Raw Retrospective: Monday Night Raw 08.02.93

WWF RAW Episode Twenty Eight
August 2, 1993
Live from Alexandria Bay, New York
Hosts: Vince McMahon, and Bobby Heenan

We kick the show off with a replay of Doink’s challenge to Savage last week and how Savage will be seeing triple vision. Nobody in the arena seems all that perturbed by the whole thing outside of Vince, but that’s Vinnie Mac for you. Savage is off commentary duty due to his match with Doink tonight. Heenan doubts the match will be one-on-one, and isn’t even sure of the number. We cut to a Savage promo in the back, who’s expecting a thousand Doinks tonight, though he’s got a little surprise of his own. Hah – foreshadowing in MY wrestling?

The Steiner Brothers Vs Barry Horowitz and Duane Gill
The arena appears a bit darker than the Manhattan Center and it’s kind of odd seeing the show take place in a different arena. Horowitz and Scott start out and a huge hip toss starts things off poorly for the jobbers. Horowitz tries one of his own but gets sent flying with a body to body suplex. The commentary sounds like they’re in an empty room, which just odds to the weirdness of this show. Rick gets the tag and creeps Horowitz out with his rape eyes (and as soon as I type that Vince says, “Rick will attempt to have his way with Horowitz” to which Heenan responds, “HE WILL!”), which prompts the tag to Gill. Scott tags in and hits a big pump handle slam followed by a Frankensteiner for two at 2:45. *, slightly better than their normal squash matches.
Winner: The Steiner Brothers

Up next is part one of a five part “Who is Lex luger” interview. Tonight’s topic is Academics. He talks about how his father stressed academics more than anything else, include athletics. He sang chorus and was made fun of during school. Identity and self-esteem are discussed next. He’s always had a certain feeling that athletics is his main form of communication. People might think he’s arrogant, but his friends know he’s shy and humble. It should be noted throughout the entire interview they would randomly zoom in on his mouth or have two Lex’s shadow over another and talk at the same time. Well, that was awful. Next week Lex Luger will have a contract signing with Yokozuna for Summerslam.

Adam Bomb Vs Tony Roy
I still don’t understand how Adam Bomb and Johnny Polo ever met up. They show a bunch of kids looking scared of Adam Bomb, but I think it was more their fear of a horrible squash coming up. Adam Bomb smashes Roy’s face in the mat, knees him in the gut, smashes his face in the turnbuckle, and kicks him while he’s down. Polo cuts a promo inbetween kicks and is instantly the most interesting person in the match. Bomb drops Roy on the top rope, hits a backdrop, and botches a flying clothesline. Atom Smasher finishes things at 2:10. DUD. I wonder if anyone paid money specifically to see Adam Bomb.
Winners: Adam Bomb

Next week it’s Tatanka Vs Mr. Hughes! Yeah, they’re using this to promote next week’s show.

Doink the Clown Vs Randy Savage
Vince calling Doink evil as he rides a unicycle is hilarious to me. Savage gets a huge response coming out, and is still dressed in America. Kind of makes you wonder why they went with Luger and not Savage. Doink mocking Savage during his entrance is awesome and better than both squashes. Savage checks under the ring to make sure there’s not an extra Doink or two before we officially begin things. Both men grapple but Savage ducks a suckerpunch and gets mocked by Doink. Huge “MACHO” chants as Savage takes Doink down, but only gets laughed at. Savage grapples and works the arm but Doink bites the face, drawing the ire of Savage. He grabs a chair and brings it inside though the ref takes it away. This allows Doink to attack from behind and choke him out with his boot. Doink locks in the Boston crab and uses the ropes for extra leverage until he gets caught. Doink doesn’t seemed to be too phased by it and goes right to work on the leg. Doink misses a splash in the corner and gets sent to the outside with a running knee to the back. Savage follows him outside as we cut to commercial break. Back in Doink has a neckbreaker submission. Savage is able to reverse the hold until Doink rakes the eyes. Doink takes Savage down with a dropkick but gets smashed in the turnbuckle after applying a camel clutch. Savage kicks out of a belly to belly at two. Abdominal stretch wears Savage down. He’s able to hip toss his way out of it. Unfortunately, Doink goes right back to work and pounds away in the corner. Savage fights out of a rear chinlock but gets caught in a powerslam. Doink goes to the top and misses a Whoopie cushion but stops Savage with an eye rake before tossing him out of the ring. Savage crawls under the ring and comes out as the Mini Macho Man! Doink fucking loves this and laughs hysterically, so he starts to chase him. Savage comes out from under the ring and attacks Doink, slams him on the outside small packages him for the three at 9:20! *** Simple, yet entertaining match. The finish was great because Savage played to Doink’s weakness – his weird ass sense of humor.
Winner: Randy Savage

We take a look at last weekend’s Wrestling Challenge where 1-2-3 Kid defeated Ted Dibiase. Ted Dibiase is on the phone and pissed due to Razor Ramon’s interference…and the fact that Vince is showing the footage of his loss. As far as the match, Dibiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream until Ramon walks out and distracts Dibiase. They exchange words then Dibiase lazily pins the Kid, who turns it into a crucifix for the three! Dibiase is livid while the Kid runs away. Ramon laughs at Dibiase as officials separate the two.

Jim Cornette makes his WWF debut as Heenan has an aneurysm. They meet in the middle of the ring, share hugs and Vince talks about Smokey Mountain Wrestling. Heenan puts him over as the greatest manager in wrestling. Cornette has done everything there is to do in professional wrestling except appear in the World Wrestling Federation. He finally has his knockout blow – the Heavenly Bodies. They are the greatest combination in wrestling history and will challenge the Steiner Brothers at Summerslam. In the two or three minutes this promo lasted Cornette sweats about three pounds…which is precisely one of the main reasons I love him.

Mr. Perfect Vs Barry Hardy
Why this is the main event and not Savage/Doink, I don’t know. Cornette joins Vince and Heenan at ringside and I suddenly can’t wait to see Barry Hardy in action. Hardy runs his mouth and Perfect hits a stiff chop but gets caught in a hip toss. Hardy is pretty proud of himself but gets taken down with a shoulderblock and then sent out of the ring with a running dropkick. This gives him time to spit his gum out. Backdrop into the ring leads to more stiff chops. A neck snap and random leg work leads to the Perfectplex for three at 2:24. * Perfect would usually give the jobbers some offense and then get really pissed off and beat them up. It worked a lot better than other squashes due to the intensity, and this was no different.
Winner: Mr. Perfect

Next week we have Hughes Vs Tatanka, the debut of the Heavenly Bodies and the Yokozuna/Lex Luger contract signing!

The 411: Outside of Savage/Doink and Cornette’s debut, there’s not much worth going out of your way in this show. The stuff with Luger was pretty bad and each week I’m more and more surprised that he got as big of a push as he did. Too many squashes this week.
Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]