wrestling / TV Reports
The Slammiversary 2007 Breakdown
June 23, 2007 | Posted by
| Slammiversary 2007 by J.D. Dunn Wow. Has it really been five years? I remember back when TNA was first announced, and I thought it would just be a vanity promotion for Jeff Jarrett. How wrong I was. Well, no I wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been a fun ride for the last five years. I’m not sure what the attendance is, but I’ll go ahead and call it “good-sized for TNA.” The Rottweilers EXPLODE! Rhino and Homicide is a little awkward until Rhino just alley oops him over the top to the floor! Cool sequence as Senshi tries to chop down Hernandez and eventually does with help from Rhino. Hernandez hombres up and tosses Senshi across the ring. He got some air on that one. Hernandez grabs a bearhug and then hits the Crackerjack (Overhead Toss by the neck!). Senshi double-stomps him and tags out. A big brawl erupts, and Hernandez falls over the ropes. Senshi follows him out with a springboard plancha. Back inside, Konnan tosses Homicide a blackjack, but Hector snaps Homicide’s throat on the top rope, allowing Rhino to hit the GORE at 8:16. Good, fun opener. LAX should string Hector up in retaliation because he always seems to get the better of them. I only hope it doesn’t lead to the stupid thing where he winds up joining them like Ahmed Johnson and the Nation of Domination. **3/4 Kevin Nash, who is looking more and more like MadTVs’ version of Kenny Rogers every day, joins the commentary crew. Jay controls early with a cross between Randy Savage and indy lucha offense. Sabin takes over and strangles Jay against the ropes. He goes to the eyes and fires off a few mocking jabs as Nash and Tenay argue over whether Nash beat Backlund in nine seconds or only eight. Lethal comes back with a quebrada. A twisting suplex gets two. Nash claims to have changed the name of the city from “Jonesville” to “Nashville.” Lethal comes off the top…right into a kick. Sabin hits a few more kicks, but they only get two. Lethal thrust kicks him and hits the Flatliner, leading to the Flying Elbow Drop (that one needs some work) at 8:44. Lethal is fun in this gimmick, but whether or not he can drive an angle without Nash holding his hand remains to be seen. **1/4 Lynn and Killings start with a brisk little sequence before Wycheck tags in. Wow. Frank’s huge compared to everyone else. Storm knocks him down a few times and mocks his receiving skills. Wycheck works in the 3-4 moves they showed him and press slams Lynn out on the heels. Storm tries to smash Wycheck in the head with a chair (Wycheck has a history of concussions), but the referee stops him. Wycheck cleans house but turns into a superkick from Storm. Vandenbosch pulls Storm out for an awkward brawl. That allows Wycheck to recover and finish Storm with the Cradle Piledriver at 8:55. It’s interesting that most of the WWE roster has spent years training and aren’t allowed to do piledrivers, but the guest star gets to use it as his finisher. Wycheck was about as good as Kevin Greene but not as good as Lawrence Taylor. The match was a bit awkward due to the inexperience of the Titans. *3/4 Backlund frustrates Shelley with a series of heel picks early. Shelley settles into a keylock, but Backlund powers out of it. Chris Sabin runs down and jumps Backlund behind the ref’s back. Backlund makes his own save and finishes Shelley with the O’Connor Roll at 3:47. The Machine Guns try to attack him, but Backlund makes his own save. WHAAAAA? Kevin Nash comes out to smooth things over, and Jerry Lynn runs down as well. Nash boots Lynn in the face for no apparent reason, and allows the Guns to attack Backlund again. Jay Lethal makes the weakest save in the history of wrestling. What in the blue hell was going on here? You have a perfectly good tag team in the Guns, but you job them to a guy a quarter century past his prime? Nash turns heel…I guess. I get the whole “Detroit vs. Minneapolis” feud, but that’s not exactly Brooklyn vs. Boston now, is it? 1/2* Kip looks like he’s wearing panties on his head tonight. This is a nothing match as Team Hemme shows about as much personality as your average PrimeTime Wrestling heel job team (Barry Horowitz and Dale Wolfe, I’m looking at you). They go for a double suplex, but BG hits a spear, allowing Kip to roll up the other guy for the win at 2:47. The James Gang chases Christy up to the top of the ramp where Lance Hoyt appears and carries her back to the ring. Kip is about to chokeslam Christy before Hoyt turns on him and boots him in the face. The heels beat the James Gang down and leave them laying. Christy makes out with Hoyt after the beatdown. Huh. I guess there’s some sort of irony in that she wanted respect as a wrestler but wound up using her body to recruit guys to do her dirty work. 1/4* Young gets fired up early, no-selling Roode’s attempt to slap him around. He clears Roode out of the ring and goes up top. Tracy gets in his way, so Young flies over her to hit Roode with a crossbody. Nice camerawork there. Roode takes over and lets Ms. Brooks slap Eric around a bit. He locks in a chinlock, but Eric powers up. He Flair Flips to the floor and depantses Ms. Brooks. See, why does it always have to be Shawn Michaels and Rick Rude showing ass?! Back in, Roode hits a clothesline but comes off into a boot. Young puts him on top, but Ms. Brooks runs in. Young catches her, hauls her up, puts Roode on his shoulders too, and DVDs them BOTH! Sadly, the crack TNA production staff completely misses the nearfall. Roode rolls to the floor and grabs a chair as Ms. Brooks distracts the referee. He wallops Eric and gets the pin at 8:11. Jim Cornette comes out and restarts the match. Gail Kim comes out and chases Ms. Brooks to the back. Roode smacks Eric around a bit, but he gets cocky, and Eric is able to small package him at 10:39. This could have been epic, but instead it was just wacky ol’ Eric Young hijinx. Plus, this is sold as a huge moment in Eric’s career, but they cut away immediately to the next interview without giving him a moment to soak up the adulation. **1/2 Actually, when he whispered in Cornette’s ear, Animal was the first person I thought of. The match isn’t very good as both Steiner and Animal look gassed throughout, but at least TNA gave the fans a cool match-up. Lots of clotheslines and no-selling from the challengers. Animal calls for the Doomsday Device, but D-Von breaks it up. Team 3D hits the 3D at 6:39. 3/4* This would be the one angle that they got right. Daniels went to Sting for guidance after his career (and life) derailed. Sting advised him to turn to God, but Daniels’ warped mind took that to mean that he could do no wrong because God was behind him. Say it with me, folks: “character depth.” It also obeys the Michael Hayes’ “the good heel has to believe he’s a babyface” rule. Daniels gets knocked to the apron, but knocks Sting into the railing. He hits a gutbuster back in the ring and tries an abdominal stretch, but Hebner breaks it up because he raked the eyes. Cool moment as Daniels points to the sky as if God trumps Earl Hebner. He hits a Stinger Splash, but that just makes Sting mad. Sting blitzes him but runs into a flying kick. Daniels sets up for the Last Rites, but Sting reverses to the Scorpion Deathdrop at 6:34. Hopefully, this doesn’t spell the end of the feud, which would be a waste of Daniels as a character. The next step should be Daniels realizing he can’t compete physically, so he has to screw with Sting’s soul. **1/2 They slug it out and head to the floor. More slugging. Well, you didn’t expect a technical classic, did you? Back in, Tomko blocks a chokeslam but takes a buttalanche. Now, Abyss is able to hit the chokeslam. It gets two. Abyss dumps out some tacks, but Tomko Tree Slams him right into them. Tomko sets up for the boot but runs right into the BLACK HOLE SLAM! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Abyss dumps out some broken glass, but Tomko clotheslines him. Tomko takes a piece of glass and slices Abyss’ head open with it. Then he curbstomps Abyss’ face into the glass! Holy shit! Tomko is pure evil! Abyss grabs the barbed-wire bat and beats Abyss all the way up the ramp. Andrew Thomas tells them to go home on camera. Abyss tries to climb up the scaffold to get away from him, so Tomko goes up the other side and starts swinging the bat. Abyss yanks him off onto a pyramid of empty boxes and then follows him off with an elbow! That’s one of those “cool in theory” spots, but it loses its luster when you see they’ve landed on cardboard boxes. Tomko staggers back to the ring, and Thomas again tells Abyss that they have to go home right there on camera. Back in, Tomko charges, but Abyss catches him with the Black Hole Slam in the glass at 13:54. This was a brutal match that wound up being much better than I thought it would be because Tomko worked his characterization into the match rather than dropping it and just going through the spots, which is what generally happens in matches like these. *** Harris is a last-second addition by Cornette after Jarrett turned down the spot. You know the drill. It’s kind of a reverse ladder match where you have to hang the title up by climbing the ladder. You can only climb the ladder if you get a pinfall or submission, though, and the guy who gets pinned or submits has to go to the penalty box. Christian and AJ team up early, and Christian tells AJ to lay down for him so he can get an easy pin. Angle breaks it up, though. AJ wants to try it again with him on top, but Christian is cool to the idea. AJ goes nuts with an enzuigiri on Harris, but Samoa Joe blocks the springboard and slings Styles into the railing. Harris hits Catatonic, but Joe takes out Harris and Christian with a ladder toss. Christian gets some bad mogambo as Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch while Angle applies the Anklelock on his lower half. Sucks to be Christian. AJ and Harris break it up. Christian gets crotched on a ladder, so AJ hits Harris with the Quebrada DDT. Joe breaks up the pinfall attempt but takes a Pélé. Styles and Angle do a sloppy reversal sequence that sends Angle to the floor. Harris backdrops AJ onto Christian in a crazy spot. Harris goes up, but Angle recovers and Angleslams him off for the pin. Joe tosses the ladder and takes AJ out with the Schwein and Muscle Buster. Angle breaks up the pin, though, and accidentally knocks out the referee. Angle taps to the Coquina Clutch, but it’s meaningless because the ref is out. Christian knocks out Joe with a ladder and then steals the pin to become eligible. Christian goes up, but Joe catches him and pulls him off with an Ace Crusher. Joe hurts his shoulder, so Harris climbs up. He fends off Joe and Christian, but AJ springboards in and dropkicks the ladder over. Awesome! AJ and Joe climb the top of the penalty box, and Joe tosses AJ through the announce table. Harris goes up too and clotheslines Angle! He works in the Terry Funk whirling dervish spot with the ladder, taking out Angle and Christian. Harris goes up, but Christian pushes over the ladder and goes up himself. Angle recovers and applies the anklelock to Christian on the ladder. Well that’s just silly. Christian and Angle slug it out on the ladder, but Harris comes off the top rope and spears Christian, allowing Angle to go up and claim the title at 19:22. After the match, Joe offers a congratulatory handshake, but Angle yanks him into an Angleslam. Wild and crazy clusterfrick here, which I don’t mind because it was a fun match, but TNA is continuing a disturbing trend where they aren’t able to rely on just two guys going out there and having a good match for the TNA title. **** The 411: A fun and emotional show thanks to a fresh crowd and strong efforts throughout the card. There were some questionable moves, like the burial of the Murder City Machine Guns, but overall the PPV was probably TNA’s best of the year. Thumbs up. |
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