411’s WWE Smackdown Report 06.11.10

Hi, hello and welcome to 411’s WWE Smackdown Report! I’m Steve Cook, and it looks like I’m going to be your Smackdown recapper for at least the next few weeks or so. This gig keeps chewing people up and spitting them out, so now it’s on me to try and tame the beast. I’ve already done Ask 411 Wrestling longer than anybody in recorded history so if anybody can do it, it’s me.

For future reference, I watch the show on a video-sharing website before it actually airs on MyNetwork TV. The people who post these are usually pretty good about leaving in all of the important stuff, but sometimes things get left out. I’ll do my best to make sure I get everything covered, but that’s my official explanation for anything that I miss.

Many people, myself included, have been comparing CM Punk’s new look to that of Delirious, a popular independent wrestler who mainly works the Ring of Honor circuit and crossed paths with the Punker quite a bit back in the IWA Mid-South glory days of awesome cards with 25 people attending. Some of you might not be familiar with Delirious and have no idea what we’re talking about. Well, I’ll help you with that tonight…

LET IT ROLL! We are in Tampa, Florida for Friday Night Smackdown…Todd Grisham & Matt Striker are your hosts. All four men in Smackdown’s Fatal 4-Way World title match will be in action, as Big Show takes on CM Punk while Rey Mysterio battles World Champion Jack Swagger.

Match 1: Non-Title Match
Rey Mysterio vs. World Champion Jack Swagger
Opening Promo!

Rey grabs the mike after his entrance. He asks Tampa “What it do?” and says that he was given a second chance last week and did what he does best, the impossible. He won the Smackdown battle royal and qualified for Fatal 4-Way. When he wins, it won’t be his World title, it’ll be “our” World title. Do we really need another guy doing Matt Morgan’s gimmick? He starts with the Mexican talk and that brings out the All-American American. Swagger claims that Rey has never earned anything, he capitalizes on the misfortune of others, specifically the Undertaker. While he was in Tijuana drinking cervezas, Swagger was in America perfecting the art of wrestling because he knew one day that he would be destined for the World heavyweight championship. The fans claim that Swagger sucks. Rey thinks that all that higher education went to waste because everything he just said was stupid. He compares Swagger to Sylvester and then says he’s proud of his heritage and representing the 6-1-9. He claims it will take one 6-1-9 to take Swagger’s title. Swagger had the line of the segment so far when he said “A miracle?” after Rey asked him if he knew what it would take for Rey to take his world title.

Well, here come CM Punk, Luke Gallows & Serena. They got Malcolm X & JFK, so it was only a matter of time before it happened to him. On Monday he was the target of 36 armed assailants and anybody else who that had happened to wouldn’t be able to compete today. He happens to be extraordinary, while Rey & Jack are normal. He’s the only straight-edge three-time world champion in WWE history. The only thing better than that is being a four-timer. He will become the champion at Fatal 4-Way. Swagger claims he does not have a lisp. Rey says the whole WWE Universe is tired of hearing Punk run his mouth. He already beat Punk and shaved his head, why doesn’t he show some dignity and pull off that silly little mask? Punk says it’s the pot calling the kettle black and that he isn’t bald. Big Show is bald, and he makes his way down to the ring. He says we all know he’ll beat the three of them up and walk out the champion. He has mad respect for Rey, and while he represents the 619, Show probably represents three area codes. We know Swagger has his issues. Show doesn’t understand Punk’s deal, he thinks his bald look is pretty good, so he offers to pull Punk’s mask off for him. Punk wants to pull off Show’s face, but they’re interrupted by red light, and Kane on the Titantron. He wonders who is responsible for his brother’s demise. When he finds who is responsible, they will end up in a casket. Maybe it was two of them in a plot, or maybe it was all four of them, because there’s no one person who can do this to his brother. Whoever it was, hw knows on thing. THERE WILL BE VENGEANCE!

Match 1: Non-Title Match
Rey Mysterio vs. World Champion Jack Swagger

Swagger takes Rey down to the mat. Rey ducks out. Swagger picks Rey up and slams him to the mat, then rolls around some on the mat to establish dominance. Rey tries to get out of the waistlock, eventually he gets an arm drag, he ducks and Swagger runs into the corner, he ducks again and Swagger flies outside over the top rope. Kick to the gut by Swagger, he clubs Rey down and rams him into the corner. He chokes Rey with hs knee, then kicks him down in the corner as the fans chant “619”. Whirlybird bulldog by Rey gets two. A flying head scissors puts Swagger in position for the 619, Rey hits it and splashes Swagger…it’s a two count because Swagger’s foot is on the ropes! He rolls outside as we head to commercial.

When we come back, Jack sends Rey sliding out of the ring. During the commercial, Rey did a dive. Swagger follows him outside, clubs him a couple of times and sends him back inside. He chokes Rey with his boot, and Irish whips him hard into the corner. Swagger hits the chinlock and switches to the body scissors. He lets Rey out, and Rey kicks him a couple of times, off the ropes, Rey ducks Swagger one time, but Jack lands the clothesline the second time and gets a two count. Rey eats those clotheslines a lot, doesn’t he? Swagger places Rey up top and sets up a superplex, but Rey blocks it, headbutts Swagger off…but Jack Swagger thinks he’s Kurt Angle, as he pops up and belly to belly suplexes Rey off the top! Cover gets two.

After a commercial we see Jack using the ring post to stretch Rey. Striker applauds Swagger as he walks by, VINTAGE HEEL ANNOUNCER! Back in the ring now, Swagger puts Rey in a body scissors. Rey fights out by hitting Swagger’s knee. He kicks Swagger in the corner a couple of times, and ducks when Swagger tries to splash him, but his run of luck ends when Swagger crotches him on the top rope, putting him in the Tree of Woe. Swagger tries a running charge, but Rey rises out of the way and Swagger ends up charging the ring post. Rey hits a seated senton, but soon runs into a big boot from Jack. Two count! Swagger dead lifts Rey and seems to be setting up for the Doctor Bomb, but Rey flips out and ends up sending Swagger into position…for the 619 to the stomach! 619 to the face! Rey drops the dime and gets the three count!

Winner: Rey Mysterio (9:46 shown, ***)
Good TV match here, but one of these days Jack Swagger needs to stop cleanly losing matches on TV to everybody he faces on a PPV if they want people to take him seriously as a top guy. I also think it’s tough to buy into Rey as an underdog when he wins all the time. I think the only time he didn‘t win a lot was back when he was World Champion, so maybe there‘s a common thread here.

Swagger attacks during the celebration, but is interrupted by Kane! To Swagger’s credit, he doesn’t stop beating Rey up during his entrance. I hate it when people pause what they’re doing because somebody’s music starts. He still ends up eating a choke slam, and so does Rey.

Match 2: Non-Title Match
Co-Women’s Champion Layla (w/Co-Women’s Champion Michelle McCool & NXT Rookie Kaval) vs. Tiffany (w/Kelly Kelly)

Before the match, we get a LayCool promo. They’re about to throw up because of the ugliness of the fans. Michelle tells Layla to be quiet because her parents Mary & Terry McCool are in attendance, and tells the other fans to leave them alone. Their real talk this week is that the fans need a Famous Flawless Makeover. Whatever that is. Striker says that Kelly’s mother is in attendance as well, but we don‘t get to see if Kelly gets her looks from her or not. Layla & Tiffany trade shots, Tiffany tries to climb the ropes but Layla kicks her down. Layla head scissors Tiffany on the mat, getting some assistance from the ropes. Tiffany slaps Layla, inverted atomic drop, clotheslines. Into the corner. Some punches and then Tiffany is sent down. Tiffany gets an inside cradle for two. She knocks Michelle off the ring apron, but Layla hits a neck breaker (The Lay-Out according to Striker) and gets the three count.

Winner: Layla (1:42 ½*)
Layla & Tiffany have been involved in some decent matches lately, but this was not one of them. At least they were looking good tonight, and I enjoy Kaval’s ring attire.

Team LayCool celebrates while Kaval wonders if Michelle’s parents are gonna cock-block him.

We’re back from commercial and Christian is in the ring looking for his peeps…EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Vickie Guerrero introduces to us the future of the WWE, a man who is so mesmerizing in many, many ways, Dolph Ziggler!

Match 3: Singles Action
Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero)

Striker almost calls Dolph “Zack”. Haw! Christian chases Dolph around some, he gets the early advantage and catapults Dolph out of the ring. Plancha by Christian! He throws Dolph back in the ring and heads up top, but Dolph knocks Christian off and sends him flying down to the floor. Vickie approves as we go to commercial…

Dolph chokes Christian on the ropes, then does the old Macho Man neck snap against the ropes for a two count. Dolph punches away on a seated Christian, and covers for two. He does the Mr. Perfect neck snap, showing he’s been studying his 80s tapes. Dolph’s attempt at a double axe handle gets met with a boot from Christian, proving that Dolph needs to do more studying. Punches from Christian, a forearm, dropkick off the second rope gets a two count. Kick by Dolph, Christian slaps him while on the apron, heads up top, cross body block, Dolph rolls through and gets a two count out of it. Running Rocker Dropper by Ziggler gets two. And people thought I was nuts when I compared him to Billy Gunn a few months ago. Punch by Christian, he ducks Dolph in the corner, kicks him, a flying forearm off the second rope sets up for the Killswitch, but Dolph reverses into a sleeper, Christian gets out, goes up top, a sunset flip gets a three count for Christian!

Winner: Christian (5:57 aired **)
Decent enough match here, but nothing too special by Christian’s standards.

Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer attack Christian from behind! The Gate Crashers hit their reverse DDT/flying elbow drop combo on Christian. Their contract expires tonight, have they made enough of an impact to continue crashing gates? Dolph Ziggler then puts Christian to sleep with the sleeper hold.

Kane tells a casket with a wreath on it that he will never allow his fire to be extinguished. All his life he felt Undertaker guiding him on the stairway to success, and now he’s gone. His soul is empty & hollow. It’s tortured, but so will be the culprits, who are damned with every fiber of his monstrous being. They’re damned to vengeance and to hell.

Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring with his awesome music playing. He wants Smackdown General Manager Theodore Long to get out here right now, and so he does. Drew tells Teddy to watch the Titantron. They watch clips from last Friday’s Smackdown, where Matt Hardy helped cost Drew his match with Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston. Then we see what happened on Monday Night Raw, where Drew was forced to face the Mystery Man, Matt Hardy. Drew claims that he is the chosen one and Long’s not getting it through his head. Drew announces that per Mr. McMahon, not only is Matt Hardy suspended from Smackdown, but he’s also suspended from all WWE programming. He told Long that if he turned a blind eye to his misfortunes one more time there would be a severe price to pay. He’s about to break some news when Kofi Kingston walks out. Kofi is sick and tired of hearing Drew whine and complain and cry about not getting his way. Everybody is sick of it, even the popcorn vendor. On behalf of the entire WWE Universe, he’s telling Drew to shut up. They are exact opposites. When Kofi falls, he picks himself up. When he wants something, he earns it. When he doesn’t like somebody, he does something about it. He punches Drew with his microphone and it’s a scrum. Kofi knocks Drew to the floor with Trouble in Paradise! BOOM BOOM BOOM, says Kofi. Drew does not look pleased.

Backstage after a commercial break, Theodore Long tries to call Vince McMahon, but Drew McIntyre throws his phone down, and informs him that next week, Drew McIntyre will be taking on Teddy Long. And if Long doesn’t go through with it, he’ll be fired! Long looks dumbfounded.

Match 4: Main Event
Big Show vs. CM Punk (w/Luke Gallows & Serena)

Punk lands the first shots, but Show shrugs them off and pushes him down. The kicks don’t have much more effect, Punk spends most of his time running around and trying to duck out. Now the kicks have some effect, Punk goes up top, but Show declares that he’ll kill him and Punk thinks better of it. He goes to the floor and consults with the Straight Edge Society as we go to commercial.

Show chops Punk into the ring when we come back. Big punch in the gut. Chop to the chest hair! To the other corner…punch to the gut. The fans chant “Take it off” and Show tries to remove the mask, but settles for clubbing Punk in the back. Choke…Show keeps the choke in and goes for the mask, but Gallows & the Hooded Stranger attack Show and cause a disqualification.

Winner by disqualification: Big Show (3:25 aired, *)
Not much of a match here, folks. Punk was selling Monday’s beat down from the former NXTers and didn‘t do a whole heck of a lot. Combine that with the time allotted and this thing had no chance.

HS & Gallows beat Show down, Punk lands a big kick and the men pound away while Punk recovers. Serena lands a big kick! The beat down is interrupted by Kane, and the SES pauses their beat down to get ready. Chokeslam for Hooded Stranger. One for Gallows! Kane looks at the Big Show…is he gonna do it? Yes he is! Chokeslam to Big Show! Punk & Serena look afraid while Kane lights the ring posts on fire and we fade to black. So long and good night!