The Shimmy 12.31.07: The Carlito Report Card

Happy New Year’s everybody. This week was supposed to be the Top 50 WWE Matches of 2007 until I realized we still had a show tonight. I know I could have done it anyhow, but I wanted to wait until all the shows were done this year before I made it official, especially with Ric Flair vs. Triple H set for tonight. So with that delay I figured I do a companion piece to last week’s Santino Marella Report Card by doing a Report Card for his new tag team partner Carlito. I know he isn’t the most popular guy in these here parts anymore, but I figured he would have some matches worth taking about. Worse comes to worse you guys can at least bitch about it in the comments section. So here we go!

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match: Eddie Guerrero, Big Show, Rob Van Dam, & John Cena vs. Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, & Carlito (Survivor Series 2004)

This match was really a glorified squash. Carlito had beef with John Cena after that whole “Cena got stabbed in a nightclub” incident that allowed Cena to film “The Marine.” The faces pretty much dominated from the beginning and Carlito was even working with a broken arm in this match. It didn’t end up mattering much.

My Grade: C

Carlito vs. Big Show (Judgment Day 2005)

Considering that this was just a match to set up a future Big Show-Matt Morgan match that never materialized, and that the two men just didn’t gel, this gets a low grade from me. There was no way this feud was going to do any good for Carlito’s career, and fortunately it was dropped when Big Show went to Raw. This was the worst match on an otherwise stellar card.

My Grade: C-

Intercontinental Title Match: Carlito© vs. Shelton Benjamin (Vengeance 2005)

This was a fun little opener on a good card. Carlito had just made his Raw debut the previous Monday and ended Benjamin’s long Intercontinental Title run in his first match. This was Benjamin’s return match and unfortunately this was where he started losing his momentum from early 2005. It was in his feud with Carlito that Benjamin started to slip up and I believe that adversely affected his push. Carlito was still working pretty hard at this point so they had some good matches, but neither man really reached their potential in this feud.

My Grade: B+

Intercontinental Title Match: Carlito© vs. Ric Flair (Unforgiven 2005)

This could have been a big feud for Carlito, but it seems as if they just needed a heel in there for Flair to beat up on. It really could have been any heel champion in this role as the Flair victory is all that mattered. This match was significantly better than the matches Flair and Carlito had earlier this year.

My Grade: C+

Carlito vs. Mick Foley (Taboo Tuesday 2005)

This was a bad use of both Carlito and Foley. I liked the idea of a Foley-Carlito feud at the time, but it turned out to be pretty crappy. The fans voting for Foley to dress as Mankind was also really lame. This should totally have been Dude Love vs. Carlito. I mean, the man that spits in the face of people that don’t want to be cool vs. the personification of cool would have been a, um, cool match. Instead we caught the same old stuff, which normally is OK, but this was just disappointing.

My Grade: D+

Interpromotional, Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match: Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Kane, Carlito, & Chris Masters vs. Batista, Randy Orton, JBL, Rey Mysterio, & Bobby Lashley (Survivor Series 2005)

Some people weren’t impressed with this match, but this match really summed up the whole “gang warfare” mentality of the invasion. Imagine if there had been clear sides like this during the WCW invasion, and heels and faces could team together without having to turn. This was a unique match up, and it delivered with other unique mini-match ups throughout. Some may dislike the brand fraternization, as I have my own criticisms of it, but it brought back some of the tradition of the Survivor Series while adding a new spin to it.

My Grade: B+

WWE Title, Elimination Chamber Match: John Cena© vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kane vs. Kurt Angle (New Year’s Revolution 2006)

People are hard on this Elimination Chamber Match for the sole reason that they didn’t think anyone outside of Cena or Angle stood a chance of winning. Maybe so, but that doesn’t change how good this match was. First of all it was great to see the smartass Buffalo crowd put in place when Kurt Angle was the first guy eliminated. It was also a bit of a shock to see Carlito and Chris Masters make it so far in the match. Imagine if they had done that with CM Punk in the Extreme Elimination Chamber back in 2006, eh? WWE booked the match in a rather surprising manner, something that I think helped the match tremendously.

My Grade: B+

2006 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2006)

I really don’t remember Carlito doing anything of note in this match at all. This was a rather forgettable Rumble outside of Rey winning it all, and I don’t really have much to say.

My Grade: C+

World Tag Team Title Match: Big Show & Kane© vs. Carlito & Chris Masters (WrestleMania 22)

A short, effective opener, I was there live to cheer on my favorite team of Carlito and Chris Masters. Alas it would not be their night, but I was able to see the Masterlock applied and dance to Carlito’s music, so all was well. I guess I have to give it an objective grade, so here goes.

My Grade: B-

Carlito vs. Chris Masters (Backlash 2006)

Most people today would shudder at this match, but I quite enjoyed it. This was the start of lucha Carlito and he would bust out some high flying stuff here as he started his face run. He actually started off a lot better at the high flying stuff then how he is today. Just like I said about the Flair match, this was much better than their match they had earlier in the year.

My Grade: B

Intercontinental Title, Triple Threat Match: Shelton Benjamin© vs. Carlito vs. John Morrison (Vengeance 2006)

While some might call this a mindless midcard spotfest, I quite enjoyed it. The feud here was really between Benjamin and Carlito (with the roles reversed from the previous year) and Morrison just thrown in for the hell of it. A lot of people questioned why Morrison would be involved since he had pretty much been jobbed out already on his short stint on Raw. Little did we know that Morrison would take the opportunity to show what he could do as a singles competitor and hang in there with Benjamin and Carlito. The double suplex-superplex spot is still really cool. This is probably where Carlito lost a lot of his push as he would slowly get phased out of anything important.

My Grade: B+

Carlito vs. Randy Orton (Unforgiven)

This match could have been really good, and it actually wasn’t bad, but WWE put it in the death slot on PPV which wasn’t a good sign. Their feud was actually pretty entertaining and Carlito probably could have stepped up to a major role as a main event face here, but both men pretty much went through the motions, knowing what their role was on the card. Carlito’s springboard into an RKO from Orton was a pretty swank spot, but that’s about it.

My Grade: B-

Intercontinental Title Match: Jeff Hardy© vs. Carlito (Cyber Sunday 2006)

There are two lines of thinking on this match. Some people hated it, some people loved it. I know my boss Larry Csonka called it one of the worst matches of the year. Me, I liked it. Hardy was on a hot streak coming off his feud with John Morrison (actually this was in the middle of his feud with Morrison) and I think Carlito was motivated by the fact that the fans chose him to challenge Hardy. They had a hot crowd and a hot finish and I think the fans made the right choice by putting Carlito in the title match.

My Grade: B+

Carlito vs. Chris Masters (New Year’s Revolution 2007)

And we now have Carlito-Masters Part Deux. It was inoffensive, and was actually pretty entertaining, but both men were pretty dead in the water at this point. This is about where Carlito’s face run was getting stale and Masters had been jobbed out a bit too much. Carlito was obviously the priority for WWE booking at this point, and yet they let Masters get the win by nefarious means. I guess they wanted to try and build both men like that, but it ended up helping nobody.

My Grade: C+

2007 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2007)

Carlito wasn’t a huge factor in this match, but he did provide one of the more entertaining eliminations. Carlito was one of the men that Khali tossed from the ring once he made his arrival, except Carlito tried to get back in the ring before he was officially eliminated. Carlito tried to springboard back into the ring off the apron but Khali caught him with the chop in mid-air to send him to the floor. Good spot and the Rumble always needs those fun little spots.

My Grade: A

Dark, Lumberjack Match: Ric Flair & Carlito vs. Chavo Guerrero & Gregory Helms (WrestleMania 23)

Well, by giving it the Lumberjack stipulation WWE at least attempted to make this match sound important, but no dice. Chavo & Helms were actually a hell of a tag team, and Flair & Carlito should have been on the main WrestleMania card so they should have had something to prove, but this was really just your typical Dark Match. I still think London & Kendrick should have had an open challenge for the WWE Tag Team Titles and Flair & Carlito could have answered it on the main show. In any event, at least Flair got to be on the show in some capacity.

My Grade: C

Carlito vs. Ric Flair (Judgment Day 2007)

Bor-fucking-ing. Seriously. Carlito was sloppy and unmotivated and Flair was as one dimensional as I’ve ever seen him. I know people will say that Flair always relies on low blows and chops but this was particularly bad. I suppose the new revelation that they went out there without a plan probably explains a lot of that. Apparently Vince made the call mid-match who he wanted to go over in an attempt to assess Carlito’s abilities. Still, this was a pretty crappy way to do it.

My Grade: D

Intercontinental Title, Triple Threat Match: Umaga© vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito (SummerSlam 2007)

This wasn’t bad, but it didn’t set the world on fire. Kennedy and Umaga deserved better at this point, but WWE was attempting to salvage Carlito and he managed to find his way in this match. I guess it’s better than getting squashed by Bobby Lashley which was supposedly the original plan before Lashley got hurt. Carlito managed to get a bit of a rub and didn’t even have to do the job (Kennedy got that honor) so this would be a positive step for his push.

My Grade: B-

No Holds Barred for Carlito: Carlito vs. Triple H (Unforgiven 2007)

Again Carlito managed to get a PPV payday because of somebody else’s situation. This was supposed to be Triple H vs. Umaga but Umaga was suspended for the Signature Pharmacy scandal and hence Carlito found himself fighting The Game. The match actually wasn’t that bad, pretty good actually, but nobody ever gave Carlito a chance. Credit to Carlito for bringing the goods in a big match, but at this point nobody was really buying it.

My Grade: C+

Well there you have it. With Carlito deciding to stay on with WWE and his new tag team with Santino Marella I see Carlito finding himself in more meaningful matches in the coming months. At the very least he should be a part of the 2008 Royal Rumble Match.

Andy! Andy! At Last You Have Some Feedback!

Ian Brogden sends in his WrestleMania predictions:

World Title

EDGE VS THE UNDERTAKER

Synopsis: This is EVERYBODY’S main event, it needs no reasoning behind it. I hope that the streak stays alive and Taker gets the run he should have got last year. I think the loyal veterans all deserve one last long title run (Hint Hint towards a Raw superstar who hasn’t held the title since 2002)

HHH VS RIC FLAIR

Synopsis: Simple. These men respect each other and always have good matches. Vince hates HHH and wants rid of Flair so naturally he makes this a ‘Loser Leaves Town Match’. HHH can win it after a lengthy battle and look generally heartbroken, then have a victorious Vince come down and mock Flair. The rest sets itself up, have HHH pedigree Vince and then let Flair put the Figure Four on him. Vince then leaves and all the superstars (barring the guys in the main event) can then gather on the ramp and clap Ric Flair off.

WWE Title

RANDY ORTON VS BATISTA

Synopsis: I like the idea of Batista losing to Edge via shenanigans at the RR but then entering the Rumble. Have Taker come down as an early number and look like he may pull off back to back victories and then make Batista the #30 entry. You can then have a lengthy battle between those men as the final two and have Batista finally eliminate Taker and jump to Raw to ‘beat’ some respect into Randy Orton. This works in all so many ways: Gives closure to the excellent Batista/ Taker feud with both men still looking stong – Batista was after all #30, while Taker had to work through loads of other Superstars (such as HHH, HBK etc) – so Taker hardly looks weak, while Batista has the clean win over Taker and the Rumble Victory to make him look like the real deal for his jump to Raw. Also the #30 spot wins back to back years, giving that number back its place as the one everybody wants! Oh and Batista takes the victory at Mania setting up a feud with a freshly heel (after Mania) HHH.

Woman’s Title

BETH PHOENIX VS CANDICE MICHELLE

Synopsis: The logical match. Keep it short and sweet and give Michelle the big win her efforts last year justify.

SHAWN MICHAELS VS JEFF HARDY

Synopsis: The match that should steal the show. The second face vs face match of the night, but I’d be leaning to an edgier, more tweenier version of HBK. Both men can eliminate each other from the Rumble and from there you can have Jeff respectively ask for a match with Shawn at Mania (Shawn is Jeff’s favourite ever wrestlers and they can play on that) However, keep Shawn with the angle “I’m sick of people trying to make a name from me” and have him diss Hardy but eventually agree to the match. Jeff should get the win here and then basically have a clean victory over HHH and a clean victory over HBK (as well as a near victory – but a CLEAN loss – to Orton at the Rumble). This feud can go on from here, HBK can get his win back, before Hardy (if he proves he’s ready) wins the rubber match and moves onto the WWE Title.

ECW Title

CM PUNK VS JOHN MORRISON

Synopsis: ECW has kept these two apart pretty well (especially in singles matches) since Morrison’s return and I feel this is the time to revisit and, subsequently, end the feud. Punk will be ready for the move to Raw by this time and Morrison can take the title here and move onto a fresh face contender (RVD?)

FINLAY VS MR MCMAHON

Synopsis: This match is happening and will also put an end to the whole Hornswoggle story by having him choose Finlay here in a fairly short match and ‘tadpole splash’ his father. Hopefully Vince can disappear and Finlay can go onto a decent face run (maybe on ECW), with Horny still appearing for comedy spots every now and then. Hell, it would be funny to (very) occasionally revisit the storyline for comedy purposes after a year or so.

Money in the Bank Invitational

CHRIS JERICHO VS JBL VS UMAGA VS MR KENNEDY VS SHELTON BENJAMIN VS REY MYSTERIO VS KANE VS THE GREAT KHALI

Synopsis: I don’t see the Y2J/JBL feud lasting till Mania on its own, but it can be easily carried into this match. All the other guys are there because they have nothing else to do. I hated putting Khali in there but I really couldn’t think of anybody else and I wanted a star from the Blue Brand. He is after all a former Champion and I’m sure they could disguise him easily in this match (ie have Kane chokeslam him off the stage or something). Jericho gets the win here, because he needs it more than the rest.

United States Title

MVP VS MATT HARDY

Synopsis: See the Main Event – It’s going to happen and Matt Hardy will get his moment.

Tag Titles

MURDOCH AND CADE VS LONDON AND KENDRICK W/SUNNY

Synopsis: I really wanted the tag titles on this card and to do so, I have revisited an old story line. It looks like Sunny is coming back (oh yes) and she will obviously be paired with a young tag team and there is no better choice on the roster. I like the idea of her seducing Murdoch (ala Phineas Godwinn) before this match and thus costing the Dervish (who GOD I hope are tag team champs again by this point) the titles. From there London and Kendrick can feud with Marella/ Carlito and Cade can turn on Murdoch leading to a decent push as a midcarder for him.

I really like this card. I’d like to see Orton-Batista finally get to happen, and now with the rumors that Cena could make an appearance at Mania this would be a great match for him to referee. I’m not they’d go with Flair vs. Triple H again after tonight’s show, but in theory it works. I give you props for doing something that no one else has managed to do with their WrestleMania predictions: you booked a World Tag Team Title Match with real teams that doesn’t bore me to tears. In order for the tag titles to make it onto the show they need to have some sort of hook, you can’t just put it on there to have the tag titles represented, despite what most of the IWC will tell you. I love the idea of bringing Sunny back as her old tag team whore self (man that sounded bad) and I like the possibilities, especially if you throw in some of the over Divas to represent tag teams against Sunny. Good job!

The Shimmy Likes It Raw!

What’s on tap for tonight’s show?

Career Threatening Match: Ric Flair vs. Triple H; I hope they add some sort of incentive for Triple H aside from Flair wanting Triple H to give it his all. I also think this will play a role in Triple H’s eventual heel turn.

JBL’s Raw return! JBL is slated to make his return to Raw tonight. It’s been a while since the “Wrestling Gawd” has competed in a match, what will he have up his sleeve tonight?

Well, that does it for me. Next week will be the Top 50 WWE Matches of 2007. You won’t want to miss that! Until then, don’t die. Happy New Year’s! Clark…out.