411’s Instant Analysis 07.16.12: WWE Monday Night Raw

Welcome to this week’s Instant Analysis of Monday Night Raw. I’m your humble reviewer, Chad Nevett and it’s the final two-hour episode of Raw for the next while. It’s also the show to follow up Money in the Bank and everyone expects John Cena’s big announcement tonight to be a challenge to CM Punk for the WWE Championship. Hell, today, I did an impromptu ‘Cena promo’ doing just that coming home from work and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was pretty close, almost word for word. And, yet, I’d be quite pleased with that. Surprising is overrated and so is the typical Cena hate. Then again, maybe he’ll surprise us all. Let’s get to it…

SEGMENT ONE: Some Harsh Truths to Begin the Show

In this episode, sandwiched between a PPV and a big ‘event episode,’ it’s hard to tell what they’ll do. From the looks of it, we’re getting a mini filler feud between CM Punk and the Big Show. Their back-and-forth promo was a little odd. Punk did his best to remind us all that the Big Show, for all his size and power, is, basically, a glorified jobber when the match actually counts for anything. Meanwhile, the Big Show did his best to remind us that we don’t actually care about any of these performers, because we’ll just keep watching whether they’re there or not. Also, John Cena is the man the company revolves around and, if you’re not him, you’re screwed. I can’t find any fault with any of those things. The Big Show is booked like a jobber when the match matters, we will watch no matter what, and the company revolves around John Cena. None of which made me really care about CM Punk fighting the Big Show. Was that supposed to be the goal?

Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT TWO: WWE Tag Team Championship Match – Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (C) vs. the Prime Time Players
Match Result: R-Truth pinned Titus O’Neil
Match Length: A little under eight and a half minutes

It occurs to me that the top four tag teams in the WWE right now are all comprised of non-white wrestlers. Given the state of the WWE tag team division, I can’t tell if that can be seen as a good thing for racial equality or not. Anyway, this seems like a missed opportunity. It seems like the Prime Time Players have been the number one contenders for longer than you would assume given the low profile of the tag titles and, in that time, you’d expect the pair to be built up. Instead, they’ve run away from matches and even lost on pay-per-view last night. So, their losing here isn’t a big surprise, nor does it seem like they were cheated tonight. It seems like a missed chance to build these two up and actually do something with them. We don’t care about tag team wrestling because the WWE doesn’t care about tag team wrestling because we don’t care about tag team wrestling… Decent match, but who cares.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT THREE: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder
Match Result: A minute and a half
Match Length: Alberto Del Rio made Zack Ryder tap out

Zack Ryder… from Smackdown General Manager to guy who makes Alberto Del Rio look good after losing last night before Rey Mysterio makes him look bad tonight. The match was all set up for Mysterio returning and it showed.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

SEGMENT FOUR: Heath Slater vs. Rikishi
Match Result: Rikishi pinned Heath Slater
Match Length: A bit over a minute

I do love a four-move match: superkick, Stinkface, Samoan Spike, Banzai Drop. Heath Slater? Squashed. And the post-match dance with father and sons was a fantastic touch. Pure feel good entertainment and it succeeded at its goal.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT FIVE: Daniel Bryan & AJ vs. The Miz & Eve
Match Result: AJ pinned Eve
Match Length: A little under three minutes

The match wasn’t anything special. The Miz tried to work the stipulation to his and Eve’s advantage before it screwed him and Eve over. Very simply story, but one appropriate for a three-minute match. They even worked in AJ helping Daniel Bryan and Bryan helping her, which fed into Bryan confessing his love for AJ and asking her to marry him. Which was odd. AJ showed a lot of emotion and kept things somewhat mysterious until she finally gave in. It seems like an abrupt switch/overly soap operatic of a move, but, thinking about it, it does fit into the larger story of the two. Or, I’m trying to justify a weird, screwed up segment. Either one works for me. And the announcement that the wedding will happen next week fits their collective insanity.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

SEGMENT SIX: Jack Swagger vs. Ryback
Match Result: It never got started
Match Length: None

An interesting little non-match that actually made both men look good. By being the last man standing, Ryback continued his dominance streak and showed that he can take a bit of a beating. By actually laying down a bit of a beating on Ryback and looking like he had a shot at being the first guy to walk away from Ryback without getting squashed, Jack Swagger actually came out of this a little better than he went in. Obviously, Ryback got the bigger rub out of the two, but this was a smart bit of booking.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

SEGMENT SEVEN: Has Jericho Lost His Touch? I Think Jericho’s Lost Hi–CODEBREAKER!

This was a beginning to end great segment. Vickie’s introduction and echoing was entertaining, while Ziggler’s verbal dissection of Jericho was masterful. It would have been a little better if we hadn’t already had CM Punk deliver a variation on this idea to the Big Show earlier. Jericho’s reactions were excellent — from an almost jokey nodding to a deadly serious stare that was shooting daggers before he eventually just hit the Codebreaker. Ziggler, though, really impressed me. He really got into the zone there and took his time with his promo. He didn’t rush it, he made it count, and the prospect of a feud between these two is nothing but exciting. If you want someone to make Ziggler look ready to be champion, I can’t think of a better choice than Jericho. Easily, the best part of a mediocre show to this point.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

SEGMENT EIGHT: Brodus Clay vs. JTG
Match Result: Brodus Clay pinned JTG
Match Length: Two and a half minutes

You know what would have been great? We get the introduction of Brodus Clay, go to commercial, and, when we come back, something entirely different. Let’s be honest: Clay’s introduction is what we all like most. Because this match was rather uninspiring. You knew how it was going to end and every bit of offense that JTG got only delayed that inevitable ending. Just let the Funkasaurus dance… who needs anything else?

Rating: 4.5 out of 10

SEGMENT NINE: CM Punk vs. the Big Show
Match Result: CM Punk won via disqualification
Match Length: A little under nine and a half minutes

I really liked this match more and more as it went. The Big Show was seemingly unstoppable, while CM Punk was seemingly unbeatable. Punk just kept coming and finding new ways to somehow get the advantage over the Big Show despite Show’s near complete dominance for most of the match. Part of what helped was Punk playing to the crowd a bit more. It sold the monster/giant nature of the Big Show even more. This guy is so big and powerful that Punk is repeatedly shocked and struggles to figure out a way to get the job done. The trio of high knees in the corner was a smart variation and the DQ finish led perfectly into John Cena coming out…

John Cena’s announcement was telegraphed fairly well and, yet, it fits his character perfectly. Nothing about Cena would lend itself to cashing Money in the Bank in like anyone else, especially when the Big Show is goading him on to do it right there and then. Not surprising in any way, but true to his character and I’d rather see that than a nonsensical swerve meant to suprise. Plus, the Money in the Bank gimmick needs something a little different and this different compared to the standard cash-in. And, of course, Raw 1000 demands it.

Rating: 8.0 out of 10

FINAL THOUGHTS Segment of the Night: Dolph Ziggler breaks down Chris Jericho Trash Segment of the Night: Brodus Clay vs. JTG Final Analysis: Pretty much the sort of show you expect between a PPV and a big show like the 1000th episode of Raw. Part filler, part fallout, part setup, not a lot that will impress. But, there were a couple of notable highlights: Dolph Ziggler’s awesome work on the mic and the main event/Cena announcement. Both were good in and of themselves, while also setting up future events. The Daniel Bryan/AJ thing was just strange, while the rest of the show was largely forgettable. Not the best show to end the two-hour era, but we’ve had worse. Verdict: 6.5 411 RATINGS SCALE: 0 – 0.9: Torture 1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous 2 – 2.9: Very Bad 3 – 3.9: Bad 4 – 4.9: Poor 5 – 5.9: Not So Good 6 – 6.9: Average 7 – 7.9: Good 8 – 8.9: Very Good 9 – 9.9: Amazing 10: Virtually Perfect

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