411’s NWA TNA PPV Report 04.14.04

This is Dave Gagnon, this is TNA, April 14th 2004.

I am sorry for last week’s lackluster report but I was again pretty depressed. Thankfully, those problems are now solved and I can move on.

About Eugene: people, please take a chill pill. Everybody is up in arms about a rather harmless character. I am not saying that it’s great entertaining stuff but I don’t think that it’s as offensive as some people might suggest. On the other hand, you gotta give it to WWE. They gave the titles to Eddie and Benoit but they decided to give something to the smarks to complain.

We are live from Nashville. Speaking of Nashville, who predicted Nashville in 7 against Detroit in the 411 Black NHL Playoffs Preview? Yeah, you people were laughing but now the series is 2-2. Now that Montreal will probably lose against Boston, I can only hope one thing: Ottawa beats Toronto. Please guys, make it happen or Randle will remind me every single week that he was right and I was wrong.

We start the show with a recap of recents events…in spanish! Solamente TNA puede ser tan idiota. Deberнa entender l’opportunite d’util una palabra vulgar. ЎCPUTA DE MIERDA! Aaaaah, el crimen perfecto.

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and SCREAMIN’ DON WEST.

Jeff Jarrett opened the show by saying the same stuff he always says. He is not in my league, I don’t care who is the number one contender, blah blah blah. Jeff Jarrett: “Honest to God, we’ll get a TV deal soon. Really. We mean it this time. And if I lie, I promise to you, the loyal customers, that I will remain champion and burying people until we have one. That’s the kind of dedication that I have for this company”.

First Match: Jeff Jarrett -vs- James Storm.
A long brawling sequence in the beginning of the match. Nice looking spot: At one point they were brawling up the stairs and James Storm skinned the cat over the rail. They fought back to ringside before Storm slipped on an announce table spot. It was one of some blown spots during the match. The crowd thought that he was injured but the match continued. From there, the match went in the ring and was better. Storm had a lot of nearfalls on Jarrett, including one with a diamond cutter from the middle rope. Storm hit a tornado reverse ddt but Jarrett once again kicked out. Jarrett went from the stroke but it got countered. This gave the opportunity to Storm to go for the eight second ride but Jarrett countered. The ref got bumped. Jarrett went for the sledgehammer…err…the guitar but took a sweet chin mus…err…a superkick. There was no ref to count the pinfall. Storm decided to use the guitar but the ref grabbed it. It distracted him, allowing Jarrett to deliver the stroke for the three count. Good match despite the blown spots.
WINNER: JEFF JARRETT

After the match Jarrett hit Storm’s leg with a chair, and put him in the figure four leg lock. Chris Harris ran in for the save, but Raven interfered. He then slammed Harris into two chairs.

Backstage, Scott Hudson was with Johnny Swinger. Glenn Gilberi and David Young were also there and Gilberti urged Young to finally win a match.

Gilberti: Please, win a match. You’re really embarassing.
Young: When’s the last time you won a match?
Gilberti: Well, uh…
Young: You even lost to Jacqueline.
Gilberti: Yeah but I was once the no.1 contender for the NWA world title.
Young: Because you were in the booking staff.
Gilberti: Listen, if you don’t win you’ll become a jobber. You know what happens to jobber?
Eugene: EUGENE!
Gilberti: Exactly.
Young: Oh god.
Eugene: …….I EAT TOOTHPASTE!
Gilberti: Yeah, Nick. You are a trooper.

2nd Match: Frankie Kazarian -vs- That Poor Guy Sonjay Dutt .
The match was for the X Title, even though Dutt never won a match. I was hoping for the upset of the century but it didn’t happen. Great spotfest but the crowd didn’t care. The crowd really changed since ICP is gone. Kazarian killed Dutt with a belly to belly suplex outside of the ring. Dutt came back with some offense (including a 619) but Kazarian pretty much dominated. He killed Dutt (again) with a slingshot DDT. Dutt kicked out of the “back to the future”. Kazarian hit a swingboard twisting leg drop. He got Dutt on the ropes and hit the flux capacitor but Dutt barely kicked out. That’s awesome stuff but the crowd really wasn’t into it. Dutt came back with some offense but he missed the Hindu press, leading to “a wave to the future” by Kazarian for the pin.
WINNER: Frankie Kazarian

After the match Kazarian talked to the crowd. He said he wanted his spot on the America’s X Cup team. And now it’s time for…

WCW 2000 REVISITED
In the role of Kevin Nash: Abyss
In the role of the helpless cruiserweights: Frankie Kazarian and Sonjay Dutt.

Abyss came out and destroyed both guys.

It was…WCW 2000 REVISITED.

3rd Match: Simon Diamond -vs- Johnny Swinger
Anybody remember their first match a couple of weeks ago? Of course not, it lasted a couple of minutes and nobody cared. The problem is that there’s way too many tag team breakups these days. And most of the time, these guys are better with each other than against each other. Seriously, can you imagine the matches between Ax and Smash? Or how about the rivalry between Hawk and Animal? Sorry for the little rant there. Back and fourth match with good energy but the crowd doesn’t care. Gilberti tried to interfere several times, but to no avail. In the end, David Young tried for a run in but nailed Swinger by accident. Diamond superkicked Young, then finished Swinger with the most dangerous move in the business: the rollup.
WINNER: Simon Diamond

After the match, heel beatdown on the faces.

Backstage, Scott Hudson was with Three Live Krew. They want Killings to have his shot at the NWA World Hvt. Title.

B.G. James: The 3LK wants the R to the O to the N Killings to get his shot at the NWA Title for shizzle at the PPV, so now how you gonna act, fool?

Konnan: Psssst. You’re white.

B.G James: Oops, my bad.

4th Match: Monty Brown vs Sabu in an Extreme Rules Match.
Extreme Rules Match = Extreme Mess? The match started in the ring with *gasp* actual wrestling. Sabu hit his usual offense, even used the chair on a couple of occasions. They brawled all the way back to the old S.E.X. locker room. Abyss was there (Abyss is everywhere). Abyss powerbombed Sabu through a table. I think it would make a much more interesting feud than Brown/Sabu. Abyss then brawled with Brown. Brown tackled Sabu for the pin. This feud has “styles clash” written all over it. It also has “blown spots”, “Monty Brown is not ready” and “Is it just me or TNA just doesn’t have anything for Sabu?” written all over it.

5th Match: Apollo & D-Lo Brown -vs- Kid Kash & Dallas for the the NWA-TNA Tag Titles.
What a weird tag team match. Apollo is, of course, the artist formerly known as El Leon. Bad match. Even Kid Kash and D-Lo Brown were dissapointing. Once again, a couple of blown spots. If they do have a TV deal someday, they’ll have the luxury of editing bad spots. But then again, I’ll probably be married to Jennifer Love Hewitt and the Maple Leafs will have the time to win a Stanley Cup before this happens. Dallas barely worked in the match. I have a feeling that he won’t be in TNA for long. Highlight of the match was a nice TKO by Apollo on Kash. In the end Dallas took a pipe into the ring and got disqualified. The belt was awarded to D-Lo Brown and Apollo as is the way in TNA. Dallas was shocked, not knowing that rule. And, quite frankly, even I didn’t know that rule! This is the Quebec Rules that helped The Quebecers win the WWF tag team titles.

A.J. Styles wanted to take Harris’ place in the #1 contender match since he was hurt. Russo denied.

Backstage, Scott Hudson was with Raven, who was ready for his #1 contender match. Sabu was banging things in the locker room behind them. Raven claimed that Sabu had his back.

Main Event: Chris Harris -vs- Raven for the #1 contendership.
After several weeks, the road to the tallest cage in the world ends.Harris came out bandaged and selling the earlier attack from Raven. The match had a slow start. Then they had a long sequence outside of the ring. The brawl went back and fourth until Raven hit the Russian leg sweep into the barricade. Raven worked Harris’ shoulder throughout the match, even using the chicken wing crossface a couple of times. James Storm came out to defend Harris but Sabu ran in to support Raven. From there, the match really took off with back and fourth exchanges and great wrestling. Nice dragon sleeper reversal from Harris on Raven’s submission attempt. They were exhausted and did some desperation moves before the ref got bumped. Harris missed his spear and crack himself on a chair propped into the corner. He tried the spear again, got it but there was no ref. Raven used this opportunity to hit the low blow but his Evenflow DDT got reversed into a quick cradle for a pinfall. Pretty good match. Jarrett watched from the ramp. Raven was devastated. Harris stared at Jarrett. Russo came in to congratulate Harris.
WINNER: Chris Harris

You almost have the feeling that Chris Harris will get the NWA World Hvt. Title but then you realize that he’ll probably lose to Jarrett.

Pretty good show tonight. I hope you enjoyed the report, I’ll see you next week.

Gags