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Wrestling’s 4R’s Friday Edition 01.23.09: RetRo Rumble, Raw and ECW on Sci-Fi Reviewed!

January 23, 2009 | Posted by Larry Csonka

How the 4R’s of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. On Tuesdays I will discuss TNA Impact and Jeremy will discuss WWE Smackdown. Also, if there is a PPV, that will be covered in this column as well. The column will run again on Friday’s, covering WWE Raw (with Jeremy Thomas) as well as ECW on Sci-Fi. If there is a PPV that weekend, I will also run the RETRO R’s of the show from the year before as well as address some comments when time permits. I will group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~! This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.



By: Jeremy Thomas

Raw 01.19.09

  • The Right:

    OVER THE TOP ROPE CHALLENGE: Raw started off with our semi-yearly “Royal Rumble Refresher” match, featuring Randy Orton, Kane, Santino, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. Orton got quite the reaction as he stepped out; he’s playing himself as a pure heel obviously, but a lot of fans are really reacting to his cool factor. This actually made Santino and his new beard the biggest heels in terms of crowd reaction, interestingly enough. Cody and Ted came out to a new theme song, and one I actually like better. It’s not as quick-paced as the old one, which makes it fit Orton’s theme a little better. Kudos to Mr. Johnston for that one. They got right into it, with Kane taking on the Legacy while Kofi and Santino went at it, and after we got done with the lights out FUBAR it picked right up. The spot where Santino tried to direct the Legacy was pretty amusing, although outside of that this was here strictly to do two things: remind us that Kane is good at eliminating people and putting the Legacy over. It did both quite well, and really sold the advantage Orton has going into the Rumble. While this was way, WAY short it worked well enough and didn’t actually seem rushed, so I’m okay with that. Short matches work, as long as they don’t feel too short. This one didn’t; it was just right, and I liked what I saw.

    ROSA MENDEZ: GLAMA-INTERN: Santino congratulated Beth backstage on her squashing of Triple K, and professed his surety that Beth was going to beat Melina at the Rumble. Thus, in anticipation he’d gotten her a present…Rosa! Rosa looked SUPER-HAPPY to be there, and Beth had the greatest “The Hell?” expression on her face. Apparently, Santino had set her up as a special intern. Start your Santino Clinton jokes now, ladies and gentlemen. Beth didn’t seem too pleased, but Santino begged to keep her like he was asking Beth for a pet at the store, and Beth said she’d think about it. After Beth left, Santino told Rosa she had an idea about how she could impress Beth, and they went off to talk about it. It was the usual comedy goodness from Santino and Beth, and I’m happy to see Santino back on track a bit after that whole mini-feud with Goldie. I’m not totally convinced that’s on the shelf, but it didn’t show up tonight and that works for me.

    LEGACY DRAMAZ!: Orton was backstage with Ted, giving him a pep talk and prepping him for the Royal Rumble when Cody came back. He told Randy that he’d heard that Sim and Manu were in Steph’s office earlier in the day and Steph was going to fire Orton tonight. Obviously, the Tattoo Killer wasn’t particularly pleased, and he stalked off to Steph’s office, interrupting her call with her babysitter to kiss some ass. He told her that she did the right thing by firing Jericho. Steph proceeded to tell Orton not to worry, she wasn’t going to fire him, then turned pissed as she told him to stop sucking up and get out of her office. Take a lesson, gentlemen…never interrupt a woman when she’s dealing with her kids. Obviously, Randall didn’t take this well, and pointed out that if anyone should worry about being fired, it’s Steph. He tossed some serious digs in at Steph, pretty much calling it like it was and saying she only had her job because she was Vince’s daughter and that without her name she’d be a complete nobody. Ouch. That earned him a hard slap from the GM, which Randy sold like a champ and acted like he was about to murder Steph before he turned and walked out. This was just great work by Orton and Steph, who play off each other even better then Steph and Jericho do. Some people have that chemistry when acting together, and while Jericho and Steph certainly have it, I think Orton and Steph have it even stronger. Awesome stuff here.

    CM PUNK vs. WILLIAM REGAL: This was the (hopefully) final match between the two for the Intercontinental Title, in Punk’s hometown. Yeah, this was looking good for the challenger. Punk came out with what was apparently the flag of the city and got an absolutely INSANE pop from the crowd. Not surprisingly, they love the Punk in Chi-Town. As Regal came down they recapped the last two matches, which were both DQ wins and were why this was a No DQ match for the belt. I’ve been saying for two weeks now that Regal and Punk can have a great match it they’re allowed to, and tonight they were allowed to as they went out there and busted their asses for seven minutes, which is a pretty good amount of time for a TV match. It started off slow, which while these two have been pretty heated over the last couple weeks I was okay with. It’s not like they’re in a blood feud at the moment. Besides, it picked up pretty nicely and they had a good, strong match that just kicked some serious ass. Both men looked strong throughout, Layla got involved enough to make the No DQ stipulation relevant and Punk got the clean pin to end the match. This was just great stuff and a nice change from the ‘E tradition of the hometown hero losing, and frankly I could watch Punk and Regal trade the title back and forth for months if they keep having matches like this and don’t do the kinds of stuff they did the two weeks before it.

    CONTRACT SIGNING MAYHEM: Following a recap of last week’s awesome HBK/Cena match, Lawler got into the ring to moderate the contract signing. Better than Vintage Cole, that’s for sure. JBL and HBK came down first, without the limo; it may just be me, but Shawn and Bradshaw are even starting to look more alike now that they’re in a business relationship. Cena hit the ring to a huge reaction, mixed as always; I don’t think that the Chicago fans have quite forgiven him yet for the whole Capone-esque entrance at ‘Mania 22. It was largely positive, though, so they’re on their way. Lawler actually did a fairly good job moderating; he can sometimes seem sort of lost when he does the in-ring segments, but he seemed all right here. Cena got right to signing, and then JBL took a moment to look over the contract before he signed on the dotted line and got the mike. He told Cena that it was just a matter of time until he was World Champion, to which Cena responded short and sweet: “You’re a scumbag.” Nice! He then turned straight to Shawn, only to be cut off by the challenger who reminded us all that Shawn’s only function at the Rumble was going to be to support him. Cena put JBL in his place and then turned back to Shawn and told him that he didn’t understand anymore due to their match last week, which was against not an employee of JBL’s but a match against the Showstoppa. Cena did a great job trying to appeal to HBK, telling him that we all love him because he’s the best at what he does and that he hasn’t lost a step, he’s still the man and can still make a living doing what he does. It’s no secret that I’ve hated this storyline during the opening moments, but it’s been getting better and I really believe this was the turning point for me. That’s right ladies and gents, I’m finally on-board with this whole angle. JBL played the great asshole heel here, and when Shawn cut JBL and told him to shut up, the crowd went apeshit. They’re waiting to see Shawn get back to being a badass, and that’s exactly the point of this all. Now, Shawn’s been iffy throughout this whole thing, staying in Sad Panda mode for far too long, but he did such a great job of selling his role tonight that I couldn’t help but give him props. Cena did his part well too as the angel on Shawn’s right shoulder trying to tell him to ignore that cowboy-hatted devil on the left. They’ve set it up beautifully to have Shawn turn on JBL at the Rumble, and that, my friends will be awesome. Just awesome work by everyone here, and the end attack gave JBL some real momentum going into the match, making it far more interesting than it would have otherwise been.

    RUMBLE HISTORY VIDEO: I always love the video packages that the ‘E puts together, but this one was just incredible. It presented some of the greatest Rumble moments of all-time (minus one, of course) and the voiceover detailing the statistics was really good at selling the importance of the match, as well as selling Kane and Rey Rey’s chances. We even got a WARLORD MOMENT with the shortest entrance of all time…awesome. This was just quality work all-around that sold the importance of the Royal Rumble in the scope of the WWE. It’s not often that they play with stats, but when they do they do it well, and this was one of those times.

    VINCE McMAHON MEETS DOLPH ZIGGLER: This was short, sweet, and absolutely tremendous; I couldn’t not give it some props. Dolph was actually talking to Candice and proving he can say something besides his name, talking about how he was in the Rumble. He turned around, and there was Vince! He introduced himself to Dolph with a smirk on his face, leaving Dolph utterly speechless. Vince essentially buried Dolph here while somehow putting him over at the same time, and I can’t not love that.

    HE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK: Of course with everything else on the show, the big thing we were building to here was the re-appearance after six months of none other then Vincent Kennedy McMahon. His music hit and the crowd just loved him. He did an exaggerated version of his swagger down to the ring, looking damn good in his suit and in top shape. He told us all that he was happy to be back, and promptly got to business by bringing out Chris Jericho. I’ll repeat what Rob said in the excellent Raw report, that Jericho should have come down without his music to sell the idea that he was a fired employee; it’s a little touch that would have done wonders. Jericho and Vince did some mutual fashion appreciation, and Jericho pointed out how he carried Raw while Vince was out, yet Stephanie fired him. They had a brief discussion about Stephanie’s job as GM, to which Jericho had a lot to say and resulted in Vince bringing Steph down. Points to Jericho for once again acting all superior and busting out the SAT words like “axiomatic,” “insolent” and “petulant.” Vince told Steph that they’d be running Raw together now, and that it was her call to give Jericho another chance. Steph got to play it off like only a McMahon can, lording it over Jericho a bit with that nice, sly grin on her face. This resulted in Jericho getting a serious comeuppance by having to degrade himself by apologizing to Steph and the fans. Jericho was absolutely incredible here, acting so disgusted by having to swallow his pride to get his job back, and Steph was playing it just beautiful by how much she was enjoying it. Some people might bitch that it buried Jericho’s character a bit, but this was just perfect and will give Jericho exactly the chance he needs to come back with a vengeance if they let him. We’ve talked a lot about how great Jericho’s been as a talker, and this was really the pinnacle of that. He did it so well and yet never betrayed his character for one single moment. It was so utterly insincere, we all knew it, Steph knew it, and Vince knew it. But the point was humiliation, a McMahon trademark, and as much as it seemed like Steph was playing the face it’s still completely heelish characteristics from her, just done to another heel and if she ends up staying heel then this won’t derail that.

    But wait, we weren’t done yet! Down came Randy Orton, still rubbing his cheek from that slap earlier in the night. Orton stepped into the ring with that slightly crazy look on his face and demanded that Vince tell Stephanie to apologize to him. Orton wasn’t as on as Jericho here in terms of the mike, but his was a just a touch more of a role then Jericho’s and he played his character just as beautifully. He really took it to Steph verbally and almost got Steph to attack him before she was directed to the back. Vince then got in Orton’s face and tore down Randy and his dad, demanding an apology. We got shades of the old Vince, the Vince with fire, and it was great to see. Points to him for using “wrassler” as a side note. Yes, it’s the old dig on Turner, but it was nicely done nonetheless. Orton refuses to apologize, so Vince threatened to fire Orton, which drew a warning from Psycho-Boy Randy. Vince then started to fire him, which resulted in this:

    Pure and utter awesomeness. Randy then sold the whole thing by realizing what he did after the fact, which is a great touch to his psychotic character; as great as Jericho was in the beginning, this was just fabulous and somehow managed to top it. Steph was playing it up for all she was worth (almost too much, and I still wonder if she’s behind this somehow), and Cody and Ted took Randy away as they tended to Vince. It was beautifully done and really left us with a cliffhanger like we haven’t seen in the ‘E for a long, long time. I’m not huge on main event interviews but this was so phenomenal I don’t know how you can’t love it.

  • puRgatoRy:

    REY REY vs. MOUNTAIN MAN MIKE: After several weeks of getting his ass handed to him, Rey Rey finally got his chance to take it to the man who’s been doing it. Rey came down first, wearing one of those skull over-mask things I hate. We then went back to Knox, who was caught up to by T-Grish. The gist was, he doesn’t have anything against Rey and has no reason for the constant attacks. I’ve got to say, I was shocked by how much I enjoyed that little interview. Mike was soft-spoken, not breathing heavily or trying to be super-intense, and it makes for quite the interesting variation on the monster heel so I’m intrigued. The match was your standard big guy vs. Rey match, with Rey trying to use his quickness in hit-and-run tactics followed by Mountain Man Mike hitting a big move to flatten Rey and take control. This wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t great either and felt like a rehash of better Rey/Monster Heel matches. The stupid DQ ending for not stopping the corner stomping didn’t help things, though I give them props for Knox catching the 619, which was kind of cute. I had too many problems with this to call it right, but there was enough that was intriguing here for me to leave it in puRgatoRy with hopes that the feud will improve.

    MIZ AND MORRISON vs. CRYME TYME: Well, this started off on a bad note, as we were denied the greatest entrance in professional wrestling today by virtue of Miz and Morrison already being in the ring. The tag champions picked it up quickly though as they said that they wanted to beat Duggan, the first Rumble winner, in commemoration. Props to Duggan for his personal place in history and MnM 2.0 looking like even bigger dicks then usual = WIN. Unfortunately we didn’t get Duggan; we got Cryme Tyme instead. They got the cheap MLK and Obama pop by mentioning them, to which Miz quickly and awesomely countered “I’m Republican.” Cryme Tyme demanded a title match, which gave Morrison the chance to call them worse then the Cubs. Cheap Heat! Cryme Tyme said that if they won tonight, they’d get a title match; if not, they’ll leave them alone forever. This was an awesome little bit between these two teams, whose feud I enjoyed at the time a couple months back, and set up the match nicely. The match itself would have been a great MnM 2.0/Cryme Tyme match, with both teams cheating to win, if it had been stretched out over more time. Instead we got a rushed, hectic and sloppy match that was less then two minutes long and saw Cryme Tyme get the win. While the match (to be polite) sucked pretty hard, the opening awesomeness was enough to keep it out of the Categories of Shame. Still, I expected more and, given enough time, it could have been.

    CODY, MICKIE AND GOLDIE: Cody was backstage talking to Mickie who was apparently trying to give Cody career advice. Personally, I don’t know how effective Mickie’s advice would be, simply because I’d be distracted by how utterly FREAKING hot she was here. Purple? Totally her color. After Mickie put Cody in his place, Goldust showed up to say hi. Goldie was playing serious for a moment, but it was all so they could shill the Starrcade DVD. There was some good stuff in terms of Goldie trying to pull Cody away from the Legacy, something they can maybe build on later if they want to, but mostly this was just a throwaway segment to up DVD sales. Not that I’m not okay with that, but it means it was just kind of there and didn’t do anything for me. Well, except Mickie anyway. Wow.

  • The wRong:

    TRIPLE K vs. BETH PHOENIX: The Tri-K came out first for this match, getting the cheap-ass pop with a Blackhawks crop-top…far from her hottest look ever. The point of this match was to get Beth over as an absolute monster going into the match with Melina this Sunday, and it certainly did that. That said, I had a few problems with this match. Problem Number One: in the opening moments, they did the collar-and-elbow lockup, and Beth got KKK on the ropes before she reversed it and held Beth there. …wait a minute. Kelly overpowered Beth, even for a moment? Yeah, right. Triple K looked her recent levels of okay-ish in the ring, except for a truly terrifying moment where it looked like she was finally going to botch that stupid-ass flip move. The ending came out of nowhere and didn’t seem like a natural progression. All in all, this match had too many problems and was too short to mean anything…and unlike the opening Battle Royal, this FELT too short. Better luck next time, ladies.

    JILLIAN HALL vs. MELINA: Okay, so do you guys want to know how much I love you all? Do you? I actually listened to that fucking song of Jillian’s not once, not twice, but THREE god damned times so I could figure out what it was. And still I couldn’t. I’ll admit, it gets heat from the crowd, but Jesus Hieronymus Christ, can’t they find some other way? Still, this got us Melina, who was as hot as ever, even if she didn’t get her full entrance. Props to Jillian for the miming of the camera shots to reference last week, and Melina played it off nicely with a look that said “Okay, I’ll give you that.” Unfortunately the match didn’t even come close to living up to expectations. It was short and ugly, with Jillian being her usual sloppy self as of late; she damn near dropped Melina with the sidewalk slam. This match did Melina no damned favors as she got something like two moves off and sold Jillian’s shitty offense the rest of the way through. Terrible match.

    After the bell was done, Rose rushed the ring and attacked Melina, allowing Beth to come in and take the challenger out. Beth was all sorts of pissed here and blew off Santino and Rosa on her way to the back, which makes an interesting situation. It should be interesting to see what happens at the Rumble, ‘cause I could see it going a couple ways now.

  • The Ridiculous:

    DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.

    The 411

    Another four-star effort from the Red Crew. The bad was REALLY short and they did such a great job hard-selling the pay-per-view. Steph, Orton, Vince, Shawn, JBL and Cena were all just awesome, and we got a great moment with CM Punk winning the IC belt in a great match on top of it. The events of Raw create an intensely interesting situation for the Rumble and next Monday, and as far as I’m concerned, they did one of the best hard-sell shows in a long time here.

    SHOW RATING: ****

    Comment Time with Jeremy!

    From Andy:
    Jeremy, may I suggest you change your name to Larry? It seems like the path of least resistance.

    You know, I’ve considered it. But in the end, I think I’ll stick to Jeremy. It’s sort of like in the ‘E, when Shane Helms becomes Gregory Helms because the McMahons have a monopoly on your first name. Besides, you gotta be original, know what I’m saying?

    From Mr Quimby’s Nitpicking Stick:
    “Three times now, in fact. I know I’m nitpicking, but it’s just kinda silly.”

    If you’re nitpicking, how come you’re forgetting Survivor Series? He lost to Edge in the WWE title match. You seem to be a beginner at nitpicking. I was able to nitpick your nitpick.

    And kudos to you for successfully doing so. Can’t believe I forgot that one…you da man.

    From Nicole:
    Hey JT,
    why do you think the E refused to give Victoria one last run? It can’t be because she didn’t fit that “look” b/c Beth sure doesn’t fit it. (neither does Michelle for that matter)
    In my wildest dreams, I just don’t understand it 😐

    There could be a lot of reasons; maybe they felt she wasn’t marketable, which doesn’t make sense to me because I think she could have been as marketable as any of the others. Maybe it was a situation of never the right time. If I had to narrow it down, I think that Victoria fell victim to what I like to call “the Venis Effect.” Victoria was riding high for a while during the Trish Stratus days, and she was hugely over as THE heel of the Women’s Division. Then, they turned her face which was (in my mind) a drastic failure and she lost a lot of her originality when her character was homogenized. They started to use her to put on as good of matches as she could get with lesser talent and try to get them over, and the more she lost the harder it became to build her up. Eventually she was simply there to put other people over and make the Women’s Division look as good as it could. It’s very unfortunate that she never got a chance to get another title reign, but she ended up with two fairly lengthy runs and while she may never be remembered the way Trish is and Mickie will be by casual fans, for some of us she’ll always be remembered quite fondly. Oh, and the Widow’s Peak is still one of my all-time favorite finisher from a lady in the ‘E. Just had to say that.

    From Chris Hynes via email:
    Is it just me or did the HBK-Cena promo seem like the complete opposite from the Jericho-HBK promo following Backlash? Where Jericho was quick to point out the fallings of the face HBK. Trying to prove to the crowd how HBK was a cheater, a man that could not be trusted, a man that would do anything to get ahead. A man that betray his partner or even his best friend and mentor if it would further his career or stroke his ego. Here Cena was trying to point out all the positives of the heel-aligned HBK. Trying to prove to HBK that he still had his integrity, that he still cared for and loved wrestling. To prove to HBK that he was fueled by his love of wrestling and his love to entertain the fans.

    You make a great point here, Chris, and it really did seem that way to me. One thing they’ve been really good at with HBK over the last year is keeping him drifting at various lengths away from the line between heel and face, and this was a great way to set Shawn up for turning on JBL at the Rumble. That’s exactly what I think is going to happen, and you described the interview perfectly. Nice catch!



    By: Larry Csonka

    ECW 01.20.08:

  • The Right:

    Hardy and SWAGGA~!: This week’s show kicked off with a Matt Hardy interview. They touched on the angle where Jeff got BLOWN UP on Smackdown and how he is dealing with that, and then moved onto his loss of the ECW Title. Hardy put over that SWAGGA was better than he thought he was, but before he could continue, Jack SWAGGA came to the ring, sporting a pimp suit, and looking like a champion. SWAGGA then said that Hardy couldn’t take anything way from him, including the ECW Title. He also said that in the end, when Hardy can’t take the title back, he will also go down in flames, like his brother. BURN…LITERAL BURN! This of course led to a brawl, with Hardy starting it because he was pissed. They got separated and SWAGGA ended it with a cheap shot to end the segment. I liked this because they are facing off at the Rumble, and they didn’t need a match on this show, even a tag, they already did that on Smackdown, where Hardy got a pin on SWAGGA. All they needed to do was get some heat and build the match, which they did effectively here. Thumbs up from me for the opening of the show.

  • puRgatoRy:

    John Morrison vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay: The main event was a “preview” for the Rumble, with the ECW guys already confirmed for the match facing off. John Morrison vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay, a sound strategy and four guys that have worked together enough to hopefully give us a good match. As I mentioned, this was a sound strategy, but in my opinion, poor execution. I really hate to say this, but in the end, it was nothing that great or memorable. The match was just a match, and really a bit disappointing if I am being honest. They only got about 6-minutes and it seemed very rushed. Perhaps dropping some of the video packages would have helped. But there was some good here. It was billed as a preview to the Rumble, because all of these men were in the Rumble match, and selling the PPV is top priority. The opening segment did this, and so did this match. The Morrison win is good because it gives him momentum, and out of the four, I love that, because I think Morrison may get the long run this year as a test. Also, the finish where he pins Miz is also good as it adds drama. Will they break up? Will they still work together Sunday? Or will Miz return the favor and eliminate Morrison in the match? In that aspect, the booking was excellent, so while the match wasn’t great, it wasn’t a total loss.

  • The wRong:

    Ricky ORLY?: I am very torn on Ricky Ortiz. On one hand I fully realize that he is NOT a good wrestler. I mean, this dude tries, but he isn’t good. But on the other hand, he has some charisma and has been getting over decently. But the main problem is that they have been start and stop with him. They had him rolling, stopped. He started again and lost to SWAGGA, which was the right call, but then stopped him again. The backstage segments with Tiffany have been useless as they barely do anything with them and never follow up on them, it is simply book booking. This week he has a squash match, and it was a painfully boring 2-minutes. Ortiz was on the offense the entire time, and while he does have the charisma, his lack of in ring skills really were exposed again as he did nothing on note to connect with the live crowd or myself. It felt like an eternity, and a 2-minute squash shouldn’t feel that way.

    The Boogeyman vs. Paul Burchill: Paul Burchill made the mistake of demanding a rematch with DJ Gabriel. Teddy Long didn’t appreciate this, and told Burchill he’d have an opponent for him. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this match was against the Boogeyman. It was a short match and was still painful to watch. Burchill was getting some momentum back as a performer with the Gabriel feud, and I hope that doesn’t get dropped, because all four (ladies included) need the feud. But they also need a break so it isn’t the same shit every week. But the Boogey man is a waste of space. As I have said before, Halloween has long been past us, so get rid of this guy because I have no use for him on my TV. I am sure he is a nice guy, and I am sure he tries very hard, but he hasn’t improved and the time could be better used to develop talent that actually has a future with the company. Burchill had upside as a very solid midcard dude that can deliver in the ring, and MAYBE he can become more, but matches like this won’t help him, unless they plan on having him destroy the Boogeyman. That is the salvation in this, so let’s hope that happens.

  • The Ridiculous:

    Nothing

    The 411

    Unfortunately we had a down week for ECW. The opening and closing segments did fine work in hyping Sunday’s PPV, but the wrestling was completely lacking on the show. Ortiz’s squash was just bad, and Burchill vs. the Boogeyman wasn’t anything I wanted to see. Last week they rebounded with a strong episode, but unfortunately backtracked down the scale for a show that was basically, not so good. Let’s hope that they get back on track next week.

    As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale. Also, PPV rankings can and will likely change through out the year:

    0 – 0.9: Torture
    1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
    2 – 2.9: Very Bad
    3 – 3.9: Bad
    4 – 4.9: Poor
    5 – 5.9: Not So Good
    6 – 6.9: Average
    7 – 7.9: Good
    8 – 8.9: Very Good
    9 – 9.9: Amazing
    10: Virtually Perfect

    SHOW RATING: 5.0


    WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2008~!:size=36>

    The Matches:

  • CAREER MATCH: Ric Flair @ 7:59 via submission *¾ TRASH of the Night
  • JBL defeated Chris Jericho @ 9:30 via DQ **½
  • WORLD TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Rey Mysterio @ 12:45 via pin ***
  • WWE TITLE MATCH: Randy Orton defeated Jeff Hardy @ 14:10 via pin ***½
  • ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH: John Cena won @ 51:45 **** MATCH of the Night!

  • The Right:

    JBL vs. JERICHO: To kick things off, our first point of discussion is JBL vs. Jericho. I though that this could be good if they went the brawl route. They both came to the ring and stared down with each other, and you could see the intense hatred they shared for each other. I was ready for war…and they locked up. FUCK. “JBL…I AM SO MAD AT YOU THAT I WILL GRAPPLE YOU TO DEATH!” To say that I was not pleased with the initial opening of the match would be an understatement. Thankfully the tide changed, and they kicked up the HATE-O-METER and things got good. Jericho would end up eating the steel post, and TAPPED HIM A GUSHER. Someone ate his aspirin Sunday. The blood flowed, it got more intense and I loved it because you could feel the hate. I do have to mention that they completely blew a bulldog spot, which the crowd shit on, but other than that both guys worked hard and looked good. As they brawled to the floor we got a DQ when Jericho killed JBL with a nasty unprotected chair shot to the head, and then in a bit of revenge, used some cable to choke out JBL. Some of you think you know me so well and figured that I would bitch about the DQ finish. Well sorry, but you’re wrong. I have said time and time again that in the right circumstance and when not overused, a DQ finish can and will work rather well. This was the right time. Chris Jericho wasn’t out there to win a match. Chris Jericho wasn’t out there to get a title shot. Chris Jericho wasn’t out there to put on a show and be wacky Jericho that we love. Chris Jericho WAS out there to get revenge. To get revenge on a man that choked him out and drug him around an arena full of fans like he was an animal. To get revenge on a man that talked to his children and called their father a coward. To get revenge on a man that made him feel like he was less of a man in his children’s eyes. Bottom line, Chris Jericho wanted to fuck a bitch up. If he won in the process, great, but when he got busted open the game changed and he only had revenge on his mind. He killed a man with a chair shot and then, while his own blood was pouring from his head got revenge and choked him out. So while not the best “match” ever (it was good), it was good enough to get where they need to go. I figure they get into the chamber match or go to another match, NO DQ next month and/or I still expect them to go to a bull rope match. This was good storytelling and I dug it.

    THE WORLD TITLE MATCH: And we came to the Word Title match, Rey challenging Edge in a match that we all knew Rey was losing. It isn’t that Rey sucks, but Edge is heading to WM and Rey was filler. The early moments were rough, as Rey botched a RANA ala the Chavo match from a few weeks back. But they would get things under control, the Rmy would be ejected and Rey would start to gain momentum. That ended when Edge kicked out his leg and then worked the knee. Rey would eventually make the comeback, and the last few minutes were really good, Rey got a big splash but a miracle would happen as Vicky would RISE from her wheelchair and pull out the ref. This led to Edge missing a spear, and Rey going for the 619. Vicky would get on the apron and take the 619 as she covered up Edge, which led to Rey going for a springboard something, but jumped into a spear and that was the match. Edge and the returning Rmy would check on Vicky and get her back to her wheelchair. I am waiting for the day when Vicky realizes that Edge is just using her, it has to come and then shit will hit the fan. This worked well but I did expect more.

    THE WWE TITLE MATCH: Jeff Hardy did challenge Randy Orton for the WWE Title on the show, and while Jeff was never planned to win, in recent weeks there had been a push backstage for him to win the title. The build was great, and while I didn’t think they would pull the title change, the possibility was there. There was doubt in my mind. They had a really good 14-minute match, and they played up the high-risk style of Hardy, and the fact that Orton was trying to keep him grounded. Jeff hit his shit, the crowd was into them and it was working. Near the end Hardy “hit” a moonsault to the floor, Orton had to walk into it to save it but that was the only flub in the match. The end saw hardy go for the twist of fate, but Orton got revenge from weeks ago and HE reversed it into the RKO for the win. Many people were upset that Jeff lost. Some feel that it was a “wasted push.” And to a degree the crowd was deflated, but I disagree that it was wasted. In five weeks they took Jeff Hardy from the always over, mid-card baby face and made people believe that he could win the title. They also got the emotional response when he lost. They know it can work, and now I feel that he has a great chance at winning MITB and challenging for the title down the line, maybe Summerslam. And it is there I think the victory is that much sweeter. Also, this match was a good match featuring both guys coming out looking good. Finally, Orton needed the clean win and he got it in a hard fought match. And then in hindsight, it makes even more sense because in storyline Orton put Cena out of action. They have unfinished business and with Cena returning they will go to WM. This was good stuff.

    THE ROYAL RUMBLE: The Rumble match is a favorite of mine, always has been and probably always will be. I have been in love with it since the very first one I saw, and look forward to it every year. Overall I though this year’s was great, although I have a few grievances I want to share. I hated that Shelton got a bitch run. They have been pushing him hard on ECW and he should have had a longer run ala Morrison. Speaking of ECW, Dreamer got jobbed hard in his hometown. I mean, can’t a brother buy a pity elimination? Also, why was Chavo in the Rumble? Oh yeah, because the ECW title is shit and no one would ever choose to challenge for that title. Finally, we all realize that Hornswoggle was never eliminated and that the Finlay elimination via DQ was bullshit. People have used weapons and jumped the gun before, and I cannot ever remember it happening before, the DQ that is.

    So now that I have that stuff out of the way, let’s move on. HBK and Taker kicked off the match, in a complete reverse of last year’s match. They lasted 32-minutes and put on a good show. HBK eliminated him, in return for last year’s elimination and then Kennedy tossed HBK, adding to that drama. I do believe that Bob Holly kicked HBK so hard that he is the one that broke his nose. Good job Bob. John Morrison also looked good in the Rumble, saving himself many times and drawing HBK comparisons from Christi, the commentary team myself and many others. He was made to look strong, and it can be performances like this that show you how the company views certain guys. So with Taker gone, I would imagine everyone was set in the belief that HHH was going to win, since he and Taker were the odds of favorite to win the match. HHH was going strong when he entered late at #29, and well, I figured he was winning. And before I forget, we even got LEGEND surprises. Sure it would have been nice to see Yang, Moore, Kendrick or some others in the match, but they would not have gotten the pop that Snuka and or Piper did. Yes they looked 87 years old, but they are both institutions in Madison Square Garden and the place popped like it was 1984 for them. You can also tell a lot of the guys respect Snuka, because they all sold for him, EVEN Taker! He and Piper had a fun old man brawl, and I loved watching the guys sit back, watch and mark out. Especially Punk and Morrison, who I believe forgot they were in a match for close to 10-seconds as the TALKED and marked out for them. It was fun, and those wacky moments that we usually get in the Rumble match. We also got a HHH/Foley encounter, which was fun as hell.

    So it comes down to #30. I wasn’t expecting a surprise of any kind, maybe Big Show since HHH was #29 and they could play into screwing him out of the match. Or maybe they were working us with Lashley was another thought. And then the music hit, the crowd POPPED, and do not mistake, they popped huge and John Cena made his triumphant return to the WWE. They did it. They swerved everyone and they set us all up. Cena gave interviews and said he wouldn’t be back for WM in an in ring capacity and we had no reason to think he was coming back. And if you say you thought he was coming back at the Rumble to wrestle, you’re a liar. Some are wondering how he came back so quickly, some are judging and accusing, but we’re not going to discuss that here but I WILL discuss it in the news column, so stay tuned to that. I have to save some material! The fact is that he was back, HHH looked as if he was about to shit his pants and it was an awesome moment. He came in, kicked ass and in the end it got down to he, HHH and Batista. They did some teasing of alliances, but in the end they just fought. Batista was gone first, and we were down to HHH and Cena. This is when the crowd went back to realizing that it’s cool to hate Cena and the men were back to hating him and booing while the women and children loved him. Cena would complete the comeback, win the match and now appears to be headed to WrestleMania and a date with revenge against Randy Orton. In hindsight the Orton title win makes sense even more due to the history and the fact that Orton is the one credited with taking Cena out. Also, with the #30 winning the Rumble two years in a row, it now helps add the importance to the number, which had been a joke in years past. I love that I was surprised, because it doesn’t happen all that often these days. Many people were saying things before the Rumble like, “I want a real surprise” or “Anyone but HHH to win.” Well kids, be careful what you wish for, because you got it. We got swerved and it was fun, enjoy it. Overall this was a great Rumble match that I really enjoyed. One last thing to mention, so thanks to DJ for sending this along: You wrote in your coverage that HHH pointed at the WrestleMania sign, and Cena clapped at him–I think Cena was doing the tapping motion, reminding HHH that The Champ made the King of Kings tap at Wrestlemania 22. I believe you are correct kind sir, great eye and thanks!

  • Purgatory:

    FLAIR vs. MVP: The Rumble kicked off with the Career match between Flair and MVP. I liked that they gave Flair mic time, as he addressed his history in MSG, and what it had meant for him over the years. Before he could go further, MVP’s entrance began and Flair was cut off. A far as the match goes, there are times when Flair in old man Flair, and times when he is Ric FUCKING Flair. Tonight…he fell somewhere in the middle. They both worked hard, and the match was far from bad, but wasn’t all that great. I feel that they could have benefited from a few more minutes, a better pace and chance to tell the story so to speak. But they did a good job of giving MVP a visual pin off of the Kawada kick, but Flair had the ropes and was saved. In the end Flair would counter the Playmaker and get the figure four for the win. That being said, while it wasn’t a great match there was good news here to talk about. First of all it accomplished what an opener should do, and that is excite the crowd. They loved the Flair win, and that made for a good crowd reaction. Also, while 99% of people knew Ric Flair would win the match, most felt that Matt Hardy would run down and cost MVP the match, and play into their feud restarting. Hell I was almost certain of it, but WWE threw us a curve ball. They did the tease of MVP winning, but Flair finally avenged his loss to MVP from Vengeance with the figure four. The big thing is that Vince had not wanted to give Flair clean wins, but that is something that he needed to make this angle mean something. And while I don’t think that MVP needed to lose, we can chalk it up to him being overconfident and thinking he had the match “in the bag.” With his constantly cocky attitude, it does make sense. This wasn’t bad, but wasn’t that good either.

  • The wRong:

    SANTINO/ASHLEY/MARIA BULLSHIT: Listen, I like hot chicks, I think Santino is funny, and yes some of you were right. I just feel that there are some things that do not belong on PPV. Much like Pizza eating and drinking contests, I don’t need this on PPV. I don’t need bullshit hype about Playboy and I don’t need the big fat naked oily guy out there with rubber chickens. I feel that it SHOULD NOT have been on PPV. People do not pay $30 to see a drinking contest, just like they don’t spend $40 on a pizza-eating contest or shit like this. Maybe, maybe we could have had people that cut good promos, cut good promos. Maybe we could have concentrated on the in ring a bit more. Unless it is perfectly played or blows me away, I just do not like this stuff on PPV. Sorry kids.

  • The Ridiculous:

    NADDA~!:

  • Closing Thoughts:
    I thought that the PPV looked good going in, but when all was said and done they threw us some curveballs, and it was a great surprise. The title matches were good, Flair got the feel good moment, JBL and Jericho ended in a bloody brawl and Cena shocked the world returning to the company and winning the Rumble in a moment most will not forget, for one reason or another. Overall I will go with a 8.0 out of 10 for the show. I thought I would go higher, and I think I did in the podcast, but upon reflection, I think the rating is good. While some things underachieved, and for a while I was getting an average feeling, things were far from bad and the Rumble delivered big time in my opinion. I loved the show as a whole and now the road to WrestleMania in underway and it is not the same route that we thought it would be, and I am all for that.

    And I’m out of here!

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    Larry Csonka

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