wrestling / Columns

The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report 03.04.09

March 4, 2009 | Posted by Steve Sullivan

So this week, I have some good news and some bad news to open up with.

The good news is that after 7 years in the radio business, I finally learned how to pull strings. And now, starting this Saturday at 8am EST, I will be the host of my very own wrestling radio show! If you’d like to hear it, make sure you log on to www.talk1490.com and listen to the live stream on Saturday at 8am EST. I’m totally pumped about it and really hope to verbalize my feelings about the sport. Several of 411mania’s writers will be making apperances as well so make sure you keep checking in to find out who’s going to be on and when.

The bad news is that this is going to be a super short edition. Preparing for the radio show, re-launching a radio station and some issues with my property are monopolizing my time. So without any ado, cue banner and let’s rassle!

News: Hulk Hogan has been rumored to be in the gym preparing for a “big match”.

Happy: If this holds true, then I’m pretty sure we all know what that big match is. But the match he may be involved in may not be as obvious as it sounds.

If in fact Hogan is going to wrestle at Wrestlemania, it will be a very short match. The guy will take a beating, Hulk up, drop a boot, and hit the legdrop. I also expect that all the “Legends” that Jericho has beat up and insulted the last few weeks will also show up and take their shots as well before Hogan gets the pin.

Another way of having the match would be to have Mickey Rourke (who is supposedly going to be in the corner of Jericho’s challenger) knock Chris Jericho out with a boxing punch (Rourke used to box).

Yet another opportunity we may all get is John Cena vs. Hulk Hogan. The icon of the 80’s vs. the icon of the 21st century.

Anyway you look at it, Hogan at Wrestlemania just seems right. He was at the first one. He was the face of the company when Wrestlemania was growing into the megashow that it is today. He needs to be there to represent not only what Wrestlemania stands for, but what wrestling today was built on.

On top of that, he’s on the cover of the new Legends of Wrestlemania game. And since Andre The Giant is dead and Jimmy Hart vs. Chris Jericho just isn’t appealing at all, then Hogan is the best choice to put in this match.

Go Sucky: Hogan is insane. The man has had more negative media than Miley Cyrus and Christian Bale combined! The last time we saw Hogan wrestle in the WWE was, I believe against Shawn Michaels at Summerslam a few years ago. He looked awful then.

Wrestlemania 25 is a milestone. A milestone almost as prestigious as being the longest running show on cable TV history. For all the time that the WWE has put into Jericho and this match, only to have maybe a three or four minute match with a broken down “geezer” going over, it’s going to feel like 25 slaps on the ass with one to grow on.

News: SoCalVal is pleading with the TNA Knockouts Division to begin posing in Playboy now that the WWE divas are no longer allowed to be in it.

Happy: Not to sound like a typical man here but MAN there are a bunch of TNA Knockouts I’d LOVE to see naked. SoCalVal being first on my list. Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Taylor Wilde, Lauren the Interview chick, there are tons of possibilities!

Not only that, but TNA has a chance to finally make themselves different from the WWE.

While there’s nothing wrong with the WWE aiming it’s programming toward children these days, it’s not hitting the target demographic that the WWE usually tends to. TNA has definatly differed from the WWE in that aspect. Look no further than the constant cursing and bleeping and the entrance of The Beautiful People.

With Playboy, TNA can get the kind of publicity it needs to attract new sponsors and new viewers. The millions of people who may buy the magazine who may have never heard of TNA may be brought in to check it out. And who better to represent TNA than the TNA Knockout’s Division, who has been consistently positive.

Go Sucky: The worst that could come from this….Awesome Kong and ODB on the front cover (a la Torrie & Sable).

News: Mr T. has turned down an invitation to the WWE Hall of Fame.

I’m not going to debate whether this is a good thing or bad thing but I’m going to totally agree with Mr. T here. The reason being that Mr. T turned down the Hall of Fame is because the WWE put Pete Rose into their celebrity wing before they put Mr. T in. And now that I think about, what the hell were they thinking????

Mr. T was involved in blockbuster matches that really helped put the WWE on the map. He was in the first ever main event at Wrestlemania and was even involved the next year as well. Mr. T should have been the first celebrity inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame hands down.

In my opinion, the reason Pete Rose was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame is because Vince and Pete are good buddies. Around the time Pete was inducted, he was finally admitting to gambling on baseball and doing his best to be re-instated in baseball to get into Baseball’s Hall of Fame. So in order to help him build momentum, Vince put him into his Hall of Fame to get Pete good publicity.

In the end, it didn’t do Pete any good, and now it’s coming back to bite the WWE in the ass too. Mr. T not in the WWE Hall of Fame leaves a big void. Everyone in that first main event is in that Hall of Fame EXCEPT Mr. T. And Mr. T was the big factor in getting that match to happen.

News: “Booker T has announced his own Legends Convention the weekend of WrestleMania (for the Booker T’s Fight for Kids Foundation), but WWE has now contacted several of the names confirmed for the event and asked them to appear for WWE during the weekend instead.

Torrie Wilson, Nick Bockwinkel, Tito Santana and Ron Simmons have now pulled out of the event and will be appearing for WWE at the AXXESS and or Hall of Fame Ceremony. WWE is purchasing plane tickets as well as paying booking fees. Sid Vicious is also out of the event, but it is not known is he will be appearing for WWE.

Happy: The idea that the WWE is bringing in all these legends to meet the fans is really cool. Obviously, more people will be able to appreciate the greatness of Tito and Ron at a Wrestlemania event than Booker T’s. It’s good representation for the sport and for all the fans who are spending the money to come to the event.

Go Sucky: At the same time, I cannot believe that the WWE would stoop so low as to steal away guests from a CHILDREN’S CHARITY EVENT to do their own. I understand that these guys need a paycheck and stuff but wow, coming in and taking away from a CHILDREN’s CHARITY EVENT just really gets under my skin. Especially when you think about the resources that th WWE has.

With all the living alumni the WWE has, you’re telling me that they couldn’t get others who weren’t committed to other events?

Rapid Fire

News: Raw’s rating this past Monday was a 3.8, down from the past two weeks 4.1 ratings.

Edge APPEARS on Raw, ratings go up. Edge WRESTLES on Raw, ratings do down. Whatsupwitdat?

News: Stacy Keibler is rumored to be pregnant.

And nerds are rumored to be lining up behind the lemmings.

News: Rory McCallister from the Highlanders said in an interview that “Vince doesn’t really like tag team wrestling.”

Stick this one in the “Things that make you say DUH” category.

And that’s going to do it for this abbreviated version. Sorry for the shortness but being as busy as I am is definatly a Go Sucky feeling. So until next week my friends, may your lives be Happy…or Go Sucky!

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Steve Sullivan

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