411’s WWE Smackdown Report 08.19.04

WWE Smackdown Review by J. “Yayowonder” Hernandez
August 19, 2004
Taped from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada and live from my living room.

My name is Yayowonder and I will be recapping WWE SD! tonight for your reading pleasure. No pimps or anything else. This is streamlined baby.

Grades and such
I do not use snowflakes for my ratings, as snowflakes melt. And I hate the snow since I am a Floridian. So we’ll use something everyone understands, I assign grades. Simple, easy, straight-forward. I also assign them on a SD! scale. Meaning I’m not going to rate free TV matches on the same scale as I would PPV matches. I’ll also tell you anything I think that will help explain the grade. Finally I don’t time matches, as I don’t care how long it was (unless it’s with a lady! Bada-bing!), and I don’t think you do either.

JBL
OJ is helping JBL out of the limo. JBL is wearing a halo brace . In a funny spot OJ puts the hat on the back brace. Classy. JBL is reticent to get in the ring but OJ is encouraging him along (it’s been at least two minutes and he’s still not in the ring). JBL loses balance getting in the ring, almost falling to the floor. JBL says he is in tremendous pain and asks the crowd to keep it down, which prompts the crowd to boo. JNL says he’s lucky to be alive after having to go to a Canadian hospital. JBL says he’s there living up to a promise. The promise was to be in the ring so the crowd could chant his name. He also promised to be in the ring to say he beat Taker. JBL talks about how Taker attacked him from behind with the belt. He says we’re going to watch it, and those with TIVO may want to put the women and children to bed (Hahaha). He then shows still shots from the match about Taker’s criminal actions against him. JBL says he isn’t a coward like the Canadian army. JBL asks OJ to take off his jacket. JNL says every moment he’s awake he’s in pain and anguish because of Taker. He then tells the crowd to quiet down, because like America he’s their to protect them. JBL then says Taker will never get a rematch or the WWE title again. Dong! OJ scurries out to get a chair. JBL tries to get out of the ring, but his brace hits the ropes and he bounces off onto the mat. OJ then helps JBL out and over the barricade. As OJ turns, JBL loses his balances and sits on a fan at ringside and they both fall off the chair. OJ and JBL make their way back as Taker poses with the belt in the ring. Commercials.

Scotty 2 Hotty v. Spike Dudley, Cruiserweight Championship Match
Scotty makes his way down and then all the Dudz come down. Spike has Scotty in the corner but a punch is blocked and he’s sent to the mat. Three scoop slams by Scotty. He has Spike’s arm but Spike puts his leg on the rope to break. Scotty kicks the rope. Spike tries throwing Scotty over the top rope but he skins the cat. Now Scotty throws Spike over but the other Dudz catch him and roll him in. Scotty with the faceplant. WORM is blocked. Spike and D-Von have the ref’s attention as Bubba beats on Scotty outside. Spike clothesline misses but Scotty connects with the superkick. Scotty pin gets two as Bubba puts Spike’s leg under the bottom rope. Scotty goes to spear Scotty but hits ringpost. Dudley Dog by Spike and its 1-2-3. Dudz aren’t done as Bubba belly flops on Scotty. Now we get D-Von and Bubba hold-up Scotty as Spike goes for the evil nut kick. Commercials.

Winner: Spike Dudley
Grade: B
Commentary: Fun affair between two of the Cruiserweights who don’t have the most high-impact of repertoires. It helped further progress Spike’s heelishness and gave Scotty something to do now that Mr. Stink-Face is gone. We can only hope this leads to Spike becoming the most evil heel ever.

RAW Rebound
Pick a recap any recap.

Cena
We start with the announcers talking, and a big banner goes up behind them saying Heidenreich Next Week. We’re then thrown over to Josh Matthews and Cena. Next week on SD! is the second match of the best of five series. Josh asks if John thinks he can go two and zero. John asks if Josh can swallow a convenience store bratwurst… of course he can! Cena is talking about going 2 and 0 and the champ being here when Spike interrupts. Spike says he’s the only champ around here. He then tells Spike to get some glasses, because he can’t see him and wraps his hand around his neck. It’s elementary then Watson, that the other Dudz come down and beat him down. Commercials.

Paul London/Billy Kidman v. Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble
London and Noble lock-up and we get exchanged takedowns. London has a front face-lock turned into a wristlock. It’s reversed and London takes a knee to the gut. Jamie has a whip blocked and turned into a hiptoss by London. Chavo tags in and gets armdragged and then double dropkicked. Noble is back in the ring but dropped with a flying side kick from London. London whips Noble into the corner. Follow-through attempt leads to him being tossed over but he lands on the apron. Paul hits an elbow and then uses the top turnbuckle for leverage to hit the leg scissors. He then knocks Chavo off the apron. Noble is able to hit a shoulderblock and then tags Chavo. Chavo with kicks on Paul and then some blows to Paul’s back as he cuts the ring in half. Noble tagged in and clotheslines London down. He drags Paul to the heel corner and tags Chavo, who comes in with a flying legdrop from the outside. Pin attempt 1-2-Kickout. London trying to fight back but not all that successful. Noble tagged in and starts working on Paul’s neck. London with kicks but eats a knee to the chin. Chavo tagged back in. London whipped and Chavo and Noble go for the back body drop on Paul. Paul is able to apply the breaks, and kick Chavo in the face as Noble ducks out of the way. Noble still holding London’s leg, but Paul does a full body flip and kicks Paul in the face. Billy is tagged and he’s a house on fire! Noble is put in a standing fireman’s carry by Kidman and then flipped into a backbreaker, very nice looking move. Billy gets Chavo by the head and goes for what would look like a Dudley Dog, but instead wraps his legs around Noble and hits the leg scissors instead. Chavo misses a clothesline, hits the ropes, and is dropped with a dropkick (the irony). Pin attempt is broken up by Noble at 1. Whip attempt is reversed by Noble and he hits a T-BONE SUPLEX! If you haven’t noticed I love T-Bone suplexes. But that’s okay as Paul knocks Noble out with a spinning heel kick. London climbs the ropes to go after Noble on the outside, but is pushed off by Chavo and he slightly grazes the air next to the barricade as he crumples on the floor. Chavo Gory Bomb is reversed into an ACE BOMB by Kidman. Billy drags Chavo to the corner. Billy gets on the apron and ends up having to kick Noble off the apron. Sunset flip from the outside by Kidman. Chavo is trying to hold the ropes but can’t… 1-2-Noble gets Chavo’s leg and leverages him back on top. Chavo has the rope 1-2-3?!?!

Winner: Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble
Grade: B+
Commentary: Nice high octane affair that highlights why London and Kidman make such a great pair for tag champs. Since their win they’ve taken the Dudz, Basham’s, and now Chavo/Noble (although that’s not much of a feat), to really enjoyable matches. Because this was non-title, we all know who’s next in line to lose to one of the best reasons not to miss SD!

Teddy
Teddy tells Brian Hebner to go find Cena and the Dudleyz. If they don’t know, one of Teddy’s house rules is if you’re going to fight in the back you better be willing to take it to the ring. Commercials.

Tough Enough
Tough Enough is back and now it’s for $1 million dollars.

Eddie Guerrero
Eddie tells Kurt to come out because the question of who’s better still hasn’t been answered. Eddie says since they each own a win over the other, they need a tie-breaker right here, right now. Kurt makes his way to the top of the ramp with a microphone in his hand. Kurt asks Eddie that him beating him at Summerslam wasn’t enough. Kurt asks the crowd, and Eddie’s in luck because Kurt came here looking for action. Angle makes his way all the way to the ring steps and says there will be no re-match. Angle says he proved he’s better by beating him at Summerslam and making him tap. Eddie tries some reverse psychology, but it’s unsuccessful. Eddie says that this past Sunday, Kurt did outwrestle him. Eddie says that in his whole career no-one has ever outwrestled him like Kurt did. This doesn’t mean he likes him but he respects him. And because both respect the business, and even though he won’t give Eddie his re-match tonight, that he expects Kurt to get in the ring and shake his hand. Kurt doesn’t believe him because he lies, he cheats, and he steals. Kurt gets in the ring and Eddie extends his hand. Kurt is about to shake then has second thoughts. Kurt comes back to Eddie’s extended hand and we get the handshake. Eddie then whoops Kurt’s monkey ass, and he’s clotheslined out of the ring. Luther makes his way on the ring to check on Kurt. Kurt starts whispering to Luther as Eddie says Kurt knows him better then that, he knows he lied. Angle and Reigns go on opposite corners of the outside of the ring and are about to attack, when Rey Mysterio comes flying in and he and Eddie knock Kurt and Luther to the floor. Commercials.

John Cena v. D-Von Dudley
Booker joins the announce team. The Dudleyz (sans Spike) come out. D-Von is working on Cena in the corner. Cena comes back with punches and a clothesline. Whip and Cena hiptosses D-Von. Pin attempt, 1-2-Kickout. D-Von is stomped out. As Bubba tries to distract D-Von makes his way into the ring but eats elbow. D-Von hits the ropes, ducks a knockdown attempt, and hits his own twisting elbow. D-Von pin attempt only gets two. D-Von with an elbow drop and another pin attempt only gets two. Cena fights back. Cena hits a clothesline, a back elbow and a shoulderblock. Pin attempt only gets two. D-Von whips Cena but misses the follow-up hitting the turnbuckle. Cena with a back body drop. Five knuckle shuffle. Pin attempt, 1-2-Kickout. Cena pumps the shoes! Cena coming in but D-Von locks him up. Suplex attempt by D-Von, but it’s blocked and Cena hits the FU! Pin attempt 1-2-3! Cena stays in the ring talking to Booker T. He tells him he has something of his and he will get it back. Commercials.

Winner: John Cena
Grade: B
Commentary: I don’t mind when the big guys go at it as long as they keep the restholds to a minimum. This delivered a good storyline of Dudley cheating (although I’m not sure why Spike wouldn’t come out). It was short, inoffensive, and let Cena show off most of his signature moves to the crowds delight.

SD! Throwback
Look back at the first SD! focusing in on the HHH v. Rock match for the title, where HBK was special referee.

RVD v. Renee Dupree
Lock-up and we get a wristlock sequence. Lots of chain wrestling to start. We then get the stand off spot. Dupree with a kick. RVD with the block the turnbuckle kick move. RVD ran into the turnpost. Renee working on RVD and hits the snapmare. Armlock by Dupree. RVD trying to fight back but he’s pulled back to the mat. Pin attempt 1-2-kikcout. Dupree gets another armlock. Dupree with some shoulderblocks into RVD’s shoulder. RVD with a kick. Dupree kick to the gut. RVD tries to run Dupree into the ropes but Dupree holds on. RVD with a toe kick to Dupree’s jaw. Fisherman’s suplex, 1-2-kickout by Dupree. Rolling thunder eats knees. RVD in the corner and kicks him in the face. Jumps to the top but Dupree knocks him down. Superplex by Dupree. Dupree pin attempt 1-2-kickout! Dupree gets kicked in the face and RVD climbs the turnbuckle… FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! 1-2-3. And as I was asking myself what the hell happened to Kenzo he runs out and beats the tar out of RVD. THE RISING SUN! Maybe Suzuki is RVD’s anti-drug?

Winner: RVD
Grade: B
Commentary: What the hell happened to Dupree? He was on his way to becoming one of the most over heels on SD!, had his own interview segment, and now he’s losing to anyone with a pulse. At least when Chavo lost to Nunzio last week, they gave him the duke this week. As for RVD and for that matter Dupree, the chain wrestling kind of surprised me. I didn’t think Renee could or RVD cared enough too anymore. Too bad that this amounts to a throw-away match, as it was just there to have the Kenzo beatdown at the end.

Teddy in the production truck
Teddy tells one of the production women to play the tape once she gets the signal as he has a huge announcement. We then get an ebonics tryout, but she’s not up to snuff. Commercials.

Teddy in the ring
Since becoming SD! GM, Teddy has been trying to make an impact. Teddy says he has re-signed the most stoic man in wrestling. We then get the video which is of Big Show. He then talks about SD!’s main event tonight: Mysterio/Guerrero v. Angle/Reigns. Teddy says it’s happening right now.

Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio v. Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns
I’ll try to keep up. Commercials.

We’re back
Eddie starts with a dropkick to Luther’s knees. Eddie after Luther with punches but Luther comes back with a flurry of his own in the corner. Eddie back with chops and gets Luther in the corner. Rey tagged in and they both kick Reigns in the corner. Luther whipped and Eddie lifts Rey up to kick Luther. Eddie knocks Kurt off the apron. Rey whip attempt reversed and he’s caught as he tries the body press off the middle rope. Pin attempt 1-2-kickout. Kurt tagged and he’s working over Rey. Clothesline by Kurt and a pin attempt only gets two. Kurt has Rey in a headlock. Rey runs the ropes ducks Kurt and hits the monster head-scissors. Eddie tagged in and he’s pounding away at Angle. Kurt whipped and eats elbow. THE THREE AMIGOS is stopped short of Chevy Chase as Luther breaks it up. Kurt is able to tag in Reigns who starts pounding away. Eddie with some punches and chops, but Luther regains control and tags in Kurt. Kurt whips Eddie as Luther holds down the top rope and Eddie is sent to the floor, and he’s holding his ankle. Commercials.

We’re back…
Kurt has Eddie in the Angle lock, but Eddie is able to get out. Kurt back on Eddie and puts him in an STF. Luther tagged in and starts twisting the ankle. Kurt back in and now he’s working the lower left leg. Eddie is able to leverage into a small cradle, 1-2-kickout. Luther back in and he Eddie wasthisclose to making the tag. Luther still working the lower leg. Eddie is almost pinned as he is laying on his back. Eddie breaks out by putting his other boot on Luther’s face and pushing, but Kurt is tagged in and cuts Eddie off before the tag could be made. Kurt with another submission move on the leg and Eddie has one on Kurt’s head which is turned into an armbreaker. Eddie gets some punches and whips Kurt, but he reverses with the belly to bell suplex. Angle Slam countered into a Tornado DDT! We’re up to 9 in the ten count and we get stereo tags! Springboard on Reigns! Angle knocked off the apron. Rey with another TORNADO DDT! Angle breaks it up. Kurt gets Rey and whips him but its reversed and Kurt eats boots and rolls out. Luther gets Rey up for a powerbomb but Rey head scissors him into the ref. Luther gets him up for a suplex, but Rey is able to hook his feet on the top rope and shimmy down. Rey with a shoulder to Luther’s mid-section and then hangs him on the top rope. Rey 6-1-9’s Kurt on the apron (using the ringpost as opposed to the ropes for leverage). Springboard legdrop on Reigns! Reigns kicked in the back into 6-1-9 position. Rey’s goes 6-1-9 but Kurt hits his knees with a chair! Kurt going to do more damage with an Anglelock, but is chased off by a chair wielding Eddie! Luther is about to suplex Rey when Eddie hits the low-blow. Rey tags Eddie as the ref has come too. Kick by Eddie and he introduces Luther to all THREE AMIGOS! Eddie goes up the corner as Luther begins to get up. Rey back in and hits the 6-1-9! FROG SPLASH! 1-2-3! Kurt comes back out with some white paint and pours it on Eddie’s lo-lo. Oh hell no, that motherfucker is dead.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio
Grade: B+
Commentary: Great match. Although some may think this should go higher or lower depending on your tolerance for resthold/submission moves, I think it was okay. Most of it was focused on what Eddie was already injured from, his ankle. Luther maybe green but I believe he has a great ring presence and just needs to cut down on his mistakes (the ref bump/getting into position for the 6-1-9). And of course with the other three you know you’re getting the goodness.

Overall grade: B+
Commentary: SD! is starting to really heat up folks. We have good to great matches every week and now the stories are finally starting to come around. If the E can keep this up in a years time we maybe asking why RAW sucks again (never forget we were asking that same question not that long ago when the SD! 6 ruled the roost).

And I’m spent. E-mail me at [email protected] or AIM me at Yayo Wonder with feedback or words of love. You can also go here for more me. I know you want it.