road Dogg applies a surprise sleeper. Bossman backbreakers his way out and heads to the top rope but Road Dogg Flairs him off. They slug it out in the middle of the ring. Road Dogg hits the Shake Rattle and Roll punches followed by the shaky knee drop for two. Road Dogg, however, runs right into the Bossman Slam for the out-of-nowhere three. 2/10 Bossman was so boring on his second coming with the WWF; once he put on the riot gear. Road Dogg tried; at least the crowd was into it.

Billy Gunn mooned Ken Shamrock’s sister Ryan Shamrock to goad him into an Intercontinental championship match. Shamrock snapped and destroyed Gunn’s ankle the week prior to the Rumble.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Ken Shamrock vs. “Badd Ass” Billy Gunn:   Shamrock is also the other half of the tag champions. They brawl at the bell. Billy Gunn hits a flying forearm and they roll around the mat. Shamrock turns Billy inside out with a clothesline. Billy regains the advantage with a clothesline and applies a chinlock that Gunn segues into a stalling vertical suplex. Gunn misses a corner shoulderblock and post himself. Shamrock kicks his ass, literally. Shamrock bodyslams him and kicks his face and his back. Shamrock spinning wheel kicks Billy Gunn for two. Gunn counters a backdrop with a Fameasser… for two. Billy hits a ten-punch on the turnbuckles but gets low bridged to the floor. Shamrock kicks the crap out of Billy on the floor and tosses him face first into the ringpost then the steps. Billy recovers on the apron and bulldogs Shamrock’s face into the announce table. Back in the ring Billy hits a standing facebuster. Shamrock reverse sweeps the leg and works over the ankle; Indian death drop on the leg followed by a bunch of leg splashes. Shamrock applies a standing front facelock. Gunn comes back but a fisherman’s suplex gets two for Shamrock. Back to the legwork goes Shamrock; Billy ducks a short clothesline and Shamrock takes out referee Tim White; double clothesline, both men out. Val Venis shows up and DDT’s Shamrock because he was involved with Ryan Shamrock as well. Gunn covers for two. Billy fires up and hits a reverse spinning elbow and a flying corner clothesline. Billy goes up to the top but Shamrock avoids the double axe handle and Gunn lands on the bad ankle. Shamrock immediately applies the ankle lock for the tap out. 4/10 That was abrupt; an average, at best, match that was a little slow in the middle. Both Outlaws lost via out of nowhere finishes; the Corporation is 2-0.

In the back Mr. McMahon is getting pumped up by Shane McMahon for the Rumble.

WWF European Championship X-Pac vs. Gangrel:   Gangrel shoulderblocks X-Pac but he comes back with some leapfrogs and a hiptoss. Gangrel counters the hiptoss so X-Pac flips through the counter and back suplexes him. X-Pac kicks away in the corner but Gangrel moves on a seated splash in the other corner, crotching X-Pac in the corner. Gangrel reverse splashes him in the corner. Butterfly release suplex by Gangrel for two. He hangs Pac off the top rope and hits the chinlock. X-Pac frees himself but runs right into a release flapjack. Gangrel tries a top rope elbow drop but misses. That fires X-Pac up and he hits a 360 flying clothesline; then Gangrel ducks a clothesline but X-Pac spinning leg lariats him. X-Pac nails the Bronco Buster and a spinning roundhouse kick; Gangrel crotches him on the top rope however. X-Pac tries a top rope crossbody; Gangrel rolls through but it goes horribly wrong and referee Teddy Long actually counts three but ignores it. X-Pac kicks in the corner but walks into powerslam; X-Pac counters another release flapjack into the X-Factor for three. 4/10 Not a bad match; was a little slow in the beginning and gained speed in the end but also gained some sloppiness.

Kevin Kelly talks to DX who say they are tight but WWF title shots and $100,000 bounties make it every man (and woman) for themselves.

WWF Women’s Championship Sable vs. Luna Vachon strap match:   Shane McMahon introduce them and since Sable is hurt and must forfeit the title. Luna attacked her early on during Sunday Night Heat. Sable comes out, holding her back, and says to ring the bell. They whip each other with the strap and Sable posts her on the floor. Sable chokes Luna with the strap; she touches two posts but Luna stops her. Sable spins Luna onto her face via strap. Luna hits a backbreaker and works the back that she injured earlier. Luna hangs Sable on her shoulders and touches the turnbuckle but is unaware that Sable touches them right behind her. Sable is about to touch the fourth one but Shane hops up on the apron. Some fan (Tori) shows up and nails Luna allowing Sable to win. 2/10 The same as all the other strap matches except it is a quarter of the time and the “fan” interference.

The camera catches the Big Bossman talking with Test and Ken Shamrock about the Rumble, every man for himself.

The history of how Mankind and the Rock came to their “I Quit” match and how Mankind goaded him into the match; Mankind guarantees he will never quit. The Rock guaran-damn-tees Mankind will quit.

WWF Heavyweight Championship Mankind vs. The Rock “I quit” match:   The Corporation is banned from ringside. Earlier on Sunday Night Heat Mankind wrestled Mabel in a “warm-up match”, booked by Mr. McMahon, which the Rock interfered in. Mankind chokes the Rock and rams him into the turnbuckle.  Mankind nails him with the microphone a few times; Cactus clothesline takes it to the floor. Rock reverses a whip and Mankind flies over them. The Rock joins for commentary and gets a jab in on Jerry Lawler until Mankind clotheslines him he sends him into the announce table followed by a chairshot. Back to the ring double-arm DDT by Mankind followed by Mr. Socko assisted Mandible Claw. Rock cannot say “I quit” that way so Mick threatens to split-open that “stupid eyebrow”. Into the crowd we go; where Mankind tries to Cactus clothesline Rock back into the ringside area but he counters into a powerslam. The Rock grabs the ring bell and hits it off Mankind’s head and tries a Rock Bottom but the table collapses under their weight. Mick won’t quit. Rock spits water in his face but Mankind comes back. Rock and Mankind brawl up the ramp and into the technical area, where the Rock DDTs him on the floor. Rock demands Mankind quit, he refuses. Rock gets a ladder but Mankind charges into the ladder and traps Rock beneath it. He tries an elbow but Rock moves and Mankind elbows the ladder. Rock climbs the ladder onto the edge of the stage set-up. Mankind follows and they brawl on the edge. Rock low blows Mankind and tosses him down onto the electrical equipment; it sparks and the lights in the arena go out. They sell it like he could be dead of electrocution. The spotlight in the arena works so we can see. Shane McMahon comes out to add to the realism; he tries to stop the match but the Rock tells him to go screw and continues the beat down. The Rock handcuffs Mankind’s arms behind him; Mick manages a low blow and stomps away and drops a knee to Rocky’s balls. Rock gets a chair and rests it on his face and drops the Corporate Elbow; Mick STILL won’t quit so Rock grabs the chair; anyone who is a wrestling fan should have seen Beyond the Mat, I saw it in the theaters, knows the whole back story to this part. Rock then hits Mankind in the head about twenty times. Mankind says he’ll have to kill him. Rock hits him about ten more times in the head, unprotected. Concussions? What are those? Michael Cole and Lawler beg Mankind to quit. Mankind is out cold and shoves the microphone in Mankind’s face; someone in the back plays a clip of Mankind saying “I quit” from a previous promo. Either, Earl Hebner believes it or just went along to save Mankind from permanent brain damage calls for the bell, Rock wins the title back. Post-match Mick Foley gets up on his own power refusing to be stretchered out. 7.5/10 Brutal ending; it is still uncomfortable to watch especially now knowing all of the other stuff with Chris Benoit and concussions. Still, it does not hurt the match quality.

The past half year of Steve Austin versus Mr. McMahon and the Survivor Series where he got screwed out of the title and forced him to wrestle the Undertaker in a buried alive match. When that did not work, he put Austin at #1 and a $100,000 bounty on whoever eliminates him. They show clips of Austin on Heat entering the arena via his monster car limo and Mr. McMahon slapping him.

The Royal Rumble:   #1 “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and #2 Mr. McMahon start us off via a million storyline reasons. Mr. McMahon does not use No Chance in Hell for his entrance yet as it was the PPV theme at this point; he would use if from hereafter though. Mr. McMahon is a little over-oiled for this event. Austin murders Vince at the bell but does not toss him out in lieu of additional punishment. The crowd explodes. Austin stomps his grapefruits. Here is #3 Golga with his Eric Cartman shirt. Austin Thesz presses McMahon as Golga attacks from behind; Austin quickly ELIMINATES him as McMahon flees under the bottom rope and they head through the crowd into the back. #4 Droz arrives to an empty ring as Vince and Austin battle in the back. Austin runs into a trap as Test, Ken Shamrock and the Big Bossman ambush Austin and knocks out the cameraman. Back in the ring Droz, in his Legion of Doom member phase, awaits #5 Edge. Edge crossbodies him but Droz hits a reverse elbow. They brawl on the ropes as the commentators speculate what could be happening in the back. Nice dropkick by Edge as the man called #6 Gillberg heads to the ring. Gillberg poses on the ropes where Edge upends him ELIMINATING him. Back in the back, Austin is left lying and, back in the ring, Edge and Droz continue their mini battle. Now #7 “Lethal Weapon” Steve Blackman heads out and kicks the crap out of Edge. Meanwhile, Steve Austin is wheeled out on a stretcher. In the ring Blackman is ninja kicking the crap out of everyone until Droz and Edge gang up on him. #8 Dan “The Beast” Severn heads to the ring fresh off his neck “injury” from an Owen Hart piledriver. Blackman and Severn battle because he screwed Blackman in a Lion’s Den match versus Owen. They show Austin being wheeled out into an ambulance. Meanwhile, everyone battles on the ropes #9 Tiger Ali Singh heads to the ring as Austin’s ambulance pulls away. No one has been eliminated during all of the cut scenes. Edge almost eliminates Ali Singh.

Here comes #10 The Blue Meanie, who was part of the J.O.B. Squad, who was feuding with the Brood, so he and Edge battle. Meanie hammers on Tiger Ali Singh. More, on the ropes brawling, as #11 Headbanger Mosh was supposed to come out but Mabel attacks him in the back and takes his place. Not quite sure how that is legal but… whatever. Mabel ELIMINATES Severn and Blackman who were battling on the ropes. He then ELIMINATES Tiger Ali Singh. Everyone tries to gang up on Mabel as #12 Road Dogg heads out; Mabel ELIMINATES Droz and then he ELIMINATES Blue Meanie. Edge low blows Mabel and he and Road Dogg battle; Edge is ELIMINATED by Road Dogg. Mabel and Road Dogg battle in the ring as the lights go out and Undertaker’s Ministry music hits. The whole Ministry show up and ELIMINATE Mable and bring him to the Undertaker at the top of the aisle. Taker demands Mabel take he as his lord and savior. I hated this whilst it was happening but looking back on it now, I kinda like it; I wish they would do more interesting stuff like this again. Mabel initially refuses but the Ministry forces him into the back. Now Road Dogg is in the ring alone. Here is #13 Gangrel; Road Dogg ELIMINATES him rather quickly and is alone again. #14 Kurrgan runs down in possibly the worst ring attire ever; gone is the destructive force and left behind is a nitwit babyface jobber. Kurrgan, however, annihilates him with a sidewalk slam and beats him down until #15 Al Snow, the leader of the J.O.B. Squad runs down. Al Snow is missing head, stolen by Goldust, leaving him “directionless”. They team up on Kurrgan and try to eliminate him. Road Dogg releases his grip and pushes Al Snow out, ELIMINATING him; not smart as Kurrgan takes over on Road Dogg again. Here comes #16 Goldust as Kurrgan knees Road Dogg in the corner. Goldust flying clotheslines Road Dogg; Goldust finally takes over on Kurrgan DDTing him. Road Dogg kicks Kurrgan and Goldust in the head. Road Dogg tries to hit L1 and R1 to steal Goldust’s Shattered Dreams finisher in the corner (complete with R3 rotation to steal the taunt) but Kurrgan grabs him from behind. Here is #17 Godfather with his hoes. Everyone brawls on the ropes as the Godfather takes forever to get to the ring. He finally gets there and takes on Goldust. Here is #18 Kane, who was an unwilling member of the Corporation because Mr. McMahon and Shane McMahon threatened to have him recommitted if he did not help them. He refused to “lay down” for the Rock in an act of defiance so the Corporation is gunning for him. Godfather hits the Ho Train on Goldust. Kane heads in and immediately ELIMINATES Road Dogg; he then ELIMNATES Kurrgan. Kane clotheslines Godfather over the top, ELIMINATING him. He choke tosses Goldust over the top thus ELIMINATING him and Kane stands tall… until the orderlies from the insane asylum runs down; he chokeslams a few, steps over the top rope, ELIMINATING himself and escapes through the crowd. #19 Ken Shamrock heads into an empty ring; with no one but a Corporate member in the ring, Mr. McMahon is brave enough to head back out to the ring and then props himself down at the announce table. Shamrock yells at the fans as Mr. McMahon gloats on commentary of taking out Stone Cold for the night.

#20 Billy Gunn hobbles to the ring with one boot off. How convenient! They’re feuding. Shamrock kicks his leg out and destroys it. Gunn manages a backdrop suplex and press-slams him into the top turnbuckle. He tosses Shamrock over the top but not out; Shamrock returns and clips his leg. Here comes #21 Test to the ring. Meanwhile in the back the Ministry stuff Mabel into a hearse (he would return as Viscera); in the background an ambulance shows up being driven by Steve Austin. Mr. McMahon gulps at the sight of it. Billy low blows both Corporate Team members and double clotheslines them just as #22 Big Bossman heads out. Steve Austin heads back to the ring where he chases Mr. McMahon around the ring but gets caught by Ken Shamrock; Mr. McMahon slides under the bottom rope and retreats back to the commentary position. Austin ELIMINATES Ken Shamrock as the Bossman finally makes it to the ring. Bossman beats on Austin as McMahon is visibly frustrated on commentary. Austin chokes Bossman on the ropes and #23 Triple H heads to the ring. HHH goes for Test for future transgressions that haven’t occurred yet. Billy Gunn attacks Austin because he wants the money. Triple H tries to toss Austin as in interesting dichotomy develops; everyone keeps saving Austin from being eliminated so they can get the money for themselves. Austin clobbers Billy Gunn with a clothesline. Here is #24 Val Venis running to the ring and takes out Austin. Test catches Austin with a boot. Billy Gunn beats Austin in the corner so Stone Cold stomps his foot and ELIMINATES him. Austin goes for HHH and Bossman. #25 X-Pac runs out; the Corporation beats on him. Val nails Austin with a top rope double axe handle. Test chokes Austin under the bottom rope. Bossman hangs HHH almost out. Here comes #26 “Sexual Chocolate” Mark Henry jogs into the ring; X-Pac spin roundhouse kicks Austin. Henry and Bossman double team Austin but it backfires. X-Pac stomps on Austin in the corner. Everyone hangs on the ropes saving elimination; time for #27 Jeff Jarrett, with Debra, to head to the ring. Jarrett hammers X-Pac for costing him his hair at Summerslam. X-Pac clobbers HHH with a kick and follows up with a Bronco Buster on Big Bossman. Jarrett works over Austin. #28 D’Lo Brown who has P.M.S. (Terri Runnels and Jacqueline) with him, why I cannot recall, I think it had something to do with a pregnancy angle and Terri Runnels. D’Lo goes after Test; Austin ELIMINATES Test. Bossman immediately ELIMINATES X-Pac right after. Henry clotheslines HHH as Bossman and Jarrett try to toss Austin; Austin comes back Thesz pressing Jarrett and Triple H ELIMINATES him. Now #29 Owen Hart comes out, in his “danger” singlet, I loved that look. Owen goes for Austin. Steve Austin bails to the floor to drink some water and douse McMahon on commentary. D’Lo attacks Austin upon his reentry. The final entrant is #30 Chyna marking the debut of a woman in the Rumble. Mark Henry, who had been proclaiming he had nailed her, gets attacked immediately by Chyna. Chyna ELIMINATES Henry but Austin sneaks up on her and ELIMINATES her. HHH angrily attacks him immediately. Austin comes back but Hunter facebusters him. Val Venis pushes him away and tries to toss Austin. HHH recovers and ELIMINATES Venis and McMahon’s plan is backfiring as everyone keeps saving Austin and eliminating each other. Austin catches Triple H with a Stone Cold Stunner and ELIMINATES him. D’Lo hits a leg lariat on Austin and Owen and Bossman work over each other in the corner. Austin avoids another D’Lo leg kick and works over him in the corner. Owen tries to toss the Bossman; D’Lo and Owen switch off and Owen enziguris Austin. Owen charges Austin in the corner but Austin backdrops him out, ELIMINATING him. The final four for the 1999 Royal Rumble are; Big Bossman, Steve Austin, D’Lo Brown and Mr. McMahon, sitting at the announce position. Bossman attacks Austin and knocks him down; D’Lo adds a chest-protector enhanced Low Down on Austin. D’Lo celebrates a little too much so Bossman ELIMINATES him; then Bossman turns right into a stunner and he is ELIMINATED. It comes down to Austin versus McMahon, again. Austin goes for him and destroys him into the crowd. Back to ringside Austin murders McMahon with a chair. Back in the ring Stone Cold preps to toss McMahon but a desperation low blow gets Vince some breathing room. Austin stunners McMahon and it about to toss but the Rock saunters down to the ring. He distracts Austin allowing McMahon to sneak up and with Rock’s help ELIMINATE him. Yes, Vince McMahon has won the 1999 Royal Rumble; tune into Monday Night Raw to find out WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Post-match Shane, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco toast Mr. McMahon with beers, mocking Austin’s victory celebrations. 2.5/10 Boring Rumble that basically was a backdrop for the Austin/McMahon storyline; the whole pay $35 for a PPV to promote the next night’s FREE Raw was a little annoying.

The 411:  Possible the worst Rumble event ever; the Monday Night Wars killed the PPV because it was all about ratings, so the PPVs were set-ups for the next night’s Monday show. Annoying. Also the rest of the show was pretty painful; the Rock versus Mankind is the only salvageable thing from the show.
Final Score:  2.0   [ Very Bad ]