411’s WWE This is Awesome Report: “Most Awesome Weddings”

-This show has returned with episode 5 and this time bells are ringing as we look at awesome weddings. Let’s get to it!

-Greg Miller welcomes us to the show and throws to the opening video package that features highlights from various weddings over the years with Talking Heads providing thoughts. RENEE YOUNG! She tells us she loves weddings! LITA AND TRISH BRAWLING! Lawler: “Love is grand, but divorce is a hundred grand.” AWESOME! I forgot about the wedding with Bryan and AJ Lee. Lita/Edge wedding with Lita showing off the girls! I am a sucker for all of this!

-Greg Miller throws to what will go down as the most important on-screen wedding that turned into something that changed the history of the business.

-Test/Stephanie Wedding: LET’S GO! As we all know, HHH interrupts (Vince threatened to fire anyone who showed up that wasn’t family) and throws to a video. HHH marries a drugged Stephanie McMahon in a drive-thru wedding chapel. Woods and Liv don’t even know if they can talk about this because STEPH WAS DRUGGED AND NEVER GAVE CONSENT TO THE MARRIAGE. This is just glorious and I can’t stop laughing. HHH was amazing and having a ball with this. HHH can’t be fired because he is family after all and it was the pairing on screen that led to their romance off screen and now HHH runs the show in WWE.

-Greg lets us know that this next wedding proves karma is a bitch!

-Edge/Vicki Guerrero Wedding: Edge was a sleazeball and used Vicki’s status as GM to get his way top the top of SmackDown. He went so far that he proposed to Vicki and the wedding goes off without a hitch. HHH gets to interrupt another wedding and throws to video of Edge making out with the wedding planner (Alicia Fox). You can tell Renee loves all this as she goes over each of these weddings. She credits Vicki with having the best meltdown in wrestling and she deserves better than Edge.

-Miller sings some BSB and talks about swerves at weddings!

-Daniel Bryan/AJ Lee: AJ Lee and Daniel were paired together and Bryan treated AJ like crap. Woods: “was she being gaslit, I don’t know?” Daniel proposes even though everyone in the crowd doesn’t want her to say yes. Their wedding happens on RAW 1000 and features Slick as the preacher in a brilliant touch. AJ says yes, but not to Daniel. Vince McMahon comes out which causes jaws to drop but we find out she was saying yes to Vince’s business proposal. AJ is named the new RAW GM and leaves Bryan at the altar.

-Indi Hartwell/Dexter Lumis Wedding: IN-DEX! This was perfect! Theory says it started with him being kidnapped by Lumis and Hartwell fell for Lumis. Austin: “We are in a ring silly.” Everyone raises their hand to speak against the union, but back off when Dexter flashes an axe. Dexter chokes out the official but Beth Phoenix was ordained online a few days earlier and has been waiting for this moment. DEXTER SPEAKS! The reaction is amazing as they all gasp. Again, this was perfect in every way!

-Miller says that is the rare wedding with a fairy-tale ending. Next up is the dark wedding!

-Undertaker/Stephanie McMahon Wedding: Steph has been in a bunch of weddings! Undertaker is in his Ministry character and is stalking Stephanie to play mind games with Vince. “WHERE TO STEPHANIE?” Awesome! Paul Bearer is the official as Steph is tied to a cro….symbol and is forced to marry Taker, but Steve Austin makes the save to a monster reaction. Steph gives Austin a hug for saving her and even Vince is grateful. KO remembers Steve surfing on Taker’s symbol while drinking beer. Fun times!

-Miller discusses WWE and unpredictability going hand in hand.

-Billy and Chuck Wedding: Woods calls it his favorite wedding. Elias says that as a fan you questioned what their relationship was. Chuck proposes to Billy to be his partner for life. It actually became a National News story and they were guests on The Today Show. The entire wedding was planned by their stylist, Rico. Stephanie McMahon (SD GM) is there to watch, and both Billy and Chuck get cold feet as it was supposed to be a publicity stunt. “We’re not gay, though we have nothing against gay people.” The old minster tries to get order and lets slip that what Billy and Chuck has can last 50 years or 3 minutes. AWESOME! Woods loved it and we see the reveal as Eric Bischoff (RAW GM) is buried under all that makeup. Woods mentions he probably crapped himself watching at home. Everyone credits whoever did that makeup on Bischoff. 3 Minute Warning hit the ring and destroy Billy and Chuck. Bischoff felt everything about it was executed perfectly.

-Dawn Marie and Al Wilson Wedding: Renee: “Oh brother.” Lawler: “Who wouldn’t want to see this wedding in real life.” For those not watching at the time, Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie were feuding on SmackDown. Al Wilson is Torrie’s father and he falls for Dawn Marie. Torrie catches them in a shower and eventually Al asks Dawn to marry him and she says yes. The wedding happens in late 2003 and Dawn strips out of her gown into her bra and panties. Al gets stripped down to his white boxers. Renee says she can’t imagine anything being more terrifying than having to strip down to bra and panties. The wedding was only the start as Al gets killed by too much sex during their honeymoon. Then we have a funeral and I just can’t with this! It’s so absurd but hilarious at the same time. If you are going to go all out like that, then go all out!

-Miller fake cries over Al’s death.

-Kristal Marshall and Teddy Long: Sam Roberts says it was the most underrated wedding of all time. Woods says the best thing is that Jagged Edge was there to sing “Let’s Get Married” (the original version). He loves the shine it put on the R&B world. The remixed version was what my wife and I and our bridal party walked into at our reception. Godfather interrupts with his hos and nearly everyone in the audience leaves with the hos. Teddy has a heart attack before he can say “I do.” Again, just go all out and commit!

-Miller tells us that Long went on to make a full recovery.

-Lita and Edge Wedding: So, Lita had a force marriage with Kane but somehow became a villain for turning on Kane. For whatever reason the heel turn made Lita even more of a smoke show (with all due to respect) and she was set to marry Edge. Lita’s gown brought a tear to Lawler’s eye. Renee mentions that’s not a gown you would really wear to get married. Kane’s head pops up through the mat and he plants the priest with a Tombstone! Kane says hitting that tombstone was a big moment in his career.

-Miller has dad jokes!

-HHH and Stephanie Vow Renewal: HHH returned in 2002 from his quad injury to a monster babyface reaction. That causes issues between him and Steph. HHH lays the law down, but Steph feels the best thing to do is renew their vows. HHH: “That is the stupidest idea I ever heard.” Steph counters back that she is pregnant and HHH is overjoyed. Just before the ceremony, HHH finds out from Linda that Stephanie is lying about being pregnant. HHH goes along until the time is right and he calls Steph “a no good lying bitch.” Sam Roberts doesn’t think Steph deserved any of that as HHH is the one that changed.

-Miller: “Spoilers: they worked things out.” He wraps up the show and next time we get The Most Awesome WWE Champions.

-I say this after each show because I am a sucker for nostalgia, but I loved this show. When done right wrestling weddings are fantastic and even when bad they can be memorable. I am a little disappointed no mention of Savage/Liz just for the greatness that was Jake Roberts crashing the wedding reception. No matter though as this show made me happy! Thanks for reading!