Random Network Reviews: Insurrextion 2001

Insurrextion 2001
May 5th, 2001 | Earls Court in London, England | Attendance: 15,794

Oh man, these England exclusive Pay-Per-Views can definitely be hard to sit through. A lot of the time, the effort is just not there for these things. This also takes place during a weird time period for the WWF. I’ve always noted how strange it was in between the end of WrestleMania X-Seven and the start of the Invasion.

The show is already off to a weird start as we go right backstage to Commissioner Regal. The fans pop when they see him. Vince McMahon comes in to question him changing the card at the last minute, but Regal informs him that it was Linda McMahon’s idea. Vince is all like “MY WIFE?” He acts all high and mighty until Linda shows up and shows him who wears the pants in the relationship.

Commentary for this show is a pairing I don’t hear often, Michael Cole and Paul Heyman.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Grand Master Sexay
Ever the heel, Eddie Guerrero attacks from behind before the bell. Eddie mocks Sexay with the shades before throwing them into the stands. Sexay comes back with some dropkicks and a baseball slide, but his dancing allows Eddie to take back over. This is why you never won any singles gold dude. Eddie does some dancing to my amusement. Sexay misses the Hip Hop Drop but gets up in time to prevent the Frog Splash. When Sexay misses a bronco buster, Eddie roll shim up with his feet on the ropes to steal this.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero in 4:31
Not the greatest opener ever, but this was fun. Eddie Guerrero stealing the Grand Master dances was entertaining and the crowd was very anti-Eddie. It was short and inoffensive. **

Backstage, Triple H tells Stephanie that he’s confident about the main event.

Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn w/ Terri Runnels vs. Crash, Hardcore and Molly Holly
This was supposed to be a six person tag but Terri bows out because she “couldn’t find proper ring attire.” I really like Molly Holly. She goes after Terry early and hits her with a Northern lights suplex before going into a swing like she’s Cesaro or something. Saturn, in his weird ass attire goes after her but Hardcore stops him. Saturn hits Crash with a bit T-Bone but Crash instantly takes down Malenko once he gets tagged. They work a very short heat on Hardcore surprisingly. It’s so strange seeing a hot tag go to Crash freaking Holly. He hits an ugly flying hurricanrana before a Stratusfaction that Trish could do better in her sleep. Terri interrupts the pin, leading to a brawl with Molly. That distraction leads to Saturn winning with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza on Crash.

Winners: Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn in 5:37
Another relatively fine match here. It was again, kept rather short and inoffensive. The hot tag to Crash was weird but it made sense given he would eat the pin. Molly was the best thing about this match, but didn’t get to do enough. *¾

Big Show comes out even though Linda McMahon cancelled his match against Test due to injury. He says that he didn’t come out to this rinky dink island for nothing. Look at Show getting that cheap heat. He demands that Test face him like a man, but only to raise his hand in victory. Test comes out and it leads to a brawl. Show has the obvious advantage due to Test’s taped ribs. Officials come out to stop this so Show calls out the locker room and fans. Out comes Bradshaw for a fight.

Big Show vs. Bradshaw
Since Bradshaw came out while Big Show was leaving, their brawl starts in the aisle. They just wail on each other throughout this thing. They go outside and Show tosses the referee aside. He then goes after Test again, who is being helped out of the arena. He tries to use a chair but Test big boots it into his face. Clothesline from Hell hits and that’s a wrap.

Winner: Bradshaw in 3:20
Nothing affair. It was just two guys pummeling each other with not many actual moves happening. Granted, they shouldn’t try to do something they aren’t capable of, but that doesn’t mean it was very good. *

Steve Austin is interviewed by a youthful and nerdy looking Jonathan Coachman. He basically says that the Two Man Power Trip will take out Undertaker just like they did to Kane.

The Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Justin Credible and X-Pac w/ Albert
X-Pac is wearing a bandana on his head and his face. Matt Hardy is the European Champion here and there is no Lita. Justin Credible gets his ass kicked by Bubba Ray so hard early on that he runs and tags out. Christian and Matt fight next in a battle of talented guys who just happened to have better partners. We get a fair amount of in and out tags. The three famous teams here have such good chemistry but X-Factor does their best to keep up. Heyman does a job in putting over how the winner may earn a shot at Triple H and Austin, but if someone pins Matt, they could be in line for a European Title shot. I appreciate the little things. Things break down and, despite a miscue and interference from Albert, X-Factor is eliminated with a Swanton Bomb at5:41. Edge and Christian sneak in as X-Factor beats up Matt, and eliminate the Hardys when Christian hits Jeff with the Unprettier at 6:01. The heels work heat on D-Von for a while, but it isn’t the most exciting stuff. They even pull out the old school “hot tag that the referee misses” spot. Bubba gets the tag and does what guys who get the hot tag do. The fans pop for the WHASSSUPP headbutt. Cole says WHASSSUPP is a Universal language thing like people in England don’t speak English or something. They go for tables and hit E&C with them. Shouldn’t that be a DQ? With the official distracted, Rhyno shows up to Gore Bubba, giving E&C the win.

Winners: Edge and Christian in 13:21
Our match of the night so far. I commend X-Factor for holding their own in there with three very superior teams. When it boiled down to the final two teams, they did basic tag formula, but worked it rather well. This moves along at a pretty good pace. **¾

After some clips of a charity event and a Kurt Angle interview, Steven Richards and Ivory come out. I thought the Right of Censor pretty much died at WrestleMania X-Seven. They run down how censorship isn’t high in the UK. According to Richards, Regal has allowed him to censor the ladies battle royal tonight. He brings the ladies out to show that they have changed their ways. He brings out Jacqueline, Trish Stratus and Lita. Ivory runs down all three girls before saying they are wasting time on that collection of trash. This leads to Ivory getting attacked and stripped to her bloomers. Steven gets mad, so Trish fake seduces him before delivering a low blow. He also ends up in his underwear. If you didn’t bring enough girls for a battle royal, why advertise it?

Two out of Three Falls
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
Two of the very best of all-time were in the midst of a pretty great rivalry. At this point, Chris Benoit had stolen Kurt Angle’s medals. They start with the usual mat work, where Benoit comes close to locking in the Crossface. It turns into a slugfest, but ends with Benoit nearly applying the Crossface. They are doing a great job of showing how legit that move is. Angle uses a classic heel tactic by goading Benoit around the ring and takes control. Benoit does snap off a sweet belly to belly, a la Owen Hart. Benoit looks like he’s going for Three Amigos before it was famous but the third suplex is a front one onto the top rope. He hits three Germans and the diving headbutt to take the first fall. Angle sends Benoit into the steps outside, trying to even the score. A top rope belly to belly and an Angle slam both get two. Heyman does a great job in pointing out how everything Angle does has a meaning behind it. Despite Angle dominating now, Benoit is coming close with rollups, which frustrates Angle. He nearly hits a second headbutt, but Angle avoids it. Angle finally applies the Ankle Lock but Benoit rolls out into the Crossface. Angle counters but gets pulled into a small package to complete the sweep.

Winner: Chris Benoit in 14:23
I honestly don’t think these guys have ever had a bad match. Now, they’ve definitely had better and this might be the worst I can recall, but it’s still a damn good match. They set such a high bar though, that even a really good match is a bit of a disappointment for them. Kurt Angle getting frustrated because he couldn’t find his medals or get a pinfall was fun and gave this a different feel to some of their other matches. ***¾

After the match, Chris Benoit reveals that he has hidden Kurt Angle’s gold medals in his trunks. He pulls them from his crotch and wears them.

Duchess of Queensbury Rules Match
Chris Jericho vs. William Regal
At Backlash a few weeks before, they had this same type of match for the Queen’s Cup. This starts pretty basic, with Chris Jericho hitting his usual stuff before William Regal sends him into the ring post to turn the tide. Regal works him over until he comes back with a big hurricanrana for two. Regal suplexes the hell out of him and waves to the fans. They boo but Heyman says they’re chanting “Regal.” They continue to go back and forth but it seems so uninspired. Most of this is spent with Regal wearing down Jericho. Jericho scores on a bulldog but the Lionsault is blocked by Regal’s knees. He hits a big suplex for two and can’t believe it. Jericho then gets the Walls in and Regal taps.

Winner: Chris Jericho in 14:46
Technically, this wasn’t bad, but it was just severely lacking. I know that they can do so much better and this kind of felt like two guys going through the motions. Very disappointing, as their feud had fallen since it’s in ring peak at WrestleMania X-Seven. **

WWF Championship Handicap Match
Steve Austin (c) and Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon vs. The Undertaker
A handicap match for a title is strange. Undertaker gets a chair at the start to keep his opponents at bay. As one would expect, this is a brawl. They fight in the aisle and at ringside. Every single time Undertaker gains the upper hand, the numbers disadvantage comes into play. Once the match slows down, we see that the Two Man Power Trip will be tagging in and out. I never liked this style of handicap match because you can’t build to a hot tag at all, so when Taker eventually makes his rally, it kind of diminishes the “cutting the ring in half” strategy from regular tags. What does work is that the crowd bites on every sliver of hope that Taker does end up getting the win. Heyman calls Triple H the MVP of the match and in perfect timing, Taker Chokeslams him through the announce table, leaving Austin alone. He hits one on Austin inside but only gets two. Trips is up shockingly fast but Taker still has the upper hand. Vince comes out with a chair but hits HHH by mistake. Taker hits Chokeslams on both Vince and Hunter before pinning Trips to get a three count. Since Austin wasn’t pinned though, he keeps the belt.

Winner: The Undertaker in 17:16
As I said, the tag formula version of a handicap match is not very good. Also, Undertaker pinning Triple H, knowing that it wouldn’t win him the WWF Title made him seem dumb. The Two Man Power Trip looked pretty weak here, which I’m also not a fan of. This felt like a Raw main event. **½

4.0

The final score: review Poor

The 411

Another in a line of England only Pay-Per-Views that isn’t very good. Granted there are some things to check out. The Two out of Three Falls match rules and the four way tag is fun. However, everything else either disappointed greatly or just flat out sucked. Not the best way to spend two and a half hours, but you should go see Angle/Benoit at least.