VIOLENT PANDA Wrestling Review: TNA Against All Odds 2006

VIOLENT PANDA Wrestling Review 2.12.o6

TNA Against All Odds 2006

So! Looks like a good PPV lineup here… I don’t think I’m gonna do a Weekend review this week, either. The Eddie thing really makes me want to not watch WWE TV, frankly. There’s no Raw tomorrow, right? Maybe I’ll do a column or something.

Anyway… Jarrett vs. Christian tonight. Sting is gone for another month, and I am guessing that Sting and Jarrett will feud all year (uuggghhhh). It seems to me that Sting as champ fighting against Jarrett’s massive faction of booker’s pets is probably a good way to go, though they say the money is in the chase. The thing is, I just don’t buy Sting chasing Jarrett. It’s clear that the fans put Sting far above Jarrett, and probably wouldn’t buy Sting not being able to beat Jeff – especially considering how in WCW, Sting routinely would beat the entire N.W.O. down at once.

So that makes this month a lame duck kind of month. Fans will be very bitter if Christian loses tonight and it’ll really hurt the guy’s momentum. His career could be crippled. I am guessing Christian wins tonight, and then drops the belt without being pinned in a Sting vs. Jeff vs. Christian main event at a future PPV.

This is all said despite the massive chance that Jeff will just keep the belt and rationalize all complaints as “heel heat”.

TNA… God. I hope Wrestling Society X kicks ass. It sounds like it’s right up my alley. I would really like to watch a wrestling show that gives fans what they want.

Ah well, let’s see what Quadruple J has got up his sleeve tonight. Hey, maybe that SCINTILLATING blackmail angle will have a payoff! Ohh wow I just know that it will be worth all the TV time it’s taken. And another question, will a Hebner be watching in the crowd? That will also be very exciting!

Pre-show… eh who cares.

A-1 vs. Ron Killings:

– Killings comes out in a button shirt as opposed to the jimmy hart graffiti vest. Crowd sings along with his new theme, which is actually not bad.

– Crowd does an awesome dueling “What’s up?” chant.

– Really short. A-1 blew an irish whip reversal. Crowd started to fart on it, but Killings hit his finisher to end it..

Killings actually looked pretty awesome here. A-1 is a HOSS who brings nothing to the table whatsoever.

Winner: Killings

They show a video of the Abyss/Rhino feud and we see that backstage angle of where Rhino gored Abyss through the wall. Why the camera was there makes no sense at all. It could have so easily been explained with an 8 second segment earlier in the show where Rhino tells a cameraman to sit there and watch what happens. But foreshadowing is a foreign word in TNA. They’ll only tease a mystery if they don’t know what the payoff is.

Shannon Moore, Elix Skipper & David Young vs. Shark Boy, Cassidy Riley & Lance Hoyt:

– Heh, Shannon Moore plummets all the way down the card in one month.

– The more I see Cassidy Riley, the more impressed I am. A few weeks back he put on a bumping clinic, and tonight he busts out a sweet handspring elbow and follows up with a spring moonsault.

– Shark Boy is crazy over. “Let’s go Shark Boy” chant.

– I love the “story” of this match. Moore basically turns on his teammates and wants to win on his own. This leads to Hoyt dealing out a ONE HANDED POWERBOMB for the win!

– Great idea, fun match. I wonder if this leads to Hardy/Moore vs. The Diamonds.

Winners: Shark Boy, Cassidy Riley & Lance Hoyt

Joe/Daniels/AJ video. Good stuff. They better not take the belt off of Joe, even if he’s not pinned.

Zbysko is in the back and says he wants no run-ins or weapons tonight. “The referee situation is taken care of”. Huh…

Earlier today, Christian showed up in his porsche.

Jarrett shows up in his hummer (most overpaid man in wrestling history… oh wait. Mark Henry). He jabbers with Team Canada. Scott D’Amore hams it up. Eric Young says Sting is not gone. The “acting” is so brutal right here.

Austin Aries and Roderick Strong vs. The Naturals

– Not much to say about this, really. A shooting star press to the outside… The Naturals still look like little boys forced to perform lewd acts. A couple cool double teams.

– I’d like to see Roderick wear a suit and be all business while Aries is all pleasure. They’d be a delightful odd couple and shenanigans would ensue. Roderick Strong – metrosexual. Howsabout it?

Disappointingly slow. For some reason, they worked a more “methodical” pace. Someone prescribed these guys some “physicality” and I don’t like it one bit.

Winners: The Naturals

Backstage, Zbysko tells Team Canada that anyone who interferes in the main event will be fuh-hired. In TNA, a clean match is so rare that it’s actually treated as a gimmick match. Jeremy Borasch was the interviewer in that segment, as the internet has reported that Shane Douglas’ wife has gotten the Franchise to get help for a painkiller addiction.

Jay Lethal vs. Matt Bentley vs. Petey Williams vs. Alex Shelley:

– Lethal is over LIKE CRAZY despite having been used only as a jobber. What is maddening is that as the crowd chants “We want Lethal”, “Lethal Weapon” and “Lethal”, the announcers talk about Alex Shelley’s camera, the age of the X guys, and what D’Amore looks like. GOD DAMMIT, ACKNOWLEDGE IT YOU IDIOTS! I did not pay money to listen to guys gloss over angles during a good match! That’s what Impact is for! Fuck!

– Bentley’s hot tag gets a nice pop but then completely fizzles.

– Jackie Gayda comes out malfunctioning and she summons her “grrl power” to slap Alex Shelley silly. In the ring, Petey is distracted by this and gets back bodydropped. Lethal slides in and gets a quick dragon pin for the win!

Pretty good match. It was probably a BILLION times better live, because the crowd was MOLTEN for Lethal. The commentary took away so much from this, and it’s all Tenay. First they babbled about other stuff, and then Tenay called every punch and hold in the same “excited” tone and it just came off as white noise. Take a breath! There’s so much chatter that it’s totally numbing. I really wish we could get a no commentary option on these shows. Tenay is just killing me.

Winner: Jay Lethal

LAX (Homicide & “Machete”?? vs. Old Age Outlaws (BG James & Billy Gunn):

– Billy Gunn did a piss poor job working with Homicide and Machete. BG James shake rattled and rolled and that’s about it. I don’t know much about the secrets of wrestling, but shouldn’t the veterans be expected to keep their matches at a certain level? It’s like Billy just decided to let the match suck.

– Machete looks like he does not belong in the ring on a JAPW show, much less a TNA PPV. And I don’t mean that as a dig at JAPW.

– After, Konnan runs from senior citizen Bob Armstrong. That is so terrible. LAX were booked like shit. Why wouldn’t TNA get a guy like Eddie Kingston for this? Who the hell is Machete?

Or better yet, bring back f’ing LOW KI. They say Low Ki is a “backstage hassle”, a guy who never wants to job, but you know what? Low Ki shouldn’t job for a while, anyway. The guy is awesome and you KNOW he is a major draw waiting to happen.

There’s two guys who need to be in TNA. One is Ki, and the other is Necro Butcher. TNA’s heavy scene is basically hardcore-style, and Necro is a GOD of hardcore. Not to mention the fact that he and Joe can blow the roof off the place in a singles match. CHOOSE DEATH.

Winners: WWE 1997

Another dumb Zbysko referee segment. What a waste of PPV time. I’d like to know more about Alex Shelley’s gimmick. I’d like to know more about Aries’ gimmick. I’d like to hear Lethal’s post match reaction. I’d like to see Jerry F’ing Lynn. Instead, we get a segment where Larry Zbysko says the same thing he said the last two segments.

NWA Tag Title Match – Sonjay Dutt & Chris Sabin vs. AMW©:

– Harris works over Sabin’s injured ankle. He tries to take off Sabin’s padding but he can’t get it over his boot. He keeps tugging and tugging, but it’s wrapped tightly under the sole of his foot, and ends up making it pretty much impossible for Sabin to run.

– This Sabin ankle beatdown is really boring. The crowd dies as a hot tag to Sonjay is teased.

– Man, James Storm is bad. He gets totally lost during a grapple with Sonjay, and Sonjay has to walk him through to his awesome flip neckbreaker thing.

– Sabin goes for a step-off DDT but Storm is barely able to swing Sabin around for the tornado.

– AMW wins with a slowly set-up death sentence. Crowd boos the finish and then has no reaction to AMW posing with the belt.

– After, Sonjay is handcuffed to the corner. Harris is about to hit him with the chair, but Sabin makes the save to little reaction.

That match died as it went. Probably a combination of too many tag matches in a row and really dull work by AMW. We come in expecting crazy ass spots from the X guys and instead we get excruciatingly dull isolation stuff.

A total mismatch. Storm can not hope to hang with the X Division guys.

Winners: AMW

Backstage, Quadruple J needs some mic time! Monty Brown pops in, and JJJJ says that when he beats Cage tonight, Brown gets the next shot.

This show is in a deep rut right now. Just an underwhelming event all around. Luckily for TNA, all it will take is another great performance in the X three-way for the show to be considered a success.

Why do they have to use Borash as Shane’s replacement as interviewer? Why not take a page from the WWE and use a hot chick? I hear they have So Cal Val there being wasted like Athena was as a ring coat girl. Why not let her do it? You know who should be carrying ring coats? Non wrestlers. Maybe Bob Ryder can stop giving blowjobs for a second and do something productive.

I know, that’s mean. But I’m sorry, blowjobs for pushes is sickening. Let’s put an end to wrestling sleaze. It’s 2006.

Falls Count Anywhere – Rhino vs. Abyss:

– Weird.. Rhino is usually over like crazy, but in the opening, Abyss has all the support.

– Early on, Rhino goes for an apron dive over the barricade, but decides against it mid-charge. Crowd didn’t hold it against him.

– Lots of ringside brawling, of which I am not a fan. Rhino blades after.. a garbage can shot. Sharp seams?

– Abyss goes to the side of the stage and sets up two tables.. and sets up two tables ON TOP OF THEM! It takes a while for him to set them up, but you know it’s going to be worth it.

– Rhino eats a chokeslam through a table in the ring! Abyss gets out the thumbtacks! Rhino GOARRR through a propped up table! That’s the exact same spot that they did in the Monster’s Ball 2, but it’s still awesome. Crowd: “This is awesome” chant.

– They climb into the crowd and end up above the 4 tables. Abyss actually tears off the side of the wall, so that there’s nothing but a ledge with the tables below. And at that point you KNOW Abyss is about to get gored and take a NASTY SPILL! And there it is! GOAARRR OH GOOD GAWD! Abyss goes right through all of the tables! Crowd poops themselves! Rhino covers for the win.

Ahh I love this kind of stuff! I wish the thumbtacks would have actually come into play, but that’s a minor, minor quibble. Awesome spots, Abyss is up for anything and I hope he gets rewarded for it at some point.

They weren’t able to hold the crowd’s interest in the first half, but once the tables came out it got real good. The camera angle on Abyss’ huge bump through the four tables couldn’t have been more perfect. Good match!

Winner: Rhino

X Title Match – AJ Styles vs. Chris Daniels vs. Samoa Joe©:

– Check out Larry’s report of this match for the gruesome details. It was nothing but good spots from start to finish, and somehow they avoided the “one guy on the outside” syndrome.

This was a good match, but this crowd is really weird tonight. They were actually chanting for Daniels in the beginning. It also felt like the fans wanted the action to slow down for a few minutes. I think all those mediocre tags have put this crowd in a bizarre mood.

Still, the fans were insanely into it toward the end. When the finish came, it felt a little abrupt. I would have liked to see a bunch more nearfalls before it ended. This was very good, but not as good as the first one. I’d say Larry’s rating of this at 4 ¼ stars is too high. This did not feel like a 4 star match to me.

Winner: Samoa Joe

Team 3D vs. Team Canada:

– I think they placed this match after the X Title match because Abyss/Rhino used tables. But that’s kind of messed up. You could actually argue that the X match should have been the main, and it certainly shouldn’t be below this. Heck, this is ABOVE the tag title match! This would have been much better in the opening slot.

– D Von is wearing a headband of bladejob protection! Once removed, he is magically busted open.

– Bobby Rude busts out his agonizingly dull arsenal of boot chokes.

– Right now this show is a THREE out of FIVE. Mostly due to the X title match, and the crazy spots in the Rhino match.

– Bobby Roode’s side-mounted headlock actually makes the Total Nonstop Action stop cold. And here I was in the midst of a 120 minute adrenaline rush.

– D Von is in peril. Ohhh the WWE style is representing big time here in TNA.

– It is 10:12 EST and this match is just a black hole of wrestling. The crowd is chanting like crazy, so it is working for them, but as a TV viewer I think that this match blows.

– Bubba gets the hot tag and gives some Scott Steiner-level injury distribution lariats. Then he follows up with some much more sensible suplexes.

– Roode whiffs on a move and then lands a hockey stick shot, but the crowd still doesn’t believe that 3D will lose. Bubba kicks. 3D is hit and 3D wins.

– After, AMW runs out and attacks. Ron Killings comes out to make the save and gives a guy a leg drop through a table. Looked pretty cool.

The crowd was flat as it went, with not much reaction to the finish. This was a boring and formulaic match.

Winners: Team 3D

Monty Brown doesn’t have a match. Does that mean he’s the guest ref in the main? Or will he run in?

Borash is in the back with Christian. He asks Christian what his thoughts are. Christian pauses, allowing the “CHRISTIAN” chant to erupt. He cuts a big promo talking about his career. He says that after JJJJ rolls out every cheesy cliché, Christian will win the title. “And that’s…” Crowd: “…how I roll”. Why do so few guys utilize catchphrases and crowd participation? Christian is able to get the most out of the crowd, while so many other TNA guys will talk or wrestle right through a burgeoning reaction and damage their own heat.

They play the Cage/Jarrett video for the millionth time.

Tenay runs down the tale of the tape, and dares to say that there is no glass ceiling in TNA! Ho hoo!

NWA World Title Match – Christian Cage vs. Jeff Jarrett©:

– So will Monty cost Jeff the title? Let’s see… IT’S TIME TO PLAY DEHR GAMEUHHHHH!

– Earl Hebner is the ref. DUN DUN DUNNNN. Will it be a montreal screwjob? The re-creations of that always work out so well.

– Should be interesting to see if these two, both skilled but dull wrestlers, can put together an exciting match.

– Jarrett no-sells Gail’s existence all the way through his entrance again. West says he think something is fishy with Hebner.. ohh no. Tenay says that Earl has always been very loyal to his employers. OH NOO.

– I can’t tell if Christian has on an “I’m gonna job” face or just a “this is a big moment in my career” face.

– Fans bust out a “Please retire” chant at Jarrett hahaha!!

– They start off with a face-off and it’s about 1/20th as exciting as the Hokuto/Kandori classic faceslap opening.

– We see Christian’s wife in the crowd and she is smoking hot.

– Things are going along OK in the beginning. Then it gets dull as Jarrett rolls out a headlock and a choke. He gets into it with Hebner, and Gail takes the opportunity to bust out a beautiful top rope rana on Christian. So wait, is she fired? Ah TNA, your logic is ever elusive and insulting.

– Christian looks exhausted 7 minutes in as he locks in a figure four and Gail illegally helps JJJJ break the hold.

– JJJJ locks in a sharpshooter and the announcers are scared that we’ll see another Montreal screwjob. Christian is in the hold for a long time. He reverses it and Jarrett makes it look awesome by elevating himself off the mat.

– Christian throws some awful punches which JJJJ sells in awkward fashion. Looked very fake.

– Really lame ref bump.Gail gets involved again and there’s a “Fire Kim” chant. Jeff hits a top rope stroke. By the time Earl crawls over, Christian kicks.

– Another dumb ref bump. Unprettier.. another ref slides in. Jarrett kicks out.

– Guitar shot… Ref eventually recovers and counts, only two! Crowd goes apeshit! Gail goes for another rana but gets PLANTED with a Christian powerbomb.

– They go into a reversal sequence, which is beautiful (if a tad slow) and ends in, yes, an Unprettier! 1, 2, 3! Christian wins! The crowd is shocked and freaks out!

Pretty good match. This crowd is so odd. They went hot and cold throughout this match. It’s like they’re expecting to be disappointed, so they are afraid to get emotionally involved. What annoys me about this match is that even with the “no shenanigans” promise, we still get the usual dumb gimmick shenanigans that we get in every Jarrett main event.

I think this match would be much more enjoyable to watch the second time around, knowing the finish.

Winner: Christian Cage

Christian holds up the title and is either holding in his emotions or he was lying about wanting to be the world champ. He kisses his wife at ringside, and gets back in the ring. Then.. The fans rush the ring! Was this planned? The fans are freaking out and fill the ring, and Christian smiles and holds the title high. We get an overhead shot to close out the PPV.

Overall, a pretty good show. The crowd was just so odd that it threw the entire PPV off kilter. The first half of this show was pretty bad. Heck, even the X 4 way was a disappointment. But Rhino and Abyss turned it around and the show was above average from there.

I would have regretted not ordering this show. Of course, this is TNA, so Christian’s reign will probably be handled just like AJ’s, but for now at least there’s hope. It’s a THREE out of FIVE.