wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE Main Event Report 3.13.13
Aye-O! What’s up guys? It’s Michael Benjamin here with another 411 Main Event report! If you send this report to 15 people, your crush will kiss you tonight! (Send it to 50 and you’ll get an HJ!)
SHOW… ON!
WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane
– PYRO~!
– Michael Cole and the Miz welcome us to the show from ringside. It looks like we’re cutting straight to the chase, as Ricardo Rodriguez announces Alberto Del Rio. That’s how I like to start an episode of Main Event. Aw, he grabbed a mic.
– He says that he’s going to show us something funny before almost botching the name of the town they’re in. He says that while Swagger’s words are hurtful and demeaning, they’re really funny sometimes. He shoots us to… the same video they showed us on Smackdown? K. Here comes the Big Show. Lets get this damn match going.
Here we go! These guys are physical right out of the gate. Alberto hits an assisted lung blower off of the second rope as Jack Swagger strolls down the ramp!
Big Show’s delivering the overhand SHH chops to Alberto Del Rio in the corner as we return from commercial break. Jack Swagger’s presence was enough to throw ADR off of his game. Alberto is working over Big Show’s left arm. Show decides that he’s going to target ADR’s left arm as well. He locks in an arm bar of his own as the crowd rallies Alberto to his feet with a Si chant! HURRICANRANA BY ALBERTO! Show kicks out at two! Alberto doesn’t let up and delivers a stomping. He catches Big Show with a HUGE kick to the face for two. He locks Big Show in the cross arm breaker but Big Show lifts ADR up and drops him over the top rope! Sick. Big Show breaks the count by interrupting the ref and Swagger attacks ADR on the outside! The ref ends up seeing and calls for the bell. Weak finish. Other than that though, these two have great chemistry. I’m sure that with another five minutes they could have really delivered a great match. We must make time for The Usos though.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Big Show @ 8:30 via count out
RATING: **
We join 3MB’s entrance in progress. McIntyre has injured ribs so it’s debatable that he’s in the match opposed to Jinder Mahal, worked or not. The Usos hit some nice double team moves on Heath to start things off. All within the rules of course! Mahal pulls the bottom rope down and Jimmy Uso goes over the top. BOOO! Drew lifts him up and drops him face first on the apron outside of the ring. Back inside and we get a near fall. In comes Slater and he’s jukin’ and jivin’ before knocking down Jey with a jab to the face. Slater locks in a headlock to maintain control and Jey Uso powers out! He delivers a couple of clotheslines and a Samoan Drop before the tag. Boom! Ass to the face by Jimmy Uso. Jimmy goes upstairs and hits a nice splash off of Jeys shoulders for three, Every time an Uso made a tag, Cole or Miz just said “and here comes the Uso’s”. That doesn’t even make grammatical sense. They didn’t call Jimmy or Jey’s first name once during the entire match.
OFFICIAL RESULT: The Usos @ 4:10 via count out
RATING: *
– We get a Cena/Rock 2 promo video… And of course, by the end of the video I want to see the match more than ever.
– Miz and Cole take us back to Brock Lesnar completely demolishing the Outlaws on Raw. Lesnar looks like he’s in the best shape he’s been in during his current WWE run.
– Wade Barrett is walking. Look at Barrett… Walking. He’s walking at the camera on wheels that he can’t catch up to. I wonder if he thinks he will one day? Nobody catches up, Perhaps nobody can…
Lets just keep throwing these guys together until we can get another Nexus chant going again. AMIRITE? No? Fuck you. Before the match officially starts, they announce Henry vs. Ryback on Smackdown. They circle to start and Barrett gets the early advantage with some high knees. Gabriel uses his speed to his advantage and quickly escapes the bare knuckle offense of Barrett, attempting a schoolboy. ONE… TWO… NO! Barrett gets back in control rather quickly and drops Gabriel chest first on the top turnbuckle before delivering a nice kick to the mid-section. Barrett goes for the cover but Gabriel kicks out at two. Barrett applies a headlock and Gabriel is quick to fight his way out with elbows and strikes to the abdomen. Gabriel hits an outside crescent kick and goes for a 450! Barrett makes it to his feet and Gabriel drops down to the mat in an attempt to evade the Bull Hammer. Wade whips him into the adjacent corner and delivers the Bull Hammer, despite Gabriel’s best efforts, for a quick win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Wade Barrett @ 5:20 via pinfall
RATING: *3/4
– After the match, Wade continues his little rivalry with Miz by holding up his championship in front of the announce booth. I love how Miz just jumps from one midcard title to the other. Kofi may be a trend setter.
RAW REBOUND: We get a recap of the Taker/Punk stuff from Monday. I wonder how this build was scripted before Paul Bearer’s unfortunate passing? Just less interesting?
OVERALL: We had a decent episode of Main Event tonight. There was nothing good enough to go out of your way for. I’ll see you guys on Friday for Smackdown. As always, thank you for reading.
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