wrestling / Columns
The Sunday Small-for-All News Report 10.15.06
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to your Sunday Small-for-All News Report. I’m not Jeff Small. He’s actually doing something out in the real world this weekend, so he won’t be in. Fortunately, I have no life, so I’m in to recap all of your wrestling news from the last couple of days. Don’t worry, Jeff says that he WILL be back for his Heat recap for those of you who can’t be bothered to actually watch the twenty minutes of content that WWE puts online for that show these days.
Cyber Sunday Shapes Up
We already knew that the main event for the former Taboo Tuesday would be John Cena vs. Booker T vs. The Big Show. Now PWInsider.com is passing along word that the plan for the match is for fans to vote on which of the three men’s championships will be on the line. One would think that this also means that the fans will essentially be picking the winner, as I can’t imagine the company doing a title change in this contest. Of course, I also wouldn’t be surprised if the “voting” winds up looking like last year’s show in which one option is pushed so hard compared to the others that it will almost definitely be chosen.
The other match rumored for the show is Jeff Hardy defending the Intercontinental Championship against either Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro, Chris Masters, Carlito, or Super Crazy. I can’t imagine wanting to see any one of those matches. Hardy and Nitro worked surprisingly well together, but the match has been played out at this point. Shelton had a hot streak and was doing well a couple of years ago, but WWE has made him so painfully uninteresting that I don’t want to see him again. People keep calling Carlito the future of the company, and I want to drive a spike through my head if he actually is . . . unless he improves SUBSTANTIALLY. Masters? Well, at least through this announcement he knows that he’s guaranteed employment for the next couple of weeks. If anything, Super Crazy is the guy I want to see slotted in the most, as his WWE run has been pretty fun if you actually watch the matches he’s in instead of ignoring the lower card. He’s got a style that is flashy without having to be too high risk, and he even managed to make Masters look good in a couple of bouts.
Great Unforgiven Buyrate
Good news for WWE! The initial buyrate for the Unforgiven pay per view, according to the company, was 285,000 buys! That’s 25,000 buys higher than the final number for last year’s Unforgiven, and final buyrates always wind up being higher than initial buyrates for various reasons. That’s the good news. The bad news? WWE is still falling miles behind UFC, its biggest competitor in the pay per view market. By comparison, UFC 61 drew 775,000 buys, which seems odd considering that the television ratings for MMA shows are so far below those of WWE shows.
What does this show us? UFC is able to convince a much higher percentage of its television viewers to purchase pay per views, and hopefully people in WWE are starting to ask themselves why that is. For the majority of the year, UFC has been able to build characters and storylines that its fans actually care about and will pay to see, whereas it seems WWE is simply treading water and a relying on a core base of fans who will purchase any slop that they throw out. Hopefully the Unforgiven number will serve as a heads up to those in “creative” who think that the way to turn around sagging buys is to throw out multiple gimmick matches on every show and inundate your programming with played out characters and bathroom humor that would make the average seventh grader shrug. Fans don’t need that, and it’s becoming clear that they don’t want it. Instead, maybe energy should be focused on taking two men, establishing a simple reason for them not liking each other, and running good promos explaining exactly why they don’t like each other. Then they fight to see who’s the best. It seems to work well for the other guys, after all . . .
The Lame-o Marine
Speaking of only drawing from your core base of fans, BoxOfficeMojo.com is reporting that The Marine starring John Cena only drew $2.25 million on its opening day. It is true that this beats out See No Evil‘s opening day tally by roughly $600,000, but it is still a failure when you consider that the budget for The Marine was much higher, and far more mainstream advertising was done. Despite this news, KNBC out of Los Angeles is reporting that a second movie starring Cena will begin filming in spring of 2007. I haven’t heard any word on whether this will also be a WWE Films production or whether it’s being produced independently and just happens to star Cena.
High-Definitely Not
For those of you wondering why WWE has been slow to broadcast in high definition, Bryan Alvarez of F4WOnline.com shed some light on that this week. Apparently there is a very real concern on the part of some people in the company that the leap in video quality will result in professional wrestling looking even more fake, with moves that don’t quite connect being even more noticeable and Great Khali being revealed as a 3’2″ midget who stands on a bunch of orange crates. Some of you may recall that a couple of months back news broke about WWE running a test-taping in high definition in order to determine how to best deal with the new medium. This new news either reveals a.) why they felt the need to have that taping or b.) that something at said taping did NOT go too well for the company.
Fran-seeya
WWE has cut Francine from their roster. I don’t know how much WWE was paying her, but they almost certainly weren’t getting their money’s worth, as she had only a handful of appearances on television. The fact that this came hot on the heels of Justin Credible’s firing has led some to believe that we may see the vast majority of the “ECW originals” gone within a matter of months. I can’t say that I consider that a bad thing, because the Tony Mamalukes and the Danny Dorings of the world haven’t contributed all that much to the company . . . nor do they have much to contribute if given the opportunity. You may as well replace them with guys like Rene Dupree and Matt Striker, who are just as entertaining and have the added bonus of WWE actually wanting to invest some time in them.
The Future is Not All Bright
Gunner Scott got cut too. He’s already been snapped up for some Ring of Honor dates, which makes sense given that their fanbase will probably enjoy his Benoitcito schtick.
Two Fired, One Rehired
I should really have just put all the WWE roster news under one headline, huh? Marty “The Boogeyman” Wright has re-signed with the company, reportedly due to a campaign effort by Booker T. Book and former tag partner/current brother Stevie Ray have a wrestling school located in Houston, and apparently Boogey will be spending some time there to hone his basic skills (or rather to learn them in the first place) before returning to the ring.
No UFC for Angle
UFC frontman Dana White was interviewed by Alex Marvez this week, and he stated that he does not want Kurt Angle in UFC if he is going to continue to do professional wrestling. Smart decision by White, as the reputation of his product would most likely be ruined if mainstream audiences started to think that it was “fake” like pro wrestling. Having Angle involved in both UFC and TNA simultaneously could lead to that impression. Fortunately for Kurt, if he still wants to do MMA, I’m sure there are 5,000 other companies that are waiting to snap him up at the first opportunity.
TNA Signs Jerich . . . Oh, Wait.
It’s been announced by TNA that next week’s Impact will feature the national debut of the music video for Fozzy’s single “Enemy.” For those of you who may not remember, Fozzy is a metal band fronted by Chris Jericho. When I first read this news I was afraid that it would lead to a barrage of “OMG Y2J SIGNS WITH TNA!” rumors, but the reaction has actually been a lot more sensible. People are realizing that this is probably just a one-time promotional deal. It’s actually a smart business decision by Jericho because he gets to promote his music in front of wrestling fans without having to appear on WWE TV. He’s appealing to his base but doing it in a way that is completely underneath the mainstream radar, which helps him avoid the “wrestler” stigma that he’s attempted to cast off since going Hollywood.
Hard Knox
Here’s a story that I’m surprised I haven’t seen reported in more places. Rebecca Knox, who in independent circles is considered perhaps the best active female wrestler today, has released a statement letting her fans know that she will not be able to compete until at least December. Due to a blow to the head in a match in Germany, she has apparently suffered damage to the eighth cranial nerve, which is a nerve that connects directly to the brainstem and is necessary for proper balance and hearing. The damage could be permanent. This is particularly sad because Knox, at the age of 19, had recently relocated from Ireland to Florida in order to train and more actively pursue her wrestling career. Those wanting to wish her well can do so through her official website.
ROH ROH ROH, Yipee Yo Yippee Yay
Ring of Honor announced this week that Konnan will be returning to the promotion for the first time in several years. Some of you may remember that the K-Dawg first entered the promotion in 2003, supposedly to bring lucha libre in to the company. Well, not one single ROH fan bought in to his schtick, and he and Jeff Hardy now share the distinction of being the two men booed straight out of the company. I’d say that this is actually a risky move for ROH, as they’re placing Konnan in the corner of the super-hot Homicide, and giving the fans any reason to turn on the promotion’s number one babyface seems like poor planning. However, since 2003, Konnan has toned down his actual wrestling dates a good deal and has been part of the smark-friendly LAX in TNA, so perhaps the reaction he receives will be not nearly as negative.
Also added to the ROH roster recently was Zach Gowen, who is playing an egotistical character bent on bringing some “sports entertainment” to Ring of Honor. He wrestled Delirious at one of last weekend’s shows, and it has been teased that the match (or at least part of it) will be show in the next installment of the ROH Video Wire.
SHIMMER Next Week
Usually when I write these news reports I like to preview upcoming indy shows, but there’s only one worth noting within the coming week. SHIMMER: Women Athletes will be taping its next two DVD releases at the Eagle’s Club in Berwyn, Illinois (home of the world’s largest laundromat) on October 22. Tickets can be reserved through their website.
Every SHIMMER event that I’ve seen has been a great one, and this one should be no different, especially given that second generation star Nattie Neidhart making her debut with the company. She’s recently been evaluated by WWE for a developmental contract (and they’ve expressed interest in her since Wrestlemania weekend), so this may be one of your final opportunities to see her live on the indy scene. Additionally, French Canadian sensation LuFisto will be making her first SHIMMER appearance against veteran Mercedes Martinez. LuFisto has experience in the US, Japan, Mexico, and Canada and is currently the CZW Iron-Man Champion, which makes her a great addition to any roster.
On top of the new faces, some of my personal favorites will be returning, including Allison Danger, Cheerleader Melissa, Ariel (not the ECW version), MsChif, and the lovely Lacey. It’s a stacked card, so be sure to make your way out if you’re in the area!
Well, it seems like it’s been a fairly downbeat week in wrestling news, but at least we managed to end on a high note with a good upcoming show. Hopefully Small will be able to make things more upbeat next week . . . he’ll see you then.
