wrestling / TV Reports

411’s TNA Impact Report 9.22.16

September 22, 2016 | Posted by Aaron Scott
Cody Rhodes

Tonight, LASHLEY and The Miracle take on EC3 and Moose! In addition TNA is near purchase by President Billy Corgan, Brandi Rhodes has signed with Impact Wrestling and apparently “HE” is coming…

Bound For Glory looms closer and closer, we find out who will advance to the Finals of the Impact Grand Championship tournament, Aron Rex, Eli Drake, Eddie Edwards or Drew Galloway. Gail Kim has become the new number one contender as the Future Hall of Famer will take on Maria Kanellis Bennett at BFG. My name is Aaron, card subject to change, match times are not exact, join us right here on the 411 for your Official TNA Impact Report!

We start off the show, welcome everyone as we show the video from above, as the Hardys brawl with Decay! The Great War has been set! Lashley and EC3 fight during their press conference- leading to last week when Moose challenged Lashley to a fight. Miracle got involved to make it two on one and Carter returned to lay out the Champ!

We are in the Zone of Impact! And we start off with a match, it is Wronged Man DREW GALLOWAY to take on Eddie Edwards to see who will advance on to the Grand Championship Tournament. Impact President Billy Corgan has laid out the schematics, and we are down to our final four this is a Semi Finals Match.

Drew Galloway vs Eddie Edwards

Grand Championship Tournament Semi-Finals Match

Drew and Eddie trade chops and throws, Drew off the side to toss Eddie by the Overhead suplex, cover no.

Drew with the big ass chop and a slappy slap the chop once again. You’re gonna love his nuts. Eddie flies off the suplex attempt and kicks Drew off the side. Flying Dive by Eddie caught and gutwrenched upside down across the apron!

Drew Galloway setting up Eddie against the bottom rope and slap chops him across the floor! Inside cover and two. No!

Eddie cover no!

Eddie backslide on Drew no!

Eddie rolls over another TWO!!

Drew cuts him off, he snaps the suplex, floatover and second suplay, up and suplex to throw. Drew for the pin leg and no.

Ten Seconds, Galloway taken for the inside cradle no covers up as Galloway pummels his head. Bell!

Judges: Galloway 10, Galloway 10, Edwards 9

Bell starts and Eddie with the Yuge clothesline! Chop battle whoo!

Galloway elbow but caught upstairs, Eddie for the backpack stunner no HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP BY EDWARDS!!

Eddie in control and he recuperates to return to the top, caught by Drew and Galloway up top searching for a Celtic Cross? Drew attacking the back as both jockey for position no DREW sent back into the Tree of Woe!



Drew to the outside to try and gather his wits, Eddie SHOT OF CAFFEINE!!! The Suicide Dive!

Both men down on the outside….

The fans firmly behind Edwards, chanting his name and EDDIE AGAIN SECOND SUICIDE DIVE!!


Bell! Judges: Edwards 10, Edwards 10, Galloway 9

Drew charges to splash Eddie in the corner, dueling chants and Eddie taken over into the Rolling Half Crab no Drew rolls through and he manages into Iron Maiden!


Drew fighting free TOMBSTONE? EDDIE takes him over has the leg, single leg no! Kicked off by Dew and KICKS the man in the thigh and kick on his back into the jaw from the mat.

Chop Battle Whoo No. 2!

We are coming in to the end of Round Three with less than a minute to go, and Eddie slicing the chest and Drew screams at Eddie and takes the shots, Eddie collapses DREW RAZOR EDGES THE MAN INTO THE BUCKLES!



Ten Seconds to go, Drew rolls over, can he-

1! 2! BELL!!!

This match has went to the time limit.

Judges: Galloway 2/1, Edwards 2/1, Galloway 2/1

OFFICIAL RESULT: Galloway at 9:00, Judges’ Decision

Drew Galloway is going to Bound For Glory and the Finals. JB comes to the ring to ask Galloway if he prefers anyone at Bound For Glory. He says he is the same person, he is the number one soldier but he figured out how everything works. TNA is rigged, designed to favor certain people. But the rules won’t let that happen. So he tells EC3 and Lashley to get the match order changed because they won’t be able to follow Drew Galloway-

EC3 implores Drew to tread lightly. Galloway says Nashville is protecting him. He says when he is Champion, Carter doesn’t have to politic, he can have a shot, after he loses to Lashley. He says Carter can’t last two rounds and walks away.

EC3 says he can’t beat him in two rounds of verbal sparring. He can beat the man anytime, anywhere and

“Domination” kicks up over the PA system! The Champ walks out, a sideways look exchanged to Drew as Lashley MIKE BENNETT is attacking EC3


“Moose Nation” kicks up and Moose attacks Bennett! He tosses Lashley and rips Bennett around for The Gamebreaker! Bennett superkicks him!


Moose and Carter are left laying as Miracle and the Champ walk off celebrating.

Backstage Allie is setting up a mystery someone to help Maria work out in preparation for her upcoming match against Gail at BFG. She mocks Allie and calls her stupid once again. Poor little blonde girl.

Aron Rex and Eli Drake trade barbs in a promo for tonight’s Semi Finals match. Both are excellent talkers, they go over their first round wins and tonight say the other one is in their way come this match, the winner to face Drew in the Finals at BFG.

Backstage Lashley tells Bennett they are not best friends, he has no friends and don’t say that again. Bennett says don’t worry about Moose he will take care of him and Lashley will beat EC3. He says then maybe he can have a shot and Lashley tells him he shouldn’t want a title shot after what he just saw. Bennett says yes of course and just focus on tonight. Lashley isn’t impressed.

“Resurrection” by Sstaria heralds Aron Rex and Eli Drake has made it to the ring, and he wants the mic.

He sees across the ring “Dummy, Yeah!” standing in front of you, looking in those eyes is the man they call E Li DRAKE. He is the namer of dummies, and the perpetual motion of badassery. If you get too chatty, and you fly that tongue, you’re gonna a whole lot of pyrotechnic classery that you can’t handle.

Rex says he can eat alphabet soup and crap out better insults than Drake’s petty words. Welcome to the big leagues. Once upon a time an out of work Chippendales’ Dancer and a Muppet got busy and out comes Eli. He mocks his kneepads and audacity and that he calls everyone Dummies.


Eli ain’t happy the man is stealing his lines.

Aron is all kinds of great and wonderful. See this:

Eli Drake vs Aron Rex

Grand Championship Tournament Semi Finals Match

Big “Baby Oil” chants as Rex and Drake trade shots in the ring. Eli wraps the head as the fans get on him, Rex manages a series of shots and side russian legsweep. He goes for the elbow but Drake escapes.

Drake comes back with a flurry of offense himself but try as he might Rex stays in control. They follow to the floor as Rex beats into Eli and keeps momentum. Bell.

Judges: All Rex, 10 10 10.

Bell again and Eli attacks he hits the man right away, follows with a kick from the apron, a jumping hangman’s neckbreaker! DDT and almost a cover himself for the winning fall. Eli Blunt Force no thrown off and lands the tilt a whirl slam then an E LI DRAKE Elbow!

Bell! Judges: All Eli, 10 10 9

Bell! Drake attacks Rex, does the taunt, pickup no, Rex off the ropes spinning FOREARM! THE REVELATOR!!!

OFFICIAL RESULT: Aron Rex at 0:41, Revelator

Aron Rex advances to the finals to meet Drew Galloway to decide the new Impact Grand Champion.

Abyss is backstage saying they will end everything the Hardys stand for. Crazzy Steve says he can’t wait to wear their insides. Rosemary says she knows Reby’s weakness- and they notice Vanguard 1 has been watching!

Vanguard plays a hologram of Señor Benjamin! The gardener laughs, showing his “DELETE” shovel and Decay cannot grab Vanguard 1! Tremendous.

Backstage, Aron says winning his way to the finals says he will breathe easy when the tournament -DREW!

Galloway says relax. Unfortunately for him it will be his to win. Rex is furious, and says he will have a stay in the hospital. Drew smiles… and leaves.

CODY is coming to Bound For Glory.

Decay hold the ring for the Hardys

Rosemary screams! She says they don’t know what they’ve done! They aren’t afraid of them and they are sick of their games. The Great War transcends everything and will be the end of every last Hardy forever!

“DELETE!!” x10000

Abyss yells at them saying they’re zombie sheep! He screams at them to shut up! At the Great War Decay is gonna destroy what’s left of the Hardy legacy. And that! That! Will be beautiful.


Steve laughs! Sending your mechanical animal is a welcomed invitation. We do not fear the Great War. We embrace it! Welcome it with open arms. Because once the great war is over and the nature has taken its course, these zombie sheep and your broken brilliance will belong to


Decay laugh as Matt Hardy is in the stands!

You now exist in a broken universe! A universe that is magic! Vanguard 1, Skarsgard, and you wish for all to decay, and we must go to the Great War! I can bludgeon each of you and ageen, and ageen, and ageeen and ageeen until I DELETE your tag team title reign!

Matt waves his arms and the fans chant “DELETE!”

NERO has embraced his fate of being broken. At the Great War, they will twist your fate. You won’t be yourselves, Abyss you won’t be Beautiful! Steve you won’t be crazy! Rosemary you won’t be Rosey! You’ll fade away and classify yourselves as OBSOLETE!


Rosemary says they are the Death Dealers! There are two of them and three of Decay! Bring your great war, and it will be Bound For DECAY!

Matt says what a Delight! The seven deities have decreed that Decay are Bound For Glory! The lights go out and they come on and Steve and Abyss are tied to the corners!

REBY attacks Rosemary and almost gets her with the Twist of Fate! Reby challenges Rosemary saying you don’t mess with a Mother and her baby! And after next week, Rosemary’s mother will be without her baby! DELETE!!

That was amazing.

Backstage, Ethan Carter III psyches up Moose who is ready to rip into Bennett. He tells Moose he gets Lashley first and Moose says he will do whatever he wants. Carter is okay with this. Tonight our main event, tag team action, EC3 and Moose versus Lashley and Mike Bennett.

DJZ thanks everyone for supporting him. He says he’s done a lot of growing up and he finally has the X-Division title back, he will be the Champion that we deserve. He is going to be a fighting champion, so he throws down the open challenge!

“Self Made” kicks up as Trevor Lee accepts the challenge!

DJZ vs Trevor Lee

X-Division Title Match

Lee rushes in and attacks DJZ with attacks on the back. He wraps in the man to slow him down, earning a two count for his trouble. They get to brawling, Trevor goes for the apron punt but gets caught. DJZ SOMERSAULT PLANCHA OVER THE SIDE INTO EVERETT AND LEE!!!

Zema to the top and dropkick down into Lee! Whip and back elbow! DJZ manages the jawbreaker, leapfrog over and hits the back elbow off the second, leg is caught by Andrew!

LEE runs into Z! Sent over the edge and Z takes the shoulder, Lee up on the no cut off.

DJZ climbs up and leaping RANA OFF THE TOP!

DJZ rolling up and leaping DDT!!! The ZDT!


Eddie Edwards makes the save! He chases the Helms Dynasty away and throws out the challenge to DJZ! Zema can’t think of anyone more deserving, of course he accepts Eddie’s challenge!

Backstage Allie and Maria are shadowboxing, Allie says she got her a great workout partner. Maria says she hopes Allie didn’t mess this up too. Allie says she doesn’t always screw up and Maria says she doesn’t deserve accolades. Maria mocks her by saying she laid down for her and calls her stupid again. After tonight, everyone will see just how ready she is for Gail at Bound For Glory. Poor Allie.

Maria’s Public Workout

Maria yells at Allie and tells her to get out of her shot. Maria tells Sienna she is her enforcer and she will get a title shot eventually. She introduces herself, and says she is the greatest Knockouts Champion ever-


Maria says bring out her opponent and Allie introduces never mind. It’s Luscious Latasha who gets attacked by Sienna and put away by Maria. Maria demands another opponent and Allie tries to say she didn’t call anyone but here comes a pesky racist ninja.

Yup, it’s Gail Kim. She beats on Maria and then hits the Eat Defeat on Sienna. Kim will challenge Maria for the title at BFG.

And now, it’s time for your 411 Main Event.

Lashley & The Miracle vs EC3 & Moose

Bennett takes a powder as Moose and Carter run Lashley from the ring. Unsurprising says everyone.

Back from commercial as Lashley and Bennett are working over the ribs of Ethan Carter III. Carter its a jawbreaker and is taken into a spinebuster!

He sits up and Miracle sends him to the corner, kick to the ribs. Carter fights out of the corner, takes a shot and Bennett rushes to sock Lashley!

He has Carter’s leg and Ethan tags in to Moose!

Moose runs over Bennett and AVALANCHE!

Moose jumps to the second, to the top and CROSSBODY INTO MIRACLE!

Lashley charges and attacks Moose! Carter and Moose toss Lashley no Lashley hangs on! He pulls the ropes and Moose goes over the side, Carter sends Lashley after!

Bennett attacks Carter who kips over and sunset flip he PINS Bennett!

OFFICIAL RESULT: EC3 & Moose at 8:33, Sunset Flip

Bennett brawls with Moose in the aisle as Lashley and Carter go at it! Security rush in but get pummeled as finally the locker room and Pat Kenney’s pink shirt rush out to try and stop the fracas. Billy Corgan comes out and says no, and he is ruling there will be a Lethal Lockdown team versus team match next week to decide the stip for the BFG main event!

For 411, this has been Aaron saying thank you for reading, please sign off in the comments and remember to join us each and every Thursday Night at 8PM Est/9PM Central as we bring you Impact LIVE Reporting. Look for Csonka’s Impact Review as we approach Bound For Glory on October 2nd, 2016. Take care and see you next time for the TNA Impact Report.