wrestling / TV Reports

The No Way Out 2005 Breakdown

February 20, 2005 | Posted by J.D. Dunn

Silly detail, JBL’s limo showed up on Heat sans horns, and they explained that it was because Batista destroyed them. But the limo had no dents and new windows and windshield. Maybe the horns have to be just right.

  • WWE No Way Out — 2/20/05
  • From Pittsburgh, Penn.
  • Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz who announce that Batista WILL be here tonight.
  • WWE Tag Team Titles: The Bashams vs. Rey Mysterio & Eddy Guerrero.

    Eddy starts out with Danny. They exchange a few holds. Eddy comes out of that with a standing anklelock. Rey springboards in but gets caught in the wrong corner. Rey comes back with a springboard into an armdrag. Eddy gets the tag and ranas Doug to the outside. Danny locks in a Gokuraku-gatame, which used to be a cool move before every ham & egger started using it. Doug powerslams Eddy for two before Rey makes the save. Doug misses a diving headbutt, enabling Eddy to get the tag to Rey. Rey springboards into a crossbody for two. The wheelbarrow bulldog (called a DDT by Cole) gets two. The Bashams pull the old switcheroo and take over on Rey. Tazz calls Cole on his bias towards Eddy’s cheating. Danny locks in a Full Nelson on Rey. He switches to a reverse bearhug. Mysterio takes the back-bump off a whip to the corner. The Bashams double press Rey onto the top rope. Rey heads toward Eddy, but Danny scissors the leg and tags Doug. Doug sets Rey on top, but it backfires as Rey comes off with a moonsault. That gets two. Doug stays on top with a chinlock. As Eddy stretches into the tag, the referee realizes that something’s wrong. When he checks the tag ropes, it turns out that there are actually two tied together, allowing Eddy to stretch that much further. Eddy proclaims innocence. Funny stuff. The Bashams hit a wheelbarrow facebuster on Rey, but it only gets two. Rey darts around the ring, avoiding the Bashams at every turn. He ducks between them and gets the HOT TAG to Eddy. Eddy is a house of fire, but the Bashams catch up with him. They try a doubleteam suplex, but Rey runs in and tackles on of the Bashams. Eddy rolls up the other on in a replay of the old Rock ‘n’ Rolls/Midnights matches. Eddy gets frustrated and grabs one of the titles. Rey talks him out of using it, though, as the Bashams switch again. Eddy opts instead for a frogsplash attempt. It misses, but Eddy rolls through and plays possum. When the Basham tries to capitalize, Eddy small packages him. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! The other Basham tosses in the tag title to Eddy, trying to get him disqualified. Eddy throws it to Doug as the referee turns around. As the ref is confiscating the title, Rey slides in the other title to Eddy. Eddy BLASTS Doug with it as Rey hits Danny with the 619. The ref turns and counts ONE, TWO, THREE (14:51)! Nothing fancy, just solid wrestling plus Eddy’s usual antics. It made for a good opener. ***1/2

  • Carlito Cool kills Theodore Long’s buzz by introducing him to the wife of one of the members of the Board of Directors. The Board has decided to see where the Batista thing goes.
  • Torrie Wilson and her stepmother Dawn Marie come out to host the Diva Evening Gown Contest. Joy, Rochelle, Lauren & Michelle come down and pose in their evening gowns.
  • “Pulp Fiction” WrestleMania spot.
  • Heidenreich vs. Booker T.

    Heidenreich reads a poem about how he has good inside and how Booker made fun of him and…whatever. Heidenreich lays into Book with punches. Booker comes back with a hook kick and fires away with chops. He runs into a reverse elbow to turn the tide again. They take it to the outside. Back in, Booker ducks a swing and hits a thrust kick. Cole brings up his dry hump at the uh…hands of Heidenreich. Heidenreich comes back with a front powerslam and a clothesline that spins Booker around. Booker elbows out of an overhand wristlock but runs into a boot. Booker fights out of a another armlock and spinebusters him down. A botched flying forearm and thrust kick knock Heidenreich to the mat. SPINAROONIE! The Scissor Kick misses as does the Book End. Heidenreich charges, but Booker tosses him over the top. They take it to the floor where Heidenreich hits him in the throat with a chair for the DQ at 6:49. Heidenreich throws him back in the ring and covers because he’s just that stupid. Booker T appears to be injured. *

  • The babyfaces congratulate Rey and Eddy on their title wins. Eddy gives John Cena a pep talk. Eddy says he believes in Cena. Ahh.
  • Cruiserweight Title, 6-Man: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley vs. Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Akio.

    The rules here are that the contestants drew numbers to determine the order of entry. #1 takes on #2 and the winner takes on #3 and so on. Spike goes for cheap heat by wearing a Patriots jersey. London has a bizarre cross between the Ultimate Warrior, the Barbarian and Marty Jannety look. Funaki and Paul London start. Funaki leg sweeps him, but London comes back with an armdrag. London gets that back mule kick off the top thing he does. Spike interferes from the outside, enabling London to schoolboy Funaki for the elimination at 1:38. Funaki gets pissed and superkicks Spike. London jumps on top and eliminates Spike at 1:58. Shannon Moore is next. He goes after about a half dozen nearfalls on London right away. London comes back with a rollup for two. Shannon whips him into the turnbuckle a few times but misses the quasi-Whisper in the Wind thing he does. London finishes with the 450-splash at 3:38. Akio jumps London right away and peppers him with kicks. He gets the hanging leg choke. Cool. Akio gets his wicked awesome enzuigiri. He lays into London with a series of chops and sets him on top. London blocks a superplex and delivers a flying neckbreaker off the top rope. Akio does not make it to his feet, so he gets eliminated by countdown at 7:08. Haven’t seen that rule enforced in a long time (and I’m talking since the 1980s). Chavo jumps on London right away. He slams London around until London comes back with a small package. Chavo gets pissed and whips him like a dog. Chavo goes for a neckbreaker, but London holds the ropes and gets two. DRAGON SUPLEX~ by London! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! London channels the Ultimate Warrior and makes the screaming comeback. The Dropsault gets two. Chavo tries to put London on top, but London slips over him and gets two on a reverse rollup. Chavo then reverses that and grabs the ropes for the win at 9:45. Chavo is your new CW champ. They just had no time to get anything real going here, and the crowd was out of it as a result. Nice effort from London, though. Cole goes back in to full douchebag mode by crying about Chavo’s cheating even though he excused Eddy’s cheating by saying “it’s a family tradition.” **

  • Recap of Batista doing the James Caan job on Bradshaw’s limo.
  • Backstage, Big Show sits pensively, perhaps thinking if they Mellon arena has actual melons somewhere.
  • The WrestleMania recall is the Gimmick Battle Royal from X-7.
  • More Diva stuff. This time a talent show. We’re supposed to be voting on the winner, but I think we already did that and these four lost. Joy’s special talent is massage. Rochelle tells some bad jokes. Lauren does a little dance. Michelle, who is wearing a Steelers sports bra. Dawn’s gimmick is to rank on all the girls, so Michelle bodyslams her as her special talent. Thrilling.
  • John Bradshaw Layfield tells Interview Lad that he’s not worried because he knows what he’s in for. His body is temporary, but the title is eternal. Typically great JBL interview.
  • Luther Reigns (w/Mark Jindrak) vs. the Undertaker.

    Jindrak gets tossed before the match even begins. Taker slugs away to start. Luther punches his way back. Taker goes after the arm and hits the Old School forearm drop. The Flatliner gets two. Reigns unties the turnbuckle, but Taker blocks and gives him a few soupbones. Reigns lariats him down but winds up going into the exposed turnbuckle himself. Taker drapes him over the apron and drops a leg on his throat. Luther kicks him in the balls behind the ref’s back. Luther tosses him around the ring and gets two off a suplex. Reigns becomes my hero by applying a single leg crab with his boot in Undertaker’s face. Taker powers out, though. Luther charges into a boot but spears the Undertaker to the mat. It gets two. Lulther goes for an Overdrive, but Taker kicks his way out of it and hits him with a flying clothesline. Taker gets a very lame snake eyes and delivers the big boot. That gets two. Chokeslam! Reigns comes back with a reverse DDT just to make things almost interesting. Reigns goes for another Overdrive, but Taker reverses to a DDT and finishes with the Tombstone Piledriver at 11:44. Indeed, Reigns will take over “the yard,” but he’ll be mowing it as Taker’s gardener. 3/4*

  • “Basic Instinct” Wrestlemania spot. Christian is so the Cary Elwes of the WWE.
  • Round three of the Diva Contest. Dawn Marie refuses to come out. Joy shows off her thong. Rochelle has just enough to cover both holes and that’s about it. Lauren’s makes her butt look big. Michelle just looks like your average beach chick, but she does a nice back handspring. Plus she has the coolest name. No pun intended. By an overwhelming margin, though, Joy Giovanni picks up the win. If Vince wants to get involved in beauty pageants, he should just do that and keep it separate from the WWE. The only way this is worthwhile is if they use it to springboard Joy as a character, but of course they won’t because they have experienced Divas in Torrie, Dawn, and Jackie and what do they use them for? Hosting other Diva contests.
  • #1 Contender’s Tournament Finals: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena.

    Kurt takes him down into a headlock. Cena tries to hiptoss him, but Angle counters to a belly-to-belly suplex and goes back to the headlock. Angle drop toeholds him into a front facelock. Cena ducks a charge and clotheslines Angle over the top. Cena tackles him over the announce table. They’ve done a nice job of setting up the Flair vs. Sting-ish storyline with Cena as pure raw potential and Angle as a treacherous veteran. Back in, Cena delivers a suplex. Angle charges into a boot but slips out of the FU attempt and takes a breather on the outside. Cena pounds him down in the corner. Angle comes back with a German Suplex into the turnbuckle. Ooh. Angle kicks him in the ribs and locks in a bodyscissors. He ups the ante with a crossface just to be a dick. ROLLING GERMANS! One, two, thr-foot on the ropes. Cena’s getting dominated in there. Angle stays on top with a surfboard chinlock. Cena knocks Kurt down with a flying shoulderblock. Cena fires away and nails Kurt with a lariat. Angle rakes the eyes but runs into a spinebuster. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Cena elbows out of the Rolling Germans. The sit out side powerbomb (Protobomb) gets two. Angle reverses the FU to a sunset flip for two. Cena stumbles into a belly-to-belly as he gets up. Cena slips out of the Angleslam and DDTs Angle. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! Angle counters the FU with a Victory Roll into an Anklelock. Cena rolls him out of the ring. As Angle is getting back in the ring, Cena goes up and drops a leg across the back of his neck. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! Cena catches Angle in a charge and delivers the FU! ONE, TWO, THRE–KICKOUT! Angle brings Cena down with a kick to the kneecap. Kurt just dives into the leg like owns it. He wraps it around the ringpost. Cena makes it to the rope to break a legvine. ANGLESLAM! Cole says it’s over, so you know it’s not. Anklelock by Angle. Cena makes the ropes, but Angle brings him back to the center of the ring. Cena starts to reach for the ropes, so Kurt falls to his back and scissors the leg. Charles Robinson tries to make Angle break the hold, so Angle elbows him in the face. Crowd chants, “HBK!” Angle goes for Cena’s chain, but Cena tackles him and delivers the FU for the pin at 19:21. I give them credit for not going with the obvious interference, but the ref bump was clichйd and unnecessary. The match itself had moments where you thought it could be a classic, but it never quite got over the hump. ***3/4

  • Recap of the Big Show/JBL feud.
  • WWE Championship, Barbed-Wire Cage: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. the Big Show.

    In a puzzling move, they say that you can win by escape, but the top of the cage has barbed-wire across it and the door is locked with a chain. JBL takes it right to him, but Big Show overpowers him. JBL blocks himself from going into the cage. Show chops him in the chest and tries again. JBL seems desperate to block his face from going into the cage. JBL clips Show’s knee to come back. He goes up, but doesn’t have the nerve to go over. Instead, he tries a crossbody. Show catches him and steals the Fallaway Slam for two. Bradshaw’s wrist has been cut open. Show slaps him around a bit. JBL tries a shoulderblock but just bounces off of him. Show suplexes him. JBL rams Show’s head into the cage, cutting him open — and nearly sending through the cage! JBL goes up again and comes off with a flying shoulderblock. JBL drops an elbow for two. He unwraps the tag rope and chokes Big Show with it. Big Show reverses a whip and delivers a big thrust kick. Show powerbombs him, hitting JBL’s face on the cage as he does. JBL begs off as Show measures him. Show slingshots JBL into the cage (called a “monkey flip” by Cole, who is apparently on crack tonight). Cue the overbooking because here come the Bashams and Orlando Jordan. Jordan climbs the cage but, of course, can’t get in because of the barbed-wire. One of the Bashams uses bolt cutters to cut a few links out of the cage. Theodore Long comes out and sends them to the back, but not before OJ slides the bolt cutters in to JBL. JBL blasts Show in the face with them and delivers the Clothesline From Hell. It only gets two. Show comes back with the chokeslam. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! JBL grabs the bolt cutters, but this time he goes up and tries to cut the barbed-wire down so he can escape. Show catches up with him, and they battle on the top rope. SUPER CHOKESLAM! Bradshaw falls through the ring, much like Triple H at No Way Out 2000. Show takes forever getting down and doesn’t really know what to do. He finally tries to break the chain. He succeeds! Show pushes the door open and walks to the ringsteps. He steps down and the bell rings at 15:11. Show wins? Ha ha! No, you silly fool. The ring had collapsed, so JBL simply crawled under the ring to the outside. That has a certain idiotic cleverness, I suppose. The Cabinet assaults Big Show until Batista makes the save. JBL tries to crawl to safety, but John Cena comes back out and attacks him, throwing him through the staging area. Cena and Batista jaw at each other to sell the possibility of a Triple Threat. The match was okay until the end, the beatdown that followed was pretty cool, though. **

    Final Thoughts: Same crap as per usual on the undercard. You’ll either love or hate the ending to the main event, depending on how you view JBL’s push. Taker wins, yadda, yadda, yadda. Cena didn’t give his best performance tonight, but he was very over at the end. Nothing really to go out of your way for. The Cena/Angle match probably had the most drama, but it’s not enough to recommend the replay.

    Mild thumbs down here.

    J.D. Dunn

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