100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA The New Batch & The Secret of the Ooze

Gibsonville, NC – 3.19.2016 – 2:00 PM

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Princess Kimberlee
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush and Bryce Remsburg.

Prakash Sabar admits he and the Boar are lactose intolerant, but Los Ice Creams also make them sick because of the Golden Opportunity they won in the 2015 Challenge of the Immortals. 2016 is the Bloc Party’s year. The Boar says Los Ice Creams will have to ask themselves “are we ready?” when looking across the ring at the them, and that the Bloc Party has two words for Los Ice Creams in response to that question: United. (2 words?)

Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.) vs. The Bloc Party (The Proletariat Boar of Moldova & Prakash Sabar)

Sabar kicks Hijo in the stomach to stop his dancing and grabs a side headlock. Boar blind tags in as Hijo backs Sabar to the ropes. Hijo pinches their fanny’s and slaps Boar in the face. He gives Sabar a running hip attack and tags in Jr. He gives Sabar the two scoop slam when his attempt to slam Boar does not go well. Hijo boots Boar out before Boar can strike Jr. Sabar slaps Jr. Jr. chases Sabar, baiting him into a strike from Boar. Hijo boots Sabar and slams tongue first into two corners. Sabar accelerates Hijo to the corner and hits the Busted Bronco. The Bloc Party wear down Hijo until Jr. jumps into help Hijo from a corner attack. Some friendly fire causes Los Ice Creams to argue. Boar Gore’s Jr., and now he and Sabar go to work on him in their corner. Hijo bandera’s to the apron and knocks Boar down. He avoids a legdrop from Sabar. Boar is able to intercept Jr.’s tag with a pounce, but that sends him out of the ring and brings in Hijo as the legal man. Hijo avoids a Gore from Boar and gives Sabar an atomic drop, sending him to the floor. Hijo gives Boar a uranage slam and a seated splash for two. He tries the Cold Stone Stunner but Boar sends him out of the ring. He drops Jr. with the Baconator, then drops Sabar onto Jr. with a Dominator for the pin at 9:03. This match was all to set up the Bloc Party for the Tag World Grand Prix, and with their great offense and smart team work, it succeeded. You can tell there has been marked improvement in the team over the course of their tenure. This also had the trademark stuff from Los Ice Creams in terms of humor and action, which the crowd was into. The two teams blended together remarkably well, and this was a fun way to start the show. **½

Officer Warren Barksdale vs. Devo Riggs

Barksdale backs Riggs to the corner and pats him down. Riggs grabs a waistlock, but Barksdale brings him to the corner and finds a metal object in his boot! Riggs claiming he was holding it “for his boy.” Barksdale goes to book him but Riggs delivers a pair of right hands. Barksdale goes up and over in the corner to evade an attack. Barksdale whips him across the ring and follows in with a knee strike, then a jumping back elbow. A running splash called Cease & Desist leads to a Dominator into a DDT (called Obey the Law) for the pin in 2:28. These short, simple matches to get the new characters over are smart and seem to be working. Barksdale has his shtick down to a tee. I think once he finds himself more ingratiated into CHIKARA’s tapestry, he’ll have some fun stuff to offer. *

Amasis says that Rock Lobster impresses him, and that he’s done his scouting to prepare himself for tonight. He says he has been to the promised land of 3 points before, and once you taste it, you want nothing more than to go back. He will do what it takes to get another Grand Championship opportunity, starting with a win over Rock Lobster tonight.

Amasis vs. Rock Lobster

Lobster offers a handshake, then pokes Amasis in the eyes when he accepts. Amasis reels Lobster into a dropkick. He goes to the stage. Lobster punches him, but Amasis gives him an enzuigiri. Lobster snaps the middle rope into Amasis’ groi. Lobster picks up speed on the ropes, only to sit down on a chinlock. Amasis breaks free, but Lobster takes out his legs and hits a springboard knee strike to the back of the head for two. Lobster drives Amasis throat first into the ropes for two. He whips Amasis to the corner and meets him with an enzuigiri off of the second rope for two. Lobster grinds Amasis’ face into the metal part of the turnbuckle. He goes to stomp his face in, but Amasis moves and crotches Lobster on the top turnbuckle. Amasis follows up with a high crossbody, back elbow, and leg lariat for two. Lobster responds with a Manhattan drop. He goes for a release suplex, but Amasis escapes. He cracks Lobster in the face with a knee strike and hits the 540 kick for two. Lobster stops Amasis as he looks to ascend the ropes. He hits Total Anarchy for two. Lobster brings Amasis to the top rope. Amasis holds the ropes to avoid a Frankensteiner, causing Lobster to crotch himself and crash to the mat. Amasis hits the 450 splash for the pin at 7:42. Rock Lobster is really great. His offense is both innovative, believable, and he looked totally comfortable in the ring with a senior member of the roster. The story of the match was also quite unique for CHIKARA and I thought it played out very well. As much as I like the Portal, I find Amasis to be an underrated singles competitor. ***

Argus knows that the Hermit Crab doesn’t always walk a straight and narrow path, and that he uses his pincers and his hard shell in battle. He’s also aware that Hermit Crab isn’t pleased that Argus eliminated him from the Young Lions Cup tournament. Despite that, Argus is relentless, and he wants to know if the Crab’s shell can stop him from “this lizard’s offensive blizzard.”

Argus vs. Hermit Crab

Argus controls Crab in a wristlock and side headlock. He turns Crab’s front facelock into a hammerlock and grounds him. Argus adds a bridge to the hammerlock and then tries pinning him down. Crab takes Argus to the corner and drives his pincer into his shoulder. Argus unloads some forearms and splashes Crab in the corner.Argus goes up top, but Crab throws him off with his pincers. He digs them into Argus’ back and delivers a Crab Hug slam. He applies a half crab which Argus escapes. He puts a claw hold onto Argus’ lower back. Argus catches him with an enzuigiri. Argus rolls through a whip and German suplexes Crab twice. He looks for a fisherman’s suplex but Crab turns it into a Lateral crab. Argus grabs the ropes to escape. Crab blocks a German suplex and chokeslams Argus. He misses the Naniwa elbow. Argus German suplexes Crab and locks on the Tazzmission. Crab taps out at 6:51. This was a rough watch at times. They did quickly recover from the lapses in cohesion, however. Argus has improved, so seeing him get a singles win pleases me. Crab still has a ways to go. **

Oleg the Usurper reminds Blaster McMassive that he “offed” the head of Flex Rumblecrunch last month. While he usually is fine settling for a three count, tonight he plans to make Blaster suffer.

Oleg the Usurper vs. Blaster McMassive

Oleg wins the slugfest at the bell, causing McMassive to bail outside. Oleg chases him back inside where McMassive catches him with a dropkick to the shoulder. He overhand chops Oleg in the corner. Oleg unleashes his own chops and drives his shoulder into McMassive’s mid-section. McMassive sends Oleg shoulder first into the ring post. From there, he works over Oleg’s left arm back inside the ring. Foolishly, Oleg throws a chop with his bad arm, and McMassive jams down on the shoulder before going back to work on the arm. Oleg is able to clothesline McMassive to the floor. McMassive drags Oleg out and forearms him in the face. He grabs a chair, but Oleg kicks him in the stomach before he can use it. Oleg punches McMassive in the stomach with his good hand. He chops McMassive against the post. He misses the second time, hurting his right hand. McMassive once again grabs a chair. He swings but Oleg moves, and the impact of the chair on the post hurts McMassive’s fingers. He misses double knees in the corner back inside the ring. Oleg kicks his leg out and smashes McMassive’s face into the top turnbuckle twenty times. He builds up speed with the ropes, but McMassive cuts him off with the Boss Man Slam for two. McMassive calls for Lariat Tubman. He ducks and takes down McMassive with the Usurper Kick. Oleg hits Off With His Head, but his arm is so hurt he can’t pin him right away. McMassive slips to the apron. Oleg tries pulling him back in, but McMassive jams Oleg’s arm across the top rope. McMassive comes off the top with a Superfly Splash, but Oleg kicks out. McMassive goes back to the top rope. This time Oleg grabs him by his throat. Oleg brings him down with a super chokeslam for the pin at 12:47. This was a really heated slugfest with some excellent storytelling and emotion. Blaster had a stand-out match with Silver Ant last year, and I think this was just as good if not slightly better. This match felt like a breakthrough for Oleg, not just as a big win, but the defining singles match of his career (so far). This is not a match you should overlook. ***½

Campeonatos de Parejas
N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. Battleborn (Lucas Calhoun & Missile Assault Man)

N_R_G have been champions since 9.27.2015 and this is their third defense. Jaxon avoids Calhoun’s karate and Calhoun avoids Jaxon’s superkick. Jaxon brings down Calhoun in a snapmare and does a mock karate pose. Calhoun catches Jaxon off guard right a right hand punch. Jaxon dropkicks him to the corner. Both Rockwell and Missile tag in. Rockwell stops his charge with a shoulder block. Missile takes two splashes in the corner before taking a clothesline from Rockwell. Calhoun enters N_R_G takes his legs out before delivering tandem dropkicks. Jaxon leaps off of Rockwell’s back for a splash onto Battleborn on the floor. Back inside, Calhoun gives Rockwell a chinbreaker. Rockwell goes for the Hyperwheel on Missile. Missile slips out and holds onto Rockwell’s leg. While referee Larry Peace is busy with Jaxon, Calhoun cracks Rockwell in the head with Missile’s entrance helmet! This allows Missile to schoolboy Rockwell to score the first fall in 4:00. Missile kicks Jaxon off the apron so he and Calhoun can isolate Rockwell, targeting his ribs and lower back. Rockwell is able to roll to the floor when he ducks a double clothesline. Jaxon comes in with a dropkick to both men off the top. He splashes Missile, but misses one on Calhoun. Missile rocks Jaxon with a running uppercut and Calhoun delivers an enzuigiri. He pump-handles Jaxon into a backbreaker. Calhoun goes for a splash, but Jaxon cuts him off with a superkick for a pin and the second fall at 10:37. Missile throws Jaxon outside and grabs Rockwell. Once again he and Calhoun focus on his back and ribs while keeping Jaxon at bay. Rockwell catches Calhoun coming off the ropes with an exploder suplex. Missile comes in and gives him two Northern Lights suplexes. He goes for a third but Rockwell counters with another exploder suplex. He spears Calhoun off the apron and to the floor. Jaxon nails a flying forearm off the top rope and the Generator clothesline. He superkicks Missile for two. Jaxon climbs up top. Missile cuts him off with an uppercut. He goes for the Missile Launcher but instead tosses Jaxon outside! Rockwell avoids it, and Jaxon lands on Calhoun and some staff. Rockwell goes for the Hyperwheel. Missile schoolboys him again for two. Missile furiously stomps on Rockwell. He goes for the Missile Launcher. Rockwell shoves Missile away. Rockwell hits the Hyperwheel for the third and final fall at 18:59. Rockwell being isolated instead of Jaxon added some variety to this defense. Not that all of N_R_G’s matches are identical, but it’s nice to freshen up the act once and again. They had the crowd behind them which was good (and not always the case), and Missile and Calhoun served as excellent opponents. They also carried a story thread throughout the falls which is always appreciated and made for another fun defense for the team. ***½

Encore Match
Ophidian vs. Chuck Taylor™

Chuck Taylor™ is introduced as “the only man to be kicked out of Destiny’s Child.” Taylor™ says he’s not going to sing tonight because he doesn’t have any soul. Ophidian ducks a clothesline and bicycle kicks Taylor™ to the corner. He comes in with double knees. Taylor™ avoids a second helping of knees, but does take a shoulder block. Taylor™ comes back with a leaping back elbow and uranage slam for two. Taylor™ sings as he stomps on Ophidian. He heads up top, but Ophidian catches him. He teases Taylor™ before throwing him to the mat. Ophidian lands a quebrada for two. He superkicks Taylor™, but Taylor™ rebounds into a chop and a German suplex! Ophidian kicks out. Taylor™ calls for Soul Food. He’s too short to get his leg up, so Ophidian sweeps his leg out, causing Taylor™ to crash face first into the canvas. Ophidian hits an enzuigiri and drives his knees into Taylor™’ chest in the corner once again. Ophidian headstands into another double knee strike. He comes off the top with Meteora for the pin at 3:41. How can you not LOVE Taylor™? He got to show a lot more offense in this match than he did in last month’s squash, showing he’s more than just a promo (steak to that sizzle, if you will.) Ophidian’s routine was par for the course, which in his case is a compliment. *½

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Gibsonville, NC – 3.19.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Princess Kimberlee
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Dr. Rod Diamondfire, and Bryce Remsburg.

Eddie Kingston says Pinkie Sanchez is a lamb being brought to the slaughter by Jakob Hammermeier. He’s going to run through the BDK, starting tonight, and ending with Jakob Hammermeier. Kingston says Jakob has messed with the wrong man and he will pay for it.

Eddie Kingston vs. Pinkie Sanchez

This is a rematch from “Eye to Eye” back when Ares and Claudio Castagnoli were heading up the BDK. Current BDK leader Jakob Hammermeier is in Sanchez’s corner. Kingston immediately boots Sanchez at the bell. He lays in chops and strikes before tossing Sanchez to the floor. Sanchez jabs Kingston in the throat from the ring apron, but Kingston catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex when Sanchez re-enters the ring proper. Kingston looks at Jakob as he lays in shots and suplexes Sanchez. When Kingston comes charging at Sanchez in the corner, Sanchez kicks out Kingston’s notoriously bad knee and hits the Shiny Hiney for a one count. Sanchez tries a suplex, which Kingston counters with a bodyslam. Sanchez ducks the Backfist to the Future and delivers a spinwheel kick. He climbs the ropes and comes down with a standing doublestomp that drives Kingston into the mat for two. Sanchez again jumps off the top, but this time falls into a uranage suplex from Kingston. A shotgun lariat and Backfist to the Future get Kingston the pin at 4:31. Kingston stares down Jakob as he pins Sanchez, but Jakob simply looks away, then walks away after the pinfall is made. At first I was slightly disappointed this was so short, but given that they told the entire story they needed to, I can’t be. Brevity is the soul of wit according to William Shakesman, and I think ultimately they told the most succinct story while also providing some fun wrestling. What’s not to like? **

Icarus & “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado & Wani

Despite being his partner, Icarus is hesitant to participate in the pre-match cheer, but does eventually concede. Icarus and Coronado reverse a chinlock to start. Icarus snapmares Coronado into a back kick and grabs a standing wristlock. Angelosetti tags in. Coronado breaks the wristlock right away and tags in Wani. Angelosetti ignores Wani and attacks Coronado on the floor. Wani jumps out and attacks Angelosetti from behind. Icarus dives off the apron onto everybody. Wani sends Icarus into the ring post while Coronado and Angelosetti throw furious punches back in the ring. Coronado cuts off Angelosetti with a boot, but Angelosetti comes right back with a clothesline. Coronado bandera’s Angelosetti to the apron. Wani yanks down Angelosetti, causing him to crash face first into the ring apron. He feeds Angelosetti to Coronado and trades some shots with Icarus. Wani and Coronado take turns wearing down Angelosetti while Icarus looks on. Wani even boots Icarus during the proceedings, which quickly raises Icarus ire. At the same time, Angelosetti is able to block an O’Connor Roll from Coronado and slingshot Wani into the ring. Angelosetti sends his opponents into another and tags in Icarus. He gives Coronado a vertical suplex but Coronado is able to fight off the Shiranui. Icarus is however able to hit the Michinoku Driver, but Wani breaks his pin attempt. Icarus dropkicks Wani in the corner. He then comes off the middle rope with a crossbody. Coronado rips off a turnbuckle pad and claims Angelosetti did so. Referee Larry Peace falls for it, and while he’s admonishing Angelosetti, Coronado reverses Icarus’ small package so that Wani is the one making the pin. Angelosetti jumps in a second too late, and thanks to him holding onto the tights, Wani pins Icarus at 8:45. The action was good but the finish felt cheap instead of clever. It also felt like this had a few more minutes of steam left, but ended too soon. It was a solid effort, but I think this story needs to do a little evolving. Otherwise, Angelosetti’s matches are in danger of becoming stale, and he is way too talented for CHIKARA to allow that to happen. **½

While Vlad Radinov is promoting the Wrestle Factory, he is cut off by Chuck Taylor™. Taylor™ sings his “Dinner For You” theme song as he saunters around ringside. Taylor™ asks for the music to be turned down just a little bit, communicating with the DJ for a very specific level. He tells a “very special someone” that no matter how many times he texts, e-mails, or faxes his mama, he will never get his name back. Taylor™ calls himself the Velvet Teddybear, the new and improved Chuck Taylor (™). He has the music turned back up and continues singing his song before heading out of the area.

Fire Ant vs. Jaka

Jaka and Fire Ant fight over an intense lock-up. Jaka throws shots to Fire Ant’s mid-section when backing him against the ropes and corner. He rakes Fire Ant’s back twice and delivers a chop before mowing him down with a running shoulder block. Some Lucha rolls lead to an alita armdrag from Fire Ant. He comes in from the apron with a courting hold armdrag, but Jaka stops his momentum. Fire Ant however uses the ropes for a wristlock drag. Jaka stops Fire Ant with a smack to the face and a German suplex. Fire Ant rolls to the floor and Jaka follows with a suicide dive. Jaka absorbs Fire Ant’s strikes and slams Fire Ant face first into the canvas. He bites Fire Ant’s antennae. Back in the ring he keeps Fire Ant grounded with shots and kicks. Fire Ant throws some forearms, but again Jaka absorbs them. He chokes Fire Ant on the middle rope. Jaka headbutts Fire Ant on the top of his head for two. Fire Ant fires up, giving out some chops and forearms. Jaka sends him to the corner and lands a splash. He violently whips Fire Ant back first into the opposite corner for two. He does so again. The third time, Fire Ant is able jump to the apron. He kicks Jaka in the head and comes back in with a high crossbody. Fire Ant delivers some running forearms and goes for a headscissors into a DDT. Jaka cuts him off and looks for the Jumanji Bomb. Fire Ant counters with a Frankensteiner. He dropkicks Jaka to the floor. Fire Ant takes a moment to rest. He bicycle kicks Jaka off the apron and lands a springboard somersault senton to the floor. Back in the ring Jaka catches Fire Ant in his grasp. He tries the Jumanji Bomb, which again Fire Ant stops. Jaka stops Fire Ant from Burning Down the House, but succumbs to the headscissors DDT. Fire Ant wants a brainbuster. Jaka fights free. However, Fire Ant ducks the T’Challa Kick, and drops Jaka with the brainbuster for two. Jaka ducks the Yahtzee Kick. He gets in some shots. Fire Ant responds with his own. Jaka chops away at Fire Ant’s neck and face. Fire Ant throws many overhand chops to the chest. Jaka takes a shot at Fire Ant’s stomach and neck once more. A leaping knee strike and enzuigiri seemingly daze Jaka, but Jaka sneaks in a headbutt to stop Fire Ant as Fire Ant charges off the ropes.The Jumanji Bomb connects and gives Jaka the win and his third point at 13:22. These two told an excellent story, with Jaka dominating and Fire Ant showing moments of hope and fire to keep the crowd invested. They also teased the Jumanji Bomb before ultimately paying it off in the finish. Naturally, having Jaka look so dominant also makes him a huge threat for the Grand Champion, with whom he has now earned a championship opportunity. This match did an excellent job setting up Jaka as a major challenger while also keeping Fire Ant strong. ***¼

Flex Rumblecrunch is a sports fan and a wrestling fan, but never did he imagine he would get the chance to wrestle a bootlegged version of Mr. Met. He reminds us that Hatfield got one-up on him in September, and Rumblecrunch doesn’t like when someone gets one-up on him. Today he gets a rematch back down South close to where their first match happened, but Rumblecrunch claims tonight will have a different result. Just like when he played wiffle ball as a kid, Rumblecrunch is going to line up Hatfield’s head and hit it a country mile.

Dasher Hatfield vs. Flex Rumblecrunch

This is a rematch from “The Marta Complex.” The girl who stole Sidney Bakabella’s fork at “Out On a Limb” taunts Rumblecrunch with it. Rumblecrunch and Hatfield engage in a ferocious collar-and-elbow tie-up which spills to the floor. They break, but go back at it when they get back inside the ring. Rumblecrunch shoulder blocks Hatfield after sending Hatfield to the ropes. Hatfield snaps off two armdrags. Rumblecrunch halts Hatfield and calls for a test of strength. A knee to the stomach helps Rumblecrunch in taking Hatfield to one knee in a double knuckle lock. Hatfield reverses. Rumblecrunch headbutts Hatfield in the stomach and takes him over with a one-legged monkey flip. Hatfield goes up and over Rumblecrunch and dropkicks him in the corner. He looks for a baseball slide but Rumblecrunch cuts him off with a boot. Hatfield ducks some leapfrogs and throws multiple punches to Rumblecrunch’s stomach. Although Rumblecrunch stops him against the ropes, Hatfield backdrops Rumblecrunch to the floor. He looks to dive but Rumblecrunch meets him with a forearm strike mid-air. Rumblecrunch charges and ends up face first in the ring post. Regardless, he buys a moment of time by backdropping Hatfield onto the ring apron. He boots Hatfield in the face before bringing him back into the ring for a two count. Rumblecrunch digs his boot into Hatfield’s chest after stomping him down. Hatfield finds his way off of Rumblecrunch’s shoulders and locks in a Magistral Cradle for two. A spinebuster from Rumblecrunch gets him a two count as well. Hatfield looks for the Jackhammer, but Rumblecrunch fights out and goes for a powerbomb. Hatfield slides out of that and gives Rumblecrunch a Cyclone neckbreaker. Once again Hatfield goes for the baseball slide. Rumblecrunch intercepts and violently drives Hatfield into the corner. He lays in multiple shoulder blocks. He charges, but Hatfield ducks under and is able to sneak in a running powerbomb out of the corner for two. Rumblecrunch counters a Jackhammer attempt with a TKO. He superkicks Hatfield and heads up top. He goes for the rope-walk shoulder tackle. Hatfield catches him with a mid-air Ace Crusher and finally hits the Jackhammer for the pin at 11:40. This was very similar in structure to the match that preceded it, but the offense was more even between the wrestlers and the crowd was a bit more lively. Like Jaka with the Jumanji Bomb, Hatfield built up the Jackhammer for the entire match, ultimately paying it off in the finish. Rumblecrunch has improved immensely, and has done a tremendous job transitioning from “the third guy in the Dev Corp” to the face of the group in Max’s absence. He and Hatfield had a really fun, engaging match, that had me believing it was either man’s contest to win. This was a rare instance where the follow-up was better than the original. ***¼

Jakob Hammermeier claims that he has absolute power. He has the crown jewel of the Wrecking Crew, the Nightmare Warriors, and…Pinkie Sanchez. The Batiri will serve as an example to how Jakob plans to runs roughshod on CHIKARA. He says Hallowicked and Frightmare will serve their King and make sure they do not lay a hand on him. When he asks if they understand, Hallowicked states “We obey.” Hammermeier says that’s how a King rolls.

The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald) vs. Jakob Hammermeier & The Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked & Frightmare)

Hammermeier used the Eye of Tyr on Hallowicked “Evil Ways”, and now he and Frightmare are seemingly under his control. Hammermeier kicks Obariyon to escape a wristlock, but Obariyon mows him down with a flying elbow strike. Obariyon strings a running boot and knee strike together. Hallowicked throws Obariyon to the floor. Kobald catches Hallowicked off guard with a Prawn Hold for two. Hallowicked goes for Go 2 Sleepy Hollow which Kobald counters with a tornado clutch. Kobald also blocks a step-up enzuigiri and catches him in a huracanrana. He goes for the Acid Drop, but Hammermeier stops him with a Haymaker. Hammermeier goes to chop Kobald but hits his partners instead. Obariyon comes in with a crossbody to Hammermeier. Again Hammermeier hits his partners instead of Obariyon. The Nightmare Warriors admonish him. They want to strike Hammermeier, but Hammermeier tells them not to. Obariyon and Kobald double chops Hammermeier and toss him to the floor. A Lucha exchange between Frightmare and Kodama ends with a dropkick from Kodama. The Batiri triple team Frightmare. Both Hammermeier and Hallowicked run in and suffer the same fate. They all hit the floor, but Obariyon and Kodama follow with suicide dives. Kobald then tope con hilo’s after them. In the ring, Hammermeier begs off before giving Kobald the Skullcrusher. Hammermeier and the rest of his team isolate Kobald from the rest of his team until he moves out of the way of a stomp attempt from Hallowicked and spears him. Frightmare grabs his leg, but an enzuigiri sends him off. Kobald tags in both Obariyon and Kodama who clean house. They nail the Skull Bronzing on Hallowicked. Frightmare accelerates off of Hammermeier’s back from the stage into a double DDT on the Batiri into the ring. Kobald hits the Acid Drop on Frightmare. Hammermeier and Hallowicked break his cover. Hallowicked looks for Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Hammermeier demands he put him down so he can take the glory. Hallowicked obeys. Hammermeier tosses him to the corner where he takes some boots from the Nightmare Warriors. Kodama Jon Woo dropkicks Hallowicked, leading to him be assaulted by many boots. Kobald gives him a seated senton but Hammermeier stops his folding press pin. Obariyon drop toe holds Hammermeier on the middle rope and cracks him with a knee to the head. He and Kodama nail Redrum on Frightmare. Kobald delivers the Demon’s Toilet. Hammermeier drags Obariyon and Kodama outside while Hallowicked stops Kobald’s pin. Hallowicked hits Never Wake Up for the pin at 14:25. This was on par with the other really fun multi-man matches CHIKARA has had all year. The action was non-stop and all the competitors were on fire (sans Hammermeier, but that’s purposeful to an extent.) The Nightmare Warriors and the Batiri always work well together, and Hammermeier’s involvement added a new ingredient to their usual formula. ***¼

Hammermeier tells Hallowicked he did well. He asks for Hallowicked to pledge his allegiance to Hammermeier and kiss his hand. Hallowicked grabs his hand and shakes it. He then says “Hallowicked obeys” and squeezes Hammermeier’s hand! Hammermeier screams in agony. Hallowicked says he only obeys Nazmaldun, and Frightmare grabs the box containing the Eye of Tyr and leaves! Hammermeier cries for them to come back as he holds his hand in pain. The fans chant “King of Nothing”, angering Hammermeier as he heads to the back.

Heidi Lovelace says her and Princess Kimberlee have been friends for a long time. She was so happy to watch Kimberlee win the Grand Championship at the ECW Arena, because she knows Kimberlee earned it. But in the back of Heidi’s mind, she was a bit jealous, and even angry. Not angry at Kimberlee, but because Kimberlee was in the position Heidi could have been in had Mr. Touchdown not ruined the Challenge of the Immortals for them. Tonight her and Princess Kimberlee make history by competing in the first all-female Grand Championship match, but for Heidi that is not enough. She needs to win.

Grand Championship
Princess Kimberlee vs. Heidi Lovelace

Princess Kimberlee has been champion since 12.5.2015 and this is her third defense. Kimberlee offers a handshake. Lovelace says she was Kimberlee’s friend before the bell, and will be after the bell, but kicks her hand away to signify that the friendship is on hold during this match. They break an intense lock-up cleanly. In a test of strength, Lovelace backs Kimberlee to the ropes. They both crash into each other against opposite ropes with running forearm strikes. They both also deliver running knees to the stomach. Lovelace clobbers Kimberlee with a right hand. Lovelace stops a German suplex and spikes Kimberlee with a crucifix bomb for two. Kimberlee goes to the floor. Lovelace tells Kimberlee “this is what it takes to be a champion” before clocking her with another right hand. She drags Kimberlee back in the ring and cinches on a Muta Lock. Kimberlee escapes. Lovelace throws some kicks while Kimberlee is on the ground. Kimberlee goes for a powerbomb, but she crumbles and Lovelace’s body weight lands on her chest and stomach. Lovelace scissors Kimberlee’s upper body while applying a chinlock. Kimberlee uses the ropes to escape. Lovelace chops Kimberlee in the corner, to which Kimberlee responds in kind. Lovelace drives Kimberlee face first into the middle turnbuckle with her knees. She then drives her knees into Kimberlee’s back and gets a two count. Lovelace misses Meteora, causing her knees to crash into the canvas. She favors her left leg. Kimberlee notices and twists that leg around her own. Lovelace grabs the ropes. She drives Lovelace’s knee into the canvas twice. Kimberlee applies a half crab. Once again Lovelace gets the ropes. Lovelace is able to send a charging Kimberlee to the apron. She drops Kimberlee neck first across the top rope, then slowly climbs up the ropes. Lovelace crossbody’s onto Kimberlee on the floor! Both women crawl back into the ring just before the twenty count. They go nose to nose as they get to their feet. Lovelace strikes first, taking Kimberlee to a knee with three kicks to the head with her good leg. Lovelace wants Kimberlee to stay down, but Kimberlee refuses, so she kicks her in the head three more times. Kimberlee finds the energy to get her shoulder up. She throws more kicks to the head. Kimberlee blocks one and tosses Lovelace with six German suplexes. Her back and neck are too worn down to keep a bridge. They exchange waistlocks, where Kimberlee delivers her seventh German suplex. Multiple Rudos from the locker room surround the ring, then the Tecnicos. Two more German suplex from Kimberlee follow, but Lovelace tells Kimberlee to bring it. With that, Lovelace takes three more German suplexes. She holds the bridge on the third, but Lovelace kicks out of it. Lovelace throws some kicks to Kimberlee’s leg. Kimberlee kicks out her bad knee and hits the Ganso Bomb. Lovelace kicks out! Lovelace comes back with a high enzuigiri. The Heidi-Can-Rana only gets two. Lovelace goes for a tornado DDT. Kimberlee shoots her off and rolls up Lovelace. Lovelace kicks out and locks on the CHIKARA Special! Kimberlee makes her way to the bottom rope. Lovelace goes for the Heidi-Can-Rana. Instead, Kimberlee cuts her off with a pop-up powerbomb. Instead of the Alligator Clutch, Kimberlee puts on a modified bow and arrow, stretching Lovelace’s leg far enough to almost touch her head. Lovelace submits at 20:09. This was fantastic for many reasons. Both competitors took us on an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish. They both had a course of action that they stuck with and paid off. The CHIKARA Special being applied played into history, as it’s what Heidi used to eliminate Kimberlee from the Young Lions Cup XI tournament in 2014, and how Kimberlee won the Grand Championship. Not only that, but the wrestling itself was top notch and the crowd played a big role in adding to the big fight atmosphere. It’s one thing to put two women in a main event and claim it as history, but these two worked their butts off to make it as special as they claimed it would be in the build-up. This will be one of the best matches for CHIKARA this year. ****

Encore Match
The Snake Pit (Ophidian & Shynron) vs. Battleborn (Lucas Calhoun & Missile Assault Man)

The Snake Pit duck the Battleborn’s double clothesline and send them outside with stereo headscissors. They go for stereo pescado’s. Shynron connects on Calhoun, but Missile moves. Missile uppercuts Ophidian back in the ring. Ophidian sends him back out with Deja vu. Ophidian palm strikes Calhoun in the chest repeatedly until he gets to the ropes. Calhoun kicks Ophidian in the stomach and gives him a pumphandle backbreaker. Shynron comes off of Calhoun’s shoulders with a neck drag. He headstands into a double back kick in the corner. Shynron climbs the ropes, but Calhoun pulls him down into a Samoan Drop. He karate chops Shynron and Ophidian. Shynron holds Ophidian so he can hypnotize both Battleborn members amd referee Larry Peace. This leads to dancing from everybody in the ring, and Calhoun dipping Missile. Missile dances all the way to the back. Ophidian kicks Calhoun to stop the trance. Shynron uses the beam in the ceiling to deliver a Frankensteiner. Ophidian follows up with a Meteora for the pin at 4:31. This was a fun way to end the night and decompress from the emotional main event. Missile Assault Man dancing backstage was especially amusing. *¾

8.5

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

The Grand Championship is not to be missed, both for historical purposes and as one of the better matches of the year. Both shows are really consistent up and down with a lot of good, fun undercard bouts and strong story points. I'd recommend picking up both shows, but if you had to choose 1, go with the evening show. If nothing else, go out of your way to see the Grand Championship bout. You can purchase both shows together on DVD or Blu-Ray from CHIKARA's store. You can purchase The New Batch on mp4/VOD here and The Secret of the Ooze on mp4/VOD here, as well as options to purchase individual matches.