Raw Retrospective: Monday Night Raw 07.26.93

WWF RAW Episode Twenty Seven
July 26, 1993
Taped from New York
Hosts: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon, and Bobby Heenan

Doink is backstage, still angry about when Savage interfered in his two out of three falls match with Jannetty a while back. Doink promises a little surprise if Savage is a “real good boy.” That’s borderline kinky, depending on the surprise. If it’s a dildo – it’s kinky. They cut to the announcers and Savage is ready for that surprise. Stu and Helen Hart are in the balcony, apparently not worthy of front row seats just yet.

Bam Bam Bigelow Vs Bret Hart
This is a rematch from their King of the Ring match, which was pretty awesome in its own right. I expect similar results from this. Luna Vachon is with Bam Bam, for those keeping track. Heenan mentions that Lawler is in New York, whom I’m sure will play no part in this match. Bigelow rakes the eyes and stomps Bret down to assert his dominance. Hart goes down with a shoulder tackle but goes through the legs of Bigelow and clotheslines Bigelow over the top rope to the outside. Hart brawls with Bigelow outside and wins, even with a distraction from Luna. Back in the ring, Hart hits a top rope Thesz press and it looks like Hart has hurt his knee. Bigelow works over the knee as we cut to break. When we come back, Bigelow plants a huge kiss on Luna as Hart is having troubles getting up on the outside. Bigelow hits a HUGE stalling backdrop and they show Stu and Helen, looking disappointed and happy, respectively. Poor Bret. Hart gets whipped into the corner and hit with a huge slam for two. A pair of jumping headbutts follow, but Hart moves on the third one and that leads to a Hart comeback. A big backdrop takes Bigelow out, and a dropkick keeps him down. Hart tries a slug fest and, as you would imagine, Bigelow comes out on top. A sloppy and clearly called dropkick sends Hart halfway across the ring as we transition to a chinlock and a commercial break. The chinlock is still held when we come back (must have been an exciting three minutes), but Bret fights up and dodges a dropkick. Hart goes back to the slug fest and wins it this time and manages to hit a back body drop. Bigelow was one of those guys who was big but it was still believable when the top tier guys did big moves to him like that. Same with Vader, and I think that has to do a lot with why they’re considered some of the best big men. Side Russian leg sweep gets two for Bret, as does a flying clothesline. Hart hops on Bigelow’s back for a sleeper but gets smashed head first into the turnbuckle. Heenan, Vince, and Savage all take turns saying how the sleeper didn’t work. Bigelow tosses Hart in the ropes, misses a clothesline, and gets hit with a bulldog. Hart goes to lock in the sharpshooter as Jerry the King Lawler’s voice comes over the PA. He speaks with Stu, who puts over his son. Hart tries to get to the King, but Bigelow takes advantage. The “interview” goes on during the rest of the match, which really takes away from it. King makes some horrible line along the lines of, “put your false teeth back in and eat yourself to death.” What the fuck does that even mean? Back to the action, Bigelow continues picking apart Hart. Bigelow gets a two count after tossing Bret chest first in the turnbuckle. A Bigelow senton is followed by a…SWANTON!? It misses, but damn. The crowd doesn’t care about the rest of this match thanks to Lawler’s continual talking, which is a shame. Bigelow goes down after three clothesline but kicks out at two. DDT lays Bigelow out in the ring and Hart rushes through the crowd after Stu recommends to Lawler to challenge Bret. Bret gets counted out at 15:55. *** Really good match ruined by the King’s antics. It’s one thing to come out, talk a bit then have the finish of the match, but to drag it out for five minutes of a 15 minute match is just stupid, and ruined what could have been a four-star match.
Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow

Hart goes “chasing” Lawler, and by chasing I mean slowly walking up the stairs. He can’t find Lawler, but he does hug some fans (because he’s PISSED) and goes to his parents.

Mr. Hughes Vs Ross Greenberg
They announce Giant Gonzalez Vs The Undertaker for Summerslam, which makes zero sense considering the entire feud has been surrounded by Hughes stealing the urn. In fact, another wreath is brought to the ring, continuing the feud with no pay off. It’s also announced as a “RIP Match,” though none of the announces are really sure what that is. Awesome. Hughes manages to make an eye rake take over 10 seconds, followed by an eye rake that takes less than a second. Greenberg goes down with a big boot and stays down with some tiny boots. Powerbomb is followed by…Hughes smashing Greenberg face first in the turnbuckle. I don’t get it. A nasty Bossman slam finishes things at 3:03. DUD. I care even less about Hughes knowing Gonzalez is going to finish this feud. I mean, what’s the point? Hughes destroys the wreath once more, because he’s a bad ass.
Winners: Mr. Hughes

RCA Records is releasing Wrestlemania: The Album and tomorrow WWF Superstars will be at K-Marts all over America! I remember when K-Marts used to be popular. Tiny Tim gets a new ukulele, so yay. Vince puts over Savage’s singing ability on the album.

The Smoking Gunns Vs Dwayne Gill and Glen Ruth
Gill and Bill start things off with the first ever mid-air drop toe hold. Gill and Ruth eat dropkicks and Bart gets the tag, but Gill rakes the eyes and is able to tag in Ruth, which leads to a double crossbody by Bart. Ruth gets caught in a bodyslam and Billy gets the tag and a legdrop. Bart gets tagged in once more and Ruth eats a double Side Russian leg sweep. Billy takes the tag and hits a dropkick, because we need more Billy Gunn dropkicks. Bart is tagged and hits a couple knee drops and a suplex. Billy tags back in and hits a clothesline. Bart takes the tag and Billy backdrops Ruth into a Bart Gunn piledriver for the pin at 4:16. DUD. Tag team squashes don’t work, and this is no exception.
Winner: The Smoking Gunns

Ludvig Borga video package. He can clothesline and backdrop people, and he’s an evil Finnish heel. Everyone knows how deep the Finland-America feud lies. It’s about ten seconds long and is absolutely awful.

Pre-taped interview time with Lex and Vince in an empty arena. Lex talks about loving America and his Summerslam title match. He’s ecstatic and the “biggest thing about the Lex Express has been amazing.” Whatever that means. There’s a stipulation in that Lex must wear a forearm pad, which isn’t a big deal for Luger. Vince has some “tough” questions for Lex in the coming weeks, and Luger is ready. People have already been asking him and he’ll give them a straight answer. The Lex Express doesn’t end just because he got his match – it’s going coast to coast and he’s bringing the world title back where it belongs.

Doink the Clown Vs Phil Apollo
Doink comes out with a unicycle, though he doesn’t ride out on it. He just has a unicycle because, damnit, he’s Doink the Clown. Grapple and a forearm starts things off for Doink. Apollo gets slammed and Doink works the arm. Belly to belly leads and more arm work. Doink rides the bike to which Vince calls a figure four. Vince mentions there were eighteen Doinks on the last episode of Superstars. I’m interested. Bodyslam and the Whoopie Cushion finishes things at 2:30. * A squash, but an entertaining squash.
Winner: Doink the Clown

We come back from break with Doink calling out Randy Savage. He has something to say and wants to say it face to face. Vince stops Savage from entering the ring, so Doink goes to the commentators himself. Doink feigns scared and perfects the Joker years before it mattered. Doink challenges Savage to a one on one match, to which Savage accepts for next week. A pair of Doinks appear in the ring and crowd. Savage doesn’t care if there are twenty thousand Doinks, he wants the match! This should have taken place at Summerslam, as it’s already shaping up to be an oddly booked card.

The 411: Decent show this week with a great opening match outside of the ending. The other matches didn’t offer too much, but when one of the matches lasts 15 minutes you can’t expect much more from this era. The promo for Wrestlemania: The Album and Ludvig Borga are so cheesy they’re entertaining, and the Lex Express stuff is decent enough until you realize what the end outcome was.
Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]