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Why Don’t You Just Die! Review
Loading...Why Don’t You Just Die! Review
Aleksandr Kuznetsov– Matvey
Vitaliy Khaev– Andrey
Evgeniya Kregzhde– Olya
Mikhail Gorevey– Yevgenich
Elena Shevchenko– Tasha
(check out the rest of the cast here)
Directed by Kirill Sokolov
Screenplay by Kirill Sokolov
Distributed by Arrow Films
Not Rated
Runtime– 95 minutes
Buy it here
Every so often a movie comes along that’s so well done, so brilliantly executed, and just so much fun that you want everyone in the world to see it because it really is that damn good. Why Don’t You Just Die!, from writer/director Krill Sokolov, is one of those movies. The movie, from Russian, has been kicking around the international film festival circuit since at least 2018 and is now available on Blu-ray and digital HD (iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, and Google Play) from the fine folks at Arrow Films. The movie is chock full of twists and turns that you don’t see coming, shocking moments of glorious gore, and laugh out loud moments. I’m not exaggerating when I say that Why Don’t You Just Die! is a modern dark comedy thriller classic.
Why Don’t You Just Die! stars Aleksandr Kuznetsov as Matvey, a low rent thug and devoted boyfriend who shows up at his girlfriend’s parents’ apartment to kill her father with a hammer. Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), Matvey’s girlfriend, told Matvey that her father Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) molested her when she was a child and that she wants Matvey to exact revenge on him for her. Matvey agrees to do what Olya wants because, again, he’s a devoted boyfriend. However, unbeknownst to Matvey, Andrey is a badass cop and that killing him with a hammer is going to be incredibly difficult. After a tension filled discussion where Andrey sort of finds out who Matvey is, Matvey and Andrey brawl in the apartment, and when I say brawl I mean they beat the fucking shit out of one another. When the brawl is over, Matvey finds himself handcuffed to some pipes in Andrey’s bathroom. Andrey hasn’t arrested Matvey, though. While it’s true that Andrey is a cop and Matvey is a thug all is not what it seems. I don’t want to say any more about the plot because, as I said, the movie is chock full of twists and turns that you don’t see coming, but, through various flashbacks that really do all connect together, we find out what the hell is really going on. Again, all is not what it seems.
I was surprised by the flashback structure director Sokolov uses, but then I was more surprised by the hellacious brawl Matvey and Andrey engage in. The fight is brutal, nasty, and the kind of fight you expect to see at the end of a movie, not at the beginning. The brawl is a showstopper for sure with some terrific fight choreography. The rest of the movie’s action sequences aren’t as long and drawn out as the Matvey/Andrey brawl, but they are equally exciting in their own way. To say that quite a bit happens in Andrey’s apartment would be a serious understatement. Bodies sure do fly in this movie.
The gore on display is also quite exquisite. Characters bleed in this movie. Andrey’s poor shirt was white at the beginning of the movie. It’s not at the end. The best gore sequence is a toss-up between a sequence where a character gets a drill to the leg and the blood just shoots out of him and a sequence where a character is shot in the gut with a double barrel shotgun and the body damage is gag inducing. There’s also a pretty nasty sequence involving a police murder investigation that doesn’t go as planned. There really are some truly sick people in the world. Great stuff.
The apartment set where most of the movie takes place is kind of bland looking, it doesn’t look like anything special, and that’s why it works. It comes off as a place where people actually live. And that goes for the bathroom set, too. I have no idea if that set was actually built next to the apartment’s living room but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. It all fits together nicely.
The main performances are all exceptional. Aleksandr Kuznetsov is amazing as Matvey. He has to act, he has to fight, and he has to exist through some of the most horrific violence imaginable. He doesn’t have much in the way of dialogue to deliver; he spends most of his time reacting to what’s happening around him. He does a great job throughout.
Vitaliy Khaev is a total badass as Andrey, the cop and father that ends up engaging in a knockdown, drag out brawl with Matvey. He seems to exist in this realm where you’re never quite sure what his deal is but you also know that you’re uneasy about him. He is very good at fighting, though. And check out how he deals with anxiety, by biting chunks off of a roll of some kind of meat. He keeps it in his refrigerator and gnaws on it when he’s worried about stuff. Who does that?
Evgeniya Kregzhde is quite enchanting as Olya. Her issues with her father help drive the story but not is all that it seems with her. You will laugh out loud during one sequence where we see what kind of shit she deals with in her day job. It’s disgusting, sure, but it’s also hilarious.
Mikhail Gorevoy gives the most complicated performance of the movie as Yevgenich, Andrey’s cop buddy. I’d imagine that an entire movie could be made out of his character’s situation. Gorevoy is amazing.
Elena Shevchenko as Tasha seems like a background character at most. She’s a part of the main story, yes, but she doesn’t seem to do much beyond listen to what everyone else is saying. Watch her right until the end. Her big moment will freak you out.
I loved Why Don’t You Just Die! Everything about it just works. It’s easily the best movie I’ve seen so far in 2020. If you’re a fan of dark comedy thrillers and just well-made movies, be sure to see Why Don’t You Just Die! It is well worth your time.
See Why Don’t You Just Die!. See it, see it, see it. I want to watch it again right now.
So what do we have here?
Dead bodies: 7
Explosions: None.
Nudity?: None.
Doobage: Button pushing, a hammer, a Batman sweatshirt, a woman with a giant dog, door lock hooey, Russian food eating, double barrel shotgun, hammer throwing, exploding wall, multiple head slams into a shelf, TV hooey, a giant kick, wall smashing, head butts, Samoan drop out of nowhere, attempted sleeper hold, arm biting, testicle punching, monkey flip hooey, table destruction, slow motion TV throwing, face smashing, attempted feet tickling, hand smelling, slow motion stovetop tea making (I’m assuming that’s what it is), deliberate finger burning, a disturbing story, bathroom bondage, sewing needle hooey, gross tongue usage, lock picking, more head bashing, torture, face spitting, leg drilling, a slow motion American money burning montage, handcuff hooey, attempted neck breaking, serious barfing, a dismembered corpse, a severed head, burrito eating, a bag of money, a metal pipe beating, an incredibly dangerous heart stopping game that dipshit kids play because they’re dipshits, kid dropping, coffee cup to the head, a Mexican standoff, bullet to the shoulder, total midsection destruction, guts, shocking sexual harassment, spaghetti eating, a shocking decision, cigarette smoking, meat eating, and a satisfying finale.
Kim Richards?: Almost. It’s in one of the flashbacks.
Gratuitous: A Flann O’Brien quote, a Batman sweatshirt, a big fight in an apartment, multiple tutorials on how to pick the lock on a pair of handcuffs, “Fuck You” by the Hatters, meat eating, a gross scumbag rich guy, an incredibly dangerous heart stopping game that dipshit kids play because they’re dipshits, a kid wearing an Iron Maiden T-shirt, amateur theater, a Russian I.D., cops, and a satisfying finale.
Best lines: “Tell me about your friend,” “Whatever a man does, what matters is that he’s serious about it, right?,” “You enjoy screwing her? What?,” “I want you to kill a man for me,” ‘Tasha, how dumb are you? Burn it all,” “Fuck!,” “Fine, I’ll call Yevgenich. He’ll help me out,” “Don’t do anything stupid,” “So much for justice,” “She’s beautiful. Not my type,” “Stop that crying. This is bad enough as is!,” “So, you want to show your daughter a body you destroyed which, most likely, belongs to her boyfriend?,” “Did you see anything? Is there something… after death? Yes, there is something. There is something. Can’t remember what. Andrey, there is something. Something my ass. And don’t listen to him. He’s fucked in the head! Why give him water? He’s finished!,” “You shouldn’t have done that, Andrey,” “And so I’ve lived to see my death,” “Can you give me a hand job? You know, jerk me off?,” “Is this about money?,” “Finally together as a family,” “Don’t make a sound,” “My period started all of a sudden so this is bad timing,” “Where does he get the strength?,” “Pretty dumb. I’m amazed you didn’t get smarter with age,” “I’m dying. Yes. I’m sorry. That’s okay,” and “Evil won’t touch me.”
