411’s ECW on SyFy Report 01.05.10

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to 411’s ECW of SyFy Report. Your regular recapper for ECDub, Michael Bauer, is out of action this week, so it is my pleasure to join you.

The show opens with Christian Cage making his way to the ring, ECW Title belt in tow. Our announcers inform us that, as a result of the ECW Homecoming gimmick that has been running for the last several weeks, the champ will have eight potential challengers for the title at the end of this week’s episode.

Christian grabs the microphone and tells us that this will be the final evening of qualifying for Homecoming and confirms that the winner of the tournament will face him for the championship at the Royal Rumble. However, before he can get any further, he is interrupted by CM Punk’s music. Punk is accompanied by Luke Gallows, his Slammy, and his ever more impressive beard. Before he can get too far into his promo, though, he notices Christian chuckling and asks Captain Charisma what’s so funny. The cocky Canadian tells us that he saw something that he never thought that he would see when Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart embraced on Monday Night Raw twenty-four hours ago, and now he is seeing something that he never wanted to see, namely Punk returning to ECW. The Second City Saint brushes off Christian’s comments, though, claiming that he will win Homecoming and the ECW Title to prove that “straight edge means I’m better than you.” He also ties his gimmick into to the premise of ECW, as he states that the brand is the home of WWE’s up-and-coming superstars and that he will be able to show them the way.

At this point, Cage has had enough of the loud-mouthed heel’s antics, predicting that he will be “squashed” by his opponent Mark Henry and further saying that Punk “doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t do drugs, and won’t beat him for the ECW Title.”

Match Numero Uno: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. in an ECW Homecoming Qualifying Match

Chavo opens up the match with forearms to his opponent’s shoulders, backing him into the corner and laying in some fists to the head. Shelton takes the advantage when the referee pulls Guerrero out of the corner, peppering his own opponent with fists. Benjamin misses a charge in the opposite corner, after which Eddie’s nephew tries for Three Amigos. Shelton blocks the third vertical suplex, though, then hitting a German for a nearfall. The University of Minnesota graduate attempts to toss Chavito from the ring, but Guerrero catches him with a shot to the leg and works over the knee for a bit before stomping away on Benjamin’s torso. The former Cruiserweight Champion goes out to the arena floor and stretches the Gold Standard’s leg out over the bottom rope before slingshotting back into the ring with the somersault senton on to the outstretched limb. A leglock is next from the Mexican warrior, but Shelton kicks his way out of it and hits his big windmill kick. He sells his leg after performing that maneuver, but the bad knee doesn’t prevent him from planting Guerrero with a back body drop. Benjamin tries to stay on his opponent, but Chavo grabs his leg as Shelton walks toward him, applying the old Lance Storm rolling half crab and looking for a submission.

Benjamin escapes that hold with a fancy reversal, but he can’t capitalize and Guerrero takes him down with a swank satellite headscissors before heading up to the top rope. Chavo doesn’t manage to land whatever high risk move he was looking for, though, as Benjamin cuts him off. Seconds later, the former World’s Greatest Tag Team member hits the Paydirt to take home the victory.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin via pinfall

Our hosts Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton throw to a recap of last week’s ECW main event, in which Zach Ryder defeated Tommy Dreamer to end the latter man’s WWE career. Highlights of Tommy’s post-match speech also air. With the replay out of the way, Ryder and Rosa Mendes make their way out to the stage for an interview. Ryder says that destroyed the heart and soul of ECW, meaning that the brand is now all about him. Zach then leaves, ending his promo about thirty seconds after it started.

Bret Hart’s two segments from last night’s episode of Monday Night Raw are replayed in highlight reel form.

Match Numero Dos: Ezekiel Jackson w/ William Regal vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Prior to the match, footage from three weeks ago is shown, featuring William Regal choosing Jackson over a Kozlov in a match between the two and allowing Zeke to win before joining him in a post-match beatdown on the Russian.

The two men attempt to lock up to open the bout, but it goes nowhere. They then head to the mat, with Vlad taking down his opponent before Jackson goes to the ropes to escape his clutches. Kozlov hits Jackson with a kick, which causes Jackson to jump backwards through the ropes and land on the arena floor. That one looked ridiculously phony. Jackson eats some kicks from Kozlov when he returns to the ring but absorbs them and largely controls the match, eventually going after the freshly-minted American citizen’s knee and slamming it into the ringpost. Ezekiel clips the leg when he returns to the ring and drops some elbows on it, after which he wraps it around the middle rope. Vlad sells the knee heavily before Jackson drops Kozlov’s outstretched leg over his shoulder. A leglock is applied by Spanky’s former bodyguard, but he tries to turn it into a figure four and gets kicked out of the ring again in the process. Kozlov slams Jackson when he reenters the squared circle and hits a lariat and then a series of shoulder tackles in the corner. Zeke responds with a kneelift, a lariat, and a brainbuster in short order. That sets up his uranage, and Jackson gets the surprising clean victory.

After the bell, Big Zeke slams his former tag team partner’s face into the canvas at the urging of William Regal.

Winner: Ezekiel Jackson via pinfall

Backstage, Mark Henry is warming up when he is met by his old manager Tony Atlas. The World’s Strongest Man declines Atlas’ offer to accompany him to the ring this evening for old time’s sake.

Match Numero Tres: CM Punk w/ Luke Gallows, Slammy, Beard vs. Mark Henry in an ECW Homecoming Qualifying Match

Punk begs off of his much larger opponent almost immediately after the bell rings, after which he attempts a go behind. Henry easily escapes and hits a hiptoss. The ROH alumnus unloads with some kicks to the ribs, but the Silsby native grabs his leg on the last in the combination and tosses him over the top rope. That leads us into a commercial break. When we return from the ads, Henry has taken down Punk with a clothesline, which again sends the Straight Edger to the floor. This time, Henry follows, which gives Punk an opening to drop toe hold him down on to the steel steps. Punk rolls back in under the bottom rope, urging the official to count his opponent out of the ring more quickly. The former Nation member beats the count easily and is quickly stomped away at by Punk, who gets a nearfall. Some Dusty Rhodes-esque bionic elbows (sans dancing) are next from the Chicagoan, after which he connects with the Rude Awakening for a two count. Punk unloads with right hands and then applies a figure four headscissors. He makes the hold even more dangerous, continuing to elbow Henry in the head as it is applied.

Eventually Punk relinquishes the hold and the World’s Strongest Man gets up to his knees, at which point Punk connects with several straight kicks across the big man’s chest. The Pepsi aficionado pulls down his knee pads and attempts to use that joint to his advantage, but Henry hulks up and flattens his man with an avalanche in the corner. A second attempt at the move backfires, though, with Punk dodging and hitting his kneelift in the corner. Punk tries to follow with his usual bulldog, but Mizark shoves him off. Punk almost collides with the referee, and the distraction this creates allows Luke Gallows to cheapshot Mark Henry. That leaves Henry off balance, giving Punk the opportunity to connect with a roundhouse kick to the head to earn the three count.

Winner: CM Punk

The show closes with a rundown of the Homecoming battle royale competitors next week, namely Punk, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Vance Archer, Yoshi Tatsu, Ezekiel Jackson, and Kane.

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