The Slasher Movie Encyclopedia: A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

Greetings, all!

It’s your boys absolute favorite time of the year, the grandest and greatest month of all time, October. Now, as tradition here at the Hall of Burly, we put the guns, greased muscles, and 1-liners aside to pay homage to my other favorite genre, horror, particularly, the slasher genre.

This year we’re looking to finish a series we started reviewing a few years ago, A Nightmare on Elm Street. At the end of the month there will be a brand new book for you guys, a collection of the Elm Street reviews, along with a few other bonuses, like I usually do. I know, it’s a joyous announcement, and you’ve already marked your calendars.

Speaking of books, in case you can’t wait for the new Elm Street book to hit, you can always check out my adventures at Camp Crystal Lake, which, to be honest, I think is my best work.

My Summer Vacation At Camp Crystal Lake

Alright, before we covered my favorite entries of the series, now…well….

OK, first things first, I’m SUPER annoyed that they called it “Freddy’s Revenge”. The first movie’s ENTIRE plot was about Freddy getting his revenge. So, this is him getting revenge for his revenge plot getting foiled? I like it! Well, Freddy’s latest object of torment is a kid named Jesse. A seemingly…lighthearted kid, whose family recently moved into Nancy’s old house. He starts having nightmares, the first of which is him on a bus with his hair styled with Elmer’s Glue, being taken out to the desert by the bus driver, Freddy Kruger. Fun little fact, the bus driver is actually played by Robert England.

Well, his school is your typical school from an 80s film; Mean teachers, kids out to get you at every turn, a dream demon as a metaphorical representation of being super gay. Ya know, things everyone experiences. At one point he has a dream where Freddy lets him know that he’s got plans, because Jesse has the body, and Freddy has the brains. We then get a bad-ass scene of Freddy pulling off his scalp to reveal a pulsing brain. Awesome shit. Honestly, the look of Freddy in this one is arguably my favorite, he looks so sinister and evil. I love the contacts and wish they’d always had those.
Jesse has a friend named Grady, who in one scene they don’t seem to know each other, and then appear to be enemies, then all of a sudden they’re good friends. I dunno. He’s also got a pretty cute girlfriend that’s rich. At one point while he’s putting away all his shit from the move, she shows up, and helps him. This has to be the most devoted girlfriend in the world, because she caught him doing the most ridiculous shit in the world, and couldn’t have been more odd if he was wearing the all-sequin Dodger’s jumpsuit that Elton John wore once. It’s there they find Nancy’s diary, and he learns of Freddy and all that.
Later on, the family is relaxing when it gets up to around a 100 degrees in the living room. If that weren’t cause for concern, their two pet birds go amuck. One kills the other, then proceeds to fly around the house, which has everyone SHOOK. Honest to God, this tiny little bird, flying around with a scowl, has everyone acting like Robocop just showed up in a Sherman tank. Well, the bird suddenly bursts into flames, and the father blames Jesse. Said he did it with a firecracker. I’m sorry, but is there a missing scene where we learn that Jesse is also Las Vegas magician Chris Angel? How the fuck would Jesse have been able to do all that?! That’s what I love about old school parents. They’d just say the dumbest shit, but with enough menace and purpose in their voice that it wasn’t questioned.

Well, later that night, Jesse decides to go to an S&M bar, because, well, why not? It’s the Nightmare on Gay Street, and they’re getting away with all that they can, kudos. He heads to this bar, where no one checks ID, no one makes you pay for your drinks, and low & behold, his teacher is there. Now, apparently, back in the day, teacher’s had full control over you, no matter where, no matter when. He makes Jesse go to the school and run laps. While showering, the coach is attacked by sports equipment, then he’s drug into the shower where he’s whipped on the ass with towels….how the hell did NO ONE KNOW that this was all a gay metaphor? Also, how the hell is this suppose to be scary, or even cool?! It’s ridiculous. I literally can’t think of much things less scary than a dude getting his ass whipped with towels after basketballs acted towards him with menace.
Eventually his girlfriend hosts a big time pool party, and attempts to cure mark of his evil, homosexual ways with the power of boobs and stuff. It don’t work. I mean, he buys into it for a second, but then he ends up running to his pal Grady’s, and asks to spend the night there. I gotta admit, Grady’s bed looks super comfy. Well, this doesn’t go very well, as Grady falls asleep…I think? I dunno, but we get one of the best scenes from the whole franchise, in where Freddy comes out of Mark’s body, and kill’s Grady. The kill is weak, but the rest is sweet as hell.

He then heads on over to Lisa’s house, where Freddy tries to come out again, but Lisa tells him to fight his evil, homosexual ways, but he’s all “I can’t, I’m all about the dick now!”. So, Freddy is loose as a goose at the pool party, and it’s cool, in a sense, because everything is on fire and he’s killing left and right, but at the same time, eh. Like Wes Craven said, it was stupid because some of the kids were taller than Freddy, and he didn’t have the menace to him. So, he kills a few, ducks some buckshot, and heads on out.

Lisa gets the idea to head to the plant where Kruger worked, and took children, to find Jesse. She does, and…I dunno, defeats him with he power of heterosexual love? It’s super odd, and probably the lamest way Freddy has been defeated. Well, we think all is well, and Jesse has suppressed his evil homo ways, but the last scene is Freddy’s claw bursting through a girl’s chest, showing that no matter how great your girl is, your love for dick will always win. I mean, I think that’s the message?

Official Slasher Movie Encyclopedia Tally:
Killed:5
Swear: 8
Boobs: 0
Slow Motion Scenes: 0
Foot Chases: 0
Fake-Out Scares [ie, a cat]: 1
Car Stalling: No
Instances of Drugs/Drinking/Sex: No
Warned But No Belief: Yes

Box-Office Business:
Costing $3 million total to make, New Line Cinema was hoping that this film would do 70% of what the original did, but it ended up doing quite a bit better, with a grand total of $30 million dollars.

Things You Need To Know In Order To Survive:
Originally they thought “Pssh, nuts to England and a pay raise, we’ll just get anyone”. So, they did, and it was a big flop. You can actually see a shot with the original guy, when Freddy is walking through the steam of the shower. They soon realized what a mistake this was, and Robert was back.

David Chaskin, the writer, said that the gay subtext was intentional.

3 actors who auditioned for Jesse were Brad Pitt, John Stamos, and Christian Slater.

This takes place 5 years after the original.

Freddy & Jason have something in common because of this film. When we see Freddy’s eye in the back of Jesse’s throat, that’s the only time Freddy is played by a woman. As it was Special Effects Designer Kevin Yagher’s girlfriend. Jason was played by a female production assistant at the very beginning of his Part 2.

Final Rating:
This film is a fucking mess. Outside of Freddy and the house, it just does away with everything the original had. We don’t hear the awesome theme, there’s no crazy dream sequences, no one even dies in a dream! None of the deaths are spectacular. I mean, they ALL die via the claw, and that’s it. Hell, by the hour mark only 2 people had died. We also have no idea why Freddy is doing this, or what his revenge is. It’s clear that they didn’t give a fuck, and simply made this movie just to cash in. That all said, it does contain some aspects that are my favorite of the franchise, such as Freddy’s look, and the scene where he comes out of Jesse’s body. Like I said, it’s a fucking mess, and certainly not one I watch with any sort of regulairty, but it has it’s moments, and there’s a certain charm to it.
**3/4 Head-Butts Out Of 5

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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