Winfree’s MLW Anthology – Extreme Horsemen Review

Hey there everyone, I’m Robert Winfree and I’ll be reporting on the latest MLW anthology. Up this week is The Extreme Horsemen, something so derivative and painfully late 90’s to early 2000’s it might as well have Smash Mouth playing in the background. If you’re not aware, the Extreme Horsemen were a play on the 4 Horsemen but comprised of Steve Corino, Simon Diamond, CW Anderson, and Justin Credible though that fourth spot was in a constant state of flux, with JJ Dillon collecting a check to manage them. The group disbanded in 2004.

We open with some video highlights in case anyone isn’t familiar with the groups make up.

Match #1 – Florida Death Match: Steve Corino vs. Dusty Rhodes vs. Terry Funk (2002)

I assume the differentiating factor in a Florida death match as opposed to any other state is someone actually has to die and then be revived in order to win. Sorry, Florida jokes aside. Funk and Rhodes try to square off early on, keeping Corino in the corner where he’s happy to wait and let them go. Funk and Corino start double teaming Rhodes but Rhodes takes them both down with Bionic elbows. Corino and Funk are loosely allied against Rhodes, but Corino asks Funk to head out and let him take on Rhodes one on one. Corino gets Rhodes in the corner and unloads, then Funk introduces a trash can and Rhodes gets brained with it. Rhodes isn’t exactly mobile at this point in time. Funk and Corino double team Rhodes for a bit, then Funk blasts Corino with the can. Funk tosses Corino outside and chucks the can onto his head. Brawling around the ringside area now. Rhodes winds up nearly pantsing Funk, but that reaction lets Corino ambush Rhodes with the trash can again.

Rhodes takes more blows from the can on the outside, and he’s bleeding around the left eye now. Funk shows up with a chair, hitting himself in the head before smashing Corino with it. Rhodes back to life with an elbow for Funk then a chair shot for Corino. Rhodes has a new trash can now and lays into both Corino and Funk with it. Rhodes back in the ring, Corino is bleeding. Funk gets ambushed by Corino when trying to get back in the ring. Rhodes has a manure shovel and brains Funk with it. Corino comes into the ring again and Funk takes it to him with jabs but Funk low blows him with the shovel to cut him off. More trash can work, and Funk hits Corino in the throat with the shovel. Funk is bleeding, because why not at this point. On the outside Funk punches Corino down then gets tied up in an over turned barricade. Rhodes is in the picture again, he tosses Corino into the ring. Rhodes avoids a trash can shot, elbows Corino then looks for the figure four but bails on it when Funk shows up. Noggin knocker from Rhodes then a double Bionic elbow to both men. Funk rolls to the outside and Rhodes lays into Corino. Diamond and CW Anderson show up and lay into Rhodes. All three men attack the legs of Rhodes but Funk shows up and drives them off.

Funk checks on Rhodes, who’s doing a pretty good sell job. Other refs show up and help Rhodes to his feet then escort him to the back. Funk arms himself with a couple of trash cans then attacks everyone with them. Funk back in the ring but the numbers overwhelm him at that point. DDT from Corino and when the ref tries to get control he gets DDT’d as well. The three of them resume beating on Funk and Corino gets on top of Diamond, Anderson, with Funk on the bottom to get the three count.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Steve Corino pinned Terry Funk at about 12 minutes

Rating: 1.5 stars

I hate to be overly negative here, but this was garbage wrestling. Maybe that’s all you could expect in this situation given the participants at that time, but it was slow, directionless, bloody for no good reason, and mostly uninteresting. This was more about the moment of the XTREME Horsemen first coming together than the match itself. Post match the group resume beating on Funk in the ring then pose.

Another brief video package to set up our next clip.

They announce what’s coming next week, a look at Contra Unit.

Match #2 – War Games: Funkin’ Army (Terry Funk, The Sandman, Dr. Death Steve Williams, and Sabu, Bill Alfonso) vs. Extreme Horsemen (Steve Corino, CW Anderson, Simon Diamond, PJ Walker, Barry Windham) (2003)

There’s no ceiling on the cages, probably a concession to WWE who own the War Games IP. Starting us off will be Anderson and The Sandman with his kendo stick. The heels will have the man advantage going forward, per usual. Anderson attacks Sandman as he’s getting into the ring. Sandman takes his stick back after taking some blows and chases Anderson around with it. Anderson cuts Sandman off with a forearm blow. Anderson lays into Sandman, Sandman states a comeback with punches then gets his stick again but walks into a super kick. Anderson hits Sandman with the stick a few times, then Sandman counters him with a White Russian leg sweep. They brawl a little more until Sandman hits a suplex. Sandman locks in the Crippler crossface to incapacitate Anderson before the next participant enters the ring.

Steve Corino shows up with a small coil of barbed wire. Corino takes Sandman down with the wire. They pull the shirt off of the Sandman and then cane Sandman a few times. They keep double teaming Sandman until the next entrant shows up, and we’ve got Terry Funk. Funk brings his trademark branding iron with him. Funk lays into Corino with lefts then a chair shot, before throwing the chair across the entire second ring to land on Anderson. Funk attacks Corino while Sandman takes on Anderson. Pretty sure everyone is bleeding already. They double team Anderson while Corino is down. Then they double team Corino, Funk hits a piledrive onto Corino. Anderson with a bulldog onto Sandman. About then our next wrestler shows up, and it’s Simon Diamond. Diamond and Anderson double team Sandman while Funk and Corino work in the second ring. Sandman gets dropped face first onto a chair. Funk makes his way over and gets cut off. Diamond and Anderson take control before Corino shows back up with the kendo stick. The heels take it to the faces until our next entrant. We’ve got a Steve Williams sighting. Williams lays into all three heels. Diamond and Anderson are sent into the steel cage. Funk and Corino climb the cage as Sandman hits the Rolling Rock onto Anderson. Williams attacks Corino and Diamond for a bit. PJ Walker enters the match, and he’s got a ladder with him. Walker with a ladder shot to Williams. Sandman gets tossed into the ladder, the tosses Walker into the ladder. It’s breaking down now as we’re coming up on the final entrants. Funk uses the ladder to take down Anderson and Diamond. Sabu shows up next as our surprise entrant and he assaults the Horsemen. Bill Alfonso is on the outside with his whistle. There’s a table set up now. Williams presses Corino over his head and tosses him between the rings. Barry Windham shows up and is the last entrant so now the match can begin/end.

Windham in with rights and a piledriver to Funk. Alfonso says that this being 5 vs. 4 isn’t fair and he’s joining the Army. He does so and is immediately smacked down for his trouble. Right about then Sabut leg drops Walker through the table. Sandman with a kendo stick assisted choke on Windham. Corino has Sabu in a Boston crab, Anderson lands a super kick onto Williams to break up a similar crab hold. Funk gets a flaming branding iron then blows fire into Corino’s face. Funk with the spinning toe hold and Corino gives it up.

OFFICIAL RESULT: The Funkin’ Army defeated the Extreme Horsemen when Corino tapped out to Funk at 20:20

Rating: 2.5 stars

Very disjointed, these kinds of matches are hard to pull off when it comes to narrative cohesion so it’s hardly a giant mark against the match but it still should be noted. The production didn’t seem quite up to snuff for a match with these logistical hurdles to over come, and the layout seemed to barely exist beyond the finish. If you’re into the nostalgia of the relevant parties this might hold more value than it did for me.

Another reminder that Contra Unit gets the spotlight next week.

Thanks for reading as always. I’ll have a write up for that Contra Unit next around this same time.

4.0

The final score: review Poor

The 411

The subject matter and matches selected weren't really my cup of tea this week, and it showed. That said most of what took place was competent and the nostalgia bits might work better for others than they did for me.