The Wrestling Bazaar: NWA/TNA Weekly PPV #5

The week before this show, TNA management was informed that the buyrates for their shows were nowhere near as high as they initially thought. For that reason, they had to restructure their financial plan based around a figure of 15,000 buys per show, instead of 55,000 buys. As a result, this PPV was the last one before they moved to the much smaller Nashville Fairgrounds, aka, The Asylum.

July 17, 2002- Municipal Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee

Show starts with highlights of Jeff Jarrett attacking everyone from Scott Hall to the Tennessee Titans from the past couple of weeks.

Earlier this week, Goldilocks tried to get an interview with Ken Shamrock. Back off bitch! You want to know what it’s like to have a chair wrapped around my head? How about I show you and start kicking the shit out of everyone here?

The usual opening video and pyro formally kicks things off as Mike Tenay announces Jeff Jarrett vs. Malice in a Ladder Match to crown a new Number One Contender for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, tonight.

In the back, Scott Hall and Jeff Jarrett go at it. Bill Behrens removes Jarrett from the Ladder Match.

James Mitchell and the New Church head to the ring. It is with deep regret that Mitchell has to make this next announcement. It appears that Jeff Jarrett will not be able to bleed here tonight. However, Malice is still in the mood to wash his hands in the blood of another victim. Who would like to take a ride in the fast lane to hell? Lights out…Sabu!

Match One: Number One Contender’s Match- Ladder Match- Malice vs. Sabu
Sabu goes on the offensive with strikes in the corner but quickly gets reversed. He comes back with a DDT and a springboard back kick. Malice ends the run with a back elbow. Crowd is hot for Sabu. Malice chokes him on the mat then hits a bodyslam. He gets a chair but Sabu takes his legs out from under him and throws said chair into his face. Sabu places the chair in the corner and goes for a splash off of it but Malice catches him and comes down with a backbreaker. He connects with a vertical suplex and a leg drop before sending him headfirst into the chair in the corner. New Church member Tempest very blatantly parlays some information to Sabu through the ropes. Malice continues with clubs to the chest on the ropes but misses a charge and ends up outside. He grabs the ladder…then throws it down. Sabu just stalls in the ring as Malice goes back for the ladder. Match resumes when Sabu baseball slides the ladder into Malice. Triple Jump Splash to the outside by Sabu. He then hits a side kick jumping off the steel steps and goes under the ring for a table. Malice comes back with a punch to the side of the head. He has the ladder propped between the apron and the barricade and drops Sabu over it. He drops him over it a second time and blood pours out of Sabu’s nose. Back in the ring, Malice sets the ladder up in the corner and sends Sabu into it. He follows with a big splash and hits a bodyslam with the ladder underneath Sabu. Malice whacks him with a chair and goes back to the ladder. Sabu springs off the middle rope with another back kick into Malice with the ladder. He follows up with a leg drop on top of the ladder. Sabu sets up the ladder to retrieve the contract but Malice powerbombs him off. Malice doesn’t want to get that contract as he sets the ladder up on the middle turnbuckle and hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex onto it. Malice finally sets the ladder up to climb but Sabu dropkicks the ladder from the top rope, dropping him. Malice again sets the ladder up in the corner but misses a splash. Sabu throws the chair into his head and jumps off of it onto Malice in the corner. He climbs to the tope and drops the ladder over Malice’s back. Sabu leg drops the chair into Malice and sets up the ladder under the contract. Malice cuts him off but Sabu rocks him with rights. Malice comes back with a nice spinebuster and sets the ladder up. Sabu tips the ladder and Malice falls out of the ring and into the table he had set up earlier. Sabu climbs and grabs the contract for the win.
Winner: Sabu in 13:00
Rating: **1/2 (Alright match despite some confusion early on. Sabu seemed motivated which is always a make-it-break-it for his matches. However, other than for the name recognition, giving Sabu a shot at Shamrock really makes no sense as Malice was already involved in a program with him and both are faces.)

Post-match, the New Church attacks Sabu, ending with Malice chokeslamming Sabu off the apron and onto a table.

Outside the building, Jeff Jarrett is restrained by security as he argues with Bill Behrens.

In the ring, AJ Styles has a mic. He wants an apology from his partner, Jerry Lynn. Before he can get in another word, Lynn comes out. I don’t owe you shit, punk! He will tell Styles why he left him laying like a bitch last week. Styles has been wrestling three years, Lynn has been wrestling for 14. Yet, he walks around like King Shit. Well, he ain’t shit! He ain’t shit until he’s paid his dues. Lynn will be damned if he sits back and watches Styles steal all the glory. From here on out, Styles will follow his lead. Styles agrees, then attacks him from behind and finishes with a Styles Clash.

In the back, Goldilocks tries to interview Jasmin St. Claire but Francine beats her up in the showers.

Before our next match, K-Krush has a mic. He looks, talks and smells like a star. Why isn’t he the biggest star in the business? Why has he been in the ring with a NASCAR driver? Why did the WWE let him go? They were afraid K-Krush would become the hottest thing they had. He has been kept down his whole life. Why? Because they know he is better than they are. It’s finally time for him to blow the top off of this son of a bitch. He is the truth, and the truth will no longer be denied.

Match Two: K-Krush vs. Norman Smiley
Krush attacks at the bell. Smiley gets in a hiptoss and does a little dance. He follows up with a windup bodyslam. Krush ducks a clothesline and tries for a wheel barrel but Smiley stops it, slaps his ass and slams him down. Cover gets two. In the corner, Krush floats over and hits a spinning kick for two. Another cover also gets two. Krush slugs in the corner and presses his feet against Smiley’s throat. Smiley runs into a boot in the opposite corner but ducks a clothesline and hits a back suplex. Both men are down and the ref puts in the count. They are up at five and Smiley gets in some rights and a headbutt. He hits a back elbow and a clothesline. Krush regroups and hits a sitout facebuster for the win.
Winner: K-Krush in 3:00
Rating: ½* (Smiley dominated almost the entire match, at times making Krush look like a complete chump. Who are they trying to elevate here?)

Post-match, K-Krush attacks and chokes Norman Smiley out with his belt. Smiley’s wife comes out and gets choked too.

In the back, Goldilocks is with Puppet who appears to be jacking off inside a trash can. Can’t he get some privacy here? He is suffering from P.M.S.- Pissed Midget Syndrome. The only thing that cures it is beating midget ass. Tonight, he will wrap his 6-inch pythons around Meatball’s neck. He then offers to show Goldilocks his cobra after the match. Goldilocks promises to leave this job once her singing career takes off. Yes, please do. She then walks in on the Dupps playing spin the bottle with their cousin/girlfriend Fluff.

Match Three: Jorge Estrada/Sonny Siaki vs. Christopher Daniels/Elix Skipper
An early incarnation of Triple X, Daniels and Skipper duck two clotheslines at the start and attack with strikes. They charge and Daniels gets back body dropped out of the ring while Estrada is clotheslined out. Skipper follows with a somersault planchas onto Estrada. Back in, Estrada face plants Daniels and dances. Siaki enters and throws Skipper into the middle rope. A nice Samoan Drop gets him two. Estrada tags in and gets a standing moonsault for two. Skipper blocks a float over attempt and elbows Estrada’s back. Siaki joins in on commentary. Estrada comes back with a double under-hook suplex for one. Another cover gets two. Siaki wants to tell the announce crew that he cares about three things: Me, me and me. Estrada chokes Skipper on the mat and hits with a clothesline. Siaki tags in and puts the boots to Skipper. He runs into a boot but comes back with a backbreaker for two. Estrada tags in and hits a springboard moonsault for two. Siaki back on commentary. Estrada covers again for two. He goes low and hits a modified Razor’s Edge. Cover gets two. Siaki says no one cares about the Flying Elvises, they care about him. Estrada sends Skipper to the apron but Skipper replies with a front flip elbow off the top rope. Daniels tags in and takes out both Elvises. He hits a combination bulldog/clothesline on both. In the corner, Daniels strikes Siaki but Estrada drops him with a back suplex. Skipper comes in, jumps off Daniels’ back, onto Estrada’s shoulders and hits a rana on Siaki. Nice. Daniels slams Estrada down for two. Back up, Daniels jabs at Estrada but has his legs taken out by Siaki. Estrada follows up with a low dropkick to the head. A leg drop gets him two. Siaki tags in and chops away. He chokes Daniels with his boot and strikes Skipper on the apron. Estrada tags in and misses a splash in the corner. Daniels hits an enzuigiri and both men are down. They make tags and Skipper takes out both Elvises. He hits an armdrag and a belly-to-belly suplex on Siaki. He follows up with a double under-hook suplex for two. Estrada tags in and hits an X-Factor. A botched springboard moonsault gets him two. Skipper comes back with a kick and tags in Daniels who hits an STO. He connects with a BME for two. Siaki tags in but falls to a reverse STO. Skipper tags in and hits a missile dropkick for two. Siaki hits a pumphandle slam for two. Daniels comes in and clotheslines Siaki out of the ring. In the ring, Estrada reverses and Play of the Day and goes for a German suplex. Skipper lands on his feet and hits Play of the Day. He covers but the ref is distracted by the commotion on the outside. Siaki comes in and hits a Money Clip neckbreaker for the win.
Winner: Jorge Estrada/Sonny Siaki in 10:00
Rating: **3/4 (Typical X-Division match. I don’t know why they would already plant seeds for an Elvises break-up, but that seems to be the plan with Siaki being all for himself.)

Post-match, the Dupps take Jorge Estrada out with a wooden board. Siaki is nowhere to be found.

In the back, Goldilocks is with K-Krush. She wants to know what the point of attacking Norman Smiley was. You want to know the point? How about he starts slapping you around, bitch? Scott Hall comes in and beats Krush up.

Match Four: Meatball vs. Puppet
Meatball is referred to as the world’s largest midget. Puppet drills Meatball with a trashcan at the start then slams him down on it. Cover gets two. He dropkicks the trashcan into Meatball but gets tossed to the outside. Meatball hits a double sledge off the apron and bodyslams Puppet on the entrance ramp. He drops an elbow and throws him into the barricade. There is a shopping cart with food next to the ramp. Meatball throws a pie into Puppet’s face. Puppet goes low and throws food on him. He drops a bag of flour on Meatball’s and breaks a watermelon over his head. On the ramp, he hits Meatball with a trashcan lid and dropkicks a chair into him. Puppet continues by ramming him into the steel steps and hits a DDT off of them for two. Back in the ring, Puppet climbs to the middle rope and hits a leg drop onto a chair. He places the chair on top of Meatball and climbs to the middle rope and hits a splash for the win.
Winner: Puppet in 6:00
Rating: * (I enjoyed this more than the previous midget matches, but that isn’t saying much. That DDT off the steel steps was nice.)

Next to the ramp, midget wrestler Teo gropes one of the cage dancers. I have no words.

Match Five: Jasmin St. Claire vs. Francine
Jasmin comes out in a white t-shirt with no bra. And she is all wet. Catfight! Lots of hair-pulling before Jasmin takes Francine’s top off. Francine tackles her, takes off her shorts and whips her with a belt. Blue Meanie, Jasmin’s boyfriend, enters the ring and DDTs Francine. Ferrara is pissed about that and goes to check on Francine.
Winner: Francine in 1:00 via Disqualification
Rating: N/A (I assume that was the result, there was no official decision.)

Post-match, they do a stretcher job as West and Tenay act disgusted.

In the back, Goldilocks is with Low-Ki. He does his talking in the ring. Interview is over in three seconds. Well that was pointless.

Match Six: X-Division Championship- AJ Styles © vs. Low-Ki
Lock-up to start and they do some mat work. Ki gets in an armbar and Styles counters into a facelock. They start throwing strikes on the mat before Ki takes over with chops. They trade kicks. Styles misses one and Ki gets a takedown. He applies a front facelock but Styles gets a fireman’s carry takeover. He mounts and gets in some more strikes. A large portion of the crowd facing the camera has their backs turned, distracted by something in the stands. Ki regains control after a kick. He continues with some more chops. He goes for a cartwheel kick but Styles blocks it with a low dropkick. That was sick. Back up, Styles hits a dropkick and a senton for two. Ki comes back with a rolling kick then a thrust kick that sends Styles to the apron. Styles climbs to the top but Ki knocks him down. Tenay mentions that Ki has a match at an upcoming ROH show. Ki tries to suplex Styles back in the ring but ends up being brought onto the apron. Styles hits a discus clothesline that sends Ki to the floor. He goes for a springboard moonsault but misses. Ki takes over with kicks and chops. Styles heads back in and goes for a suicide dive but Ki connects with a kick through the ropes. On the apron, they trade blows and Ki gets in a dragon clutch in the ropes. Back in, cover gets two. He applies a dragon sleeper but Styles reaches the ropes. He gets his springboard moonsault/inverted DDT for two. Styles runs into a superkick in the corner but connects with a nice powerslam for two. He follows up with a delayed brainbuster for two. In the corner, Styles misses a splash and Ki perches him on the top tope. Styles throws him off and misses with the Spiral Tap. Ki covers for two. He puts him in the Muscle Buster position and rams him into the turnbuckle. He calls for the Ki Crush ’99 but Styles counters into a DDT. Ki regroups with a cartwheel kick in the corner and climbs to the top rope. He goes for a corkscrew moonsault but Styles catches him on the way down and hits a Styles Clash for the win.
Winner: AJ Styles in 11:00 to retain the X-Division Championship
Rating: ***1/4 (Good match, but they can do better. I like the way the X-Division continues to be portrayed as a big deal.)

Post-match, Jerry Lynn attacks AJ Styles with a cradle piledriver. He brings in a ladder and continues the attack. He ends it with a DDT onto the ladder and a second cradle piledriver. The crowd chants, “Jerry Lynn, Jerry Lynn!”

At ringside, Mike Tenay announces for next week:

-NWA World Heavyweight Championship- Submissions/Ladder Match- Ken Shamrock© vs. Sabu

Before our next match, Brian Lawler gets on the mic. He is here to tell us a few facts about Jerry Lawler. 1) He has been married three times; all three times, the wife has been younger than Brian (Ferrara wonders how Brian’s mother can be younger than him). 2) Brian left a ticket for Lawler to come down and watch his son wrestle. He is not here because every Wednesday, he likes to hang out by the local high school with a fistful of candy. Before he can continue, Scott Hall enters the ring without Brian knowing. He lets Brian do some smack talking before attacking from behind.

Match Seven: Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall
Hall drops him with rights and sends him into the ropes. Another right sends Lawler to the outside. He follows and sends him into the barricade and announce table. He rams his head into the table and rams him into the barricade again. “This is what you call mass murder!”- Don West. Really? Not only murder, but mass murder. Lawler bails to the ramp but Hall follows. He gets in some more rights and they head back to ringside. Lawler takes over by hitting Hall with someone’s purse. Back in, Lawler drops Hall with rights. He rams his head into the turnbuckle and gets in some mounted punches. Lawler takes his legs out and drops a head on his groin. He hits a suplex for two. In the corner, Lawler shoulderblocks and smacks Hall. He follows by choking him on the middle rope. He heads outside and connects with a right hand through the middle rope. Lawler grabs a mic and tells those who are chanting, “Jerry’s Kid” to kiss his ass. Back in, he gets more shots in but Hall comes back with some rights of his own. Hall misses a discus clothesline and Lawler connects with a superkick. He heads up top for a Hip Hop Drop but Hall tosses him off. Lawler ducks a clothesline but is hit with a fallaway slam. Hall perches Lawler on the top rope and hits a back suplex. He calls for a Razor’s Edge but Krush enters. Hall takes him out and hits the Razor’s Edge on Lawler for the win.
Winner: Scott Hall in 9:00
Rating: *3/4 (Nothing special and definitely not a suitable main event. Lawler continues to be one of my least favorite characters on the show with his incredibly obnoxious promos and mannerisms.)

Post-match, K-Krush and Brian Lawler choke Scott Hall out with a belt. They do another stretcher job on Hall while Jeff Jarrett, disguised as a paramedic, attacks Hall and security with a chair to close the show.

The 411: After a couple shows with the “edgy” stuff toned down, they came right back with it in full force here. In his book, Jerry Jarrett explains how upset he was with this show, describing it as having “too many missed spots, too much profanity and too much sexual content.” I have to agree. This week’s incredibly lame attempt at sexual comedy makes whatever they do these days look like groundbreaking material. The funniest thing was almost every wrestler berating Goldilocks with profanity. What’s strange is that Ken Shamrock, Jeff Jarrett, Jerry Lynn and K-Krush all played essentially the same exact character. The only positive things remaining are the Styles/Lynn feud and Jarrett’s crazy antics.

Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]