411’s WWE Raw Report 01.19.04

411’s WWE Raw Report 01.19.04
Live From Green Bay, Wisconsin
Announcers are JR and The King
Report done EXCLUSIVELY for 411Mania by Jacob Ziegler

We open with a tribute to Martin Luther King Jr.

Coach is talking to the 15 Raw representatives that are going to be in the Royal Rumble. Coach announces that there will be a match to determine who will be #30 in the Rumble. Jericho asks for his Survivor Series favor, and his screaming “it’s my favor, I can ask for it if I want to!” totally makes this segment. Coach is the interim GM tonight while Bischoff is out of town. Each of these 15 guys are in matches, and the winners go to a battle royal later tonight, the winner of which will be #30. The first of these matches is next! Good opening.

Rob Van Dam & Booker T vs. Christian & Matt Hardy

RVD and Matt start, doing RVD’s usual thing. Booker and Christian come in and have their usual match. Back body drop gets two for Booker. Booker takes out Hardy as well. Booker goes for the scissors kick, but Hardy breaks it up. Christian goes to work on the neck. Two count for Christian. Matt gets the side effect for two. Christian comes back in and goes back to work. Crowd chants “Christian sucks.” RVD comes back in and is the house-a-fire. Rolling thunder is countered by Hardy for a near fall. Christian and Hardy double team RVD and go for a double back body drop, but Booker hits a double scissors kick instead. RVD hits the 5-star on Hardy for the victory. Energetic and fun.
WINNERS – Rob Van Dam & Booker T

The Goldberg vs. Steiner match has been changed to a triple threat involving Test in another advancement match.

Ad for Chavo vs. Eddie at the Royal Rumble.

Ad for the new WWE Originals CD.

Here comes the Coach! He’s joining the announce team.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Looks like Jericho is the baby face in this one. Crowd is chanting “Y2J.” Coach reminds us that there is absolutely no outside interference tonight. Springboard dropkick by Jericho. And a dropkick by Dupree, who does his awesome French dance. He’s getting good heel heat. Abdominal stretch by Dupree. Jericho reverses the stretch. Hip toss by Dupree and an elbow drop. Dupree does the dance again and misses an elbow drop. King notes that Dupree calls that dance “the French tickler.” Jericho does his dance and nails Dupree and gets a two count. Bulldog by Jericho, but Dupree gets his knees up when Jericho goes for the Lionsault. Dupree gets a slam for two. Jericho goes for the Walls, locks it in, and Dupree taps out. Solid match.
WINNER – Chris Jericho

Anti-Mick Foley “hardcore legend” promo, paid for by the friends and supporters of Randy Orton.

Jericho is in the locker room and Christian comes in to congratulate him. Christian asks Jericho to use his Survivor Series favor to allow him in the battle royal tonight instead of Jericho. Jericho politely refuses.

Some Puddle of Piss song or something is the official theme song of the Rumble.

They hype the HHH/HBK match coming up at the Rumble.

Mark Henry with Theodore Long vs. Rico with Miss Jackie

Rico plays mind games to start, then kisses Long on the head. Long trips Rico and Henry goes to work. Henry goes to the nerve hold of death. Rico goes to the top rope, but Henry gets the World’s Strongest Slam for the win.
WINNER – Mark Henry

Orton and DAVE are looking over the new Raw magazine. Flair busts in and uses the “what’s causin’ all that?” line. Flair, Orton, and DAVE talk about the Rumble and WrestleMania, even the possibility of a HHH/Orton main event.

The Extreme Blast of the Night is Maven eliminating the Undertaker from the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Kane vs. Spike Dudley

This goes about as well for Spike as one would expect. Then Spike shoves the referee but the ref thinks Kane did it, and Kane gets disqualified. Ha!
WINNER BY DQ – Spike Dudley

Kane then destroys Spike.

Coming up next, Goldberg vs. Steiner vs. Test.

Ad for Brock/Holly at the Rumble.

Video package for the weekend house shows.

Scott Steiner vs. Test vs. Goldberg

Green Bay loves Goldberg. Steiner and Test of course double team. Goldberg dominates Steiner. Steiner and Test go back to double teaming. Goldberg regains control, and gives Steiner a military press slam. Test breaks up the spear, and Steiner hits Novocain, but Test breaks it up. Test goes for the cover, and Steiner breaks that up. Test and Steiner then go at it. Goldberg and Steiner blow a hangman spot. Steiner goes for the rear chinlock of extreme discomfort, which Test breaks up, but then Goldberg spears Test. Jackhammer, and that’s it.
WINNER – Goldberg

Another anti-Foley ad brought to us by Randy Orton. Austin, in his first appearance for the night, is shown watching the ad on his stupid ATV. Then Cade and Jindrak are shown, short of breath. What?

WrestleMania recall is the immortal Brawl for All from 1999, where Bart Gunn became a punchline. Ha, I kill myself.

Aw, crap. Here comes Austin. He talks about the Foley/Orton saga. Austin tells Foley he has to show up at the Royal Rumble, or else Austin is going to be pissed. Can he please go away now?

They plug the battle royal for later tonight.

They show a video package from the opening celebration for the WWE Originals CD.

Molly and Trish are talking and Molly says “that’s why you’ll never win my women’s title.” What were they talking about? Anyway, Christian comes up and tells Trish he knows how she really feels about Jericho. He tells Trish that Jericho feels the same way. Then Christian shows Trish pictures he took on his phone of all the girls he was with last week. Christian then tells her that she’s the last thing on Jericho’s mind. Trish is trying not to be upset.

Lita vs. Jazz

Lita and Jazz work the typical women’s match. This show seems to be going on forever. Lita with a corner clothesline and a monkey flip. Jazz reverses to an Irish whip and knocks Lita down. Jazz works on the neck. Lita hits a cool reversal of a head lock and gets a two-count. Flying head scissors by Lita. Spinning back suplex by Lita gets two. Lita hits a reverse twist of fate and takes her shirt off. She goes to the top rope, but Long impedes her progress. Lita attacks him, so Jazz rolls her up and gets three.
WINNER – Jazz

Terri is interviewing Hurricane, who will face Orton after the break. They talk about the odds being against Hurricane all the time. Hurricane says he can beat Orton, win the battle royal tonight, then the Royal Rumble, then main event WrestleMania. Then Terri busts out an old catch phrase: “anything can happen in the WWE.”

We get another recap of the Orton/Foley saga from last week, including the Orton/RVD match.

Randy Orton vs. The Hurricane, IC title not on the line

It’s Pat Patterson’s birthday today. Big clothesline by Orton to start, which gets two. Big dropkick gets two. Hurricane quickens the pace, and hits a blockbuster for a near fall. Another near-fall for Hurricane. Hurricane hits what looked like a reverse-unprettier, and covers Orton three times but only gets two each time. Hurricane hits a beautiful cross body off the top for two, but Orton comes back with the RKO for three.
WINNER – Randy Orton

Rosey comes down to check on Hurricane, but Flair and Batista attack him. The Dudley Boyz come out and beat up on Evolution. The Dudleyz get set to put Flair through a table, but Orton and DAVE make the save. Then Coach gets on the mic, and gets into the ring to throw his weight around. Gee, how is this going to turn out? Coach gets a 3D.

Mark Henry is confronting Jericho backstage about being small. Jericho makes fun of Henry’s odor. Henry says Jericho will smell his stank all over Trish, if Jericho ever gets close to her again.

Ad for the Last Man Standing match at the Rumble.

We learn that Spike will not be in the battle royal tonight.

We go to Cole and Tazz in the WWE Studios to pimp their portion of the Royal Rumble.

JR and King preview the Raw section of the Rumble.

BATTLE ROYAL: Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Chris Jericho, Mark Henry, Goldberg, and Randy Orton

Six men in the ring. When someone is thrown over the top they are eliminated. Winner gets to be #30 in the Rumble.

And we go to COMMERICAL!

Ad for WWE Live Events.

I want to punch John Henson in the face.

We’re back and the battle royal is getting ready to start. Goldberg dominates everyone to start. Then everyone teams up on Goldberg. Jericho goes after Henry. Booker eliminates RVD. Jericho throws Booker out. Orton thinks he eliminated Jericho, but Jericho skins the cat and almost throws Orton out, who also skins the cat. What is it with RVD and Booker, can’t they catch a break? The remaining four guys do stuff to each other. Jericho almost eliminates Orton. Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Henry. Orton and Henry eliminated Jericho. Goldberg spears Henry. Orton and Goldberg eliminate Mark Henry. It’s down to Orton and Goldberg, but Flair and DAVE make their way to ringside. Goldberg spears Orton, and presses him over his head and throws Orton to the outside.
WINNER, and #30 IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE – Goldberg

Well, that was anticlimactic.

I’ll be back next week, and until then, SUPPORT PK!