wrestling / TV Reports
The Taboo Tuesday 2004 Breakdown
Shelton got 37%, his nearest competitor was Batista at 20%. They exchange armdrags to start. Benjamin works the arm with a stepover armbar. Crowd chants “Y2J.” Jericho lays in some stiff chops. He’s leaning heel for the match. He charges, but Benjamin backdrops him over the top. Benjamin backs him into the corner, and strikes Jericho with a wicked slap to the chest. Benjamin charges into a boot, and Jericho hits the running enzuigiri. The arrogant cover gets two (and a big pop). Benjamin misses a dropkick. Jericho delivers a backbreaker and stretches Benjamin across his knee. Benjamin sunset flips Jericho for two. He catches Jericho going up and superplexes him to the mat. Jericho is up at eight, and a slugfest erupts. Benjamin gets a flying clothesline and the leg whip for two. Jericho bulldogs him, but the Lionsault misses. Benjamin goes up and hits Jericho with a flying lariat for two. Benjamin’s Stinger Splash misses. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Benjamin reverses to a small package for two. Jericho hit’s the Lionsault, but doesn’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Benjamin whips Jericho to the corner. Jericho stops and springboards off, right into a T-Bone Suplex from Benjamin. One, two, three. New champion. 10:56. Crowd was listless, but really got into it at the end. ***ј
After the match, Jericho congratulates Benjamin on a hard-fought victory.
Your participants are Trish Stratus, Jazz, Nidia, Gail Kim, Molly, Victoria, and Stacy Keibler. JR says Molly looks like a librarian from Oklahoma. That’s a lie. There are no books in Oklahoma. Jazz strips Nidia and kicks her out for the first elimination. Victoria ducks a Molly clothesline and dropkicks Jazz out. Gail tries to huracanrana Victoria out, but Victoria hangs on. Kim is eliminated. Stacy does the Kevin Nash foot choke. I think her other foot was in Green Bay at the time. Trish and Molly double slingshot Victoria out. Stacy tries to fight back against both women, but she’s overwhelmed. Molly tosses Stacy. Trish jumps Molly from behind and throws her out at 5:38. *
Kane tosses the chain out early because he wants to feel Snitsky’s cold dead corpse with his bare hands. Snitsky runs away. Kane chases him with the chain and clotheslines Snitsky with it. Kane wraps his fist with the chain and blasts Snistky to the outside. Kane starts to wrap his fist up again, but Snitsky pulls him into the post (Kane blatantly placed it there so Snitsky could grab it, though). The Might Snitscules whips Kane with the chain and chokes him out. Snitsky drops some elbows, and they get into a slugfest. Snitsky chokes Kane out again. Kane fights back but takes a sideslam. Kane does the Zombie Sit-up. They do the double big boot spot. Kane sits up again as Lita steals the chain from Snitsky. Kane grabs the chain and goes after Snitsky. Snitsky is resourceful, though, and kicks the steps into Kane’s legs. Snitsky wears Kane out with a chair and chokes with the chain again. Snitsky puts Kane’s neck in the chair and Pillmanizes him (just the way Kane did to Shawn Michaels). The ref calls for the EMTs. Snitsky runs off, but comes back to pin Kane at 14:16. Odd. Surprisingly decent power match. **Ð…
After the match, Snitsky returns once again and flips over Kane’s gurney.
Bischoff gets in some kicks but makes the mistake of targeting Eugene’s head. Bischoff feigns a knee injury and cheap shots Eugene. He’s no Stunning Steve. Eugene gets a big boot and a legdrop for the win at 2:12. Ð…*
Coach announces that the match was hair vs. hair. He tries to overrule the internet audience and make Bischoff Eugene’s servant for five minutes. Vince McMahon interrupts and makes things right. Eugene rapes Bischoff of his dignity. Coach tries to sneak back to the control center, but Vince punishes him by making him wear a dress.
Edge takes his aggressions out on Conway. Benoit tags in, snap suplexes Conway, and tags back out. Efficiency. Edge gets caught in the wrong corner, then gets into a war of words with the fans. Benoit grabs him and tells him to get his head out of his ass. Benoit and Grenier screw up a flapjack spot. Edge gets caught in the La Res corner again, but hits Conway with a flying forearm to get out of trouble. He spears Conway to the outside. A brawl erupts between all four men. La Res isolates Edge again when all is said and done. Crowd gets listless, even as Edge clotheslines Grenier and makes the hot tag. Benoit gets the crowd fired up with some chops, but he takes the Bret bump to the corner. Conway grabs a front facelock as the crowd chant “Let’s go Benoit.” Benoit responds with a German suplex. Benoit makes the hot tag! Oh, but the ref was tied up with La Res. Edge argues with the ref until he realizes none of it matters anyway. EDGE WALKS OUT ON BENOIT! Edge gets his bag and leaves the arena. Benoit fights out of a chinlock. He won’t quit because he’s CHRIS “FUCKING” BENOIT! Benoit superplexes Grenier who stumbles over to tag his partner. Benoit slips out of “Au Revoir” and tosses Conway into Grenier. Grenier takes a tumble, enabling Benoit to get the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE ON CONWAY! CONWAY TAPS!!! (16:15). Solid match and a great story, even if the crowd wasn’t into it all the way through. ***Ñ•
This should lead to:
A) Benoit picking a new co-holder.
B) Feuding tag champs.
…or
C) A six day title reign for Benoit as they hotshot the titles back to La Res.
If it’s A, Jericho would be an awesome choice.
Carmella’s nip is showing even before the match. Christy pulls out one of Carmella’s “enhancements.” They exchange pillow shots as the crowd chants for puppies. Christy hits SWEET DUPONT MUSIC for the win. Christy’s constant snuggy was the only thing worth watching. O
Michaels is too injured even to dance. Triple H corners Michaels and pummels him. HHH targets Michaels’ knee, of course. Jim Ross: This match could be over early…or maybe not. He’s not the best color man in the biz for nothing. The ref wants HBK to give up, but Michaels refuses. HHH locks in a figure-four leglock. The ref is about to ring the bell out of mercy, but Michaels pulls him down. HHH is about to wrap Michaels’ leg around the ringpost, but Michaels pulls him into the post. Michaels counters another figure-four by shoving Hunter into the turnbuckle. Michaels delivers a trio of atomic drops, which is pretty stupid. He rocks Hunter with a series of rights and covers for two. Triple H kicks him in the knee and readies for the Pedigree. He pushes the ref away, but that turns out to be a mistake. Michael low blows him behind the ref’s back. Michaels hits a DDT and a flying elbow. He cues up the band, but Batista runs down. HBK takes him out and hits Triple H with Sweet Chin Music. Batista gets back up and distracts the ref long enough for Edge to climb in and spear Michaels. Triple H rolls over and covers for the win at 14:06. Well, thankfully they didn’t upstage Orton and Flair. This wound up being a one-sided throwaway match due to the circumstances. **
Edge makes his way back through the crowd yelling, “It shoulda been me!”
Elsewhere, Lance Corporal Eric Bischoff morphs into Frank from “Blue Velvet,” yelling “Don’t look at me!”
Smart choice for the closer since it is the biggest match that was booked in advance. Orton shoulderblocks Flair down early and yells at him to get up. Flair does and lays in some chops. Orton counters with punches and backdrops Flair. Flair goes up the cage, but Orton follows him and confronts him. Flair eye pokes Orton and delivers the most EVIL low blow you will ever see. Flair sends Orton into the cage, busting him open. Orton goes into the cage again. Another wicked chop rocks Orton back against the cage. This is just an awesome beating. Flair unloads with more chops. Finally, Orton reverses a whip, sending Flair into the cage. Now, Flair is busted open. He goes up, but Orton catches him and pulls his tights down. Ew! Orton corners Flair and delivers the ten punch count (with the crowd chanting every step of the way). Flair counters with a punch to the wedding tackle. Good God! Orton responds by raking Flair’s face across the steel mesh and dropkicking him into it. Flair goes up, but Orton slams him off. Orton goes up and hits a sloppy crossbody for two. The stretch neckbreaker gets two for Orton. Flair levels Orton with a chop and goes for the door. Orton catches him and pulls him back in. Flair pulls out a pair of brass knuckles from his tights and BLASTS Orton with them. ONE, TWO, THR–NOOO!!! Flair tries to go out, but Orton pops up and catches him. Flair: Ow, my goddamned leg! Flair drags a chair back in and swings at him. Orton ducks and delivers a picture-perfect RKO for the win at 10:35. Way too short, especially given that HHH vs. HBK was six minutes longer. For a moment, it felt like 1989 all over again. ****
After the match, Flair and Orton hug and shake hands. Great moment.
Final Thoughts: Oddly enough, if I were to book this PPV, I think I would have done most of the same things. I can’t remember when that happened. They probably could have just combined the Diva matches to save time, especially considering Christian and Batista were relegated to standing around. The WWE also has created a few stars with this PPV. Benjamin is on his way up. Snitsky finally looked legitimate, beating up on a 300 lb. monster. The heels got some much-needed new blood with the addition of Edge. Quick, name all the heel World Title contenders…Triple H…and…? Finally, Flair did everything in his power to make Orton the next huge star. Flair was the real star, though, returning to a form most of us thought impossible. Pretty good show, with the only sour spots being the World Title match and anything involving the chicks.
Recommended.
J.D. Dunn
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