411’s TNA Impact Report 2.08.07

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 3R’s!

TNA Impact Begins…NOW!

-We get a video recap of last week’s show.

-Abyss and James Mitchell make their way to the ring.

Chase “Me Za Gonna Die” Stevens vs. Abyss w/James Mitchell

Abyss attacks before the bell. He has a new mask because Sting stole the old one, not very Christian! West makes mention of Steven wearing the Franchised Naturals tights. Steven leaps off the top, hits the ropes but walks into the black hole slam for the 3 count.

Winner: Abyss @ 0:43 via pin

-Andy Douglas, who I thought was fired runs down and Abyss gives him the shock treatment. Tough luck bitch.

-Sting is on the video screen. He is wearing Abyss’ old mask, he welcomes the challenge for the PPV. Saying says Abyss was hiding behind the mask, and now it is time for him to be freed of it. Mitchell is standing in his way, but he will witness end times. Sting says they are coming to the end of the journey and Abyss will find that out.

-After the opening deal Tenay and West now welcome us to the show.

-Here are the text message poll results regarding who the consultant is:
34% – None of the above
30% – Goldberg
26% – Brock Lesnar
10% – Samoa Joe

-Leticia is with Angle and Joe. Joe says he has been called a liar, which he says he isn’t. They may hate each other, but Joe has an investment in Angle. He will neutralize Tomko at the PPV and tonight he will have his back; Angle has to do the rest. Angle says he knows Joe’s agenda, and Joe will get his title shot as long as things go the right way. Angle then says he wants to see what the consultant taught him. He also wants to kick both of their asses tonight. HUMBLE THEM~!

-Back from commercial and Tomko is all pissed backstage. Dealing with “That guy” is worse than dealing with Cage. Cage says Tomko is a tough son of a bitch and after the PPV, it will be back to the ay things have always been. Take the night off big man.

-We get a video package for LAX vs. Team 3D. Devon says they would never disrespect family like LAX did. He promises hell to pay because it is now all about respect.

-Ray is in the ring and talks about being a Dudley. What most of you don’t know is my mom’s last name is Lamonico. I am half angry red neck and half pissed off Italian. LAX…you went after my family, my closest Uncle for no reason. You went to the family business and beat him down and we don’t know if he will be the same ever again. So do we continue to chase you for the tag titles…or…do we go for revenge. After discussing it with Devon, we choose revenge. You pissed us off. At AAO’s we will do it Italian Styles, in a Little Italy Street Fight. I will have your blood on my hands! I will beat you down gang style! I will leave you for the vultures and the dogs. When you mess with the family, someone will get wacked.

-Moody Jack with Konnan in a wheelchair make their entrance. Konnan tells everyone to go to hell, he likes himself, so listen up fat ass. Save the air for the blow up dolls. LAX is his family. Ray makes a joke about him walking, which he can’t. Konnan says his uncle got what he deserved. He says 3D will get a war, and they accept the challenge because they run the streets.

-Runt is out, and is yelling all drunk like, why is he here? LAX hits the ring and we have a brawl! LAX lays them out with some weapon shots. Cide chokes out Ray with a coat hanger as Hernandez slams his arm with a chair between the steps and the ring post. LAX is awesome.

-Leticia is with Hemme. She is proud of Hemme. Hemme says it doesn’t matter who her opponent is. She got the opportunity and will prove she can be a part of the company. VKM is here. Kip wants a lap dance. BG says his family watches the show and he won’t be here anymore with Kip. Kip offers up singles and says they aren’t worth $5.

-Back from commercial with a video package for AJ vs. Rhino. They will face at the PPV in a Motor City Chain Match…and there is a POLE INVOLVED!

-JB is with AJ. AJ says it is about time Angle and Joe made it to his level. No one cares about them. He was a triple crown winner, twice, and Angle has one gold medal. He makes fun of Joe being Samoan. He makes a bumblebee joke, did Lawler get a prescreening since he made these jokes Monday? AJ hasn’t forgotten about Rhino either. He will beat Rhino, as always. Cage is here, he likes AJ’s style. Tonight 4 of the biggest stars battle, but only one is Cage. He makes fun of Joe and Cage puts over AJ as being smart. He says they are the premiere athletes. And when Angle looks to tag Joe…he will have to think if he can trust him. Mr. Bob Backlund walks in with wacky sunglasses.

Rhino, Jerry Lynn & Senshi vs. Chris Sabin, Austin Starr & James Storm w/Miss Tennessee

Raven and Serotonin watch on from the crowd. Lynn and Storm kick it off. Sabin nails Lynn and Storm gets a side slam. Knee drop and Starr in and covers for 2. Storm dances with his hat on. Lefts by Starr now, Lynn battles back but Starr gets an STO. Spinning elbow drop misses, tag to Senshi. Chops to Starr, off the ropes and a clothesline by Senshi. Dropkick to Storm. ASAI Kick to Starr! Sabin in and Rhino as well. Sabin and Rhino to the floor as Senshi goes up top…Storm crotches him and Starr gets the Starr Buster and the pin.

Winners: Chris Sabin, Austin Starr & James Storm @ 2:13 via pin

-The heels celebrate as Storm tells Starr not to hug Miss Tennessee.

-Just over 3-minutes of wrestling in the first 30-minutes of programming for those keeping track.

-PCS is at the Nash clinic. Dutt and Lethal need a makeover and a circumcision. He made over Samoa Joe. He makes up a weird name, who he made into Sting. If they follow him they will succeed and have a doll. They want proof. Nash promises to help them both.

-Back from commercial and JB is backstage. Eric Young is with Brooks. They are half dressed; apparently they had…THE SEX! Brooks was thanking him. They are going out next Saturday. She thanks JB for helping him buy condoms. She loves him and they are going to seal the deal. Eric says she loves him and JB has her all wrong.

-Sting makes his way to the ring with his Abyss mask and there are prison props everywhere. Sting says the prison yard match is on. They drop the cage down. Sting says it means lust, greed and deception. This cage is what he calls living hell. Mitchell is in the cage all beat down. On Sunday, this will be the last time he sees Mitchell. Abyss is out and they brawl. Sting gets a chair and nails Abyss several times. Into the ring they go and more chair shots. He eventually misses and Abyss chokes him as Mitchell, through the cage, wraps a belt around his throat. Abyss takes his head off with a chair shot. Abyss releases Mitchell.

-We get another Fallen Angle video package. He doubted himself and his purpose. Now he sees the truth. Cool video package again.

-Back from commercial with a parody poster for Ron Killings in “Rocky VII.”

-Tickets go on sale for LOCKDOWN in St. Louis.

-They hype the PPV card.

-JB is with AJ Perzinski and Dale Torborg. They came as fans to TNA and those guys attacked them, so they will bring it to Hoyt. AJ is sick and tired of being blamed. He is always here, but where is Ekstein. Johnny Damon is here and lays out Torborg with a chair. He is the new backup for Hoyt.

Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles & Christian Cage w/Tomko

Impact jumpstart to begin things as they brawl. Joe and AJ pair off and begin the match officially. Joe walks away and AJ misses a dive. Tag to AJ and Cage is in. SNAP powerslam by Joe gets 2. Jabs by Joe, off the ropes and a running knee in the corner by Joe. Jabs again, AJ blind tags in and spring boards in with a huge forearm as we take a commercial break @ 1:25.

Back from commercial @ 4:29 with Cage beating down Joe. Joe battles back, off the ropes and Cage eats the STJOE~! Joe makes the tag to Angle and he cleans house. GERMAN to AJ! Another! One to Cage! A third to AJ turns him inside out! Angle tosses Cage and Angle Slam on AJ! 1…2…NO! Cage breaks it up. Joe in and AJ gets the PELE on Angle. AJ up top…Rhino is out and knocks him loopy, SUPER Angle slam and that is all.

Winners: Joe and Angle @ 6:27 via pin

-That would be about 6½ minutes of wrestling, minus commercials this week.

-Joe, Angle and Rhino celebrate. A masked man comes out with a pipe ad lays out Rhino and Joe. It is Scott Steiner! He and Angle brawl as Cage returns to help beat down Angle. AJ is here and they clean house on the faces. Cage and Steiner do push ups to mock Angle. AJ tosses the ref as Steiner gets the recliner with the pipe on Angle as Cage bad mouths him.

-Cage’s Coalition celebrate to end the show.

-We get the video recap to close the show and hype the PPV.

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 3R’s!