wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4R’s Friday Edition 05.08.09: RETRO Judgment Day, Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi Reviewed!
How the 4R’s of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. On Tuesdays I will discuss TNA Impact and Jeremy will discuss WWE Smackdown. Also, if there is a PPV, that will be covered in this column as well. The column will run again on Friday’s, covering WWE Raw (with Jeremy Thomas) as well as ECW on Sci-Fi. If there is a PPV that weekend, I will also run the RETRO R’s of the show from the year before as well as address some comments when time permits. I will group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~! This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
By: Jeremy Thomas
Raw 05.11.09
MARYSE & JILLIAN HALL vs. MICKIE JAMES & TRIPLE K: You know it’s nice, after all that pre-draft stuff had kept the K’s lost in the shuffle, to see her in the ring again over the last couple of weeks. Before we got to that though, Maryse game down to the ring looking lovely in red as always, and she got on the mic to speak some French. She switched to English and said that if she wasn’t Maryse, she’d want to be. Lawler responded that if he loves all things French, and I expect Sean Hannity to call Lawler un-American on his next show. Mickie and ‘K came down to the ring after that and they came right down into the tag match with Jillian and Kelly in the ring. These two have worked a fair amount against each other, and Kelly’s added a few new acrobatic moves to her repertoire, which is nice to see; it hopefully means that the stupid foot catch/backward flip spot is done with. Maryse took control quickly enough and slowed things down, controlling Kelly while talking smack to Mickie James who had beat her last week. Kelly got the quick tag and rocked the house from there, nearly getting a three-count before Jillian broke it up which brought in ‘K to take the wannabe singer out. Mickie then hit the DDT to get the win over Maryse for a second week and become the clear favorite to be Maryse’s first title defense. You know what, no one fucked anything up and there wasn’t even any awkwardness in the match, Maryse came out looking strong against Kelly who showed she’s continuing to improve, and Mickie got the clean win to pretty much become the #1 Contender. The Butterfly Title scene is currently being booked better then the ‘E Title scene. How sad is that?
CHAVO IN CHARGE PART II: Chavo was backstage with Vickie and buttered her up, telling her how she handled Orton and Batista was exceptional. He then told her that even though Cena wasn’t medically cleared, he had been talking to Show and they thought he should be forced to compete tonight in an exhibition match strictly to show he wasn’t milking his injuries. Vick thought that was a brilliant idea and booked Cena against the Miz. This was short and sweet and furthers the angle where Chavo’s trying to be the booker for the show through his family member. Anyone else see an 80’s-esque commercial where Chavo screams at the Game “You, all right? I learned it by watching you?” I kid, I kid…mostly. Anyway, this is a situation that has me intrigued to see how it’s going to play out, and it’s nice to see Chavo doing something besides being Vick’s abuse-toy.
JOHN CENA vs. THE MIZ: Before this match started the Big Show made his way down the entrance ramp. He made a slow walk to the ring, then walked right past to take a seat at the announcer’s table so he could get a better look. I will say this, the scared-shitless look on Michael Cole’s face was pretty good. Cena got his usual heavy crowd reaction as he came out, throwing glares across the ring at Show, and yeah, we pretty much knew where things were going from here. The Miz came out to the ramp and got on the mic on the way toward the ring. He mocked Cena and said that Backlash and the Show beat-down from last week was nothing compared to what he was going to do to Cena. He mocked 12 Rounds again—deservedly so—and then knocked his rap album too. I love Miz on the mic these days, he’s just ON constantly. We didn’t even have a referee or a bell, which I suppose was supposed to sell the “exhibition” portion of the match or something, and we got into the match. Cena did some mat-wrestling in the opening moments before Miz fought back, hitting a few suplexes and a running clothesline. I know they were booking this as Miz being dominant only because Cena was injured, but whatever the reason it was a great way to help try and elevate Miz higher up the card. Eventually he missed a corner move and Cena hit his trademark five move combo, setting up for the Attitude Adjuster before Vickie got on the ‘Tron to stop the match and say he had no chance against Show; that distracted him enough for Miz to hit a DDT and proclaim himself 3-0. Sure, the match was nothing special at all but this did worlds of good for the Miz’s credibility and I was more than happy with it; it’s funny how people like ‘H, Batista, Taker and more end up protected, but Cena lets himself be laid out by a midcarder. Great booking here and I was more than satisfied, especially since Show didn’t actually get involved so Miz did this all on his own other than the Vickie distraction.
OF PIGS AND LESBIANOS: Backstage, Vickie and Chavo were celebrating their moral win over Cena when Santina came in to mock Vickie’s catch phrase. Vickie asked if Santina called her swine-like, but Santina said it was Santino, not her. For the record, I hate it when people on wrestling shows act ignorant to things that happened on-camera the week before. If Chavo had told Vickie about it, couldn’t she just review the tape to see if it was the case? She is the GM, after all. Anyway, she asked Beth and Rosa to come in to prove that Santina isn’t Santino, and told Rosa to give Santino a good luck kiss for “her” match. Rosa did and then we got some HLA as Santina grabbed Rosa and made out with her. Well, nice to see that the Bisch’s promise to bring lesbians to Raw was made good, albeit seven years after the fact. Santina came out of the closet and then mocked Vickie with some pig noises before smacking Rosa’s ass and leaving. See, once again the ‘E is figuring out how to do comedy segments decently, because this didn’t bury anyone at all and was pretty legitimately funny. As for the match…well, we’ll get to that in a minute.
THE MVP LOUNGE/MATT HARDY & WILLIAM REGAL vs. KOFI KINGSTON & M.V.P.: The U.S. Champion came out to bring the M.V.P. Lounge back to the WWE, and to Raw for the first time ever. He brought up William Regal getting involved in his business last week and called him out to the Lounge. Regal came down with a slightly-nicer robe than usual, telling Montel that he had no business coming onto Regal’s show. He brought up the King of the Ring and reminded us how he was unjustly removed as the GM on Raw, then pointed out how M.V.P. and others had tried to jump over Regal to the top of the card. Montel said he wasn’t waiting his turned and pointed out that he was United States champion, which allowed Regal to rip on the USA and get the crowd riled up as always. They looked were about to go at it until Matt Hardy came down to air his own grievances about being forced to compete with a hand that’s broken in three places and his loss to Kofi last week should be erased. Hardy told Regal he needed to wait his turn, because Hardy had beaten M.V.P. more than anyone and Hardy should be the first person with a US Title shot. Kofi then came down to jump Matt from behind as revenge for the cast shot post-match last week, and Chavo came out to book a tag match between the four. This segment did a nice job of positioning Regal, Matt and Kofi as potentials in the hunt for the U.S. Title, which is what I assume they’re going for.
After the commercial we had the match joined in progress (which still pisses me off), which was easily the match of the show. It was an interesting mesh of styles, with Kofi starting off strong before Matt nailed Kofi with the cast to let Regal take control. They then took turns and used tags to dominate Kofi and keep him from making the tag, with Matt’s offense being limited by his awesome selling of the broken hand (yes, I’m willing to be certain it’s a work finally) but still doing well enough and Regal delivering his typically solid offense. Kofi sold well for the duo and kept kicking out to show his spirit, eventually making the hot tag to Montel to let him come in and take it to Regal. The booking of the finish was pretty good, with Kofi kicking Matt right in the broken hand and then getting tossed out before M.V.P. took advantage and got the Playmaker for the win because Regal had no one to tag to, giving M.V.P. the big win. Good stuff here, and nice to see they have plans for these guys.
WWE RESTRAINING ORDERS AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE: Raw started off, after the typical massive pyro opening, with the WWE Champion himself Randy Orton making his way to the ring with Priceless flanking him. Lawler called him “the most dominant star in the WWE today” and Vintage Cole agreed; insert your own joke here about how he needed Priceless’s help to beat Shane. Orton then started off by saying that the McMahons pride themselves on listening to what the fans want. At this point I was half-expecting to see Carlos Mencia in the crowd stealing Orton’s lines for his next show. Orton gave a pretty damned decent promo here, trashing the fans for being cowards and talking about how we all pay to live our lives through people like him. It was nothing particularly original, but it was well-delivered at least. We then got a typically excellent recap video of Orton putting Shane out of commission last week, then talked about how the company revolved around him and GM Vickie had put a “no touchie” clause against him and Batista until Judgment Day. Orton called the Manimal down to the ring, and Batista came out to a damn hot crowd. Orton started to talk smack to Batista about how he was never going to win the WWE Championship, which started a nice little “You Suck” chant from the crowd. Orton wasn’t all bad news, though…in fact, he was offering Batista an opportunity! Batista could join Legacy. Yeeeah, that’s not happening it looks like. Ted then told Batista that getting kicked in the head was the best thing to happen to his career, and the same thing could happen for Big Dave. Orton brought up Evolution and said ‘H was the only thing holding them back then. He said that Batista joining Legacy would make the group bigger than the Horsemen, DX and Evolution, then compared Batista to Arn Anderson. I tried not to gag there, and mostly succeeded—don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Batista but he is NO Double A. Batista’s response was really good, telling Orton that he was making a lot of sense, but Big Dave just didn’t like hated LOATHED Orton. Orton flipped out then and said that if there was no anti-touching clause he’d be all over Batista, who responded by saying he didn’t care about Vickie’s rules. He stumbled through at this point, as he is wont to do from time to time—seriously, we can’t get Dave to relax and work his way through his lines naturally? How hard is that? Every time he does it, it makes him look bush league, and no matter how over he is with the fans I can’t take him seriously when he can’t get his lines right.
This brought out Vickie, with the Man behind the Throne Chavo by her side. Vickie took exception to being called predictable. She waved the night’s “no touching” rule and said she didn’t care what they did to each other, the title match would take place on Sunday no matter what. She booked Batista against Priceless, and if Batista wins then Batista took on Orton one-on-one; if not, then it was the entire Legacy versus Batista. Gee, glad we spent five or six minutes talking about a stipulation that was waved within the first fifteen minutes of the show. Vickie’s wonky booking is coming across looking much like Adamle Originals, and that’s not a good thing. Orton started this segment off strong but Batista and Vickie drug it down—not nearly enough to be a total wash, but certainly out of the Right.
BETH PHOENIX vs. SANTINA MARELLA: Beth came out first for this match, followed by Santina who was still rocking to the Billy & Chuck theme and the Miss WrestleMania sash. Amazingly, Santina was getting a chant from the crowd. I don’t even know what to say, except to give Santino credit for really throwing his all into this gimmick and character to make it work despite the silliness of the whole damned thing. Hell, at this point I would love to see them somehow make it so Santina and Santino really were two separate people. How much of a swerve would that be? The match here wasn’t anything to speak of, and was most impressive for Beth pressing Santina over her head for several moments. It was short and had Beth dominate the match, only to have Santina roll Beth up for the win. This one actually didn’t bug me as much as the last time Beth lost to Santina, because it did let Beth do some impressive work and control the match before Santina did the roll-up out of nowhere, so it at least didn’t totally bury Beth. Once again, Santino is making me buy this whole thing when he’s been given shit to work with, and he deserves all the credit for it.
BATISTA vs. PRICELESS: To start with this match was joined in progress, which does make sense considering it was going off the segment that occurred just before the break; I just hate “joined in progress” matches and at least like to see the match begin. That being said, the match did start off decently enough with Cody and Ted taking control quick enough and using quick tags to keep Batista on the mat. Big Dave did come back a few times, and I will admit again that the crowd was really into this match to see Big Dave lay a beating into the Priceless members. The problem is that this match got absolutely no time, ending about four minutes into what we saw of the match, thus giving it any time to really get started. The match had no real story to it and that seriously hurt it as a result. Add in that it had a remarkably dumb ending, and you have a loser of a match. Don’t get me wrong, it was smart when you consider things in character from Cody’s end to bring the chair in so Batista would get DQ’d, but it just makes Dave look stupid. He keeps screwing things up between accidentally putting ‘H out and all of his DQ losses, and it’s killing his character’s credibility. This just sucked, and I was really not happy with it.
CARLITO vs. THE BRIAN KENDRICK: Carlito came down to the ring with Primo at his side and the Unified Tag Team Titles around his shoulder—I love how they’re still using both title belts, it reminds us that they are double champions, a la unified titles in other companies and in boxing. TBK came down to the ring next wearing a Village People cast-off sleeveless leather jacket, and pretty much dominated the match except for a few brief moves by Carlito to pick up the win in under two minutes. Oh my God, is TBK out of the doghouse finally? He then said that this win was Step One, finding “THE” partner with be Step Two and winning the titles would be Step Three. This could have been a perfectly fine match if they’d had more than two minutes, but there was just no time for them to get anything going. The match was rushed and ended prematurely, and as a result I can’t approve, even if I’m happy they’re putting a bit of a feud around the Unified Tag Titles.
LEGACY GETS STUPID: Josh Matthews was backstage with Orton asking him about the handicap match, and the Tattoo Killer started to talk before Ted came to interrupt and say Cody was “gone.” Obviously, this didn’t make Orton happy and he asked where Batista was before heading off with Ted. They later split off and Orton found Cody, then went back to get Ted only to find him laid out and repeating “Batista” again and again. Hey, we don’t know it was Dave…maybe he just got hit on the head and keeps repeating the one thing that was on his mind. A little bit later Cody and Orton talked about Batista backstage and Orton sent Cody to find Big Dave and take him out. Yeah, that’s really smart Randy. We then found Cody backstage with a big-ass lead pipe in hand, which didn’t do him very much good as he was about to use it on someone from behind a door before it turned out to be Hornswaggle. That allowed Big Dave to sneak up and grab Cody, pulling him into the closet. Hopefully he didn’t have any Heidenreich-like plans there. Really, this is the best they got for us? They have Big Dave lose so a main event is set which is bait-and-switched so that we get the match we would have gotten if Batista had beaten Priceless? Ted and Cody didn’t gain anything from that win anyway, so why not have Batista beat them so we could have not wasted all this time having him wipe out the duo and put that toward some of the matches? Ohhh, right…because that would make SENSE. And we certainly wouldn’t want that on Raw, would we? This whole thing has made Orton, Ted and Cody just look stupid and it pisses me the hell off, so sorry if I’m not giving this shit a pass.
DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.
BATISTA vs. RANDY ORTON: At the end of the show Orton came down to the ring alone with a mic, telling Batista that he’d made his point and there was no good reason for them to beat each other up six days before their title match. he said he was going to leave, but Batista wasn’t down with that idea and he walked right down to the ring. We knew this wasn’t going to be a long or clean match, and it sure as hell was neither, nor was it good. Batista clotheslined Orton who rolled out of the ring and tried to get away, it went back in so they could hit a couple spinebusters in a row, then grab a chair and nail Orton for the DQ win. So that’s our main event? Greaaaat. Batista pounded the shit out of Orton with the chair and then slammed the chair directly into Orton’s ankle three times, once with the edge and twice with full-on chair shots. Worry not Orton lovers, because apparently Orton is Wolverine and his healing factor allowed him to slip out of the ring, suddenly be all better and COMPLETELY FUCKING NO-SELL the ankle shot. Priceless came back down, also no-selling the supposed injuries they’d received from the Manimal, and saved Orton only to get laid out. The show ended with Dave standing tall in the ring and Legacy destroyed. This was a nothing match and a fucking stupid beat-down after the match; the no-selling of Orton had me utterly gaping, and it was only more ridiculous by the way he overplayed it once he was back out of the ring. Retarded doesn’t even begin to cover it. Layla, what do the SmackDown crew think of the way the main event Raw feud is being booked?
I’m right there with you.
| The 411
You know, strictly by counting the Rights vs. puRgatoRies vs. wRongs and so on would make one believe that this wasn’t that terrible of a Raw, but this is one where the numbers don’t do it justice. I’m happy that the Miz came out looking strong, I’m glad that Santino’s managing to make the comedy shit work and I’m happy they’ve found something for the people on the cusp of the upper-midcard to do. But the main event angle just ran this show into the ground. I’m finding myself dreading Raw every week because it’s just getting stupider and stupider, and I don’t imagine that ‘H will be gone for too long which means we’ll get his revenge soon. The last show I rated below two stars had half of it talking about Axxess; this is the first full-on show to earn such a rating, and it damn well deserves it. Ugh. SHOW RATING: *¾ |
Comment Time With Jeremy~!
From AHAHAHAHAHA:
“Some people are noting that Gail is getting slid a bit down the totem pole”
AHAHAHA, I have problems, I lost it at that point.
I thought after the fact that someone might make a comment about that. I actually didn’t mean it in the double-entendre way, but nice to see I’m entertaining people in any case. Ya weirdo.
From KanyonKreist:
Maybe if we close our eyes and click our heels together, Chris Jericho can magically fly out of Smackdown’s nebulous upper-midcard.
Actually, it seems as though half of Smackdown’s marquee names ARE upper-midcard guys (Jericho, Jeff, Punk, Rey, Khali…) It’s not like on Raw, where you’ve got a crystal clear distinction. I’m not saying either way is better, but I’m starting to get excited about Raw’s stacked midcard, especially after the beginnings of a race for a U.S. Title shot tonight. Contrarily, I’m gonna go ahead and guess that Mysterio/Jericho at Judgment Day is gonna be non-title. That’s too bad, because there are a whole bunch of guys who could get a good rub just by putting in a competitive losing effort against Rey on payperview (Benji, Ziggler, etc.)
I too am happy to see a U.S. Title race on Raw, Kanyon. Which is good, I need SOMETHING to look forward to on that verdammt show. As for the Upper midcard feel on SmackDown, I think that’s because of the attempt to create distinct brands; Raw is the “superstar” show, SmackDown is the “great wrestling” show and ECW is…well, ECW. Sure, most of the Blue Brand guys do seem to be “on the cusp” folks but without the Raw folks there they’ll have the chance to become main eventers, and thus the ‘E can create some new stars. I think the IC Title will be on the line for Judgment Day although I could be wrong…we’ll see.
From DGT loves Arm Wrestling:
I have to disagree that Arm Wrestling is never EVER good. There is one exception. Scott Steiner vs HHH. Sure the rest of the feud and title matches sucked but the arm wrestling segment was gold! Seriously!
I’ll take your word for that one, DGT, because I think I’ve mentally blocked out most of the Steiner/’H feud…easier on my sanity. the only thing I can’t forget is their terrible PPV matches which are cringe-worthy by any definition.
From Shockmaster:
SO WHO’S THE FACE OF SMACKDOWN AGAIN?: When Teddy was building up to announcing Rey, he said “The Intercontinental Champion” and the crowd had no clue who it was. When he said “Master of the 619” they popped, so it wasn’t for lack of excitement. That should set off an alarm if WWE actually cared about any but their top two titles. As for Jericho’s heat, it’s cheap heat that plays well to marks so it’s smart business to keep doing what works. That doesn’t make it any less stale to me, but since I don’t have a million clones they don’t really need to care what I think. Unless we’re counting Hornswaggle, Rey is the smallest man in the business and there’s no way he can knock down a 225 pound man with one shove. That just looked awful.
JOHN MORRISON vs. CHARLIE HAAS: The half hearted face turn got me thinking. This turn is because SD is heel heavy. We hear most successful characters are an extension of the guy’s personality. Is it just easier for most of the roster to act like jerks? Large portions of the crowd hate Cena, Hunter plays more of a tweener (“I’m not a nice person”). Finlay constantly cheats. HBK routinely acts heelish to battle faces. Kennedy and MVP both made far better heels to me. Shades of grey are one thing but the art of playing a babyface seems to be getting lost.
JEFF HARDY vs. CHRIS JERICHO: Case in point. Rey costs Jericho the match, then attacks him after without provocation. How is that playing a face?
EDGE vs. CM PUNK: And here we have the face Punk, not challenging Edge outright, but threatening to steal the title if he happens to win.
Jeff Hardy, Batista and Kofi Kingston are the only guys I can think of who are playing pure babyfaces with clear success right now. And even Batista heels it up with excessive force now and then. Are fans’ tastes changing or are most of the faces simply not believable unless they’re edgy?
You know, you make a good point about the heat for the IC Title vs. the heat for the 619, and hopefully the ‘E will take notice. They’ve actually done a pretty tolerable job building the U.S. title, and in the SmackDown Creative Team’s hands I think the IC belt has the same chances. As for Rey knocking down Jericho…well, if you’re going to have Rey competing against main eventers, you have to make him look like he’s a threat. Believe me, I’ve seen 175 pound guys shove over 225 pound guys. Rey’s one of the most popular faces they’ve got, and we have to accept he’s going to look competitive to guys like Jericho, so I think we just have to get used to it. As for the art of playing the babyface, you make a really good point again. I think that “pure” babyfaces are a lost art form for the most part, muddied by the days of the Attitude era and really just sort of left behind. I think M.V.P. was a better heel than he is a face, but he’s doing the face turn well and comes across more face-ish then most; the tghree you mentioned play faces pretty well, and there are a lot of Divas who are pure faces if you want to count them. I don’t think Punk counts as a heelish face because if he does win then he’s following the rules by cashing in right after, but I can see the merits of your argument. I prefer the non-black and white myself, but I also know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
By: Michael Bauer
ECW 05.12.09:
– Mark Henry defeats Tommy Dreamer via Pin at 4:50 [*1/2]
– Finlay defeats Tyson Kidd via DQ at 9:50 [**]
– Vladimir Kozlov defeats Chad Collyer at 1:00 [1/2*]
KIDD vs. FINLAY AND THE HART TRILOGY IS BORN: So we get the rematch between Finlay and Tyson Kidd, just with Natalya barred from ringside this week. The match overall was not as good as their match two weeks ago, but it was still a fine match. Now, this was all set for PuRgatoRy until this boot comes out of left field and knocks Finlay on his ass. Now, I will say that this camera angle was PERFECT! You never saw David Hart Smith coming and didn’t even see his face until he starts wailing on Finlay. What also helped was Striker on commentary. He puts over Smith’s pedigree, the Hart Dungeon, etc… like he is a master. I’m sure I like Finlay battling back, but they quickly ended it in the fashion we have seen lately, the shillelagh to the knee. And the ending, which again Striker put over perfectly, with Hart and Smith using the Hart Attack to put down Finlay was a pure shot to the original hart Foundation and was sold like it was sacrilegious. That is how you make a debut impact.
CHRISTIAN, SWAGGER, AND THE RETURN OF THE PEEP SHOW: Ok, with the pre-show meeting, I wasn’t sold on it and was all set to have this in PuRgatoRy as well, but the actually Peep Show saved it. One gripe I gotta get off my chest first. In the past week, we have seen The Cutting Edge, the VIP Lounge, and now the Peep Show on the shows and in all three, they bring out the guy they are feuding with. I understand building feuds, but this all feels like the WWE creative is out of ideas. But anyway, the Peep Show was rather good. Christian was his usual one-liner stinger self, even starting before Swagger came out by calling him the former ECW Champion. Swagger was pissed off as he has been and got his point across, but Christian was just one step ahead as he has been for pretty much the entire feud. The ending was predictable as soon as Swagger mentioned the no physical contact order by Tiffany, but it was still well executed.
MARK HENRY VS. TOMMY DREAMER: So we opened with Dreamer and Henry, part who knows what number. Striker put over Dreamer’s injuries suffered during the house shows and it definitely showed. I got to admit the ending was a little different though, with Henry dropping on the arm of Dreamer as he tried to school boy the big man. Now, Dreamer is the heart and soul of ECW, but man did he not look like the brains. Henry got the win, but the match was just there. Nothing wrong with it, but nothing really right either.
KOZLOV: Let me repeat what I said last week: So for yet another week, we get to see Kozlov destroy some local lad. This week, we get a kid with a degree in anatomy, you know, so he can put himself together after he gets maimed by the Russian Mauler. But I honestly am caring less and less about Kozlov every week. Yes, his promo videos get the point across, but until he faces someone on ECW that has a known name, nobody will care that he pinned The Undertaker clean back on Smackdown.
PAUL BURCHILL IS A SAD PANDA: First we had Zach Ryder looking like an idiot and wanting to get to the gym. Then Paul and Katie walk in and Paul wonders when he is going to have another match. Tiffany is sorry about it, but he walks out muttering like a sad panda. Then Katie Lea tells Tiffany that he can get in trouble with free time. I understand keeping Paul Burchill around, but this just doesn’t feel right, like Burchill is better off actually having a match then wasting away.
| The 411
So this was a decent showing for ECW, not the greatest in the world. Henry and Dreamer was average at best considering their past performances and I still don’t gave a shit about Kozlov’s domination plan. But Christian and Swagger was entertaining as all hell and the debuting of the Hart Trilogy was pure beauty. They couldn’t have planned that debut any better. The match itself was definitely below par though. Overall, good show for selling Judgment Day and the ECW “Main Event”, but very little of anything else. As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale. Also, PPV rankings can and will likely change through out the year: 0 – 0.9: Torture SHOW RATING: 6.5 |
~WWE JUDGMENT DAY~
By: Larry Csonka
The Matches:
NON-TITLE MATCH: HBK defeated Chris Jericho: To me this was the highlight of the card, both from an angle standpoint and an in ring performance aspect. These guys have proven that they can deliver, separately and together in the ring (WrestleMania X9.) They got nearly 16-minutes and worked a great, fast paced match with good counters and action that really sucked in the crowd. Excellent work by both men, and even though I hate Jericho losing AGAIN, it was worked so well that the loss was fine, due to the match being filled with so many counters. In the end HBK just out countered Jericho. This was a hell of a little match here. There was a ton of drama here that played very well off of the angles they have ran on TV, and if anything is remembered from this show it will likely be this match. I actually liked that we didn’t get the Batista run in OR a heel turn. Don’t give it all away in one night. I also liked the nod to WM X9 at the end, when they went for the handshake. Everyone expected Jericho to turn and he didn’t. DRAMA!
WWE TITLE STEEL CAGE MATCH: In the roundtable I stated, “I predict an old school cage match here, mainly because HHH loves doing his tributes to Flair. A slow, brutal and bloody match I would suspect. Changing the title so soon would be foolish I feel.” I was close here. They worked old school style with tons of climbing, minus the juice and in the end it was a good match. A lot of people didn’t like it and some thought it was amazing, in the end I feel the truth lies in the middle. Orton diving for the cage door to begin was a nice touch and he wanted this shit to be done and done soon. I was slightly disappointed that there was no juice, simply because these guys had the hatred between them, but it also didn’t take away from it. Adding the blood wouldn’t have made this match a lot better, but possibly would have added some drama. To me this was similar to TNA’s last PPV main event, while it was good it didn’t feel special. More of a serviceable main event more than anything. But the crowd went home happy with the HHH victory, so it served its purpose.
WWE TAG TEAM TITLES: our second match on the show was the WWE Tag Title match. This was a fun little tag match right here, I used to be really down on Miz, but he has slowly improved and is now passable in the ring and his charisma covers up a lot for him. The crowd LOVES Punk and Kane, the hate Morrison and Miz and that really allowed them to get into the match. As mentioned this was a fun match, and the champs surprisingly retained the titles. In the end I was glad to see Morrison and Miz retain, but the match ended up suffering from a lack of time. Just as it got going and really started to capture the crowd, it ended. Speaking of endings, while I love that the champs retained, CM Punk is a complete bitch. I mean, really, they couldn’t cheat like heels or perhaps do some devastating double team move that would lead to the pin? He got beat, CLEAN, AGAIN! JT put it perfectly on the podcast, “If CM Punk came out to ash in his Money in the Bank title shot, the champion would laugh in his face.” Seriously, it’s jus sad now. If it leads to a heel turn that is booked well then maybe it is worth it, but right now he looks like a bitch. Finally, this should have been the opener as they had guys the people like (Kane and Punk) and had a much better and crowd pleasing pace.
WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Mickie James defended the Women’s Title against both Beth Phoenix and Melina. I was very iffy on the inclusion of Melina, as she hasn’t exactly been booked like a challenger. She just had a fight with Beth and then WHAM she is in the match. They had a fun little 5-minute match, and this was a more clean and crisp match than the average WWE ladies match. They worked in some new stuff, including that sick looking double Canadian Back Breaker by Beth. Tremendous. Mickie retained the title after getting the primal DDT on Melina and that was that. While it was good for 5-minutes, these ladies need more time. It is no secret that I am a fan of the TNA Ladies division, but I have said time and time again that the WWE has ladies that can have good matches, given the time and proper build. Unfortunately management continues to have no faith in the ladies on PPV, and they got shit for time. Give them a chance to succeed, they deserve it.
THE VACATED WORLD TITLE MATCH: In my opinion Edge and the Undertaker have excellent chemistry, and when they have been paired together they have constantly delivered. This match was much the same. In a good way their matches are variations on their past encounters. They are constantly playing off of their past matches, countering stuff that worked and finding counters for counters. In my opinion that tells a good story. As most of their matches it had a slow beginning and picked up nicely through out. Unfortunately the hard work is hurt by the booking I feel. A finish to this could have made it another great match, but instead the weak count out and the title still being vacated hurts it a bit. When that count out happened I think we all saw what was coming. Vickie, to a ton of heat, announces that Taker won the match but not the title since it was via count out. So they strip Taker of the title, run the bullshit chase only to get back to Edge vs. Taker, and then on PPV fuck you out of a new champion by doing this. Some will say that they are leading to a HIAC/TLC/Ladder match at One Night Stand, which is fine, but this is the kind of shit that you do on TV to set up your PPV. And this also goes back to another thing I have been saying, you do NOT have to defend the World and WWE titles on every PPV. They could have worked something like this on TV and had this announced for One Night Stand, and done another match in its place. I hate this kind of thing on PPV.
John Cena defeated JBL: When I first watched this match, I didn’t think it “sucked” or was really horrible. I didn’t think it was great by any means either. The match was very deliberate, it was old school in many ways and I got what they were going for. I of course went back and watched it again, as I always do, I will admit that it wasn’t even as good as I first thought, which wasn’t that good. The one thing I need to say is that this should not have been the opener. While it fit 2 of my three criteria for the good opener (names people know/existing feud) the match that they were going to deliver didn’t set that stage and pump up the crowd as it should. People got bored, Cena was treated like any other face on the card and it underachieved. Finally, and I don’t hate Cena like a lot of people here on the web do, but the match here really bothered me because I knew what was going to happen. JBL beat on him forever, FOR-EV-ER, FOR-EV-ER, FOR-EV-ER! And then Cena ducks a clothesline, gets an FU and that’s that. Anti-climatic.
NOBODY CARES ABUT THE IC TITLE: I really felt the need to separate this from the match for the simple fact that this a personal bitch of mine, but one that I feel has validity. I hated that the match was non-title. They continue the IC title constantly. Some will say that “HBK is above the IC Title” and that “he doesn’t care” about it, and that is the problem. While they have a personal issue, in wrestling it is stressed that the best way to hurt someone is to take something from them, namely titles. HBK should not only want to beat his ass but to take the gold with him. If they are going to feud, at least involve the fucking title. Hell some trading of it may make people care about it. I would like to bring up the DX vs. Spirit Squad feud, where we saw DX defeat the Spirit Squad no less than 568 times, WHILE THE SPIRIT SQUAD WERE THE CHAMPIONS. They never cared about the titles, they never brought them up, and THAT is what conditions the people not to care about certain titles.
Jeff Hardy defeated MVP: Oh I did not like this for several reasons. First of all it wasn’t announced, and along with that was NOT needed. They had a good card with six matches lined up. But instead of trusting these matches to deliver, they threw this out there. It got 9:50, with the bullshit before the match we’ll say 13-total minutes. The tag title match and ladies title match could have desperately used that time, and if given so, they would likely have been much better. Secondly, FUCK THE BRAND EXTENSION! That’s what they are doing when they make matches like this. HBK and Batista was inter-branded, but they had a build off of the Flair deal and it makes sense. This was just tossed out there as filler, and it is stuff like this that hurts the effectiveness of the brand extension. Once again, this is the wrong execution of the right idea. Thirdly, as far as I can tell this was the first time MVP and Jeff Hardy have faced off. This is something I get on TNA a lot for, but you can only do the first match one time. That’s why it is called the first! Way to give that away there kids. Fourthly, and I touched on this when he got suspended, but when a WWE employee is suspended, it is said that if they return during a build to a PPV that they will NOT be put on the PPV, since it seems as if they would be given an instant reward in the PPV bonus. Well, they did that here so I guess that isn’t a big deal anymore. Insert the “Larry is an asshole who doesn’t sympathize with Hardy and the fact that he lost his house.” And finally, the match just wasn’t that good. It is like they had a finishing sequence, and then went out there and did MOVEZ for 9-minutes and hoped they could get to the end. I never got into it. This whole deal was a no buys segment if there ever was one.
A card with a lot of promise ends up being just another show. It just didn’t deliver that way that it could have, and that’s a shame. A lot of effort by the wrestlers, held back by bad booking in my opinion. Overall I will go with a 6.0 out of 10, and no recommendation to buy. Jericho and HBK is a good match, so track that down, but overall I can’t give a recommendation to spend money. It was a fine show with some solid wrestling and even very good at times. While match quality wise it was close to that of Backlash, the booking holds the show back, in my opinion, something that hasn’t been a big issue for WWE in 2008; and in the end it makes this a very forgettable show. Take a pass on this one and see how One Night Stand, Slammiversary or Night of Champions looks.
–ROH RISING ABOVE {8.0}
–WWE NO WAY OUT {8.0}
–WWE BACKLASH {7.5}
–WWE ROYAL RUMBLE {7.3}
–TNA GENESIS {7.2}
–TNA LOCKDOWN {7.2}
–ROH CAGED COLLISION {7.1}
–WWE WRESTLEMANIA {7.0}
–TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS {5.5}
–TNA DESTINATION X {3.5}
–[WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK vs. The Undertaker (*****)
–[ROH RISING ABOVE] – ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Bryan Danielson (****½)
–[NO WAY OUT] – THE SMACKDOWN ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****½)
–[BACKLASH] – LAST MAN STANDING: Edge vs. John Cena (****½)
–[ROH RISING ABOVE] – I QUIT MATCH: Jimmy Jacobs vs. Austin Aries (****¼)
–[TNA GENESIS] – Kurt Angle defeated Jeff Jarrett (****¼)
–[TNA GENESIS] – X-Division Title Match: Alex Shelley defeated Chris Sabin (****¼)
–[NO WAY OUT] – THE RAW ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****¼)
–[WRESTLEMANIA] – MONEY IN THE BANK (***¾)
–[CAGED COLLISION] #1 CONTENDERS MATCH – Tyler Black vs. Jimmy Jacobs vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries (***¾)
–[CAGED COLLISION] ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH – Nigel McGuinness vs. El Generico (***¾)
–[TNA LOCKDOWN] – PHILLY STREET FIGHT: IWGP vs. TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – Team 3D vs. Beer Money (***¾)
–[TNA DESTINATION X] – X-Division Title Ultimate X Match: Suicide defeated Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal (***¾)
–[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH (***¾)
–[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – WWE TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Jeff Hardy (***¾)
Not every PPV will have one, it just depends on who I think steps up and deserves some extra recognition.
–[TNA GENESIS] Sabin, Shelley, Angle and Jarrett – Rocking The House
–[ROH RISING ABOVE] – Danielson and McGuinness – Defining the ROH World Title
–[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – RVD – The Joke Pays Off
–[NO WAY OUT] – EDGE – The Ultimate Opportunist
–[WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK and The Undertaker – Stealing the Show
–[ROH CAGED COLLISION] – Nigel McGuinness – Better Than You Sugar Nuts
–[TNA LOCKDOWN] – Christopher Daniels – Pulling Double Duty
–[BACKLASH] – Edge and John Cena – Stealing the Show
I will update as often as needed.
–Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 04.25.09) {****}
–Evan Bourne vs. John Morrison – (ECW: 04.14.09) {****}
–Christian vs. Jack Swagger – (ECW: 02.24.09) {****}
–Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena – (Raw: 01.12.09) {****}
–Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 05.09.09) {***¾}
–Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries – (ROH on HDNet: 04.04.09) {***¾}
–Beer Money vs. Team Canada – (Impact: 02.19.09) {***¾}
–Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles – (Impact: 01.22.09) {***¾}
–Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho – (Smackdown: 05.08.09) {***½}
–Edge vs. Kofi Kingston – (Superstars: 04.23.09) {***½}
–John Cena vs. Chris Jericho – (Raw: 04.20.09) {***½}
–Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin – (Smackdown: 04.17.09) {***½}
–Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy – (Smackdown: 04.10.09) {***½}
–Primo vs. The Miz – (ECW: 03.10.09) {***½}
–Edge vs. John Cena – (Raw: 03.02.09) {***½}
–Lethal Consequences vs. Motor City Machine Guns – (Impact: 02.19.09) {***½}
–Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin – (Smackdown: 01.09.09) {***½}
And I’m out of here!
TWITTER
I don’t use it, but Ashish says he’ll stop paying me if I don’t put this here…
http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma
