Stew’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer Retrospective: Season 6, Episode 11

Rest In Peace Michelle Trachtenberg: A BTVS Retrospective, S6 E11

As I write this, we are just a few hours out from the tragic death of Michelle Trachtenberg. She was just 39 years old, and she has no business no longer being with us at such a young age. Tell the people you care about that you love them as often as you can.

Before you enjoy this article, take a moment of silence for a good actress taken far too soon.

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox TV

We kick off season six, episode eleven with Buffy and Dawn are clearing out all of Willow’s magical goods, despite Dawn’s protestations that they are getting rid of things she likes (like candles). As Buffy gives the “one must resist evil temptation” speech to her sister, she finds one of Spike’s lighters and flashes to boning down with him.

IT’S ALL CORRELATIVE, YOU GUYS. This show is so subtle.

Team Losers is building a device out of the diamond they stole earlier this season. It turns things invisible. They believe an inviso-gun makes them unstoppable, but I have my doubts.

Back at the Summers household, time has passed, and Willow reports most of the symptoms of her going cold turkey have passed, so so much for our having to face the consequences of her actions! Drug addiction, folks! Just experience one (1) opening titles sequence of your life, and everything is hunky dory.

Dawn comes downstairs and acts pissy to everyone, but Buffy blames herself for it for… reasons. Spike barges in, in the middle of the day, and says he was looking for a lighter he lost. Buffy lies and says she has not seen it. Spike starts seducing her–we don’t see how; his hands and Buffy’s waist are thankfully below the boundaries of our television sets–but Xander walks in and ridicules him.

As Dawn is leaving for school, she encounters a lady at the front door. It’s Doris Kroger, from social services. Buffy chases Spike out of the house so she can deal with Ms. Kroger. Ms. Kroger reports that Dawn’s grades have plummeted recently, and that Dawn has been absent from school a lot. She puts Buffy on probation, meaning that she will be a regular-ish character until she probably dies.

It was a different time, folks. During the meeting, Ms. Kroger hears Willow’s voice, and Buffy had to convince her she wasn’t living in gay sin. That was probably enough reason to put her on probation alone in 2002 or whenever this was.

Whatever. A sad and frustrated Buffy runs upstairs and does a butcher job on her hair with a pair of scissors. Presumably because Spike called her “Goldilocks”.

As Buffy is leaving from getting her hairstyled after the lockes massacre, Team Losers shows up and plan to turn invisible and spy on girls getting bikini waxes. The sigh I let out could be heard twelve houses down. They fumble with their raygun and accidentally blast Buffy (and a few random nearby items), turning her (and them) invisible.

Xander and Anya are planning their wedding at the magic shop when invisible Buffy pops in and starts talking to them. Xander agrees to look into Buffy’s plight, but the slayer seems relatively cheerful about the ordeal. Anya points out it would be stupid of an enemy to turn her invisible, as it only makes her harder to deal with. Xander thinks it might be a magical mistake, making their most likely suspect Willow.

Xander shows up to Willow, who is surfing the web. She has discovered the stolen diamond has mystical properties. Xander bypasses that and goes into blaming her for Buffy’s current situation. An offended Willow storms out.

HA! Welcome to the life of an addict, Willow. You’ll never get the benefit of the doubt ever again. But at least you are being indignant about it.

We cut to Team Losers, and the gun is fried. We see in the background a whiteboard with the schematics to their device and “INVISIBILITY RAY!” underlined. I don’t know who Ray is, but he seems to be having the same day as Buffy!

Hyuck hyuck

ANYWAY, Invisible Buffy is walking through the park, haunting people for their fashion choices and stealing meter reader’s little car things. Then she turns up at an office building to see what she can do to Ms. Kroger. She messes with her coffee mug and whispers “Kill, kill, kill. Kill everyone”. She then steals Dawn’s file and replaces it with Jack Torrance rambling.

Like social workers don’t have enough to deal with, Buffy. Come on. This all gets Ms. Kroger sent home for the day, so maybe we are done with this subplot already?

Downtown, Willow has discovered the trash bin that got turned invisible and is spray-painting it so people can see it again. Xander comes upon her and the two make peace. We get some priceless (?) Xander physical humor as he walks into a few unseen items, so it was all worth it (??). Willow sends him off with an invisible traffic cone to see if he and Anya can figure out how to fix it; she takes the other clues she has found and goes off to further her investigation.

In Spike’s crypt, Buffy walks in and rips his shirt open. Okay? I suppose they can bang if he can’t see her? Because she DOES announce her presence.

Back at the magic shop, Xander is working on fixing the invisibility of the cone, but Anya is still working out seating for their wedding. She reaches out to the cone and realizes it is turning to mush! They have to warn Buffy that she, too, may soon start turning to mush!

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox TV

Team Losers is in their lair, Jonathan and Andrew find out that Buffy will die from the raygun. Warren is fine with that, but Jonathan threatens him that they have to save Buffy. Warren reluctantly agrees. It’s nice of this show to remember that Jonathan is actually a, you know, GOOD HUMAN BEING. This season has been character assassin-ing the shit out of him so far.

Xander walks in on Spike and Buffy mid-coitus. Spike brushes it off as doing push-ups in bed. Because the show is lazy, Buffy doesn’t leave a physical imprint under the sheet they are lying. Except when she does, after Xander leaves. Consistency! That’s all I ask for.

While Spike is talking to Xander, Buffy nibbles his ear. Xander does not notice this because he is the pits. Eventually Xander heads out, and Spike and Buffy talk. Spike gets to act against nothing for a while, so that may or may not have been fun for him. But this episode will get worse in that regard! Spike tries to throw her out, but it is implied that Buffy starts giving him a blowjob.

So… just so, so classy, this show.

Willow at an Internet cafe is frustrated with how long a computer is taking to load. We get some Dutch angles to show tension because this episode’s director made it to AT LEAST Filmmaking 201! She considers using magic to speed the connection up, but it loads for her before she can.

Buffy, having been tossed out of Spike’s, returns home. Dawn also shows up very late. Buffy reveals her condition to her little sister, whereupon Dawn gets pissy and rushes upstairs.

They could rename this show Dawn The Vampire Slayer’s Pissy Sister. It’s just as fitting as anything else ever going on. I’ve been told Dawn is a terrible character, and those people really weren’t lying.

Buffy checks her voicemail and hears Xander say the invisibility is killing her. She… doesn’t seem that put off by it, really.

Elsewhere in town, Willow fucking just effortlessly tracks down Team Losers and sneaks into their basement. I am reminded of how easily the Scoobies achieved EVERYTHING in the earlier seasons of this show. I want to appreciate the last few seasons for getting rid of that bit, but I can’t because HERE IT IS AGAIN.

Willow finds the gun, but is taken hostage by the three losers, all of whom are currently invisible. I guess they fixed the gun off-screen.

Buffy gets a call from Jonathan, who reports that they have Willow. They ask her to meet them in an arcade, and the slayer agrees. At the arcade, poor Allyson Hannigan is tasked with acting against four other characters who aren’t really there. And I think I feel even worse for the cameraperson, who is reduced to shooting back-and-forth dialogue between people who, again, AREN’T ACTUALLY ON SCREEN.

Warren tries to kill Buffy with the gun, but Willow warns her friend. There is an invisible fight scene because this episode loathes me. Eventually and thankfully, Willow picks up the gun and returns everyone to normal, so Buffy finally knows these three jabroneys are after her. A security guard provides a momentarily distraction, and Team Losers escapes into the night. So I guess we STILL aren’t done with them.

I sigh, therefore I am [watching this show].

Willow and Buffy have a chat, and Willow reveals she didn’t use magic to help Buffy, even though it was hard. Buffy says she heard Xander’s voicemail and realizes she doesn’t want to die anymore.

That passes as a happy ending around here, people! You take what you can get, I suppose.