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411’s WWE Smackdown Report 05.23.08

May 23, 2008 | Posted by Larry Csonka

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    WWE Smackdown: 5.23.08

    -Brad is having PC issues and will be MIA for a while. You’ll be getting a rotation of guys very likely filling in for the Smackdown recaps.

    -Cole and Foley welcome us.

    Edge wheels out Vickie, who appears to be getting some good heat. We have no clue what it is like to run a huge television show like Smackdown. She faces great pressures, and she still gets all of her duties as GM done. One of those duties are to enforce the rules and regulations of the WWE, and we all know that the titles only change hands on a pin or submission. Charles Robinson counted out Edge, and made the mistake of awarding the Undertaker the title. Thank God she was there to fix the situation. At One Night Stand there will not be a mistake. She is now making a match, no matter what the Undertaker says. Every match a One Night Stand is extreme rules. (She tries to stand, but is just too weak.) She is making a match for the World Title, the most extreme world title match ever to be made. It will be Tables, Ladders and Chairs; Edge vs. The Undertaker. Oh, and if the Undertaker loses, it will be the last time you see him. Because if he loses, he will be BANISHED from the entire WWE forever! FOR-EV-ER! FOR—EV—ER! FOR—EV—ER!

    Deuce, Domino and Maryse vs. Jesse, Festus and Cherry

    Festus goes bat shit at the bell and beats the BEJESUS out of Deuce and Domino. After running wild a bit he tags Jesse, slams him onto Domino and he covers for 2. Domino fights back, tags in Deuce and Jesse with the Thesz press. Basement dropkick by Jesse, off the ropes and Deuce gets a springboard clothesline out of nowhere. Where’s he been hiding that? Domino tags in, snap mare and a chinlock applied. Jesse tries to escape; Domino gets a Michinoku driver and a cover for 2. Deuce tags back in, and roll up for 2. Jesse back with rights, but Deuce slams him to the corner and then gets a snap mare, tag to Domino and hell lay the boots to Jesse. A slam, big leg drop and a cover for 2. Jesse tries to fight back again, Deuce tags in and gets a double ax smash. Off the ropes and a fist drop will get 2. Deuce drives the elbow into the face while working the arm of Jesse, but Jesse escapes, fights back and gets a neck breaker on Deuce. He crawls for the tag, kicks away Deuce and the Ladies are in now. Cherry with forearm strikes, off the ropes and a Monkey flip. Face buster now, and then they blow a bulldog badly (Maryse’s fault I’d say). Everyone is in now, the guys brawl to the floor and Maryse kicks Cherry in the face, falls down and then covers for the pin. Maryse may be one of the most uncoordinated people I have ever seen.

    Winners: Deuce, Domino and Maryse @ 6:25 via pin

    -Deuce, Domino and Maryse celebrate.

    -Edge and Vickie talk in the back and Chavo is here. He says he is here to fix things. Vickie says there isn’t, and has booked Chavo vs. The Undertaker tonight. He flips out, and Edge says he is afraid. Chavo said he isn’t and Edge assures him that Ryder, Hawkins, Bam and he will all be out there to support him.

    MVP makes his way to the ring. The VIP Lounge is for better than YOU, and tonight his guest is Teddy Long, who he is better than. He gives him a chance to tell his side of the story, as the former GM of Smackdown. Teddy makes his way to the ring. MVP welcomes Teddy, and he would like to call an audible. MVP now won’t let him tell his side of the story. MVP remembers the hell Teddy put him through, and he will tell him all the things he has wanted to say. Teddy has been jealous of MVP since day one. Of the money, clothes, his hair, jealous of everything. MVP overcame the odds, since he is the most talented man around here. Teddy goes to leave, MVP grabs him and Batista is now out. MVP is OFFENDED that Batista is here, and Batista says he is here to say goodbye to Teddy and wish him well. Batista says he was always fair, hell he paid MVP a lot of money. Batista and Teddy shake, and then says if MVP touches Teddy again he will put his fist down his throat. MVP says Batista should be in the back and worrying about his stretcher match. MVP says Batista has disrespected him, and Batista disagrees. Disrespect would be… destroying the set, which Batista begins to do. MVP bails as Batista does some fake karate and breaks shit. Batista celebrates.

    -Edge and Chavo meet backstage and MVP is here to talk to Vickie. MVP is OFFENDED that his VIP Lounge was destroyed and asks her to do something about it. Vickie makes a match with Batista, which MVP doesn’t like. Vickie says NO JIBBER JABBER and for MVP to get ready, his match is tonight.

    Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. Chuck Palumbo

    Lock up, Finlay takes Palumbo to a knee and elbows him in the face. To the corner, Finlay with a single leg and a knee crank. Palumbo with a neck vice to try and break, but Finlay works the knee still. To their feet, rights traded and Palumbo takes Finlay down with boots. Short-armed clothesline by Palumbo and now into the chinlock. Knees to the back by Palumbo, to the corner and shoulder blocks to Finlay. Big rights to Finlay now, a boot follows and Hornswoggle sprays Palumbo with a super soaker. Palumbo drops Finlay with a right, chases Hornswoggle and then Finlay levels him with a clothesline on the floor. Hornswoggle splashes Palumbo and then hides back under the ring. Finlay kicks him in the face, tosses him backing but Palumbo kicks Finlay in the face as he tries to come back into the ring. Palumbo follows, another boot to the face and then breaks the count. Rights to Finlay, back in they go and Palumbo gets a belly to back suplex for 2. Mounted rights now, but Finlay escapes into move #435, the arm bar. Palumbo escapes, back to the chinlock eh goes and keeps Finlay down. To the corner, rights by Finlay and as the ref pulls him of Palumbo levels Finlay with a clothesline and covers for 2. More kicks by Palumbo, knees to the back and now another chinlock. Finlay escapes but gets leveled again by a big boot and Palumbo covers for 2. Knees to the back as well as kicks by Palumbo, which gets him a cover for 2. Finlay with a jawbreaker, Palumbo misses a corner charge and Finlay gets clotheslines. A whip and shoulder block connect, FINLAY ROLL and a cover for 2. Finlay to the 2nd ropes, a cross body gets 2. Palumbo trips Finlay to the corner, a clothesline now and a cover for 2. Overhead toss by Palumbo, Hornswoggle is back and Palumbo grabs him and tosses him in the ring. GREEN MIST~! SHACKALACKI SHOT by Finlay! 1…2…3!

    Winner: Finlay @ 9:40 via pin

    -MVP prepares in the back.

    MVP vs. Batista

    They both work for an advantage to begin, to the corner and they break. Lock up and MVP with a hammerlock, but Batista tosses him down as he escapes. Lock up, side headlock by Batista, MVP takes him off the ropes, but no break as Batista maintains the hold. Knees by MVP, off the ropes and a back elbow by Batista. MVP to the floor, back in after a powder and jabs by MVP. Batista misses a clothesline, rights and a headlock by MVP. Off the ropes, counters by both and then a big boot by Batista. To the floor they go, Batista in control and then suplexes MVP back into the ring. Batista charges and MVP gets a basement dropkick. A Kawada Kick knocks Batista all the way to the floor, and we’ll head to a commercial @ 4:10.

    Back from commercial @ 7:20 as MVP gets a cover for 2. MVP tries to pull Batista to his feet, but Batista slams MVP to the corner and beats him down. MVP kicks away at the knee, and then a boot to the face. MVP up top… Batista grabs him but MVP grabs him arm and drops all the way to the floor, that’ll hurt. MVP back in and goes to work on the arm. MVP to the floor now, and slams the arm off of the steel post. Back in the ring and Batista tries to fight back, MVP with the drop toehold and then slams Batista shoulder first to the post. MVP continues to punish the arm and then gets a cover for 2. A neck breaker by MVP, which gets a cover for 2. MVP sets for another Kawada kick, but Batista SPEARS the shit out of him. A backdrop by Batista and MVP to the floor. Batista follows, slams MVP to the post shoulder first for some revenge, back in the ring and slams him to the post again. And now a 3rd time. Batista catches a kick by MVP, spinebuster time. ONE ARMED DAVE BOMB and that’s all she wrote.

    Winner: Batista @ 14:00 via pin

    -We get highlights of the Santino/Piper/Sal stuff from Raw.

    Vladimir Kozlov vs. Nunzio

    Let’s see her, Nunzio tries to fight but fails. Arm bar by Kozlov, into a northern lights style suplex for 2. Nunzio with kicks, but Kozlov with a huge overhead throw. A big boot by Kozlov, rights and lefts by Nunzio fail as he takes a head butt to the chest. Kozlov lays Nunzio ion the top rope, kicks, head butts and then gets the finisher without a name, or the “Выплесните Снижение” for the win.

    Winner: Vladimir Kozlov @ 1:50 via pin


    Elijah Burke and Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston and Matt Hardy

    Kofi and Burke to begin. Lock up, Burke works the arm, Kofi rolls out, trips the leg and then into an arm bar. Burke escapes that, but Kofi gets a jackknife for the cover of 2. Tag to Matt, rights to Burke, arm bar applied but to the corner they go, Burke with boots, rights and lefts but Matt comes back and rocks him with a right. Corner clothesline, bulldog countered and a suplex by Matt. To the 2nd rope, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ax handle smash and as he goes for the side effect, Benjamin distracts the ref and that allows Burke to fight back and eventually tag in Benjamin. Tag back to Burke as they work a double team stun gun on Matt. Burke chokes him out, Benjamin back in and gets a neck crank on Matt. Rights by Benjamin now, Irish whip, reversal and Matt gets the side effect. He’ll tag I Kofi, forearms to Benjamin. Another. Head scissors by Kofi, BO BO BO leg drop connects. Up top and a HUGE cross body on Benjamin gets 2 as Burke makes the save. Burke tossed to the floor, Matt gets laid out but Kofi nails the Cool Runnings on Benjamin for the win.

    Winners: Kofi Kingston and Matt Hardy @ 4:55 via pin


    -The Undertaker makes his way to the ring. Total ring entrance time: 2:53

    -Chavo makes his way to the ring with Edge, Hawkins, Ryder and Bam flanking him.

    The Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero

    Guerrero with rights and lefts to Taker, but that was a bas idea as Taker just beats him down. BEST PURE STRIKER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WWE! Back elbows by Taker, off the ropes and a big boot by Taker. Old School by Taker. GOOZLE, Guerrero grabs the ropes and then Taker misses a boot and Edge and the Rmy pull him to the floor, beat him down and the ref tosses them. Guerrero on the attack, back in the ring and right and boots to Taker. Leg kick snow, a basement dropkick and Guerrero is in control. Taker tosses him down, uppercuts though by Guerrero. Guerrero tosses him to the floor and leaps off of the apron and gets caught and slammed to the steel post. Guerrero catches Taker as he comes back in and gets a hangman’s DDT. Taker sits up, Guerrero with rights but Taker fires back, to the corner, head butt, rights and Taker is back in control. Off the ropes and a huge backdrop on Guerrero. Irish whip and a corner clothesline by Taker. Snake eyes and a big boot both connect. Elbow drop and a cover for 2. GOOZLE, Guerrero rakes the eyes as Bam distracts the ref. Guerrero leaps off of the 2nd rope, caught, Taker levels Bam but as the ref checks on him Guerrero gets a low blow on Taker. Guerrero up top, SIT UP by Taker. Cross body, Guerrero caught, TOMBSTONE and that’s all for Chavito.

    Winner: The Undertaker @ 5:30 via pin

    -Taker celebrates, because he’s a bad ass.

    -End Scene…


    * WWE Title Last Man Standing Match: Triple H © vs. Randy Orton
    * World Title Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match (If the Undertaker Loses he is BANISHED!): The Undertaker vs. Edge
    * First Blood Match: JBL vs. John Cena
    * Stretcher Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Batista
    * Falls Count Anywhere Match
    Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
    * Singapore Cane Match (To crown a #1 Contender for the ECW Title): Tommy Dreamer vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. The Big Show

  • Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 4R’s!
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    Larry Csonka

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