The Chrononaut Chronicles: NWA Clash of the Champions IV

The Chrononaut Chronicles
NWA Clash of the Champions IV: Season’s Beatings – December 7, 1988

– LIVE from the UTC Arena in Chattanooga, Tennessee! Once again, Jim Ross and Bob Caudle handle commentary duties.

– NWA United States Tag Team Championship Tournament – Final: “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert & Ron Simmons vs. The Fantastics (Tommy Rogers & Bobby Fulton)

The US Tag Team Title was last held by The Midnight Express, who had to vacate the championship when they won the World Tag Team Title shortly after the last Clash. Ron Simmons & Eddie Gilbert defeated Larry Zbyszko & Al Perez in the opening round and then were eliminated from the tournament by The Sheepherders in the semi-finals. However, when Butch & Luke jumped to the WWF, the decision was reversed and Gilbert & Simmons were reinstated to compete in the finals. To earn their spot here, The Fantastics toppled Steve Williams & Mike Rotunda and then received a bye due to a first-round double-countout between Nikita & Ivan Koloff and The Russian Assassins. Jason Hervey of “The Wonder Years” is the special guest ring announcer for this match because he’s a Fantastics groupie. Both teams are babyfaces here and they all shake hands before the bell, but tempers begin to boil over a few minutes into the match when Bobby Fulton small-packages Gilbert for a surprise near-fall and Hot Stuff gets right in his face. It’s a back-and-forth game of one-upmanship with plenty of mat wrestling and not much action, aside from Tommy Rogers missing a flying elbowdrop and Simmons rocking him with a Pounce-like shoulderblock.

Tempers flare again between Gilbert and Fulton before Simmons tags in and misses a shoulderblock in the corner, allowing the Fantastics to use their superior teamwork as they work over Simmons’ arm. Simmons manages to make the tag and Gilbert is on offense, but Simmons tags back in and the Fantastics resume control. Gilbert & Simmons take over for a bit and there’s an impressive spot where Fulton dives off the top turnbuckle with a flying bodypress and Simmons powerslams him in one fluid motion. Gilbert posts his arm when Rogers avoids a charge in the corner, and Hot Stuff sells it like the elbow is dislocated as the Fantastics assault the damaged limb. Eddie’s facial expressions are phenomenal while Ross puts the injury over by claiming that Eddie’s elbow is swollen and bruised. Hot Stuff finally catches Fulton with the Hotshot, but instead of tagging out, he goes for another charge in the corner and Fulton moves. Gilbert posts his arm again and Fulton rolls him up for the 1-2-3 at 27:04 to win the NWA United States Tag Team Championship for the second time. Ross notes that the Fantastics won their first US title in the same building while all four competitors commiserate afterward. ***½ The match had a unique dynamic since both teams were babyfaces, but that also hurt the flow of the match at times. The first half was very deliberate and slow-paced, but it developed into an excellent encounter. Gilbert is an underappreciated talent who did an amazing job of selling the arm, so much that the crowd started to boo the Fantastics during their heat segment.

– Seated away from the ring behind the crowd, Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger host segments where they discuss and analyze the happenings at the Clash. This is not the Total Package’s forte as he stammers and seems awkward and stiff.

– The Italian Stallion vs. “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (w/Kevin Sullivan)

Steve Williams is the newest member of the Varsity Club after feuding with them for several months, while Rick Steiner had recently left the Club and turned face in one of the greatest angles in NWA history. It was built up for months with Mike Rotunda and Kevin Sullivan insulting Steiner’s intelligence until he finally had enough and attacked Rotunda. Jim Ross interviews Sullivan and Rotunda before the match to hype Mike’s NWA Television Title defense against Steiner at Starrcade ’88, and they do a “Rick Steiner is so stupid…”/”How stupid is he?” routine and rip on the University of Michigan. Despite resembling a taller and fatter Ronnie James Dio, The Italian Stallion apparently has some amateur wrestling background to match Dr. Death’s amateur skills as Ross and Caudle put over the talented collegiate standouts currently competing in the NWA. Williams heels it up in this match, using the ropes for leverage and distracting the referee while Sullivan sneaks in some cheap shots. The Stallion actually puts up a competitive fight for most of the match while Williams bullies him with football-inspired offense and mat wrestling. As a form of torture to anyone foolish enough to watch the show, the match is dragged out until 15:17, when Doc catches Stallion in mid-air and plants him with the Oklahoma Stampede for the win. * Williams was just beginning his heel run and Stallion was a glorified TV jobber for both WCW and WWF, so it would have made more sense to keep this under ten minutes and have Doc squash him decisively.

– Jason Hervey joins Tony Schiavone and Lex Luger to put over the Fantastics, “The Wonder Years”, and Starrcade. In fact, young Jason has cleared off his busy holiday schedule so he can be in Virginia for the PPV.

Must… keep… smiling…

– In his role as an interviewer, Magnum TA buries Nikita Koloff by stating that Paul Jones’ Army has run him out of the NWA, and introduces The Junkyard Dog. The Dog, last seen jobbing in the WWF, has returned to the NWA to team with Ivan Koloff against The Russian Assassins at Starrcade. JYD plans to chew on Paul Jones’ bone. Is that how he paid for his coke?

– Ahh, footage of The Road Warriors turning heel and stabbing Dusty Rhodes in the eye with a spike, minus footage of Rhodes bleeding as a result. TBS issued a memo discouraging the use of blood after they purchased the company, so Dusty booked this angle and bladed on TV just to spite them. He was fired after Starrcade and ended up wearing polka dots in the WWF.

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!

– Handicap Match: “Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff vs. Paul Jones

Ivan Koloff is wrestling with his left hand tied behind his back because that was the only way his former manager, Paul Jones, would agree to step in the ring with him. A former wrestler himself, Jones spends much of the match trying to avoid Koloff before agreeing to a one-handed test of strength. Koloff headbutts him and pounds away, but when he attempts a kick, Jones catches the foot and knocks down the Russian Bear. Paul chokes Ivan with the rope tying his hand behind his back and batters him on the floor, targeting Ivan’s free arm. The former WWF World Champion mounts a comeback, but Jones produces a foreign object and jabs Koloff in the throat. Ivan fights back so Paul tries to use the object again, but Koloff grabs it and hits Jones with it for the pin at 8:21. The Russian Assassins run in and double-team Koloff afterward until Junkyard Dog makes the save with his chain. That match took MUCH longer than it should have, and Paul Jones is possibly my least favorite manager of all time. He looks like the kind of guy who drives a creepy van and knows too much about Justin Bieber.

Maybe it’s the mustache. Or the pasty, vaguely hairy torso.

– More analysis from Schiavone and Luger, who does a good job of putting over the shock of the Road Warriors’ heel turn by mentioning how confused he and Sting and Dusty Rhodes were. Sting comes out for an interview with Jim Ross, but first he runs the ropes like a coke fiend and launches himself in the air with a phantom elbowdrop to denote his excitement. The Stinger totally crosses the line in his brief promo as he brags that he puts on his facepaint better than Hawk & Animal. Now that’s just GOING TOO FAR.

THIS…IS…STING!!!

– Magnum TA interviews Rick Steiner and “Alex” — Alex is Rick’s hand with eyes and a mouth drawn on it, and he tells Rick what to do. Credit to Steiner for pulling off this gimmick the way he does. We abruptly cut away from the interview just as Steiner gets serious and yells about murdering Mike Rotunda at Starrcade.

– NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship: Road Warrior Animal (w/Paul Ellering) vs. “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes

Yes, it’s a singles match for control of the Six-Man title, since the Road Warriors and Dusty Rhodes held the championship together when Hawk & Animal turned on the American Dream. An additional stipulation: the belts can change hands via disqualification. After taking an eternity to make his entrance, Big Dust is sporting an eyepatch and unloads on Paul Ellering and Animal right off the bat. On a roll, Dusty smashes Animal’s leg around the ringpost and elbows the referee out of the ring as he applies a figure-four on the Road Warrior. Ellering comes in to break it up and Animal goes after Dusty’s bandaged eye, but Rhodes lowblows him and tears away at his eye in retaliation. Hawk rushes out to rescue his partner and the Legion of Doom prepare the Doomsday Device, but Sting makes the save before Animal can attempt to lift Rhodes. Dusty goes after Animal’s leg with a plastic-and-steel chair as the referee finally awakens and calls for the bell, awarding the match to Animal via disqualification at an official time of 2:45. The Road Warriors later named Genichiro Tenryu of All Japan Pro Wrestling as their NWA World Six-Man Tag Team Championship partner. ** You could tell this was Dusty’s swan song because it was very short and booked oddly. Why would he hit the referee before applying the figure-four? Nonetheless, the crowd was hot and this ‘match’ succeeded at furthering the angle, as the LOD had previously wounded Dusty’s eye and attempted to break Sting’s neck to build up to a World Tag Team Title clash at Starrcade.

– Schiavone and Luger plug Starrcade some more. Lex has to remove his jacket because the excitement is too much for him.

– Main Event: The Midnight Express (“Beautiful” Bobby Eaton & “Sweet” Stan Lane w/Jim Cornette) vs. Barry Windham & “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (w/James J. Dillon)

Barry Windham is the NWA United States Champion and Ric Flair is the NWA World Heavyweight Champion, while the Midnight Express had recently turned face after losing the NWA World Tag Team Championship to the Road Warriors. As usual, Jim Ross magnifies the “big fight” feel by mentioning that he has always wondered how the top two singles wrestlers in the world would fare against the top tag team in the world, and now we’re going to find out. Hey, I’m sold. Bobby Eaton gets the crowd on the Midnights’ side right away as he slaps Flair and mocks the Nature Boy’s famous strut. The first half of the match is all about establishing that the Midnights are on the same level as the Horsemen, as Eaton & Stan Lane constantly outdo Flair & Windham much to the fans’ delight. This culminates in the double figure-four spot, with Sweet Stan leglocking Slick Ric while Beautiful Bobby comes in and wraps up Big Barry. Outside the ring, Jim Cornette is in the unusual position of being cheered as he threatens JJ Dillon with the tennis racket, while Ross talks about how much Cornette has grown up lately. Paul E. Dangerously pops up in an inset promo and alleges that a company-wide conspiracy from Ted Turner on down is keeping his Original Midnight Express (“Loverboy” Dennis Condrey & “Ravishing” Randy Rose, who had originally joined forces under the Midnight banner in 1981) from appearing on the Clash, but promises to show Cornette’s Express how dark “The Dark Side” can get at Starrcade.

Stupid Production Decision #1,739: Make sure you can’t see what’s happening in the ring during the main event.

Meanwhile, Flair has taken control of Lane, but he makes the mistake he all too often makes and ends up getting slammed off the top turnbuckle. Lane & Eaton dominate Flair and plant him with a flapjack, but when Bobby goes for the pin, Dillon reaches in and puts Ric’s foot over the rope at the last moment. There’s an awkward spot as Eaton cradles Flair and the referee clearly could have counted to three, but he waits for Windham to make the save and the crowd does not appreciate it. That botched near-fall was more Barry’s fault for being late, but from a kayfabe point of view, Tommy Young really put the “Senior” in NWA Senior Official. His officiating style makes a lot more sense if you imagine that he is a confused dementia patient with occasional moments of lucidity. Windham tags in and unloads on Eaton before tagging back out to Flair, who slaps Bobby around as a callback to the beginning of the match. Flair dumps Eaton to the floor and distracts the ref while Windham drops Bobby throat-first on the ringside fence. The Two Horsemen assert themselves as Windham decks Eaton with a big flying lariat off the ropes, but he surprisingly kicks out at one.

Flair tags in and trades shots with Eaton, who snaps off a good-looking right jab to the Nature Boy’s prominent proboscis that leads to the famous face-first Flair Flop. Both men crawl to their respective corners to tag out and Sweet Stan cleans house on Windham & Flair. After recuperating enough to help his partner execute the Hi-Lo (Total Elimination, basically) on Windham, Beautiful Bobby follows it up with the as-yet-unnamed Alabama Jam legdrop off the top and covers him, but the stupid referee is busy pulling Lane away from Dillon. Cornette drags Dillon off the apron and they tangle at ringside, while Flair clubs Eaton with JJ’s shoe and rolls Windham on top for the winning pinfall at 17:41. ****¼ The crowd was super hot for this match-up and they were loving the Midnights and Cornette as faces since they didn’t really change their style. They still used their superior tag team skills to control the match, and Flair made them look like a million bucks. Great stuff here with the story of the match being that tag team wrestling is a unique art and even the top two singles wrestlers can’t just join forces on a whim and beat the top tag team. In other words, the exact opposite of the way the WWF/E has booked tag teams since the Attitude era.

They look like tiny ants wearing tiny wrestling trunks and boots.

– After a commercial break, Tony Schiavone interviews Jim Cornette, who puts over all four competitors in the main event but points out that Ric Flair had to cheat to win. That’s like saying we need oxygen to breathe; at this point in his career, it was pretty much a given that the Nature Boy had to cheat to win a match because that’s how he had been booked. Sweating buckets, Cornette calls for a rematch in the future and promises payback to everyone who has jumped on the Midnight Express. Without pandering too much, the Louisville Slugger closes by dedicating the Midnights’ future beatings to their loyal and dedicated fanbase.

– Jim Ross and Bob Caudle recap the major developments in the undercard tonight and plug the TBS weekend wrestling shows before we go back to Schiavone and Luger for analysis of the main event. The Total Package hypes his match with Ric Flair at Starrcade and Tony signs off. That was five minutes of wrap-up, but it reinforced the key angles leading up to the NWA’s biggest event of the year.

Try to sleep tonight after seeing this. I dare you.

The 411: Compared to the three previous Clash of the Champions TV specials, Season's Beatings was the weakest offering yet on a broadcast riddled with production errors and questionable choices. Why was Lex Luger put into a host role, tasked with getting other people's angles over, instead of building up his World Title rematch at Starrcade '88 by showing workout videos and having him cut a promo? Why did we need so much talking? Why not interview the wrestlers about their matches, instead of the talking heads going on and on? Why was the Junkyard Dog hired? Why did matches like Williams/Stallion and Koloff/Jones get so much more time than they needed, but the main event got less than 20 minutes? The two tag team bouts were excellent and worth tracking down, but the rest was utterly forgettable. This was a transition period for the NWA, since TBS had purchased Jim Crockett Promotions and Dusty Rhodes was being replaced as head booker, but at least the wrestlers knew they would be paid and Turner was backing the company. As 1989 dawned, it was a bold new era for the Universal Wrestling Corporation.

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]