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Texas Chainsaw Massacre Review
Image Credit: Yana Blajeva/Netflix
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Cast:
* Sarah Yarkin as Melody
* Elsie Fisher as Lila
* Mark Burnham as Leatherface
* Jacob Latimore as Dante
* Moe Dunford as Richter
* Olwen Fouere as Sally Hardesty
* Alice Krige as Mrs Mc.
* John Larroquette as Narrator
Story: After nearly 50 years of hiding, Leatherface returns to terrorize a group of idealistic young friends who accidentally disrupt his carefully shielded world in a remote Texas town.
The timeline of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, such as it is, is one of the most convoluted in horror history thanks to a series of meaningless reboots. The first two films are definitely connected. Then you have the third and fourth which are either loosely connected (with the idea that Leatherface moved on and found new insane families) or are both soft reboots. Then you have the 2003 remake and its prequel. Then you have Texas Chainsaw, which ignored everything except the original, and Leatherface, which was a prequel to that.
That leads us to the 2022 Netflix version of the story, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which likewise pretends that nothing has happened except the first film. Producer Fede Alvarez tried to give a little fanservice and say the other sequels might have happened, but that’s basically impossible. Of note, this is the fourth film in the series with some combination of Texas, Chainsaw and Massacre in the title that doesn’t have a number or subtitle attached. First you had the original, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Then the 2003 remake, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Then Texas Chainsaw, no Massacre. And now Texas Chainsaw Massacre, no “The.” And that’s not even counting the two movies in this series with the name Leatherface.
And you thought it was silly for there to be three movies called Halloween.
It’s honestly amazing that for such a simple premise (a family of insane cannibals terrorize people in the middle of nowhere), no one has been able to really keep it going. Michael Myers hasn’t been through this much retconning and he is currently in the middle of his fourth timeline. Leatherface is on his seventh if the third and fourth films are not connected. It’s still his fifth if they are. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
With the obvious similarities in confusing franchises, it only makes sense that the latest Texas Chainsaw Massacre steals from the 2018 Halloween. It’s pretty blatant about it, too. It ignores everything after the first film, Leatherface comes out of seclusion to kill again. And in the most obvious example, Sally Hardesty is suddenly a badass survivalist waiting for the chance to hunt him down and get revenge. You know, like Laurie Strode. The difference is, of course, that Laurie Strode managed to fight off Michael Myers in the first film and her being a physically capable final girl is part of her DNA. Sally is being shoehorned into the role, because she was very much not capable of doing much other than screaming and running in the original.
So let’s say you can ignore all the timeline nonsense and approach it as a standalone sequel. Let’s say you can ignore the fact it’s trying to cash-in on the successful requel (thank you Scream) to Halloween. At the end of the day, all any fan of Leatherface would hope for is that the movie is good. Opinions vary on when the last good film was, but I think we can all agree that it’s been a very, very long time. So is this the movie to finally get things on track?
Yes and no.
The first thing you have to understand is that a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie, unfortunately, has a very low bar to clear. At this point, if it’s not Matthew McConaughey acting like a lunatic or the infamous ‘do your thing, cuz’, it’s automatically got a leg up on the competition. And the good thing about this movie is that is has zero interest in being weird or funny. So it you don’t get absurdly hammy performances or weird moments that make you cringe.
The movie is just interested in one thing, seemingly, and that’s brutal violence. This is without a doubt the most gory movie in the series yet, which is funny as the original had very little bloodshed. But if you’re into nasty kills, this has a ton of that. Leatherface is old and doesn’t really have time to chase people, so he makes sure to butcher them as efficiently and as nasty as possible. Let’s not mince words here, this movie is just gross and really puts the teeth back on the saw, so to speak.
It also manages to accomplish want it wants with a few stalk sequences and set-pieces. The scene on the bus (which thankfully removed the cringe line from the trailer) works well, as does some other moments which call for suspense. That’s important in its own right because without the suspense to build up to the violence, you’re just watching someone’s visual effects reel. Without a story and without making the kills mean something, you might as well be watching Faces of Death. And no one wants that, even if the effects are very impressive here.
There is definitely a cinematic eye here in how the shots are framed and how it’s set up to get from moment to moment. At least one kill is played very smart, in that it builds and builds, not quite showing you the payoff until it needs to. Leatherface’s new look takes a little getting used to, although it makes more sense when you realize why his mask looks the way it does. It should be said the movie does absolutely nothing new for the franchise here, but so many people have tried and failed to do new things that “back to basics” is actually appreciated.
That said, there were still some problems. Some major problems, in some cases. It seems to have no idea what it wants to do with Sally once it puts her in the survivalist role. She shows up and then, without much spoilers, really doesn’t add much to the movie. If I had much emotional interest in the character, I’d call it an insult to the original film how mishandled she is. She was one of the original final girls in a slasher movie and here she just…exists. If you’re looking for a big Sally vs. Leatherface showdown, you’re probably going to be disappointed.
It has a big problem with characters in general. Most of the people we see Leatherface carve up are unlikeable, and try as this movie might to paint them with shades of grey, they mostly come off as jerks. The sequence of events that lead to Leatherface even coming out of retirement could have been handled by everyone taking a breath and not overreacting, but the plot demands that we rush through the set-up to get to the bloodshed, so that’s what we do. We speed through some pretty important story elements so people can die brutally. The only likeable character, is the surprisingly layered redneck Richter, and he’s not on screen enough. Our two leads are written without much care, particularly Lila, whose backstory is that she’s the survivor of a school shooting. That feels almost as gross as the gore here, to write in such a serious tragedy as footnote in a brainless slasher movie. It’s tasteless as hell and adds nothing to the plot.
The problems were mostly with the script, but I would say the effects team, the direction and even the performances of Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Mark Burnham and Olwen Fourere all deserve some praise. As a slasher movie that you don’t have to think a lot about, it’s fine. There have been plenty dumber and if you’re looking for a nasty hack-and-slash movie where people die in the worst ways, this is for you. If you take any time actually think about anything or expect anyone in the cast to act like a real person would, you’ll be disappointed. But this wasn’t nearly as bad as the trailer suggested it would be.
