The RAWtopsy 01.16.06

“This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.” And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” —Martin Luther King

It’s hard to imagine, but there was a time just slightly outside of most of our lifetimes when a black wrestler wasn’t allowed to touch a white wrestler in several venues.

Yes, it’s me – JD. The Jack Abramoff of the 411Forums, the Tony Almeida of wrestling TV recaps, and the Triple H of the video review section. If you don’t get all that…well, you weren’t really meant to.

Scott Keith was nice enough to plug my review of 24 Season 4 on DVD, so I was going to return the favor, but “Wrestling’s Made Men” is not yet on sale, so go check out Wrestling’s One Ring Circus

WWE Raw — 1/16/06

Live from NC State University.

Your hosts are Joey Styles, Jonathon Coachman and Jerry Lawler.

Edge and Lita are out to complain about Lita’s titty being censored and people not thinking he’s for real. He says he’s “the most watched WWE Champion of all time.” Well, he uses that “Smackdown is the highest rated…on Friday nights” sort of logic. He wants to finish what he started last week. CUE THE PORNO MUSIC! Kurt Angle and Daivari (w/new pyro!) interrupt and says that Edge is a paper champ. Kurt explains that his contract expired and he decided to sign with Smackdown. Edge thinks that Kurt was humiliated because he couldn’t beat Cena while Edge could. Angle wants to UNIFY THE TITLES! Edge refuses, and they come to blows (not the Lita kind) until Vince McMahon struts down and declares that they WILL honor their commitments. Edge will defend against Flair in a TLC match while Angle will face HBK in a non-title match, but if HBK loses — HE’S FIRED!

Kurt Angle (w/Daivari) vs. Shawn Michaels.

We JIP to Shawn chasing Daivari around the ring. Back in, Shawn CHOPS Kurt and takes him over into a side headlock. Kurt fires back but runs into a boot. Shawn comes off the second-rope — right into a belly-to-belly. ROLLING GERMANS! They get two, and Kurt locks in a leg scissors. Shawn starts taking hard backbumps off corner whips, but he’s able to counter the Angleslam to a Tornado DDT. Daivari trips up Shawn, so Shawn superkicks him on the outside. That provides enough distraction for Angle to sneak up and give him the ANGLESLAM! We come back to Shawn using the POWER OF CHRIST to compel Angle to the corner. Shawn hits hard in the corner with the Shawn flip, but he blocks a super belly-to-belly suplex. Angle sprints up the ropes, but Shawn pushes him off again. A third try yields a SUPER ANGLESLAM! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Shawn misses a surprise shot at SCM, and Kurt grabs the Anklelock. Shawn rolls through to a cover for two. Flying forearm! Kip up…into an Anklelock, but Shawn rolls through again and continues the sequence. FLYING ELBOW DR-NO! Angle rolls out of the way. DOWN COME THE STRAPS! Shawn sunset flips out of an Angleslam, but Angle counters to the Anklelock! Shawn knocks Daivari off the apron as he’s struggling, but Angle scissors the leg. Shawn’s toast…except, Daivari brings a chair into the ring, distracting the ref. Angle releases the hold and gets in Daivari’s face. Daivari accidentally clocks Angle with the chair. Angle is so stunned he stumbles back into a schoolboy rollup from Shawn at 18:00. They kind of decided to throw out all their usual spots out there without really setting them up like they did in their first two matches. The result was closer to their Ironman match on Raw. After the match, Angle wants to know what the hell Daivari was thinking, and Daivari is all “we had some protection problems” and slaps Angle. Kurt Angleslams him over the top rope to the floor. Sick. Something tells me Daivari will get his revenge…or already has. ***1/2

On Unlimited, Angle fires Daivari as his manager.

Maria reminds Chris Masters that Carlito doublecrossed him at NYR. Tonight, Masters promises to show Cena the Masterlock.

Elsewhere, Ashley expresses concerns about Mickie James to , but Mickie comes in and they make nice.

Masterlock Challenge:

John Cena is tonight’s challenger. Grandstanding to start. Cena struggles and has the hold broken, but Edge runs down and hits him in the head with the WWE Title. Well, that was kind of obvious, I think. Not really complaining because it made sense.

Vince kicks Shawn out of the building after one of those “I hate you”/”I admire you” moments that usually happen in Bond films. He moves on to taunting Ric Flair, but Candice Michelle walks in and asks Vince to critique her match.

Trish Stratus, Mickie James & Ashley vs. Victoria, Candice & Torrie Wilson.

We get a brief glimpse of Candice’s new “Go Daddy.com” commercial. Guess what? It’s kinda sexual. Trish starts with Victoria and dominates. Ashley tags in and accidentally knocks Mickie off the apron, so Mickie crawls in and spears her. Trish pulls Mickie off Ashley for the second straight week. Their argument allows Victoria to hit Ashley with the Widow’s Peak and take the win. After the match, Mickie scowls at Trish with a sort of, “Oh, I see. You’re picking her” sort of look. You know the one. 1/4*

Rob Van Dam promo

Carlito’s Cabana:

Carlito reminds everyone that he’s the one who took RVD out in the first place. Carlito declares that no one can throw him over the top rope. Oh, that’s not good. Kane answers the challenge and tosses Carlito to the floor.

In the back, Vince strips in anticipation of Candice coming for her appointment. Of course, he doesn’t actually turn to make sure it’s her, so he winds up stripping for Mama Benjamin. Mama actually likes what she sees but wants a match for Shelton tonight. Vince promises her Shelton will receive some suitable competition tonight just to get her out of there. Mama promises him Chocolate Thunda when he’s ready. Happy MLK day!

Shelton Benjamin (w/Mama) vs. The Big Show.

Mama sizes up Big Show and tells Shelton to do the best he can. Pretty funny. Shelton attacks but takes a sideslam. Show is hurting from the Triple H match, though. Shelton goes after Show’s broken hand. Show catches Shelton coming off the top, but Shelton hits the hand to counter the chokeslam. Show goes outside where an unkempt bum jumps out of the crowd and…oh, that’s Triple H! HHH attacks Show, and they brawl up the ramp until Show gets counted out. (2:05) AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME, NOOOOOO! 1/4*

Stacy Kiebler did quite well on “Dancing With the Stars.” Nice to see someone from the E excelling in something other than awful movies and mug shots.

WWE Title; Tables, Ladders & Chairs: Edge (w/Lita) vs. Ric Flair.

Flair stops for a moment to hug his beautiful daughter, Ashley. CHOPS~! By Flair to start. Edge knees him to take over. He sandwiches Flair in the ladder and SMASHES it with a chair. To the outside, Flair chops him Edge into the crowd. For God’s sakes, don’t let Edge near your daughter, Ric! Don’t let him near Ashley! Back to ringside, Edge sets Ric up on a table and goes for a Conchairto, but Flair counters with the TESTICULAR CLAW! Lita jumps on Flair’s back, providing enough of a distraction for Edge to jump Flair from behind. They set Flair down on the table, and Edge SPLASHES HIM FROM A LADDER IN THE RING! Oh yeah, that’s going in the opening montage. We come back to a bloody Flair giving Edge a lowblow. There’s blood ALL over the table, and Flair’s hair has turned bright crimson. A WICKED chairshot puts Edge down, and Flair smashes his knee with the chair. Flair climbs the ladder for…something, but Edge catches him and SUPERPLEXES him off the top. A SICKENING chairshot hits Flair’s arm, and he tumbles to the floor. Edge climbs the ladder, but Flair staggers back in the ring and tips the ladder over so that Edge falls all the way over the top rope through a table! Flair climbs the ladder, but Lita yanks him off and wails on him. Flair shoves her aside and locks in the figure-four. That takes her out of the equation. Flair goes up again, but he’s so tired he can’t climb all the way up. Edge recovers, and they brawl on the ladder. Edge knocks him away and grabs the belt for the anticlimactic win at 16:38. After the match, Edge spears Flair and preps for the Conchairto again. John Cena runs down and makes the save before it can happen. Oh, btw, John Cena is a babyface again. Early low-end MOTYC at ****.

Final Thoughts: A nice solid wrestling and sports entertainment sandwich. The Angle/Michaels match delivered, and the TLC delivered beyond expectations. Everything in the middle was either to advance toward the Rumble or sell something (GoDaddy, “Dancing With…”, etc.). Flair had a lot of people believing there for a minute, and more importantly, he had people caring. They actually seem to have turned things around for Edge and Cena with this title switch.

J.D. Dunn