wrestling / Video Reviews
Random Network Reviews: Starrcade 1990
Loading...Starrcade 1990
December 16th, 1990 – Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis, Missouri – Attendance: 7,200
What are the chances that I review two random shows back to back and both are in St. Louis? Well, here goes my first review of WCW’s biggest yearly event, Starrcade. This edition has a sub heading of Collision Course and I’m pretty happy to watch as it’s a show I’ve never seen before. There seem to be a ton of matches on the card, judging by the amount of blips on my WWE Network stream.
Commentary consists of Jim Ross and Paul E. Dangerously, so that should be a highlight of the event.
Beautiful Bobby vs. The Z-Man
So, Beautiful Bobby is introduced, I shit you not, from the “Dark Side”. They do this “Starrcade Stats” thing, which tells us that Z-Man is on a 35 match winning streak! Basic wrestling sequence starts, until Z-Man hits two springboard cross bodies for two. Eaton seems to be using his veteran savvy against the upstart opponent, which is a smart plan for this contest. Z-Man lands on his feet when he’s flipped, so he nails a dropkick for two. Heyman is totally behind Eaton. Z-Man is knocked outside but he suplexes him onto the runway aisle that WCW has before he dives over onto him. I would give him credit for being ahead of his time with that but he tried to pin Eaton outside and loses all credibility from me. Bobby gets the upper hand inside and hits a top rope leg drop. He misses his next move though and Z-Man hits another dropkick. He kicks Eaton as he leaps from the top before going up on his own. He tries a dropkick but Eaton dodges and rolls him up to end the winning streak.
Winner: Beautiful Bobby in 8:45
Decent little opener here. The crowd was into it and they tried multiple high risk moves. It wasn’t anything special, but I enjoyed it. **¼
We go to Tony Schiavone who introduces Dick the Bruiser. He rambles about Steel Cage matches. A HUGE trophy is brought out for the Pat O’Connor Memorial International Cup Tag Team Tournament. That’s not a mouthful. Eight flags are brought out because each team represents eight countries.
Tournament Quarterfinal
The Steiner Brothers vs. Sgt. Krueger and Col. DeKierk
This is USA, the one seed, against South Africa, the eighth seed. I could tell the South African team looked familiar and I realize that DeKierk is Flyboy Rocco Rock of Public Enemy and research shows his partner is Matt Bourne, the original Doink. “USA” chants right at the bell. Man, future Doink was kind of chubby here. He gets in some quick offense, but the crowd is silent until a STEINERLINE! Tag to the Colonel, who Dangerously dubs the high flier of the team. He does nails a spinning heel kick but when he goes to front flip outside, Rick barely catches him and then just drops him. Scott gets the tag and dominates. One Frankensteiner later and this is over quick.
Winners: The Steiner Brothers in 2:12
As far as one versus eight matches in a tournament go, this was about what you’d expect. SQUASH
Tournament Quarterfinal
Chris Adams and Normal Smiley vs. Konan and Rey Mysterio
IT’S SCREAMING NORMAL SMILEY! Also, this is not the Rey Mysterio you think it is, but it is the BOWDY BOWDY ROWDY ROWDY Konan though he has a mask. They represent Mexico while the others are for Great Britain. They have matching underwear. Smiley and Adams do a cool combo that end with a double dropkick. HUGE superkick from Adams knocks Mysterio outside. Konan comes in and uses a head scissors to take Smiley over. Smiley nails a sweet fisherman’s suplex for two. We slow for a bit and I’d also like to point out that these are the four and five seeds. A superkick into a German suplex nearly ends this but Smiley’s pin is broken up. Smiley and Adams have looked great together. Konan hits an inverted suplex before an odd pinning combination gets him the win.
Winners: Konan and Rey Mysterio in 5:29
Team Great Britain looked fantastic as this was fast paced for the most part and a ton of fun. I’m disappointed that team Mexico won since the other team was much more impressive. The finish was awkward though. ***¼
We go to Missy Hyatt who is interviewing Michael Wall Street and Alexandra York about the upcoming match between Michael and Terry Taylor. Her “computer” looks hilarious when compared to this day and age.
Tournament Quarterfinal
The Royal Family vs. Mr. Saito and the Great Muta
Japan is the two seed against number seven New Zealand. Jack Victory, who I know best from his time with Steve Corino in ECW, is part of the Royal Family. He opens against Muta, who wins their exchange and dives on him on the outside. Saito gets the tag and ends up getting worked over by the Royal Family for a while. Once Muta gets the tag, the crowd wakes up some because he’s awesome. A miscue by the Royal Family allows Muta to hit a German suplex that gets the three.
Winners: Mr. Saito and the Great Muta in 5:41
Nothing much here. About as basic a tag formula match as you can have. Muta was the only one who impressed. *
Paul E. interviews the winners about the possibility of facing the Steiner Brothers in the finals. Mr. Saito says they’re the best in the world. I totally see this ending with the one seed against the two seed.
Tournament Quarterfinal
Bull Johnson and Troy Montour vs. Victor Zangiev and Salmon Hasimikov
Bull and Troy represent Canada, which seriously makes me question WCW’s talent scouts. There weren’t at least two better Canadians they could find? Their opponents are the three seeded USSR. These guys are billed as great amateur wrestlers. The name Zangiev just makes me think of Zangief from Street Fighter. I don’t know which is which, but the very hairy Soviet instantly grounds Johnson. He hits a belly to belly suplex but this is painfully dull. It ends with a suplex on Montour.
Winners: The Soviets in 3:54
That sucked. The Soviets work a very slow and boring style, which was made worse by their awkward opponents. DUD.
Tony Schiavone interviews Sting about the big main event against the Black Scorpion before we see a quick recap of some of the build for the next match.
Michael Wall Street w/ Alexandra York vs. Terry Taylor
Terry Taylor means business after Alexandra York slapped him a few weeks back. According to our lovely “Starrcade Stats”, Taylor is ranked 8th in the world and Wall Street is ranked 7th. I have no clue what the rankings mean. A timer appears because according to York’s computer, it won’t take any longer than eight minutes and some odd seconds for Wall Street to win. Taylor gets quick near falls that cause Michael to rethink strategy outside. That works as once he’s back in, he takes control. Michael hits a backbreaker and suplex for two. He applies an abdominal stretch with just over four minutes on the clock, using the ropes for leverage. Man, I really miss little things like that from heels these days. With about three minutes remaining, Taylor starts to rally with some super generic face moves. We’re talking atomic drops, back body drops and jaw breakers. He nails the FIVEARM but his ring presence lacks as Michael gets his foot on the ropes. They get up, leading Michael to nail the EDDIE GILBERT HOTSHOT! He follows with a Samoan Drop, known as the Stock Market Crash, winning with about 1:39 left.
Winner: Michael Wall Street in 6:52
Not bad. Both guys are at least decent in the ring and we get just that. A decent little match. Interesting note, shortly after this, Michael Wall Street defected to WWF as IRS and Terry Taylor took over his gimmick here. **
Big Cat and Motor City Madman vs. The Skyscrapers
Danny Spivey looks like a very tall Steve Austin here, but Sid is my favorite thing when he’s billed from “anywhere he pleases.” They all start with a brawl as the Skyscrapers have the advantage. This is their one night reunion and they dominate. They struggle, but double powerbomb MCM.
Winners: The Skyscrapers in 1:01
They struggled with the big move, which looked pretty lame, but it did its job. SQUASH
Paul E. Dangerously tries to interview the Skyscrapers but gets intimidated as they shout and say they decide if this is a one night reunion or if it is more permanent.
The Freebirds w/ Little Richard Marley vs. Tommy Rich and Ricky Morton w/ Robert Gibson
The faces clear the ring early on as the crowd is hot for them. “Freebirds suck” has been chanted pretty consistently. Michael Hayes attempts to regroup outside and gets nailed by Robert Gibson. The crowd pops completely for this. Inside, Hayes misses a knee drop, and Garvin comes in, leading to stereo Figure Fours. They shout that it’s for Gibson, so I guess that might be how they injured Gibson. The match hasn’t been great, but the fans are hot. Little Richard Marley is brought in the hard way, only to be spanked. Hayes hits a big left hand that takes down Rich. He calls for the DDT, but gets back dropped. Dangerously compares a new team challenging the Freebirds to a new singing group challenging New Kids on the Block to a Battle of the Bands. You have to love the early 90’s. Hayes and Richard go to cheat, so Gibson hits Little Richard with his crutch. He falls on Garvin, who gets mad and chokes him, allowing their opponents to roll him up.
Winners: Tommy Rich and Ricky Morton in 6:13
Another match that isn’t bad, but was inoffensive. The crowd was hot which helped. **
The Freebirds beat up on Little Richard after the match, until the faces make the save. They run out but end up alone with Robert Gibson, and double clothesline him.
Tournament Semifinal
The Steiner Brothers vs. Rey Mysterio and Konan
Konan is limping because he was hurt during the previous match, so I expect this to be relatively fast. He starts with Rick Steiner though, which, if I’m Team Mexico, I start with Mysterio. Scott gets the tag, works over Konan and they nail their super bulldog finisher but don’t cover. Instead, they allow him to get up and tag in Mysterio. Strange. Rick works with Mysterio and hits a modified powerbomb to end this.
Winners: The Steiner Brothers in 2:51
This was odd. They had Mysterio get pinned instead of playing up the injury to Konan. I expected the result, but getting there should have been better. *
Tony Schiavone interviews the Horsemen of Arn Anderson and Barry Windham. Windham is Ric Flair’s replacement tonight because Flair was attacked coming out of his limousine recently. They talk about how violent the match will be.
Tournament Semifinal
Mr. Saito and the Great Muta vs. Victor Zangiev and Salmon Hasimikov
Muta begins with the hairy member of the Soviet team and they do some basic stuff. Hairy man hits a sweet back suplex with a bridge for two. The slightly less hairy Soviet comes in and absolutely takes down Mr. Saito. He applies a Boston Crab that Muta breaks up with a kick. So, the hairier one is Zangiev, who gets the tag and put into a Sharpshooter of sorts. That ends quickly, as Salmon enters and suplexes the hell out of Muta a few times. Another quick tag by the Soviets, leads to Saito clotheslining Victor and then planting him with a suplex for three.
Winners: Mr. Saito and the Great Muta in 3:08
Another short one, but this was better than the previous semifinal. The Soviets looked about as good as they should have, while the Japanese did their thing. **½
It’s as if it’s mandated to go to Tony Schiavone after every match. He interviews Doom, who sell the shit out of this Street Fight. I’m pumped for it now.
United States Heavyweight Championship Texas Lariat Match
Stan Hansen (c) vs. Lex Luger
A Texas Lariat match is just basically a bull rope match. Stan Hansen won the title from Lex Luger about two months prior. Hansen attacks at the bell and chokes Hansen with the rope for a bit. Luger starts to fight back with a headbutt that SHOCKS Jim Ross, who has never seen Lex do that before. Hansen wraps the rope around Luger’s neck and drags him to the corners but Lex stops him. After tossing Luger over the top, he basically hangs him with the rope. Hansen gets to three corners, but Luger hits one of his few moves, the CLOTHESLINE top stop him. They fight outside, where Luger is nailed with a steel chair, which was still a big deal back then. Luger rallies inside and gets very close to winning as the crowd is popping hard. He reaches it but takes out the referee at the same time, so it isn’t seen. Hansen strikes him with his boot. As Nick Patrick shows up, Hansen again wraps the rope around Luger and tries to win again, but Luger wraps himself around the bottom rope, preventing him from winning. That’s an interesting take on this. Hansen hits a Lariat and touches the fourth turnbuckle. BUT WAIT! The original referee is up and says that he saw Lex touch them all!
Winner and New United States Champion: Lex Luger in 10:13
Surprisingly good. Lex Luger has always sucked, but this was a fun brawl. I enjoyed this much more than I expected to. **¾
NWA World Tag Team Championship Street Fight
Doom (c) w/ Teddy Long vs. Arn Anderson and Barry Windham
You know it’s a street fight because all four guys are in jeans and have their fists taped. It starts at the bell with a brawl and spills out to the runway. Anderson whips Simmons with his belt, while Reed suplexes Windham in the ring. Simmons turns the table and beats the hell out of Arn with the belt. Arn is like, fuck the belt, I’ll just grab a chair. Windham is busted open from being thrown into the ring post, while Arn now whips on Reed with a belt. Simmons hits the spinebuster on Windham but it only gets two and commentary sells that as something they’ve never seen. One thing is for sure, this is intense. Simmons goes up top but Windham catches him with a low blow. Superplex from Barry only gets two as Reed climbs up. He hits a big diving shoulder block but Windham breaks up the count. Anderson’s shirt is ripped and he and Reed are bleeding. Simmons hits Arn with a chair for two, while Reed nails a piledriver on Windham. Windham uses a small package for three at the same time that Simmons covers Arn. Both teams are counted down for three.
The match ends in a draw at 7:19
I wish that this got more time. It was an intense brawl that kind of defines good old fashioned street fight. The ending was stupid but it is still match of the night. ***¾
Tournament Finals
Mr. Saito and the Great Muta vs. The Steiner Brothers
According to Paul, Japan has the advantage because the yen is worth more than the dollar. The problem with this Tournament is that the crowd ONLY really cares for the Steiners. Scott starts with Muta which is interesting and they do a wrestling sequence. When Saito and Rick enter, things get a bit harder hitting. STEINERLINE! They trade stuff for a bit until Scott gets a near fall with a belly to belly suplex. Because the foreigners just have to be heels, Muta strikes Rick with the ring bell outside behind the official’s back. Rick is now playing the face in peril until he connects with the STEINERLINE! Scott gets the tag and nails Muta with a back drop and butterfly suplex. Muta comes back by choking Scott for a few. The Japanese hit Scott with a fucking spike piledriver but don’t go for the pin. What is with that in these tag matches? Saito gets Scott in a sleeper hold, but Rick blind tags in and takes him over with a sunset flip to win to a huge pop.
Winners: The Steiner Brothers in 10:52
I was severely underwhelmed by this outing. Both teams are good but this seemed to just be them getting in their stuff and then ending. There seemed to be a lack of motivation. **½
Tony Schiavone interviews the Steiners and they are presented with the huge trophy.
NWA World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match
Sting (c) vs. The Black Scorpion
Dick the Bruiser is the special referee. Multiple Black Scorpions actually come out, nearly all with different body types until the real Black Scorpion appears from a spacecraft like structure. This is some weird ass stuff. I don’t get how someone named the Black Scorpion had magical powers and was from outer space or something. It has nothing to do with a scorpion. We start with a Sting headlock that Scorpion counters with a back suplex. The Scorpion is an odd fellow but his move set is forced to be as generic as possible so nobody knows the identity. I do appreciate a head scissors submission that he does. Black Scorpion continues to stay in control but this is pretty dull. Sting hits a press slam that gets the crowd hyped, but his rally doesn’t sustain. He does hit a nice suplex shortly after for two because Dick counts SO SLOW. Scorpion now throws Sting around the sides of the cage and hits a piledriver for two. Sting begins to make the babyface comeback and throws Scorpion into the cage but he hits SO SOFTLY that it barely registers. Sting hits a bulldog followed by the STINGER SPLASH! Scorpion Death Lock on the Scorpion, which makes total sense but he reaches the ropes. Sting removes the mask but there is another one on under. Scorpion tries to climb out of the cage but is crotched on the rope. Sting sends him into the cage multiple times before a military press sends him into the cage. The Champion gets in some of his offense, hitting a cross body that earns the win.
Winner and Still NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Sting in 18:31
The match itself was a bit of a drag. The Black Scorpion had to do basic stuff and Sting’s comeback wasn’t as fun as it could have been. **¼
The other Scorpions now run in and attack. They are unmasked and revealed to be generic dudes. Arn Anderson appears, nailing Dick the Bruiser with a steel chair. Barry Windham is out too as Arn DDTs Sting on a steel chair while Jim Ross shouts that there’s only “TWO MINUTES LEFT!” Z-Man and Ricky Morton try to run in but get stopped. The Steiners are out to a big pop with bolt cutters and they open the cage. Sting finally reveals the Black Scorpion to be Ric Flair. No surprise there.
